


The more I'm learning (the more I don't know)

by WinterRose527



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Modern AU, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Some exploration, and literally everyone is hot, and maybe, because they are in college now, because why not, eventually fluff and angst, summertime, teach me to be good at it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:55:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 108,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterRose527/pseuds/WinterRose527
Summary: Robb is home from his first year of university and Myrcella is getting ready for the first year of hers. The pair have always had honesty between them, and that, along with a little bit of alcohol leads to a confession. An offer is made and a deal is struck.If only it were really that simple.Title is from "When we were young" by Lost Kings.





	1. Chapter 1

“BEST SUMMER EVER!,” Sansa shouted at the top of her lungs.

 

“Seven hells,” Robb grunted as he carried her up the back stairs.

 

Myrcella tried not to laugh, but it was difficult considering Sansa had just tucked a flower behind his ear. Plus she was a little drunk.

 

Though definitely not as drunk as Sansa.

 

“How much did she drink?,” Robb asked her as she held the door open for them.

 

“Um…,” she evaded.

 

Sansa looked over and pointed her finger at her. Or tried to, anyway. It ended up about six inches to her right.

 

“Snitches get _stitches_ ,” she warned though and then her face fell, “I’m just kidding I’d never hurt you baby but don’t tell him I drank four tekillas.”

 

“FOUR TEQUILAS?,” Robb practically shouted and she couldn’t help but stomp on his foot.

 

He glared at her but when a pack of dogs started barking she raised her eyebrow at him as though to say _see?_

 

“Four _tekillas_ ,” Sansa corrected and Robb turned to look at her, “Te _killas_.”

 

“Stop saying tequila like that,” Robb ordered.

 

Sansa groaned and gave up, which resulted in her throwing her head back and making herself dead weight in his arms. He stumbled a little but righted himself well enough and redistributed her in his arms and started walking up the back stairs.

 

He had to go up two flights, to the wing of the house where the elder Stark children had their bedrooms and only slowed as he neared the very top.

 

“You’ve got this,” she cajoled.

 

As though that had actually worked he started walking quicker and finally made it into Sansa’s bedroom. She pulled the covers back and Robb laid her down.

 

“You’re both so pretty,” Sansa said, holding her hands in front of her to frame them like a picture.

 

“So are you, Dovey,” she grinned, “Do you need advil or anything?”

 

“Noooope,” she cooed, she looked at them and shook her head, “So pretty. So tekilla.”

 

“TEQUILA,” Robb practically shouted and she clamped a hand over his mouth.

 

“Do you want your Dad to come in, you ninny?,” she asked.

 

She felt more than heard him laugh, his breath tickling her skin and she snatched her hand away. She smiled, trying to hide her blush by turning back to Sansa.

 

“Sleep tight, Sansa,” she said and kissed her forehead.

 

“Thanks El,” Sansa returned.

 

“I’m the one who carried you,” Robb pointed out.

 

“OOOh somebody’s _jealoussss_ ,” Sansa cooed at him and then held her hand out, “You’re the best brother everrrr.”

 

“I know,” he chuckled, “Get some sleep, San, it won’t be better in the morning but we’ll deal with that then.”

 

She giggled and headed for the door, feeling him at her heels. They shut out the light and closed Sansa’s door. The rest of the Stark house was quiet, the other kids long asleep and Ned and Catelyn assured that Robb would get Sansa home safely.

 

He always did, he was just that kind of big brother.

 

Not like hers.

 

She pulled her phone out of her bag and checked it. A few texts from Trystane, one from Harry, one from Shireen. None from Joffrey though - even though they’d been at the same party.

 

It wasn’t a surprise, really. He _wasn’t_ that kind of big brother. Not even a year away at college had endeared him to her or Tommen.

 

“Thanks for grabbing her, it would have taken me _way_ longer to carry her back,” she joked.

 

He grinned and stretched, his t shirt rising up to reveal those groin muscles that every attractive boy seemed to have. She tried not to look but it was kind of hard not to.

 

“You staying over?,” he wondered.

 

She shook her head, “No I have an early tennis lesson. I should go back.”

 

He nodded, “Alright come on, I’ll walk you.”

 

She shook her head, “You don’t -“

 

“Don’t give me that, Baratheon. Your Dad would _murder_ me if I let you walk home alone right now,” he said, “And so would mine, come on.”

 

He made a good point so she nodded and followed him back down the stairs. It wasn’t terribly far to her house, especially if you walked by the lake - but lot’s of people partied in the woods, not just teenagers. In truth, she hadn’t been looking forward to walking by herself.

 

It was a warm night, and the tequila in her blood warmed her further, making the light breeze coming off the water a welcome respite.

 

They walked in silence for a little bit. She’d always liked that about him, he never felt the need to fill silences like his best friend Theon did. She could be quiet as well, prone to daydreaming, and though she was social she was horribly introverted. Senseless chatter took the metal out of her.

 

They came across a couple _coupling_ against a tree and Robb chuckled as she covered her eyes, grabbing his arm so that she didn’t fall as she tried to give them their privacy.

 

“Nothing’s changed around here,” he said once they’d gone a safe distance.

 

She wondered, “Is it odd to be home?”

 

He’d just returned from his first year at college too. He’d gone to their father’s alma mater, The Vale, where she was heading in the fall.

 

He shrugged, “A little, I guess. The normal stuff, my mom ragging on me for my messy room and that sort of thing feels a little strange but um… kind of nice too.”

 

She smiled at that, he’d always been a Mama’s boy.

 

He nudged his arm against hers, “What about you? Are you ready for the fall?”

 

She felt a nervous shiver run down her spine but she nodded, “Definitely.”

 

He looked at her and grinned, “Liar. What are you worried about?”

 

She shrugged, “Lots of things.”

 

“Like? I mean, with the amount of APs you took, aren’t you practically starting as a sophomore?”

 

“Second semester freshman, technically,” she clarified, “But it’s not the academics - I feel like I’ll adjust to that but… everything else, I don’t know…”

 

“Don’t tell me you’ll be homesick…”

 

She chuckled, “Slim chance of that. No, but I’ll be Sansa-sick.”

 

He grimaced and nodded, “Yeah that’s a tough one. But, she’s so good about staying in touch. She was always sending me care packages and writing me letters and setting up times to video chat, and I’m just her brother. You’re her soulmate.”

 

She giggled and nodded, because that was fair. She might be the only person in the world who ranked higher in Sansa’s esteem than him.

 

“But there’s just…,” she started and then shook her head, “I don’t know, I’m just being silly.”

 

“Maybe,” he said, “But knowing you I’d bet not.”

 

“I’ve had two tekillas so I’m just going to come out and say this…”

 

“OH MY GOD IT’S _TEQUILA_ ,” he practically shouted at her.

 

She chuckled, “No, it’s _tekilla_ … it’s Harry Hardyng’s _signature cocktail_.”

 

“God he’s a douche,” Robb grimaced.

 

She nodded at that. She wondered briefly if Robb felt that way because Harry had dated Jeyne Westerling after him or because he was currently trying to date Sansa. Or because he was just, well, a douche.

 

“But you were saying…,” Robb prompted.

 

She bit her lip and he raised his eyebrows at her. He made most girls nervous, some couldn’t even talk to him, but it had never been that way for her. In fact, he’d had to translate a lot of her babble when she was a baby, him being the only one to understand the language she and Sansa had developed.

 

He was gorgeous, that was obvious, but to her he had always just been _Robb_. The boy she could bring all her secrets to.

 

“I’m a virgin,” she finally just said. Even in the dark she could tell that he was blushing. “See? Sorry, I just, I don’t know. I’m not _embarrassed_ about it, or anything, but I’m just like…”

 

“Like what?,” he asked.

 

“Well I’m _really_ a virgin,” she said.

 

“I believe you…”

 

“No I mean that… well… all I’ve ever done is kiss…,” she clarified and now it was her who was blushing.

 

He was silent for a moment and then he said, “That isn’t a bad thing.”

 

“It is if I find someone I’m really into and then I freak them out by being horrible at everything,” she pointed out.

 

“That’s unlikely,” he said.

 

“What makes you say that?,” she wondered.

 

“Well because… when you’re _that_ into someone, it kind of just… clicks.”

 

“How many virgins have you slept with?,” she challenged.

 

“What?,” he asked, as though horrified that the conversation had come around to him.

 

“How many?,” she asked again, though she could guess the answer.

 

Robb had never had a serious girlfriend. He had girls that he hooked up with _exclusively,_ like Jeyne Westerling, but he’d never had a _hold-hands-in-the-hallway-bring-them-to-Sunday-dinner_ kind of relationship. Which she knew, because she was usually at the Starks’ Sunday dinners.

 

He would never casually hook up with a virgin, because while he was a _bit_ slutty, he was very careful with girls’ feelings.

 

“Um…none.”

 

“So…”

 

“Okay, fine, point taken. But honestly… guys are usually pretty happy to _take the lead_ on that… and if they got a girl like you into bed they are going to think anything you do is amazing,” he waved her off as though she had nothing to worry about.

 

“What if I bit their dick?,” she questioned.

 

“Why would you do that?,” he practically gasped.

 

“To prove this point…”

 

He chuckled and shook his head, “Well I’ll bet you could even find some guys alright with that. But seriously I think the main thing is just not to overthink that stuff, you know? I mean, the best sex I’ve had is when everyone’s super relaxed about it…”

 

“You only say that because you’re good at it,” she reasoned.

 

“What? How do you know that?,” he sputtered.

 

“Come on, Robb. _Everyone_ knows that…”

 

He groaned, “Now _that_ I don’t miss. High school gossip.”

 

“Even when it’s about your sexual prowess?,” she teased, knocking her shoulder against his arm.

 

He chuckled, “Especially then.” She grinned and he shook his head, “But seriously, El, you’re overthinking this. The guys are going to go wild for you and you just have to worry about finding someone worth your time. Everything else will happen naturally.”

 

She nodded, trying to take him at his word. He never lied, so she knew he meant it, she just wasn’t so sure that she believed him.

 

It was the second tekilla that made her admit, “I just wish I knew if I was even a good kisser.”

 

“Well without having kissed you I couldn’t say for sure, but I’m sure that you are,” he noted kindly.

 

She stopped walking as the plan formed in her mind. Even as she thought of it, she knew that she couldn’t actually _do_ it. It wasn’t fair to ask, plus he was Sansa’s brother. He was practically her brother - they had taken baths together as kids.

 

She watched him walk ahead, not having realised that she’d stopped and took in the sinewy muscles of his back, evident even in his t shirt and his russet curls. He was a far cry from the boy that used to read her Goodnight Moon. He was practically a man now.

 

And he really was undeniably gorgeous. With a reputation for being incredible in bed.

 

She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

 

“Would you?,” she found herself asking anyway.

 

He stopped walking and turned around, “Would I what?”

 

She fidgeted with the hem of her top, “Kiss me. Just once. And tell me, for sure.”

 

“You want me to kiss you?,” he asked, sounding nervous. Strangely that made her less so.

 

“I know I’m not your type or anything but-“

 

“What makes you say that?,” he interrupted.

 

“Well just because… the girls you date… tend to be…,” she started and he raised his eyebrows at her, “B…-runette.”

 

He chuckled at her, as though he knew she was about to say _busty_ , though both were true. There had been the Jeynes (Poole and Westerling) and Margery Tyrell and Roslin Frey. All brunettes, all significantly curvier than her.

 

“You’d tell me, if I was bad it I mean,” she pointed out, “And you wouldn’t… make fun of me… or tell anyone.”

 

“You sound awfully sure of that,” he said.

 

“I’m surer of that than just about anything,” she told him, “It’s not who you are. I trust you.”

 

He scratched his cheek, “Not sure that’s such a good idea.”

 

She nodded, “You’re right, I shouldn’t have suggested it… sorry I just…”

 

“I meant you trusting me,” he clarified. “But… you’re right, I mean… I would never tell anyone anything you didn’t want me to.”

 

“So… should I walk closer to you?,” she wondered.

 

He nodded, “I think that’s a good start.”

 

She took a deep breath and closed the distance between them, until there was only about a foot. He was tall, much taller than her, and when he stepped a few inches closer to her she looked up at him.

 

She wished that she had put on chapstick or something, but there was no time. She asked him a question with her eyes and he nodded slightly.

 

She stood up on her tiptoes and he bent down and their lips met somewhere in the middle. His were warm and soft, and they pressed against hers briefly before he pulled away.

 

“Very nice,” he stepped away.

 

She scowled at him, “That was a _peck_ … look, maybe this was a mistake…,” because he clearly didn’t want to go through with it so she started to walk away, desperate to forget this embarrassing ordeal had ever happened.

 

She’d hardly gone a foot when she felt his hand on her forearm turning her back to him. Before she could ask him what he was doing he had kissed her again.

 

This time was different, his other hand held her face gently and he kissed her like he meant it. His lips wandered over hers in a delicious pattern, every time she thought she’d gotten used to it he altered it and she found herself chasing his lips. It was the most intoxicating frustration and she wrapped her arm around his neck, trying to hold him steady and then she felt his lips teasing hers open, his tongue gliding against hers.

 

A warm rush shot down straight to her core and she licked at his tongue gently before she retreated and took his pillowy bottom lip in between hers, sucking on it.

 

The hand that had been holding her forearm wandered up until he gripped into her hair, tilting her head back. She sucked on his lip again, liking the way it tasted, and he groaned into her mouth which sent a shiver all through her body. She could feel the heat radiating off of him so she pressed herself closer to him, her tongue wandering into his mouth.

 

He pressed her back against something hard, and she wrapped her arm around his waist, pulling him flush against her.

 

He broke the kiss and before she knew it his lips were at her throat. They ghosted up the column of it, before pressing a kiss behind her ear that made her toes curl.

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she whimpered.

 

He froze against her, and it was only then that she realised her hand was in his hair, his leg pressed in between hers.

 

She could have sworn he nuzzled into her once before he pulled away. She dropped her hand and tried not to shiver when he did, it was tricky though, with the loss of heat - and him.

 

He looked away and cleared his throat, twisting his legs momentarily.

 

“Confirmed,” he nodded.

 

“Hmm?,” she wondered, her mind still a little hazy.

 

“You… are a… very good kisser,” he said.

 

“Oh,” she remembered how this had all started. “Thank you.”

 

He nodded and, as though nothing had just happened, they continued walking towards her house. He walked her into the circular drive and only stopped walking when she’d gone up the two steps to her terrace.

 

“Thank you,” she said once again, turning around to face him, “For walking me home and for…”

 

“The pleasure was all mine, Baratheon,” he teased.

 

She blushed and chuckled, giving him a small wave and then heading towards her house.

 

She unlocked her door and went inside, locking it behind her. The house was quiet so she tiptoed up the stairs to her suite. She found Tommen’s cat, Ser Pounce, sleeping soundly on her bed and she scratched behind his ears and pulled off her tank top and shorts, unsnapping her bra and pulling down her underwear.

 

She tossed everything in the hamper and was going to grab some pajamas when she heard her phone ding.

 

She grabbed it out of her bag, and was surprised to see that she had a text from Robb.

 

_You’ve got nothing to worry about, El. College doesn’t stand a chance against you._

 

She grinned and bit her lip, putting her phone down and going to her drawers to pull out a pair of pajamas. She grabbed a blue and white striped set and pulled them on and went into her bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

 

She should be tired, but for some reason she felt wired and practically skipped back to her bed.

 

She plopped herself down and Ser Pounce meowed in annoyance though he got up and walked up her body before settling on her chest.

 

She grabbed her phone and looked at the message again before responding.

 

_I hope you’re right… but there’s more to it all than just kissing, right?_

 

She saw the typing bubbles appear and a moment later he responded.

 

_More to college? Yeah. There’s drinking too._

 

She giggled but sent back the eyeroll emoji. _You know what I mean_.

 

Robb: _Yeah, I know what you mean._

 

Ella: _It’s weird, huh? Me talking to you about this._

 

Robb: _Well it wasn’t what I expected to be talking to you about. But I don’t mind. You can talk to me about anything, always, you know that._

 

Robb: _Don’t you?_

 

Ella: _Yeah, I know._

 

Ella: _I just hear all these horror stories about girls first times, you know? I don’t want to be one of them._

 

Robb: _I don’t want you to be one of them either._

 

The typing bubbles appeared and then disappeared. And then reappeared and then disappeared again. This happened four or five times before she pressed _call_.

 

“Lo?,” he answered, and it sounded like he was getting into bed.

 

“Hey…,” she said, suddenly nervous. “You um… it seemed like you were having a hard time saying whatever you were about to say…”

 

She heard him sigh and she wondered if she shouldn’t have called.

 

“I don’t like you freaking out about this,” he told her.

 

“Yes how unfortunate for _you_ ,” she noted dryly.

 

He let out a loud sigh, “I just don’t like the idea of some guy preying on your lack of experience.”

 

“Yeah well it’s a little tough to get experience without risking that,” she pointed out, then joked, “Unless you’re offering, of course.”

 

She expected him to laugh, but he didn’t.

 

“What if I am?,” he asked, “Offering, I mean.”

 

“To what… exactly?,” she wondered.

 

“To…show you the ropes,” he said, which didn’t really clarify much but had her sitting up anyway. “If you want.”

 

She thought about that kiss, the way it felt with his hands in her hair and his lips on hers. He was _good_ at it, everyone said so. And she trusted him. More than any boy she’d ever known.

 

“You’d do that?,” she asked.

 

“Why not?,” he returned and she could practically see him shrugging. “We’re both single and um, it’s not like kissing you was such a chore.”

 

“You should be a poet,” she teased.

 

He chuckled, “Don’t be like that. You want me to say it? I’ll say it. Kissing you felt _good…_ Really good. I’d like to do it again.”

 

Her heart was beating wildly and she wondered how only earlier tonight she’d thought that he didn’t make her nervous.

 

“Kissing you felt good too,” she admitted, because whenever something frightened her she liked to push ahead.

 

“So, think about it,” he said, “The offer is there whenever you want it. No hard feelings if you never take me up on it but it’s there.”

 

“I want to,” she told him immediately, “I want you to teach me to be good at it.”

 

“That’s not what I’m offering, El, I’m not doing this for your future boyfriend, I’m doing it for you,” he told her.

 

“So what does that mean?,” she wondered.

 

“It means that I know too many girls that don’t know what they like, because nobody has ever tried to figure it out. They end up dating douchebags that act like flopping around on top of them is a gift. I don’t want that for you,” he lamented.

 

“So you want to…”

 

“Help you find what you like.”

 

“Why? I mean, what would you get out of that?,” she couldn’t help but ask.

 

He chuckled, “Oh you sweet, summer child.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the lovely responses! 
> 
> For whatever reason, the chapters on this are really long, and I'm thinking of sticking to one POV the whole story.

“I never even asked you where you ended up last night?,” Theon said as they docked his sailboat. “Telllll me it wasn’t with Jeyne Poole.”

 

Robb chuckled, “Of course not, I was told she’s off limits.”

 

Theon grinned, “Damn straight she is. I mean honestly did you _see_ her? What is the opposite of the freshman fifteen?”

 

Robb grimaced and shook his head. Theon was right, Jeyne looked better now than she ever had, but he knew from Sansa that you _never_ talked about a girl’s weight.

 

“So?,” Theon prompted.

 

“Sansa was wasted, I took her home,” he told him.

 

“ _Dovey_ ,” Theon groaned, “She’s such a cockblock. Yara would never do that to me.”

 

“Yara has literally stolen two of your girlfriends,” Robb pointed out.

 

Besides, if he hadn’t taken Sansa home he never would have walked Ella home. Never would have felt her body pressed against his, never would have heard what his name sounded like when she whimpered it.

 

Sansa was clearly the superior sister.

 

“Whatever,” Theon grinned, “So why didn’t you come back?”

 

“I uh, had to walk Ella home too,” he told him.

 

Theon closed his eyes and smiled, “ _Speaking_ of girls that have grown up…”

 

“Watch it,” Robb warned.

 

Theon chuckled and hopped off the boat and Robb followed.

 

“I’m not saying I’m going to _do_ anything,” Theon told him, “Virgins are too needy but good _lord_ that ass.”

 

“Seriously man, _watch it_ ,” Robb found himself growling.

 

He hadn’t been lying to Ella last night. He hated it when guys reduced girls to their experience, like it was some kind of _flaw_ or something. As though there was some perfect medium of a girl not being a virgin but also not having fucked enough people to be considered a slut and it was all just bullshit.

 

Theon chuckled and held his hands up, “Down boy. I know she’s like a sister to you. She’s off limits, alright?”

 

“It’s not that,” Robb shook his head, because it wasn’t like Ella _belonged_ to him. “Just don’t talk about her like that.”

 

Theon looked at him for a moment longer and he averted his gaze, grabbing the cooler he’d taken on the boat.

 

“Alright,” Theon said eventually, and then grinned, “But admit it, you’ve thought about grabbing that perky little ass of hers just as much as I have.”

 

Robb grimaced, because yeah, he had. He had thought about it _a lot_. Had even before last night.

 

It wasn’t like he had a crush on her or anything. She’d always been one of his closest friends. He still remembered her standing next to Sansa the morning he left for university, hugging Sansa, who was sobbing, a single tear running down her cheek as she waved goodbye as his parents drove him off.

 

But it was kind of impossible to be in the same vicinity as her and not realise what an absolute knockout she was. And Theon was right, she had grown up this year.

 

She’d always been a beauty, all wide green eyes and golden hair, but she’d matured over the winter. She was still slender, but she looked less like a new fawn than she had even a summer before.

 

And her ass was the stuff of daydreams.

 

“Once or twice,” he admitted, because it was easier to say that than tell him that if their conversation from last night came to fruition he might be grabbing that ass very soon.

 

It was then that he remembered she was coming to dinner, and he was suddenly famished.

 

“Look uh, I gotta get back for family dinner. See you tomorrow?,” he asked.

 

Theon nodded and Robb raced off. They only lived a few houses down from each other and he was on his family’s property in no time, walking up the expansive backyard and up the back steps.

 

He turned to the left and walked onto the terrace, knowing that with it being such a warm night everyone would be eating outside.

 

And there it was. That perky, _perfect_ , ass.

 

“Hey,” he managed and Ella turned around.

 

Oh yeah, she’d grown up this year.

 

Her golden hair was pulled off her face in some half-up style, and she wore a light pink onesie thing, he thought it was called a playsuit maybe. Sansa would know. It was high across her neck with tiny, barely there straps and it hugged her upper body perfectly, the shorts part of it was looser but _short,_ the fabric kissing her already tan legs.

 

She gave him the smile that she’d always given him. It was the one that made you think she knew a marvellous secret. Now though, he felt like he was in on it.

 

“Hi Wolf,” she said, “Did you have good wind today?”

 

“Yep, about 15 knots,” he told her as she started placing forks at every place setting.“Need any help?”

 

“You are _awfully_ generous this summer,” she teased and he chuckled, grabbing a couple of the glasses that were sitting in a group and putting them at the right place, following her around the table.

 

“What can I say?,” he asked, “I was raised right.”

 

Ella looked at him and grinned, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Her fingertips brushed against the place where his lips had made her whimper, her body rolling against his.

 

“Well I’ll take that as a compliment,” his mom said as she came out onto the terrace.

 

Ella blushed and so did he, but he turned to his mom and smacked a kiss on her head, “All the glory goes to you, Mom.”

 

Ella giggled and so did his mom, but she crossed to where Ella was standing and smoothed her hair.

 

“Thank you, sweetling,” she said, wrapping her arms around her, “I think you’re the only one who can make these sons of mine behave.”

 

He opened his mouth in mock-horror and the pair of them laughed at him, their heads pressed against one another. His mom loved Ella. His whole family loved her, always had, but his mom was especially vocal about it, always wondering at how such a sweet girl could have come from such an awful woman. His parents had already offered to move Ella into her dorm at The Vale, knowing that Cersei and Robert would probably hire someone to do it, and had made him promise to look out for her at school.

 

As though that was ever in question.

 

“I’m good but I’m not _that_ good,” Ella teased, and his mom laughed and went back inside.

 

He and Ella finished setting the table in silence and then walked back in the house.

 

“Robb! I jumped off the pier today,” his little brother Rickon shouted on sight.

 

“AWOOOOO,” Robb let out a howl and Rickon mimicked him. He held his hand up for a high five, “Way to go, buddy, I didn’t do that until I was ten.”

 

“Really?,” his nine year old brother wiggled excitedly.

 

The pier was a right of passage at the day camp that he and all his siblings had gone to at one point or another. Every few years the director tried to outlaw the kids jumping off of it, clearly afraid of an accident and a lawsuit, but traditions died slow deaths there and he lost every time.

 

“Is my cousin Shireen in your group?,” Ella asked him as she started tossing the salad with dressing.

 

Rickon’s smile died and he nodded at her. Ella’s face fell and she placed down the tongs.

 

“What’s wrong, little one?,” she asked, walking over to him.

 

Rickon looked at him and then back at her, “Some kids were teasing her. About her scar.”

 

Ella’s eyes closed and his stomach churned in anger. Shireen Baratheon was just about the sweetest little girl on the planet, so like her older cousin. He’d always known she’d have a hard time, kids could be so cruel.

 

“You can put a stop to that,” he told him.

 

Ella’s eyes opened and she looked at him and then back at Rickon, stroking his curls. He looked at her adoringly and then turned back to him, a small grin on his face, “I know, I knocked Ryan Bolton into the dirt.”

 

“Wow,” Robb nodded, impressed, “Big day for you, huh?”

 

His little brother shrugged, as though he did it all the time and Robb couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

Ella didn’t find it so funny though and said, “You know, little one, there are other ways too… you could just maybe spend some time with her? People might be nicer to her if they see that she’s friends with you.”

 

Rickon smiled at her, “Okay Lella, I’ll play with her tomorrow. But I’ll still knock anyone into the dirt that is mean to her.”

 

Ella’s brow furrowed but Rickon hopped off his stool and went to go pet his dog, Shaggy.

 

Ella went back to tossing the salad, a scowl on her face. His heart hurt for her, just as his family had adopted her, she had adopted her little cousin whose parents were just as terrible as hers.

 

“It’ll get better for her,” he promised, “Rick’s got the whole fourth grade scene on tap, no one will bother her if he’s -“

 

“What kind of lesson is that?,” she interrupted him. He raised his eyebrows at her, “He can’t just hurt anyone that’s mean to her.”

 

“She’s nine years old, El,” he pointed out, “Do you want kids torturing her?”

 

“Of course not,” she said, “But I also don’t want him being an attack dog. For one thing, that isn’t a healthy way of dealing with anything and for another, he’s just a kid too, he shouldn’t have to be her protector.”

 

Robb sighed and he rubbed her shoulder, finding it tense, “Hate to break it to you, honey, but Stark boys don’t take too kindly to anyone hurting Baratheon girls.”

 

She scowled and he waited until the smile he was sure would come overtook her lips. He grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him.

 

“I don’t know why your mother has so much faith in me,” she groaned, though her arm wrapped around his back, her chin on his chest, “I clearly am terrible at taming her sons’ wildness.”

 

“Admit it,” he said in a low voice, “You like us wild.”

 

Her eyes widened and they trailed down to his lips. He gave her the grin that Margaery Tyrell had described as _roguish_ and her lips opened just a bit, giving him a glimpse of her tongue.

 

“I’ve been thinking about last night,” she told him softly.

 

“Oh me too,” he admitted eagerly.

 

She scrunched her nose in frustration, all but rolling her eyes, “I _meant_ our conversation.”

 

“That too,” he grinned.

 

Now she did roll her eyes and opened her mouth to probably set him straight when his Mom came back inside.

 

“Kiiiiiids _dinnnnner_ ,” she called.

 

From all corners of the house, a stampede of kids and dogs descended. Arya came clomping down the kitchen stairs, and they heard Sansa filing down the back. Bran came in from the living room and even his Dad came in from his study.

 

The dogs, eager for scraps, came running as well.

 

He glanced briefly at Ella but she merely smiled as she tossed some pepper on the salad. She was always at home in the chaos of his house.

 

Ella tugged lightly on his shirt, “Can we talk after dinner?”

 

He nodded, and picked up the salad bowl, but couldn’t help but ask, “Talk?”

 

He wondered if she regretted it. The kiss and the plan. She’d been a little tipsy. But so had he and he wasn’t regretting one second of it - except maybe stopping when she whimpered his name.

 

The idea of what could have happened if he’d kept going had been on his mind last night when he took himself in hand. And again this morning.

 

He knew sex against a tree wasn’t highly likely but it was his fantasy so he suspended disbelief.

 

She stepped forward, her hands covering his briefly. He felt a spark that he couldn’t quite explain and his eyes fell down to look, but her hands were already on the bowl.

 

She took it out of his hands and he looked back up just in time to see a small smile set on her face as she said, “For starters.”

 

With that she walked towards the terrace, wrapping an arm around Arya’s shoulders as she did. His little sister leaned against her, wrapping her arms around her waist and saying something that made Ella throw her head back and laugh.

 

He followed them out as his family was settling around the table. He plopped into the open seat in between Sansa and Arya.

 

When they were younger you couldn’t have paid him enough to sit there, right in the line of fire, but as they’d gotten older - and especially with Sansa off to college in the fall - they’d gotten closer. Now they were more likely to gang up on him, which after a year away he sorely missed.

 

“How’s your group?,” Ella asked Arya.

 

“They are such little shits,” Arya sighed.

 

“Language!,” his Mom reprimanded.

 

He didn’t have to look at Arya to know that she was rolling her eyes, “Fine, feces.”

 

His father choked on his red wine, coughing loudly. Ella was closest and slapped him on the back, the only one of them who wasn’t laughing at him.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she told Arya glumly though, “I always loved my campers.”

 

“Thank you,” Bran quipped.

 

Ella grinned and sat back down, ruffling his hair, “Best camper of 2016 right here, ladies and gentlemen.”

 

“It was rigged,” Arya muffle-shouted and he chuckled.

 

His Mom had made turkey burgers and hamburgers and he grabbed one of each. He watched as Rickon carefully picked all of the cucumbers out of his salad and placed them on Sansa’s plate.

 

He’d missed this when he was away at school. He had known that he was going to miss them all, but he hadn’t realised how much until he was there. He had a great group of friends, but he missed hearing about everyone’s day, knowing what all the kids were up to. The funniest things seemed to happen to Bran and Arya’s commentary was always spot on.

 

He’d just missed them, plain and simple. He’d also missed his Mom’s cooking, so he dug in, listening to his Dad try and get some information out of Bran, who was skilled in evasive techniques.

 

“Sansa, stop texting at the table,” his Mom ordered.

 

“Sorry,” Sansa sighed, placing her phone on her seat next to her. She looked over at Ella and said, “Jeyne wants to know if we want to go over to her house tonight, Harry and Trystane and a few other people are heading over…”

 

He knew that Trystane had taken Ella to prom. Sansa had told him all about it, _best friends going with best friends_. They looked good together, and he knew Trystane pretty well from lacrosse. He was better than his friend Harry, that was for sure, and a pretty good guy - if not a bit cocky for his taste. Though, the same could be said for him he supposed.

 

Even still, he had been looking forward to… talking to Ella. But why would she want to _practice_ with him when the real thing was waiting for her at Jeyne’s house?

 

“Um…,” Ella started, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head. She glanced at him briefly as she tucked her hair being her ear, “I’m kind of tired actually, and I think Robb and I were going to look at the course catalogue and talk about professors… right?”

 

Everyone turned to look at him and he manfully swallowed down the large bite that had somehow amassed as he waited for Ella to answer. He coughed a bit and both Sansa and Arya smacked his back, which wasn’t actually all that helpful.

 

He took a sip of water and lied, “Yup…that was uh… the plan anyway.”

 

“You guys are _such_ nerds,” Sansa teased, picking up her fork and stabbing a pepper with it. She shrugged, “But you guys could always come by after,” she noted looking over at him, “There’ll probably be some people from your year there too. Not that you wouldn’t be welcome anyway.”

 

“Maybe we’ll head over,” he said, though he honestly had no interest in going to Jeyne Poole’s house.

 

“I’ll go,” Arya piped up.

 

He caught Ella’s eye across the table and knew that his face held an identical grin. Arya was sixteen and had started being allowed to go to parties this year, but she didn’t really run in the same crowd that he and Sansa did, even though their friends loved her. She had always been too cool for it.

 

“Really?,” Sansa asked. “Why?”

 

He looked over at Arya and found her blushing, “Just um… something to do.”

 

“Cool,” Sansa took her at her word, but he wasn’t so sure that was the whole story. “Can I do your make-up?”

 

“Sure,” Arya said and everything stopped.

 

He looked at Sansa and she gave him a _hmm_ expression and he glanced at his Dad who gave him a _who do you think this bastard is_ expression. The same one they’d shared over Sansa a few times before.

 

“Why is everyone looking at me?,” Arya asked stubbornly, making it clear she didn’t _actually_ want an answer, “What do I care what Sansa wants to do to my face?”

 

His Mom shook her head, and he could tell she was trying not to smile, “I think it’s lovely, you girls going together.”

 

He was beginning to think that maybe he and Ella would have to stop by later on. At sixteen she was definitely old enough to date, but he wanted to get a look at whatever guy she liked enough to wear make-up for. That wasn’t Arya.

 

“Well that sounds _fun_ ,” Ella piped up, “Now that _both_ my girls are going to be there maybe I’ll have to stop by. Robb, you’ll walk me over later on, won’t you?”

 

She glanced at him meaningfully and he grinned gratefully, “How can I say no?”

 

She pretended to think about and then teased, “You can’t, don’t bother trying,” flipping her hair haughtily and making his family laugh.

 

Dinner passed as normal, and after they’d helped clean up, he and Ella walked up the back staircase to his room. He shut the door behind them and she turned around when she heard the lock click.

 

“Rick will want to come hang out,” he explained and she nodded. “Um, make yourself comfortable…”

 

He grimaced, because he felt like that’s the kind of thing a guy would say in a bad porno. She clearly didn’t watch porn because she didn’t seem to sense anything amiss and went and perched on his desk.

 

He followed her and sat down in his desk chair, her calf resting against his thigh. He was surprised by how much he wanted to run his hand up the length of it, but it looked so smooth.

 

“So…,” she started and he forced his attention off of her legs, “About last night… I know that we both had a bit to drink and everything and that you know um… well I guess what I’m saying is that if you want to take the offer back I understand.”

 

She had her bottom lip worried between her teeth, and he couldn’t tell if it was because she wanted him to forget it all happened or because she didn’t.

 

He wanted to take that bottom lip of hers in between _his_ teeth.

 

“I’m not taking it back,” he told her, and just in case added, “But um, there’s no pressure…,” she glanced at him, “If _you_ don’t want to.”

 

“I want to,” she said softly, her face breaking into a gorgeous grin, but it quickly turned serious, “But I want to amend the terms.”

 

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Alright,” figuring that she would want to only do things over the clothes or that she’d want him to just talk her through it.

 

“I know that you want this to be about me,” she said, “You know um… learning what _I_ like and everything…” He nodded, because he’d slept with enough girls who had no idea what they liked because no one had ever bothered to find out. He didn’t want that for her. “But I think it would help me to enjoy it and you know, _relax_ , and everything, if I felt like I knew what I was doing.”

 

“So you want me to…,” he started, because he wasn’t sure if he could say it.

 

It felt too selfish, too close to what he wanted, to feel her hands and lips and every other inch of her on him, to say it out loud.

 

She glanced at him and then placed her hands on his shoulders and lowered herself into his lap, straddling him. He swallowed hard as she settled herself against him, not sure where to put his hands.

 

“Teach me. How to…,” she started and then looked up at him with wide eyes, “How to… make it feel good.”

 

He wondered if she knew what her words did to him. If she knew what the combination of that innocent gaze and sinful suggestion did to his mind, to his cock.

 

“I only know what I like,” he warned half-heartedly, but the air already felt thick between them.

 

Her eyes wandered down to his lips and back up to his eyes, and she all but whispered, “That’s a good place to start.”

 

He wondered if this was a mistake. If he wasn’t acting like the exact guy he was trying to protect her from. He didn’t like the sound of it, him teaching her to _please_ him. Though a part of him really liked the sound of it.

 

He banished that part and tried to think about it logically. He wouldn’t play with her emotions, or make her do anything she didn’t want to. He could still make it mostly about her. And she’d always known her own mind, and he could tell that she really wanted this.

 

And honestly, so did he.

 

“So is this,” he admitted. Her eyes questioned him and he let his eyes roam down her body, to where she was pressed up against him and then back up, and grinned at her, “That move you just pulled. Very sexy.”

 

A delicious blush covered her cheeks and she gave him a small smile.

 

Her eyes turned serious though and he felt her fingertips ghosting over his cheek, making him stomach clench.

 

He nodded, though he wasn’t sure what question he was answering, and leaned in closer to her, his forehead falling against hers. He let the heat build between them, and though he wanted to close the final distance and press his lips to hers he waited.

 

After a moment he felt her soft lips press against his tentatively, all but shaking, so he pecked her softly and waited once again.

 

She kissed him again more firmly, their lips still closed against one another’s, and then she tilted her head the other way, her fingers weaving into his hair and parted his lips with her own.

 

He couldn’t help but sigh into her mouth and she took advantage, slipping her tongue against his. He held her cheek, his thumb underneath her jaw, his other hand on her thigh, half over her shorts, half on her bare leg. Which was just as smooth as he’d imagined.

 

He really wasn’t sure what she’d been worried about. She was a glorious kisser and he gave into it fully, deepening it. She let him take control and he pulled back, sucking her bottom lip the way she had his the night before.

 

She moaned, her fingers scrunching in his hair and he kissed her upper lip quickly and then sucked her bottom one again, gripping her thigh.

 

She pulled away and there was a question in her eyes and she leaned forward tentatively, bending her head and pressing a soft kiss to his neck. It made the hair on his arms raise and she pressed another.

 

“Is this okay?,” she all but whispered in his ear and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. “Where else do you like to be kissed?”

 

 _Everywhere_ , he could have said.

 

“The um,” he started, his mouth dry, “Ears are uh…usually a winner.”

 

She pressed a soft kiss to the shell of it which felt nice, but she looked at him questioningly.

 

“Why are you blushing?,” she wondered.

 

He groaned, “Because I feel like a creep.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “You’re the least creepy person I know, come on,” she pleaded and he caught a wicked glimmer in her eye and then her lips were against his ear, “You were right, I do like you _wild_ , come on Wolf, show me how to make you _howl_.”

 

_Fuck._

 

“Suck on my earlobe,” he found himself saying. He felt himself harden fully as she did exactly that. One of her hands returned to his hair, the other was on his chest, “Use your teeth.”

 

He felt her teeth graze the shell of his ear and he groaned, grabbing her face and kissing her once again. Their lips trailed over one another’s in a delicious rhythm, and he fought the urge to moan.

 

He realised then that she was moving against him, and he pressed his hand to the small of her back, guiding her movements. He personally wasn’t one much for dry humping, but he knew it got basically every girl off and he was desperate to see if it worked for her.

 

He broke the kiss and fought for breath, “I…have another term.”

 

“A what?,” she asked, blinking.

 

Her lips were swollen and her eyes were hazy and she was so gorgeous it defied reason.

 

“You…have… to tell me,” he ordered, “If you don’t like what I’m doing to you.”

 

“But you haven’t done anything to me,” she all but pouted.

 

He grinned, and cocked his head to the side, “Something you’d like in particular, Miss Baratheon?” She blushed and he rid his voice of its teasing tone, “Tell me. I’ll do whatever you want.”

 

“It felt really good, last night… when you kissed my neck and that spot…,” she started.

 

He kissed her lips briefly, because they were right there and horribly kissable and then he kissed her cheek, and her jawbone, and down to her neck, until he got to the spot behind her. He whispered a kiss against it.

 

“That spot?,” he all but growled in her ear.

 

Her entire body shivered and she nodded against his head, so he pressed a firmer kiss against it. He gripped her hair as gently as he was able and tilted her head back, kissing across her throat to the same spot on the other side, grinning when he felt her clutch his shoulder.

 

“I’d like to touch you, Ella,” he found himself telling her.

 

“W-where?,” she asked, her voice tremoring slightly.

 

“Only where you want me to,” he promised.

 

She leaned her cheek on his shoulder and said, “I don’t think I’m ready for you to touch me… _there_ yet… but you can touch me anywhere else.”

 

He kissed the cheek that was exposed to him, “Okay, honey.”

 

In truth he could not deny that he wanted his hands on her cunt. He wanted his lips there too, and his tongue. His cock. But there was more than enough of her glorious body to occupy him until she was ready for all that.

 

He rubbed her back, and found it tensed. He continued kneading it, kissing her cheek and her neck lazily until he felt it uncoil. He moved the hand on her thigh up, onto her hip and let his finger trail up her sides, his knuckles grazing her ribs.

 

She shivered and then lifted her head off his shoulder. He paused there, his fingers tracing circles at her ribs and she nodded slightly. He dragged his knuckles up, until he felt the side of her soft breast.

 

He could feel her holding her breath and he was holding his too as his fingers trailed over her breast. He took his index finger and circled her nipple and only when it peaked did he flatten his palm against her breast fully, squeezing it gently.

 

He looked at her face and found her looking down at his hand. He wasn’t sure how she felt about it being there, considering he was the first person to ever touch her, so he took his other hand and pressed his index finger under her chin, tilting it up.

 

He groaned when he saw her eyes, there was wildfire in them, the calm green was gone entirely.

 

He wasn’t sure who reached for who first but their lips met again. His hand moved down her body once again, both of them, and grabbed onto her ass.

 

She moaned in his mouth so he squeezed it as he stood up, bringing her with him and tackling her onto the bed.

 

She dragged his shirt over his head, her fingernails scratching his back as he nipped at her collarbone.

 

“ _Fuck_ , _”_ he groaned against her, grasping her thigh and hooking her leg around his waist.

 

He rolled them so that she was on top of him and she didn’t miss a beat, nipping at his earlobe. He grasped her back, dragging his hands down her body until he could grab her butt again.

 

He did, with both hands, squeezing it because it really was utter perfection and she responded by grinding herself against him and grabbing his shoulders, pulling him up so that he was seated.

 

“Are you sure you really want to do this?,” he couldn’t help but ask.

 

She pulled away, “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No,” he assured her, “I just mean that you’re a natural… not sure you need me at all…”

 

_Shut up you stupid fucking idiot._

 

She gave him a small smile and said, “I um… am sure…”

 

_Thank fucking god._

 

She giggled and he realised that he’d said that out loud, and he chuckled. Their lips met laughing and the kiss took on a sweetness that spread like Novocain in his veins.

 

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek and then paused. He pulled away slightly and saw her looking down again.

 

“What?,” he wondered.

 

“You’re _really_ hot,” she told him and he blushed.

 

“Thank you,” he said, though he wasn’t really sure what to say.

 

“Why is that embarrassing to hear?,” she wondered, brushing his hair back, a small smile on her face, “It can’t be a surprise…”

 

“Ella,” he groaned, because it _was_ embarrassing.

 

“You have so many abs!,” she argued stubbornly and he chuckled, but the laughter died on his lips when he felt her finger trailing down them, one by one, getting very close to his hips, “See? One, two, three, four, fivesixsev-“

 

He broke her counting off by kissing her, and he felt her smiling against his lips, her small hands cupping his cheeks.

 

“What are we going to tell Sansa?,” she asked.

 

He closed his eyes, the blood leaving his cock immediately and giving him a bit of a head rush as it shot to every other part of his body.

 

“I don’t know,” he said, “I’m not really in the habit of telling her who I’m hooking up with.”

 

“No, I meant about courses,” Ella said, “She’ll want to know what I decided, but that’s a good point… I tell Sansa everything.”

 

“Look um, do whatever you think is right, but I know my sister and she won’t understand this. She’ll be marrying us off in six weeks flat,” he told her, “She’s a romantic, you know?”

 

Ella was as well, which is one of the reasons he’d been surprised she wanted to go ahead with this. He’d have figured she wanted to be in love before she did anything like this.

 

“You’re right,” she sighed, “I just don’t like lying to her. But she wouldn’t understand this… and I guess I have a right to keep some things private.”

 

“You do,” he agreed, relieved. And then found her grinning, “What?”

 

“I’ve never been someone’s _dirty little secret_ ,” she grinned, wiggling slightly, “It feels so grown up.”

 

He chuckled, “I think technically I’m _your_ dirty little secret.”

 

“Even better,” she said, and then smacked a kiss on his lips and tackled him backwards.

 

He kissed her for a little while longer, not with any intentions, just because it felt nice to have her on top of him, her body under his hands, her lips against his.

 

She pulled away after a little while and asked, “Who do you think it is?”

 

“Okay the first thing you have to understand is that you my brain will _not_ be operating at full capacity when we do this,” he told her and she giggled, “Who do I think who is?”

 

“The boy,” Ella told him, “That’s got Arya all turned around.”

 

He had nearly forgotten about that and released her, rolling over and looking at the clock. It was nearly nine o’clock, his sisters would have left at least an hour ago.

 

“Get up, get dressed,” he told her.

 

“I _am_ dressed,” she pointed out.

 

“Right, the um, brain thing…,” he said by way of explanation.

 

He got off the bed and looked at her. She had that smile on her face. He groaned and hopped on the bed once more and kissed her and then forced himself off of it, trying to locate his t shirt.

 

She sat up and bent over the other side of the bed and grabbed it, “Here you go. Though you may want to wear something else.”

 

He glanced at it and saw that he’d still been wearing the t shirt he’d worn sailing. It was faded and honestly probably a little smelly so he nodded and took it from her and tossed it in the hamper.

 

He walked over to his dresser and grabbed his deodorant, rubbing it on. He felt a pair of warm lips press between his shoulder blades, and he closed his eyes, his head falling forward as her arms wrapped around him.

 

“Thanks,” she said, her cheek against his back. He covered one of her hands with his own, knowing she wasn’t finished. “You’re making something really scary not scary at all.”

 

He smiled, raising her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to her palm and turned around.

 

“It’s not supposed to be scary, it’s supposed to be fun. If anyone ever frightens you, you know what to do,” he told her earnestly.

 

“Find Rickon?,” she teased and he chuckled, though in all honesty his little brother would defend her until his last breath.

 

“But seriously, El, you’ve got to stop acting like I’m being this altruistic, great guy,” he urged her, “That right there was the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

 

“Really?,” she grinned hopefully, “Can we do it again tomorrow? My parents will be out of town…”

 

How many times had heard that phrase in his nineteen years on earth? All those girls had meant one thing. Sex.

 

She didn’t.

 

He nodded and went to his closet, trying not to think about the fact that he was more excited by her offer than any other that he’d ever received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you all think!


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure?,” Sansa asked.

 

“Yeah, Dovey, I’m sure,” she said into the phone, “I’m… not in the mood to go out.”

 

Sansa giggled, “That’s what you said last night at dinner and then Robb had to practically throw you over his shoulder to get you out of there.”

 

They’d gone to Jeyne’s last night and she had been surprised by how normal it felt, walking over there with him. She’d been afraid that hooking up might make them awkward around each other when they weren’t, but she supposed that was the good thing about a guy as experienced as Robb. It didn’t faze him.

 

Well, one of the good things anyway.

 

She knew that they hadn’t really done much of anything in the grand scheme of things, but considering that she’d only kissed three people in her life - one of which had been during a game of spin-the-bottle - it certainly _felt_ like a lot. And he was living up to his reputation.

 

He knew exactly what he was doing and her body reacted to him in a way she didn’t entirely understand.

 

Even still, it had been totally normal as they walked over to Jeyne’s. They actually had spoken about classes, she’d been researching professors and it turned out that he had two of the ones she was most interested in. He’d warned her off one and encouraged her on the other and by the time they’d arrived at the party he’d had her cracking up over stories of the antics of his rugby teammates.

 

They’d gone their separate ways for a bit, she to find Sansa, he to find Theon. Though they’d come back together when they realised that Sansa and Theon were together, part of a group on the back deck playing _never-have-I-ever_.

 

She never played that because the truth was, she hadn’t done much of anything so there wasn’t much point, but she’d simply sat on Jeyne Poole’s lap and giggled as Sansa groaned each time Robb had to drink.

 

 _Never-Have-I-Ever had sex in a sibling’s bed_ ( _Eww, Robby, whose?_ )

 

_Never-Have-I-Ever caught my parent’s having sex (Stop, no)_

 

_Never-Have-I-Ever had a threesome (Okay, I think it’s time for a refill…)_

 

He was by no means the wildest in the group, that honour fell to Theon, or maybe Willem Bracken, but he’d done his fair share. It wasn’t surprising, he was young and gorgeous and other than his devotion to the people he loved, didn’t take anything too seriously.

 

After that someone had started blaring fun, summery music and everyone had gotten up and danced - they’d danced in Jeyne’s house and on the deck, down onto the lawn, even on the dock.

 

She’d danced with Sansa and Jeyne and Arya - whose mysterious boy never showed, apparently - and Theon and Robb. Trystane had twirled her around for a while and she’d even danced with Harry Hardyng. Nobody was wearing shoes and everybody drank too much and it was exactly the kind of summer night that got her through the North’s long, cold winters.

 

So when it had come time to go, she hadn’t been exactly eager.

 

_“Ella, come on, it’s three am,” Robb said._

 

_“Are you sure?,” she asked, swaying to the beat, “It feels early.”_

 

_“That’s the gin,” he teased and she grinned, taking his hand and pulling him towards her. The truth was, she wasn’t drunk, just a little buzzed and incredibly happy to be with all of her closest friends. “Ella…”_

 

_She took his hands in hers, moving to the beat, “Come on, Wolf, just one more dance before bed…”_

 

_He sighed, “How can I say no to that?”_

 

_“You can’t,” she reminded him, “Don’t bother trying…”_

 

His eyes had fallen to her lips and then he’d twirled her and they danced for three songs after that.

 

“I just didn’t feel like walking,” she joked and Sansa giggled in her ear.

 

“Come onnn, Robb doesn’t want to come either and it won’t be as fun without either of you,” Sansa pleaded.

 

Guilt churned in Ella’s stomach. She had never lied to Sansa before last night, and now she must have lied to her five times already.

 

It made her feel awful, but Robb was right. She wouldn’t understand this. To her, sex was going to be a magical thing between two people who loved each other. Ella agreed with that, to an extent. She hoped that it would be, one day, anyway. But she also knew that it didn’t just _happen_ and that it could be a longtime yet before she felt anything close to love and she wasn’t entirely sure that she should have to wait for an immensity of feeling.

 

It wasn’t that she wanted to sleep around or anything. She wasn’t even entirely sure she was ready to have sex. But being with Robb wasn’t sleeping around. He’d keep her safe and he wouldn’t push her to do anything she wasn’t ready to do, and he was experienced enough that he didn’t even seem to mind taking it slow.

 

And the way he kissed her set electric currents through her veins. She didn’t want to have to stop that.

 

Even still, she hated this. Lying. Especially to Sansa, her soulmate.

 

“Sorry, Dovey. We’ll hang out tomorrow night, okay? We’ll do whatever you want,” she promised.

 

“What _ever_ I want?,” Sansa confirmed, “You promise?”

 

Ella rolled her eyes and grinned, “Promise.”

 

“Good,” Sansa exulted, “Because I already told Harry and Trystane we’d go for dinner with them.”

 

Ella chuckled, because even though her best friend sometimes seemed the innocent little Dove, there was always more at work in that mind of hers.

 

“Fine, I’ll come over in the morning and we’ll spend the day together and get ready and then go, okay?,” she told her.

 

Sansa agreed that this was a logical course of action and they hung up, she promising to bring her pink sundress that looked better on Sansa, and Sansa promising that they’d leave if Harry and Trystane were acting like asses.

 

She was surprised a few minutes later when the doorbell rang. She hopped out of bed and padded down the stairs to the front door and opened it.

 

There, looking perfect and if she wasn’t mistaken a little excited, was Robb Stark.

 

“What are you doing here?,” she wondered.

 

His brow furrowed, “You invited me…”

 

She grinned, “No I meant _here_ at my front door, you usually come in through my balcony.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” he said, letting out a sigh that sounded like relief, “I didn’t want to crush these.”

 

With that he proffered a small bouquet of wildflowers. She looked at the flowers dumbly and then up at him and then back at the flowers. Nobody had ever brought her flowers before, except her Uncle Jaime but he didn’t count.

 

“You picked these for me?,” she wondered.

 

“Of course I did,” he said, as though it was nothing and handed them to her.

 

“Thank you,” she smiled and took them from him, stepping aside so he could come in. “Let me just grab a vase, are you hungry or anything?”

 

“No just ate,” he said as he followed her into the kitchen.

 

She went to the cupboard to grab a vase and stood on her tiptoes, only to find him behind her a second later, grabbing it easily off the top shelf. She felt his body against hers, and it felt so big in comparison, his arms surrounding her.

 

“T-thank you,” she said as he placed the vase down on the counter for her.

 

He didn’t say anything but he didn’t step away either, and she was suddenly aware of every cell in her body.

 

She leaned back against him and his body seemed to mold to hers, his nose at her hair. She tilted her head back to look at him and no sooner had their eyes met than his lips descended on hers, his hand cupping her face holding her steady.

 

She was just falling into the kiss when he pressed one slow one to her and then kissed her forehead, “Sorry, I’ve been thinking about doing that since we left my house last night.”

 

She grinned, “Really?”

 

He chuckled at her and swiped her nose, stepping away, “Yes, really. I don’t understand why that’s surprising.”

 

She filled the vase with water and thought about that. Why was it surprising? She knew she was a pretty girl, objectively, but she really was the exact opposite of his type.

 

She placed the flowers in the vase, arranging them simply and smiled, “These are beautiful.”

 

“As are you, my dear,” he quipped and then held his arms wide jovially, “Now, _what_ would you like to learn tonight?”

 

She grinned, “Well… you can advise me on other things too, right you know um… not just _sex_ but…”

 

He chuckled, “I’m going to put _Advisor to Myrcella Penelope Baratheon_ on my resume. But uh, yeah, did you want to look at more courses?”

 

She smiled, “Not exactly,” and walked by him, “I went shopping today.”

 

“Oh yeah? Well I think sundress decisions are more firmly in Sansa’s wheelhouse…,” he teased as he followed her up the stairs.

 

They walked into her room and she placed the vase of flowers on her bedside table and gestured for him to sit in the overstuffed armchair.

 

“Do you mind?,” she asked.

 

He shook his head, kicking off his shoes and grabbing a book off her bookshelf, “Not sure how helpful I’ll be, but by all means, Baratheon.”

 

She picked up her shopping back and went into her bathroom. She pulled off the sundress she was wearing and pulled out the first article.

 

She looked at herself in the mirror, taking a deep breath before she started getting changed.

 

When she was sure that everything was laying the way it was supposed to she went to the door. She didn’t look in the mirror, she couldn’t or she’d lose her nerve, so she opened the door and stepped back into her bedroom.

 

Robb had reclined fully, his feet up on the ottoman and he was engrossed in whatever book he’d chosen.

 

“So what do you think?,” she asked.

 

He looked up briefly and then went to dog ear his page but his head snapped back up so fast she was afraid he’d actually hurt himself.

 

“That’s not a sundress,” he said.

 

“I’m aware of that,” she agreed.

 

“You said -“

 

“No, you said…,” she reminded him, “I just… didn’t correct you.”

 

His mouth was open in shock but his grinned turned wide, “Um… okay… turn around.”

 

She did exactly that, though she felt silly, and when she turned back facing him she couldn’t meet his gaze, “So what do you think?”

 

The outfit in question wasn’t so much an outfit as it was underwear. She’d gone to the overpriced lingerie store in town and had two women helping her with measurements and styles before walking out with a few different things.

 

The first that she was wearing was a deep, wine red silk bra and underwear set. The underwear was pretty standard and felt nice, but the bra was padded and push up and she didn’t really recognise her chest in it.

 

“I like it,” he nodded, “A _lot…_ But…,” Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment and she wondered if they matched the lingerie. “It looks painful.”

 

“It is a little!,” she agreed and lamented, “I don’t think my boobs are supposed to do this.They just kept telling me how sexy it was…”

 

“It is,” he agreed readily, “I mean, um, _wow_ , but there’s no reason for it to _hurt_. I like the underwear though, can you keep those?”

 

She liked them too and nodded, “Yeah I like these, they feel really nice.”

 

“They do?,” he asked, and she could hear the curiosity in his voice.

 

She glanced at him and found him looking at her hungrily, which made her more confident than any push-up bra ever could.

 

“Do you want to feel?,” she asked and he nodded slowly.

 

She walked over to him and he kicked the ottoman away and pulled her in front of him. He was so tall that his head hit her shoulder even seated, his eyes perfectly in line with her very pushed up breasts.

 

His fingers trailed up the sides of her thighs and underwear and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.

 

“It does feel nice,” he agreed, his hands moving behind her until they cupped her butt.

 

She moaned when he squeezed it, her back arching on its own accord and she felt his lips at the top of her breasts.

 

She looked down at him and he up at her and he pressed a purposeful kiss to her left breast. Her heart was beating rapidly, and she wondered if this is what all those romance authors meant by _heaving bosoms_.

 

“Does it really hurt?,” he asked, gesturing to the bra. She nodded dumbly. “Should I…?,” he asked, gesturing to the bra. She nodded dumbly again.

 

He kept his eyes on hers as he moved his hands up her back and unsnapped her bra. She felt instant relief but it was overshadowed by the feel of his palms moving up her shoulder blades before taking hold of the straps and brushing them down her arms, the cups of the bra falling as well until the offending garment was on the floor.

 

“Much better,” he sighed, as though he too was in relief and she couldn’t help but giggle.

 

He grinned and he looked up at her and she couldn’t help but cup his handsome face and bend to press a kiss to his lips. He kissed her back softly, slowly, in a way that made her crave more. She took it, deepening the kiss and he pulled her into his lap so that she was sitting on one of his legs.

 

She wrapped her arm around his neck, her other hand at the collar of his shirt, one of his hands was wrapped around her waist, the other resting on her thigh as his tongue glided over hers deliciously.

 

His hand around her waist moved down until he was holding her by her butt and he pulled away.

 

“These really do feel nice,” he said, looking down and examining the fabric.

 

She grinned, “I know right?”

 

“So does this,” he said, squeezing her butt and she half moaned half giggled. “ _Fuck_ Ella.”

 

She grinned and kissed him softly, “Well at least I’ve got one keeper…”

 

“Yeah, one out of two ain’t bad,” he nodded, but his attention was focusing on her neck.

 

“Oh that’s not all I bought,” she noted.

 

He froze on her neck and she could feel his lips turn upwards in a smile which beckoned her own.

 

He pulled away and looked at her, looking like a little boy on Christmas morning for a moment, “It isn’t?”

 

She shook her head, “Would you-“

 

“Yep,” he said enthusiastically and she kissed his cheek and got up. “Wait, one more look.”

 

She rolled her eyes and turned around, placing a hand on her hip and scowling at him. He was undeterred and grinned at her, nodding that she was allowed to go back into the bathroom.

 

She bent over to grab the bra and she squealed when she felt him kiss her butt cheek.

 

“Oh Ella, we have fun, don’t we?,” he teased and she chuckled as she went back into the bathroom and closed the door.

 

She dropped the bra back in the bag and pulled off her panties. They were wet and her cheeks flushed, but she tore off the tag and dropped them in her hamper.

 

She pulled out the next piece, grinning wickedly as she pulled it on. She wondered why more people didn’t do this. Find someone they were totally comfortable with and just _try things out_. She knew that her friendship with Robb was special, that _he_ was special, there weren’t many boys like him - if any - but even still.

 

She pulled on the next piece, not even bothering to be worried this time after his reaction to her in the last one and stepped out of the bathroom.

 

She spun for him and when she looked back at him he looked like he was trying to fit his entire fist in his mouth, biting on his knuckle.

 

“Yes?,” she wondered.

 

“Fuck yes,” he breathed out. “Please tell me that’s comfortable.”

 

“Surprisingly yes,” she confirmed.

 

It was a black one piece and could have passed as a bathing suit if it wasn’t one hundred percent lace. It was a halter top and low cut, pushing her breasts together, though not obscenely. It had an incredibly low back and the underwear bit was boy shorts, which was infinitely preferable to thongs.

 

It was sexy but kind of playful too and had been her favourite piece she’d tried on.

 

“Can you um, come over here please?,” he asked.

 

She padded over to him and she wondered for a moment if he was going to pull her back into his lap. To her surprise he grabbed onto the tag and ripped it off.

 

“This we’re keeping,” he nodded, pressing a kiss in between her breasts.

 

She giggled, her hands roaming into his soft curls as his lips kissed the swell of one breast and then the other, nuzzling in between them.

 

“Robb!,” she breathed out, half admonishing, half praising.

 

“Do you have any idea how perfect your breasts are?,” he asked, pressing a reverent kiss to one.

 

“You don’t have to say that,” she told him.

 

He looked up at her and asked, “When have I ever lied to you?”

 

_Never._

 

“They’re small,” she pointed out.

 

He grinned, “So are you,” he nuzzled against them and her nipples peaked, “Absolutely perfect.”

 

“I have one more set,” she told him, “Do you want to see?”

 

“Yes,” he said and she went to step away but he pulled her back, pressing another kiss to her chest, “Goodbye old friend.”

 

“I’ll be right back,” she pointed out.

 

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he said with his roguish grin.

 

She went back into the bathroom and pulled off the outfit. She hoped the next one wouldn’t disappoint him, and she folded the black number just in case.

 

She pulled on the final garments, a light blue lace bralet and matching boy shorts that she’d thought looked nice against her newly tanned skin.

 

She poked her head out, “You have to be nice to this new outfit, you can’t blame it for not being the other one.”

 

“I’ll do my best,” he laughed.

 

She opened the door wider and kept her eyes trained on his face. His laughter died but his eyes were still smiling as they wandered over her.

 

She walked closer to him, “So?”

 

“I like it,” he said, but his voice sounded a little funny.

 

She furrowed her brow and crossed the remaining distance to him, taking his face in her hands. Faux-sternly she asked, “Are you lying to me, Robb Stark?”

 

He gave her a small smile and his fingers traced over her cheek, tucking a lock of hair behind her, “No, honey, I’m not lying to you. It’s very you.”

 

“Why does that sound like a bad thing?,” she wondered.

 

He shook his head, “It isn’t. It’s delicate and beautiful and innocent, just like you.”

 

He felt more comfortable with her in the other one, when it wasn’t so obvious what she was, who she was to him. She’d been so surprised at the comfort she felt with him through this that she hadn’t even stopped to question whether he felt the same. 

 

She moved her hands down to his shoulders and pushed him back gently, until his back rested against the chair, and she climbed into his lap. His arms came around her immediately and as she rested her cheek against the back of the chair, he turned to look at her.

 

“You doing okay with this?,” she asked.

 

“With what?,” he asked.

 

“This, what we’re doing…,” she said. “I….I feel so _comfortable_ you know, with you, but I’m not the only one in this. Your feelings matter to me just as much, and I want to make sure you’re okay with it too.”

 

“I’m okay with it,” he confirmed, his fingers trailing down her arm gently, “Like I said last night, I’m having fun. A lot of fun. And yeah, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little strange, you know, I’ve known you since you were born and everything, but the weirdest part is that it _isn’t_ all that weird, you know?”

“I really do,” she agreed. Then asked, “So, what do we think? Is this a keeper?”

 

He adopted a serious face and leaned back from her to examine her more fully, “Oh I think so.”

 

She grinned and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. He kissed her back slowly at first, until they sank into it, his hand taking hold of her hair.

 

She reached down and pulled up the hem of his shirt and he chuckled against her lips, “What?,” she asked.

 

He looked at her, “I’m starting to think you just like me for my body.”

 

“Says the man who literally kissed my ass,” she pointed out.

 

He grinned and lifted up his arms and she pulled his t shirt off of him. She really did like his body. It was spectacular.

 

She pressed a kiss to his collarbone, her fingers tracing through his chest hair. She kissed his shoulder, trailing her lips back to his neck, sucking on it gently. His hands started roaming all over her and she kissed her way up, nipping his earlobe.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he murmured and all of a sudden she was straddling him.

 

He leaned forward and attacked her neck and all she could do was arch her back, exposing more of herself to him. He held her back firmly, his large hands splayed over it as he nipped and sucked and kissed her neck and chest.

 

“Will you…,” she started.

 

“Yes,” he agreed and she would have laughed if she could have found anything funny.

 

“I… I want to feel your lips… um…,” she started but found she couldn’t say it.

 

He leaned his head back and looked at her, and he smiled softly at her and she knew he knew what she wanted. He pulled her bralet up and over her head and pressed a kiss to the top of her right breast, and then trailed his tongue down to her nipple.

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she whimpered.

 

He circled her nipple with his tongue and then sucked it into his lips, tugging on it gently. She felt herself grow impossibly wet and there was a dull ache, a throbbing almost, at her core.

 

He moved to the other breast and pressed hot, open mouth kisses to it and she needed something, anything to relieve the tension, and her hips moved at their own accord.

 

Her center brushed up against him and she gasped at the jolt of pleasure. He looked up at her and she knew that she must be blushing, but she felt his hands move down her back until he was grasping her hips, and he pressed her up against him again.

 

She felt warm all over and she knew that she should be embarrassed but he was looking at her like there was nothing to be embarrassed about so she ground against him again, harder this time, more purposeful. A sigh caught in his throat, his mouth parting and his perfect, pillowy lips were begging to be kissed so she did exactly that.

 

He met her kiss eagerly and she gripped onto him desperately, allowing him to take control, begging for him to.

 

She rocked against him again, but it didn’t seem to do the same thing and she tried again in frustration.

 

His hands left her back and she heard his belt unbuckle. A bit of fear ran through her.

 

“Robb I’m not rea-,” she started.

 

“I know, I’m keeping my boxers on, don’t worry, but I promise you it’s going to feel better this way,” he said and she felt his finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze, “I only want to make you feel good, I’m not going to ask you to do anything other than what you were just doing. Okay? Do you trust me?”

 

She nodded without hesitation, because it was Robb. He undid the button on his shorts and unzipped them, his knuckle brushing against the apex of her thighs. She let out a surprised gasp and his eyes met hers.

 

“You’re so wet,” he told her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said automatically.

 

“Never, and I mean _never_ apologise for that,” he ordered and pulled down his shorts. “You’re supposed to be turned on, El, that’s the whole point. I’m not apologising about this, am I?,” he asked, gesturing to his groin.

 

“Can I?,” she asked.

 

His eyes widened but he nodded and she brought a shaking hand to touch him through his boxers.

 

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected it to feel like, but it wasn’t this. It was hard and thick and warm. She moved her hand up, wondering how far it went and found that it went _quite_ far.

 

“You’re big,” she guessed.

 

“Oh Baratheon, you always know just what to say,” he teased, but his voice sounded tight.

 

“Am I hurting you?,” she wondered, making sure her grip was loose.

 

“What’s the opposite of hurting?,” he asked, but he took her hand and pulled it away, interlacing their fingers. “But where were we?”

 

It was apparently a rhetorical question because he let go of her hand and grabbed her by the back of her thighs, pulling her more firmly against him. He was right, of course he was. It already felt better like this, as his cock pressed against her center.

 

_Robb Stark’s cock is touching me. I’m touching his cock. His hard cock. Which I caused._

 

It was a heady feeling, turning him on. It defied reason. He could have any girl he wanted and he’d never seemed to want one like her, but here he was, wanting _her_.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.

 

“That’s what I’m here for,” he reminded her, “Let me worry about what to do and you just tell me how it feels, alright?”

 

“Okay,” she nodded.

 

His large hands grasped her hips and he pulled her body against his, rolling it. His cock rubbed against her, hitting that bundle of nerves that she sometimes tried to find at night.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” she said.

 

It wasn’t much of an answer but it seemed to be sufficient because he did it again, easing her back and then forward in a longer stroke this time. He brushed against the spot again and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

 

“Tell me, Ella,” he urged, doing it again, faster this time.

 

“Good, _good it feels good_ ,” she told him, gripping his shoulders.

 

He rolled her body, which was pliant and willing under his hands, and she cried out as a rush of pleasure sparked in her, warmth pooling in her stomach.

 

His hands stayed on her waist but he didn’t make another move so she mimicked what he had just done. Another rush of pleasure swept through her so she did it again, this time rubbing herself down the length of his hard cock.

 

“Robb is this…?,” she wondered.

 

“Fuck, El, keep doing that,” he all but whimpered so she did it again, widening her legs so she could get even closer to him.

 

She wanted to crawl inside of him, or him inside of her, either way she wanted to get closer and closer.

 

She felt her body building to something and she wanted to reach out and grab it. She’d neared this before, felt this, as though there was something around a corner that she couldn’t entirely reach. It always retreated though, like the horizon, she could never quite catch it.

 

A shot of worry went through her, not wanting that to happen now and she lost her rhythm.

 

Robb was there though, just like he said, and his hands moved down until he gripped her butt cheeks and rocked her against him again. That delicious feeling was back as he moved her on him again and again. She was climbing, higher and higher, she felt it all the way down in her toes and she scrunched her eyes shut, afraid she’d lose it.

 

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck, “ _Robb_.”

 

“You’re so close, honey,” he assured her and all of a sudden she felt him bucking into her, “ _Fuck_ so am I.”

 

Her head snapped off his shoulder and she looked at him, “You’re going to?”

 

“God yes,” he confirmed, and she moaned as he hit her at a new angle, “I’m going to come with you, Ella. You feel so god damn good.”

 

She looked in his eyes and saw a look she’d never seen before and all at once she climbed so high that she just _popped_ as a wave of pleasure coursed through every inch of her.

 

He gritted and grasped onto her tightly, his cheek falling against her breast as his body shuddered.

 

They were both panting, holding onto one another and she finally understood what all the fuss was about.

 

“ _Mmmmm_ ,” she mumbled, a dopey grin on her face as he fell back against the chair and pulled her with him.

 

“Basically,” he agreed. “Fuck. I’ve never even liked that.”

 

“Why’d you do it then?,” she asked lazily, feeling a delicious weight in her limbs.

 

“Because I knew you would,” he told her simply, as though it was obvious.

 

“You’re a good man, Robb Stark,” she said.

 

“Oh yeah, a real saint,” he chuckled.

 

His fingers were tracing patterns on her back and she wondered if every orgasm would feel like that or if it was just extra powerful because it was her first. He seemed to enjoy his, which gave her some hope that others would live up to this one.

 

He kissed her shoulder, his hand moving up until it was scrunching in her hair, rubbing her head gently.

 

She moved slightly and felt moisture, more than before where their bodies met.

 

“Oh,” she said stupidly, looking down.

 

He did as well and moved her slightly, “Sorry I should um, clean myself up…”

 

“You can hop in my shower if you want,” she offered, “Towels are in the cupboard next to the sink.”

 

“Yeah that’s a good idea,” he agreed and they eased off the chair.

 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and grabbed his shorts and t shirt off the floor. On a whim she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his butt, making him yelp.

 

“See?,” she asked, “It’s alarming.”

 

He chuckled as he padded into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. A few seconds later she heard the shower turn on and she looked down at herself. She wasn’t quite as messy as him but she wasn’t entirely put together either.

 

She pulled down her panties and tossed them to the side and went over to her drawers and pulled out a pair of men’s navy blue and white striped pajamas. They definitely weren’t sexy, but she wanted to be comfortable now. She wanted to feel like herself.

 

The material felt different against her skin though. Softer than usual, like a caress. Everything seemed a little brighter.

 

She went over to her bed and got onto it and all but moaned. It felt more comfortable, the pillows fluffier.

 

She let out a delighted giggle and hugged herself.

 

She heard the shower turn off and a minute later, Robb walked out looking squeaky clean, dressed once again.

 

“You look so cozy,” he said.

 

“I _am_ so cozy,” she agreed. “My bed is so comfortable, I never realised. Come feel, it’s _delicious_.”

 

He grinned and walked over. Rather than go to the other side of the bed though he sat down next to her and pried her legs apart before easing his way in between them.

 

He laid down on top of her with his back against her chest and she let out a chuckle.

 

“Oh you’re right, this _is_ delicious,” he agreed, nuzzling his cheek against hers.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her calves on his thighs.

 

“You smell like me,” she told him.

 

“You smell like me,” he told her.

 

She nuzzled her nose against his temple. He just felt so _nice._ His fingers trailed up and down her thighs, not lasciviously, almost leisurely.

 

Like he had no where else in the world to be.

 

He’d always had that way about him, a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world. When he was with you he never had his cell phone out, he always focused on you.

 

Her chest felt incredibly full, and she was overcome with love for him.

 

Not romantic love, of course, but love all the same.

 

“Does it always feel like that?,” she wondered.

 

“No,” he said, “Only when you really connect with someone.”

 

She liked that he’d felt that too, that tethering.

 

“What does it feel like when you don’t?,” she asked.

 

“Well,” he started and thought about it, “I mean, it can still feel good, really good, but you know how it feels when you come on your own?”

 

“No,” she admitted.

 

His fingers stopped moving on her thighs and he sat up and turned to look at her, “El?”

 

She sighed and smoothed the bedspread beside her.

 

“Did you um… notice when we were, well, _while_ , that I kind of… stopped at one point?,” she asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well I, I could feel it you know, _building_ , and I’ve felt that before when I’ve tried to…,” she trailed off, her cheeks burning.

 

“Touch yourself.”

 

“Right and I always kind of hit a point where I like…”

 

“Lose it?,” he offered.

 

“How did you know?,” she wondered.

 

“Because that’s totally normal,” he assured her, “That happens to a lot of girls. Why do you think I took control?”

 

“I don’t know. But anyway, when that’s happened to me in the past when I’m _touching myself_ I’ve never…pushed past it?,” she confessed.

 

“So that was your first?,” he clarified.

 

“Yes,” she confirmed.

 

“Oh honey,” he sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and rubbing the shell of it. “I wish I’d known. I’d have made it special.”

 

“It felt pretty special to me,” she said stubbornly.

 

He grinned, “Fair enough.”

 

With that he dove back on the pillows next to her and wrapped her in his arms and pulled her so she was lying on top of him. She leaned her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes.

 

“Have you ever tried a vibrator?,” he asked casually after a little while.

 

“What?! No!,” she sputtered in embarrassment. “Who uses those?”

 

“Literally every other girl I’ve ever hooked up with,” he noted.

 

“Oh,” she said, feeling a little stupid, and then yawned.

 

“We’ll talk more tomorrow,” he promised, “You should get some rest. I’ll head out.”

 

She burrowed into him, “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want. Everyone’s gone this weekend.”

 

“Why didn’t you come stay with us?,” he wondered.

 

“I’ll stay over tomorrow night. I’m used to being on my own though, you know that.”

 

“Yeah, yeah I know that,” he agreed, then noted, “This bed really is comfy.”

 

She smiled, “So are you.”

 

He pressed a kiss to her hair, “I’ll stay. It’s too big a house for you to be here on your own.”

 

“You don’t have to,” she assured him.

 

“Can I?,” he asked softly.

 

“Of course you can,” she yawned, making herself nice and comfortable on him, “But I’m not moving.”

 

He wrapped his arms around her more firmly.

 

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you think, xo!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are killing me. This is just smutty smut smut.

_Come over, I’m all alone in my big house…_

 

He looked at the text message. It was tempting, really tempting. Not as tempting as the next one though.

 

_I’m all alone in my big bed…_

 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested. He knew that bed. It was comfortable. There was a beautiful girl lying in it, probably not wearing many clothes, if any.

 

A beautiful girl with light brown hair and clear blue eyes, a laugh that always made you think of sex.

 

 _Are you going to make me beg?_ Margaery Tyrell asked.

 

He could go over there and crawl into bed with her. Crawl inside of her. It would feel good, it always had.

 

Of all the girls he’d dated in high school, she’d always been his favourite.

 

She was beautiful and exciting and cocky in the sexiest way possible. She knew what to do with her body, certainly, what to do with his, and she was clever and warm.

 

He was about to text her back _Yeah, and you’re gonna like it_ because she’d always liked him a bit rough when a pair of jade eyes flashed in his mind.

 

All at once, memories of the night before raced through his mind. Ella in all those sexy get-ups. He should have told her that she didn’t need them, because she didn’t. He’d make sure to tell her that next time, but he couldn’t find it in himself to say no when she’d asked him if he wanted to see the next one. Because he did, of course he did.

 

He couldn’t believe that he’d given her her first orgasm without even realising it. He should have known, she’d tried to tell him. The look on her face was something he’d never forget, all her perfect features contorted in pleasure.

 

Everything about her was soft, innocent, playful and yet his body reacted to her more strongly than any of the confident, sexy girls he’d been with in the past.

 

_Does it always feel like that?_

 

How was he supposed to tell her that it had never felt like that? That he’d connected more with her _dry-humping_ than any girl he’d ever been inside of?

 

Even still he couldn’t lie to her. _No, only when you really connect with someone_ , which he figured must be true enough.

 

It was just because they knew each other so well. He’d cared about her more than he cared about any of those other girls long before they started hooking up. She was Ella, _his_ Ella. Of course they connected, they always had.

 

It occurred to him that this probably hadn’t occurred to her. She’d never hooked up with someone else, so she didn’t know that what happened last night was the exception.

 

 _Though she might after tonight_.

 

Her and Sansa were on a double date currently with Trystane and Harry. They’d come to pick them up as he and his family were sitting down to dinner, all _Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Stark_ as though they were gentlemen. He’d played that game, shaking Walder Frey’s hand one moment and then fucking Roslin in his sports car the next. He knew that game well.

 

Ella had looked beautiful wearing a white top that tied at her impossibly tiny waist, a pair of loose jeans and a strappy pair of heels and Trystane, who was usually too smooth for his own good, stumbled all over himself to tell her so. She’d accepted his reverence kindly, and had walked off the terrace with his hand on the small of her back.

 

He hadn’t expected her to look back at him, but he watched her go anyway, and when she’d turned back to look at him he tried to give her a smile but he was pretty sure it came out as a grimace.

 

He pressed send on his text to Margaery.

 

He ran upstairs and brushed his teeth and rolled on some deodorant. He grabbed the keys to his truck off his bedside table and was clomping down the back stairs when he heard arguing in the front hall.

 

He turned the corner and was surprised to see that it was Sansa and Ella. They never argued. He looked at his phone, it was only 8:45, pretty early as far as dates went.

 

“Sansa, please don’t be upset,” Ella pleaded.

 

“Just leave me alone, Ella,” Sansa pleaded right back.

 

They both sounded on the verge of tears and his heart hurt hearing it.

 

“I’m just looking out for you,” Ella said softly.

 

“Yeah well _stop_ ,” Sansa demanded and with that she ran up the front stairs.

 

He walked around the corner and found Ella sitting on the floor with his dog Grey Wind’s head in her lap. She was petting him glumly, looking at him as though he might hold the secrets of the universe inside his big fluffy head, and he was looking up at her like if he knew what a universe was, she’d be at the center of his.

 

“Hi honey,” he said softly. Ella looked up at him and there were tears in her eyes. “Bad date?”

 

She let out a cry-laugh and nodded, “Yeah, Wolf, you could say that.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he told her honestly, “I was heading out but I can cancel - we can watch a movie or something.”

 

She shook her head, “No, I don’t want to ruin your plans. I don’t think Sansa wants me staying over anyway.”

 

_Maybe not, but everyone else here does._

 

That was the thing about Ella. She didn’t just belong to Sansa, she belonged to all of them.

 

“Come on, I’ll drive you,” he told her.

 

“You don’t mind?,” she asked.

 

He shook his head and she leaned down and kissed Grey Wind’s forehead and got up. His dog glared at him but Ella walked over to him and leaned her face against his arm.

 

“I hate boys,” she said.

 

“Me too,” he agreed and she giggled against his bicep. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Seriously we’re the worst.”

 

She tilted her head back and looked at him, smiling sadly and he wondered what exactly had happened. It couldn’t have been too bad if she was laughing, which gave him some comfort.

 

He lead her out to his truck and pulled out of his long driveway.

 

“Harry’s such a _douche_ ,” she grumbled.

 

“What’d he do to her?,” he growled.

 

“Nothing,” she said and then placed her hand on his forearm, “Nothing, okay? He just… he’s such an…”

 

“Operator,” Robb finished for her.

 

“Yes!,” she agreed, “You should hear the things he says to her. You’d think they were Pyramus and Thisbe for godsake.”

 

“That’s why I love you El, your insults are always so intellectual,” he teased and she chuckled.

 

“But he says all these things to her,” she went on, not bothering to elaborate because he could imagine, “ _Meanwhile_ his phone is _blowing_ up with other girls. And not unsolicited either. These are _conversations_. Some of which he initiated.”

 

“You read his text messages?,” he asked.

 

She shrugged, “The dumbass asked me to DJ, what’d he expect I’d do with his phone when he’s trying to date my best friend?”

 

He chuckled, because fair enough. She was the sweetest girl he knew but absolutely lethal when it came to protecting the people she loved.

 

“So what happened?,” he wondered, because he wasn’t sure how this had lead to Sansa being mad at Ella.

 

“Well,” she sighed, “I tried to get Sansa to leave without, you know, making a scene, because Harry was like _really_ trying it with her and I didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret, but that turned into a discussion which of course Harry Fucking Hardyng thought he should be a part of. I told him to stay out of it and then he told _me_ to stay out of it which prompted me to act in a totally dignified manner obviously and anyway Sansa got pissed at me.”

 

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing but couldn’t but ask, “What um, constitutes a totally dignified manner?”

 

“I showed Sansa screenshots of the conversations,” she muttered.

 

“You took screenshots?!,” he practically screeched.

 

“And airdropped them to myself,” she confirmed.

 

He chuckled, “Fuck you’re good.”

 

“And don’t you forget it,” she teased but then banged her head against the head rest, “I wasn’t trying to embarrass her, but I did, I guess. I just know that he would have weaselled his way out of it somehow if I didn’t show her proof - he… she’s so smart but…”

 

“He preys on her innocence,” he finished for her.

 

“Yeah,” she agreed, “Just like you said would happen to me. I think she thinks that I feel superior or something, you know, in the situation with Trystane but I don’t. I just don’t care as much as she does.”

 

He ignored the relief that flooded through his body at that and said, “I thought you guys were um, heading in that direction… after prom and everything.”

 

“What’s the point?,” she wondered, “He’s nice and all, he’s a great date and he’s really kind and handsome and everything, but he’s heading to Dorne for school and I’m off to The Vale. I don’t think I feel strongly enough for him to want to do long distance, so what’s the point of falling for him now?”

 

“Do you think you could? Fall for him, I mean?,” he asked.

 

“Honestly, I think that if I could really fall for him none of that practical stuff would make a bit of difference, you know?,” she mused.

 

“I know,” he confirmed.

 

He pulled into her driveway and parked his truck. The house was dark. It was so big and cold looking, the complete opposite of the girl that called it home.

 

He turned towards her, “Sansa will get over it. And for what it’s worth, thank you. She’s lucky to have you looking out for her.”

 

“Says the boy who is already plotting the different ways of mutilating Harry Hardyng,” she teased.

 

She was absolutely right. He’d never liked Harry and had been hugely annoyed when he’d found out he was taking Sansa to prom. Harry had dated Jeyne Westerling after him his junior year and had done exactly the same thing to her, promising her the moon while he was fucking anything in a skirt. He’d tried to warn Sansa but Harry was smart, preying on a girl’s desire to be _different_ from the rest.

 

It was the oldest trick in the book for a reason. It worked.

 

No one else he knew of had ever been stupid enough to try it on Sansa though. It served to reason that Harry would be the first.

 

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” he joked and she smiled.

 

“I’m going to watch a movie, wanna join?,” she asked him and before he could answer her brow furrowed, “Never mind! You were heading out, weren’t you?”

 

“Oh um…,” he started, thinking of Margaery Tyrell in bed waiting for him. He looked at Ella, who was looking at him like he’d lost all sense. Maybe he had. “I’d like that, actually.”

 

“Really?,” she asked and he nodded. Her face broke into an irresistible smile, “Great! What are you in the mood to watch?,” she asked as she got out of the truck.

 

They debated the merits of horror vs comedy all the way into her house and up the stairs to her bedroom.

 

He sent Marg a _sorry, something came up_ text as Ella went to her drawers. She pulled out a pair of white silk pajamas.

 

“I’m going to change, go grab something from Tommen’s room,” she urged.

 

“Oh that’s okay,” he shook his head.

 

She rolled her eyes, “But you have to be cozy.”

 

“Oh I _have_ to, do I?,” he challenged.

 

She grinned, “Yes. Go _on_ , definitely don’t go into Joff’s room though - the police are still investigating.”

 

He burst out laughing because honestly he wouldn’t be surprised if Joffrey’s bedroom was being investigated by the police. He was, without a doubt, one of the worst people he’d ever met in his entire life. He’d been shoved together with him the way Ella and Sansa were, to much different results. They loathed one another.

 

Ella had developed a way of dealing with him over the years, but there was nothing that confirmed Joffrey’s evil more than the way he treated his sister. Robb couldn’t imagine not loving one of his siblings, but Joffrey hated her in a way that was frightening.

 

He wandered down the hall to Tommen’s room - who was Joffrey’s antithesis in everything except looks - and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. He changed into them in there, and he had to admit he was more comfortable.

 

He went back into Ella’s room to find her dressed in the silk pajamas. He tried not to imagine what she had on underneath, tried not to hope that it was nothing.

 

“Can we watch Animal House?,” she asked.

 

“ _Toga, toga, toga,_ ” he answered and she grinned as she selected it.

 

“Want to do a face mask?,” she asked, picking something off of her vanity.

 

“No,” he scoffed, “I know we look alike but I’m actually _not_ Sansa.”

 

She giggled and said, “Come on, Wolf, just smell it…”

 

With that she brought it over and unscrewed the cap and held it under his nose. It did smell nice, though what it smelled like he couldn’t really say.

 

“No,” he repeated.

 

“But it’s anti-aging!,” she teased with a grin.

 

“I’m nineteen,” he pointed out.

 

“And with this, you might look like it again,” she said solemnly, though a small smile was teasing at the corners of her lips.

 

“You little shit,” he said, tackling her back onto the bed. She let out a surprised squeal and he started tickling her, “Take it back.”

 

“Never!,” she argued, trying to wiggle away.

 

“Tell me I’m pretty,” he ordered, getting her behind the knee where she was most ticklish.

 

She yelped but cooed at him, “You were the prettiest debutante of your _dayyy_.”

 

He was straddling her, and he looked down at her. There was a flush on her cheeks and a brightness in her eyes, her hands locked above her head where he held her wrists in one of his hands.

 

Her eyes met his and she gave him a challenging look as though she knew exactly what he was thinking.

 

He loosened his grip on her wrists slightly and leaned in closer to her.

 

“Did you kiss Trystane tonight, Ella?,” he asked.

 

Her brow furrowed, “Of course not, I kissed you this morning.”

 

A pang of guilt throbbed in his chest. He’d woken up this morning with Ella in his arms, their limbs tangled together like vines. To his surprise it had felt totally normal, he’d made them smoothies as she showered and they’d drank them on her terrace, talking about his family’s July 4th party coming up and who she thought Arya’s mystery man might be. He’d gone to kiss her goodbye, because it felt natural to, and her lips had tasted like berries and mint toothpaste and he’d pulled her against him and kissed her for a while longer.

 

It would never occur to Ella that she could kiss two boys in the same day, but considering that he’d kissed two girls at the same time before it didn’t really feel that strange to him. It should have, though. And she had a right to know that.

 

“I um… I was going to go over to Margaery’s tonight,” he told her. “I … probably would have kissed her. Probably would have done more than kiss her, honestly. I don’t know if you want to know that kind of stuff but… you’re right, I shouldn’t do that.”

 

“Oh, no I mean… you can do whatever you want. I just… I’m not comfortable with it for _me_. And I guess, well I guess I wouldn’t want to kiss you after you’d kissed someone else that day. But, what we’re doing shouldn’t hold you back from anything else. I know what this is,” she told him pragmatically, and gave him a sad smile, “Sorry I interfered with your night with the _goddess_. _”_

 

“Do I seem upset about where I am?,” he challenged, releasing her hands and resting both of his forearms on the bed, boxing her in.

 

She shook her head, and reached a small hand up and stroked his face, “No, but that’s always been a talent of yours.”

 

“What has?,” he wondered, momentarily distracted by her edible wrist.

 

Her knuckle trailed under his chin and he felt warmth coursing through his veins.

 

“You always make everyone feel like they are the most important person on earth,” she told him.

 

He thought about that. It was a nice compliment and all, but he just wasn’t entirely sure that it was true. He’d been accused by multiple girls of having a wandering eye, or being _distant_. He didn’t try to be, it just kind of happened.

 

He could understand why she felt that way though. She _was_ one of the most important people in his world. Maybe the most after his family.

 

“I’m exactly where I want to be, Ella,” he said, because he didn’t want to lie to her but he wasn’t sure he wanted to keep the conversation going either.

 

“So were you just curious?,” she asked.

 

“About?,” he wondered.

 

“Whether I’d kissed Trystane,” she clarified, “Were you just curious or… was there another reason?”

 

He grinned and leaned down and pressed a kiss to her neck, moving his lips up to her ear, “What kind of reason?”

 

He let his teeth graze the shell of her ear and she shivered beneath him, and told him in a breathy voice, “That kind of reason.”

 

“ _Hmmm_ ,” he pretended to ponder, pressing a light kiss to her temple.

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she whined, “Are you going to make me beg for it?”

 

 _Yeah, and you’re gonna like it_ he had said to a different girl this evening.

 

But Ella wasn’t Margaery.

 

He leaned down and took her lips in his. She kissed him back slowly, softly. If she had been Margaery, or any other girl, they’d be naked by now, devouring one another. Soft and slow wasn’t really his thing.

 

Or he hadn’t thought that it was.

 

Now though he sank into her, her tongue gliding against his gently. Her fingers stroked his hair, not gripping it in desperation but just in a purposeful, comforting way.

 

He moved his hand under the hem of her pajama shirt, his fingers trailing up and down her waist lazily. Her skin was so smooth and warm, her slenderness making the slight curves captivating.

 

Her skin was littered in goosebumps now and he smoothed his hand over her abdomen trying to warm her up. She shivered even more.

 

“Do you want to get under the covers?,” he asked.

 

“I don’t think that will help,” she said and kissed him once more.

 

It was deeper this time, more playful though too, more confident. She pulled at the hem of his t shirt and he helped her pull it off of him.

 

She ran her hands up his abdomen to his chest and it was his turn to shiver. She smiled at him and he felt her nudging him. He looked down at her and she raised her brows.

 

He knew what she wanted so he fell back on the bed on his back. She rolled on her side and trailed her fingers down his abs like she was strumming a guitar, as she pressed a kiss to his chest.

 

She pressed another and another, getting up on her knees and straddling him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and licked and nipped one of his pecks.

 

“ _Fuck Ella_ ,” he groaned.

 

She looked up at him, meeting his gaze with those jadeite eyes as she pressed another kiss to his breastbone. He hissed as though he’d been scalded and she ran her hands down his shoulders and when her fingers got to his chest she grazed her nails down them.

 

“ _Fuck Ella_ ,” he repeated, but it came out as a whimper.

 

There was wildfire in her eyes as she kissed down his ribs and his abs.

 

“I want to touch you, Robb,” she told him quietly.

 

He was already hard as a rock, how could he not be, and his vision had gone a little blurry.

 

“You don’t have to,” he managed.

 

He felt her hand wander down him further, and then she was cupping him through the sweatpants. He closed his eyes in pleasure.

 

“But I want to,” she said.

 

She released him and her hand moved back up his body. She cupped his cheek and he opened his eyes as she tilted his head towards her. The beauty mark under her left eye was winking at him.

 

“I want to make you come again,” she told him earnestly, and as though it were some big favour asked, “Will you show me how?”

 

His mouth was dry and he couldn’t speak so he merely nodded.

 

“Will you take these off?,” she asked, “I mean, do you mind?”

 

There were a million retorts he could give her but she was genuinely asking, so he wouldn’t tease her. He pulled the sweatpants off of him, kicking them off the bed and looked her in the eyes.

 

Meaningfully he let his eyes wander down his body to his hard cock, giving her permission to look as well. As he felt her eyes travel down his body, his trailed back up hers. Her eyes widened as they rested on his cock, standing hard and proud for her.

 

“What do I do?,” she asked.

 

He had never been more grateful that he’d offered this than he was in this moment. And it wasn’t because she was eager to make him come, though he was pretty damn happy about that too. But he could only imagine what another guy might say if she asked him that. And though there were a countless number of filthy things he wanted to do to her magnificent body, and an equal amount of things he wanted her to do his, he’d be careful not to push too hard. Which was challenging.

 

Even for him, who loved her dearly.

 

“Do you have any lotion?,” he asked.

 

She nodded and straddled him once again reaching over to reach into the drawer of her nightstand. Her pajama top rose up and exposed her newly tan stomach to him and he pressed a kiss to it.

 

She had proffered the lotion and straightened back up but he held her steady, lifting her pajama top and pulling her against his lips. He pulled her up, until she was all but standing on the bed though she was supporting none of her weight, and kissed her belly button and then lower and he swore he could smell her arousal.

 

He wanted her pajama bottoms off, he wanted to taste her, but he knew she wasn’t ready for that yet.

 

She let him pull up her pajama top though and he kissed her ribs and underneath one of her soft breasts, his hands moving down and grabbing her perfect ass.

 

“ _Robb, Robb, stop, stop, stop_ ,” she pleaded.

 

“Sorry,” he said, lowering her again. He confessed, “Your body is distracting.”

 

She grinned, a blush covering her dimple, “So is yours.”

 

She pushed him gently backwards and undid the cap on the lotion. She squirted a little bit on her hand and rubbed them together.

 

“What do I do?,” she asked.

 

“Start by doing what you think you should do,” he urged.

 

All of her instincts had been spot on so far.

 

She reached a tentative hand down his body, and all the blood was not already there rushed straight to his cock. He felt her hand wrap around him softly, the lotion making it glide up him.

 

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, forcing himself to keep his hips on the bed. She moved her hand down until it was at the base of his cock and then rubbed back up.

 

“How’s that?,” she wondered.

 

“Good,” he managed.

 

“You’re so hard,” she said in wonder.

 

“You’re really hot,” he pointed out.

 

She giggled once and then focused, rubbing up and down his length slowly.

 

“A little tighter,” he said as gently as possible.

 

He felt her hand tighten around him and he moaned in pleasure.

 

“What else?,” she asked eagerly.

 

“A little faster,” he pleaded uselessly, because he wasn’t going to last very long anyway.

 

She started rubbing him faster and he saw stars, her slick hand making obscene noises.

 

“My… my balls,” he said weakly.

 

“I should touch them?,” she asked.

 

“Gently,” he sputtered in pleasure as she kneaded his cock, rubbing him up and down the whole time.

 

She lowered her other hand to his balls but lost her rhythm on his cock. She sighed in frustration and he was about to tell her not to bother, that what she was doing was enough, more than enough, so fucking good, when she hooked one leg over him so she was sitting on his stomach.

 

She massaged his balls gently as she took up her rhythm on his cock once again. Her golden hair was lifting off her back as she sped up again and again, without him having to say a thing.

 

He reached around her and grabbed hold of her breasts. She let out a moan and he squeezed them gently, holding on for dear life as he barrelled towards an orgasm.

 

“Fuck, El I’m going to come, fuck don’t stop fuck, _fuck fuck fuckkkkk_ ,” he grunted as he felt his cock release in spurts.

 

He found the strength to grab a tissue off her bedside table and hand it to her, and he was vaguely aware that she was wiping her hands off.

 

He caught his breath, and looked at her. She looked so fucking hot in her prissy white pajama pants, her slender back completely bare, her golden hair splayed over it. He took her by the hips and moved her forwards so that he could sit up.

 

He moved her hair to the side and pressed a kiss in between her shoulder blades. He trailed his lips up her back to her shoulder and felt her lean her head back against him, exposing her neck to him. He sucked on it gently, his hands moving up her waist and to her abdomen.

 

When he moved them up to cup her breasts he found her nipples already peaked and groaned against her neck. The shallow weight of her head and the softness of her hair were a dizzying combination against his shoulder, and he rolled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.

 

She let out moan that he felt right in his cock, sparking it back to life already.

 

He moved one of his hands up her further, the other crossing her chest and grabbing her other breast, and he grabbed hold of her neck gently. She let out a gasp and he grinned against her temple.

 

She didn’t know it yet, but she was going to like it a little rough.

 

There was time for that though, plenty of time and he pressed gentle kisses to her cheekbone, holding her neck tenderly.

 

“ _Touch me_ ,” she whispered.

 

His eyes opened and he took in the picture before him. Myrcella Baratheon, straddling his lap, every inch of her open and submissive to him. It beckoned the animal in him, but it tempered him too.

 

Trust like that from a girl like her was no little thing.

 

“I am touching you,” he said in her ear, because it was only two days earlier that she’d told him she wasn’t ready.

 

“ _Robb please_ ,” she begged.

 

He was hard as a rock now, but that didn’t matter.

 

He took hold of her waist and he moved them back on the bed, and he pulled her back against his chest, lowering her legs down so that he was supporting her completely.

 

“I’m going to make you come, Ella,” he promised in her ear, “And I don’t care how long it takes, okay? So just relax and tell me if it doesn’t feel alright.”

 

He had seen it last night, her frustration with herself. It was the worst thing to feel, making all the pleasure disappear, putting too much pressure on herself.

 

She nodded against him, and he felt the weight on top of him deepen slightly as she relaxed against him.

 

He moved his hands up her body and pressed two fingers against her lower lip, “Suck,” he ordered.

 

He didn’t, couldn’t, think about how quickly she listened to him. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, think about her hot wet mouth surrounding his fingers, the tip of her tongue swiping against the pad of his fingers.

 

He dragged his fingers out of her mouth because there was only so much a guy could take and he lifted the waistband of her pajama pants with his other hand and trailed his fingers down to the apex of her thighs.

 

He groaned as his fingers slid against her. He needn’tve had her suck at all, she was already dripping.

 

_I’m touching Ella Baratheon’s cunt. She’s so wet. For me._

 

It was a heady feeling, turning her on, and his fingers were greedy as they wandered over her. She was soft and smooth and warm, and wet, so wet.

 

She let out a broken breath as his finger slipped inside of her briefly and he focused once again. He cupped her, kneading her gently with his fingers, the heal of his palm pressing gently against the part of her protecting that most sensitive bit. She gasped, her hips rising against him. He rolled the heal of his palm in a small circle and she let out a soft moan.

 

His hand hit against the fabric of her pajamas and he didn’t think, he just pulled them down with the other hand. He felt her bare ass against his cock and he groaned. Every inch of her was on him and she felt so good.

 

He tilted her chin up and kissed her as he parted her folds and found her pearl. She moaned in his mouth as he circled it with his finger.

 

He sucked on her bottom lip as he slipped two fingers inside of her. He bit her accidentally when he realised how tight she was and she jumped.

 

“Sorry,” he whispered against her lips, kissing her softly in apology.

 

He pulled one finger away and entered her with just one. She was resisting him and he brought his other hand back down her body and squeezed her breast gently. He got all the way in to the knuckle.

 

He moved his finger in and out of her, his palm against her clit.

 

“You feel so good, Ella,” he told her, “So perfect, of course you are, how could you not be?”

 

She opened up like a flower for him and he slipped another finger inside, groaning when he felt it.

 

“Do you like hearing that?,” he asked, wondering if she had a praise kink.

 

She shook her head and corrected, “Your voice… it’s…talk _oh god Robb…”_

 

He started to move his fingers in and out of her more purposefully, his palm rotating over her clit all the while.

 

“I’ll talk to you, honey, if that’s what you want,” he promised, “I could touch you all night just to hear you say my name like that.” She rocked her hips against him, “That’s it, El, show me what you like, I’m gonna do whatever you want. Anything to make you come, you’re so fucking pretty when you come.”

 

She rocked her hips against him again and he replaced his palm with his thumb, pressing against her clit again and again.

 

“ _Robb!_ ,” she moaned.

 

He squeezed her breast, “Fuck just like that El, that’s how I like to hear my name on your lips. You drive me crazy, d’you know that? I’ve been thinking about this cunt of yours every second these past couple days.”

 

“ _Robb, Robb, I’m going to, oh god,”_ she cried out.

 

He could feel her, tightening around his fingers, “That’s it El, you’re so close, you like me touching you, hmm? I like it when you touch me too, so fucking hot, oh there it is, I can feel it, can you?,” he asked and she nodded against his lips, he grinned, “Come for me, honey, come on my fingers, you’re so close, there you go, just like - _oh Ella_.”

 

She came with his name on her lips. He felt her walls tighten and spasm and he rubbed his cock against her ass to give himself some relief because all he wanted in that moment was to shove inside of her and make her come on his cock like she’d just come on his fingers.

 

She slumped back against him and he eased back on the pillows, laying down a bit more and holding her to him.

 

“Good lord,” she sighed and he chuckled.

 

She rolled off of him dramatically, landing on her stomach. She looked so deliciously rumpled, and he allowed his eyes to move down her body. Her butt was just as glorious as he expected it would be.

 

Even though he’d seen almost every part of her naked individually, there was nothing like seeing the whole thing.

 

“I think maybe this was a mistake,” she said and his eyes snapped up to hers. She gave him a rueful smile though and said, “You’ll spoil me for other boys.”

 

He grinned and got on his hands and knees. He pressed a kiss to the small of her back, his hand rubbing up and down her thigh.

 

He rubbed it up and over her butt and her back, and gripped her shoulder gently and turned her over. She flopped like a ragdoll and he leaned down and kissed her pretty pink lips.

 

“My evil plan has worked perfectly then,” he teased.

 

She giggled, “Trying to keep me all to yourself?”

 

He sighed and lay down on his side next to her. She turned towards him, laying her cheek on the pillow as well.

 

“What’s going on in this mind of yours, Wolf?,” she wondered.

 

“You’re not mine,” he told her.

 

“I know, I was just teasing,” she promised.

 

“But when we’re like this,” he went on, “It _feels_ like you are.”

 

Her eyes widened and she nodded, “I know. What does it mean?”

 

“I don’t know,” he told her honestly.

 

“It feels good though, doesn’t it?,” she wondered.

 

“Yeah, it does,” he agreed.

 

She went silent and he could tell her mind was working it over. He trailed his fingers up and down her spine, and she traced circles on his bicep.

 

“Maybe it’s okay,” she mused after a little while. “Because in a way, you’ve always belonged to me, and I’ve always belonged to you. Haven’t I?” He’d thought it just earlier tonight, that she’d belonged to him just as much as she did to Sansa. She always had. So he nodded. “So maybe it’s okay,” she suggested in a small voice, “For us to belong to each other like this for a little while.”

 

“Yeah, honey, maybe it’s okay,” he confirmed.

 

It was the first time in eighteen years that he lied to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will speed up time wise, but bc I mentioned the date with Trystane and Harry I wanted to have this chapter now.
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this one, but I hope you like it anyway

 

Summer was moving too quickly.

 

It always did, living in the North. They waited for it all year, for the snows to melt and the winds to die down. In summer, their home was like a different world. Lush and easy and warm.

 

Every year it went by too fast. By August the leaves would already be turning and people would start taking their boats out of the water.

 

This year it seemed particularly so, with them all barrelling towards the future at top speed.

 

Everyone felt it, she could tell. People stayed at parties later and at the beach longer. Nights people might have chosen to stay home, now everyone went out. Fights that might have lasted weeks were resolved in a matter of hours.

 

They were growing up, it seemed, whether they wanted to or not.

 

It was mid-July, and her tan was deep, her limbs especially sinewy from hours outdoors playing tennis and volleyball on the beach, from waterskiing and horseback riding.

 

They weren’t adults entirely, because her entire class, and the one above it, were in a weeks long water balloon fight. You weren’t safe anywhere, all around the lake you could hear yelps and laughter following it at all hours of the day and night.

 

Her mother hadn’t found it funny when Willem Bracken had exploded one over her head at the yacht club last week, even less so when she’d chased him around the deck to the hoots and hollers of the other members.

 

Family dinners lasted longer now, not hers, of course, but the Stark’s. She’d noticed it last summer with Robb, how he had lingered over dessert with everyone when even a summer before he would have been scarfing down his food and racing off.

 

The kids all knew what it was to lose one of their pack now, and this fall they’d be losing two. Three, if they counted her, which they always seemed to.

 

Every day new items arrived from across the Narrow Sea for school. It was her mother’s way of showing her she was loved, though new couture dresses didn’t feel particularly suitable to fraternity parties in the Vale. Their housekeeper/her nanny Eglantine folded each new one with tissue paper, sighing, and then the next day something practical like a new pair of mittens would arrive and get packed next to silk. Her only comfort was that it was surely being paid for by the card her mother gave Eglantine for household necessities.

 

She tried to insist that she could pack on her own but she was always quickly rebuffed, Eglantine saying _If I don’t do it I’m just going to be wondering about it._

 

She spent most of her days with Sansa. They included their other friends, of course, but some nights one of them would turn to the other and say _let’s have a just us day tomorrow_. Every time she thought of saying goodbye to her she had to fight off tears, and they’d already planned out every time they’d see one another during their first semester.

 

It wasn’t just fear of missing her that infected their time together though. There was the lie, the lie that felt bigger and bigger every day. Sansa still didn’t know about her and Robb, but it became clearer and clearer that he had been right. She wouldn’t understand what was going on between them.

 

How could she, when Ella didn’t understand it herself?

 

He, apart from Sansa, was the one she spent most of her time with. This didn’t raise any eyebrows, as it had always been that way. She knew his family thought he was seeing someone though, for he spent long stretches staying over at her house, returning only to his own for a change of clothes and meals.

 

It wasn’t like they were having sex all the time. They weren’t having sex at all, in fact.

 

They went sailing with Theon and Sansa and played mixed doubles with them at the club. On particularly hot days they’d buy tickets to three movies in a row and sit in the cold dark and eat too much popcorn and talk all the way through the movies as they were usually the only ones there.

 

At night, more often than not, he’d show her something new. She was sure none of it was particularly groundbreaking, but it certainly felt that way to her, when he found a new part of her to kiss - the crook of her elbow, his teeth on her heel. Sometimes though, he’d just walk her home after parties and they’d fall into bed, one or the other too tipsy to do much of anything except press laughing kisses to the other’s lips.

 

She was sure that on some nights when he wasn’t with her he found his way into some other girl’s bed, that was just the way he’d always been and she wouldn’t ruin the time they were together by wondering what he was doing when they weren’t.

 

Trystane had kissed her a couple weeks back, and it had felt nice and new. He’d been nervous, which was sweet because he was no blushing virgin, but when he’d tried to go further she hadn’t craved his hands so she’d asked him to stop. Just the way Robb would have wanted her to, because he was right.

 

She didn’t own Trystane Martell a damn thing.

 

Robb had come in through her balcony that night and she’d stopped him when he went to kiss her.

 

 _This is a first_ , he teased.

 

 _I kissed Trystane,_ she told him.

 

 _Where?_ , he asked her.

 

_At Jeyne’s house._

 

He had smirked at her and asked, _Where did he kiss_ you _, Ella?_

 

 _Oh,_ she laughed, _My lips, of course._

 

 _Ah,_ he nodded, as though this was very interesting information. _Then I will just have to find somewhere else to kiss…_

 

With that he’d knelt before her and undone the strings of her pajamas, pulling them down her legs. He’d looked up at her and asked, _Won’t I?_

 

She’d nodded, tears on her eyelashes as she felt his lips press to her center. He’d lapped at her leisurely, his tongue wandering over her as though she were a new continent he was intent on exploring.

 

He’d carried her to bed when he was finished and laid her down. When he asked her _Did Trystane kiss you like that?_ she didn’t tell him that he sounded rather jealous.

 

She wondered if they’d continue this at school. It would be even easier then, no family dinners, no one to wonder where they’d disappeared to.

 

Maybe there was a sorority girl with brown hair and curves waiting for him though. Maybe that girl was just exactly his type and he wouldn’t have time to dally with her anymore.

 

Not that he ever made her feel like that’s what they were doing, but just like she’d told him, that had always been a talent of his.

 

He was gifted, truly he must be, because some nights when he held her it felt like he never wanted to let her go.

 

*

 

The parking lot was crowded, bustling with activity. She made her way through as quickly as possible, waving to old campers of hers who were now CITs and their parents who’d all tipped her generously at the end of the summer.

 

She found her way towards the group of children still waiting to be picked up, and all of a sudden tan, slender limbs were wrapped around her completely.

 

“ _Oof_ ,” she chuckled, all but falling to the ground from the force of both Shireen and Rickon leaping at her.

 

The pair had been fast friends after she’d first requested it, and though Rickon had gotten in more than one fight with one bully or another teasing Shireen, for the most part his friendship protected her.

 

Shireen had become the light of his little life, and some nights at dinner he’d say something like _Did you know that some horses like peanut butter?_ and everyone would remark that they didn’t, except for her, who had been the one to prove it to Shireen in the first place.

 

“Hi little one,” she said, stroking Rickon’s soft curls, so like his eldest brother’s. And then turned to Shireen and pressed a kiss to her scar, “How’s my girl?”

 

“Good!,” they both answered and then started talking over one another trying to tell her about their day.

 

She waved to their counselor and took both of their hands as she walked them through the parking lot. Rickon insisted that he was old enough not to need to hold someone’s hand, but then he interlaced their fingers anyway saying _but I don’t mind Lella_.

 

She got them settled in her convertible, though she rummaged in Shireen’s backpack and made her pull on her hat because her face was looking pink.

 

“So,” she said as she pulled out of the parking lot, “I’m craving some black raspberry ice cream. Do you guys mind if we stop for some?”

 

Their cheers brought a grin to her face and she started driving them through their small town. She was committing it all to memory, the way the kids sang along to oldies and the people walking their dogs, the warm summer breeze and the shopkeepers that waved to her as she drove by.

 

She found a spot in front of the ice cream shop and let the kids out of the car. They raced in, already debating the merits of mint chocolate chip vs rocky road and she waved to Pop.

 

“Oh boy, the cavalry’s here,” he grinned at her, “What’ll it be kids?”

 

“May I please have a scoop of coffee-oreo, in a cup please, Pop?,” Shireen asked him politely.

 

He grinned at her and nodded and then turned to Rickon.

 

“Can I haaaaaaave a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of mint chocolate chip in a cone, please?,” Rickon asked.

 

“And a cup on the side!,” she piped up and Pop chuckled and nodded.

 

“And your usual, Miss Myrcella?,” he asked her and she grinned at him, ignoring the pang in her stomach. She was getting sentimental abut all kinds of things these days. “Why don’t you kids take a seat and I’ll bring these over to you.”

 

She thanked him and followed Rickon and Shireen over to a table in the corner that looked out over the street. Shireen was pointing to a dog and Rickon asked her what she thought its name was, which prompted a very large discussion about whether it was a boy or girl dog and why girls and boys had different names anyhow.

 

She listened, stirring the pot occasionally, and took out her phone. She had a text from Robb.

 

_Hey, where are you?_

 

_Pop’s with Shireen and Rickon._

 

_Be right there._

 

She’d seen him just that morning. He’d stayed over last night even though she had her period and wasn’t in the mood to do much of anything except eat cupcakes and watch old movies. He’d eaten four to her two and asked her questions all through How To Steal a Million, grinning at her when her hormones finally made her smack him with a pillow to shut him up.

 

Even still, she was looking forward to him coming and knew the kids would be too.

 

Pop brought over their ice creams on a little tray, setting the correct one down in front of each of them.

 

“Hey Pop, sorry about this but can I also please have two scoops of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge?,” she asked.

 

“Robb joining you?,” he asked and she nodded.

 

The kids let out a cheer and Pop went to go fix the last ice cream. A minute later Robb walked in.

 

“Robby! Over here!,” Rickon called excitedly.

 

He looked gorgeous, in a light blue t shirt and navy blue shorts, his hair wet either from the lake or the shower. He grinned when he saw them all and high fived Rickon.

 

“How’s my best girl?,” he asked Shireen, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to her scar.

 

“I’m good, sit sit sit we just ordered for you,” Shireen told him excitedly.

 

She loved Robb dearly, always had. He’d worked for her father, Ella’s uncle, one summer and Shireen had kept him company every day as he filed and wrote proposals. It shouldn’t have been much fun for her, but she talked about it like it was a great adventure.

 

Knowing Robb, he’d made it one.

 

“You didn’t say hi to Lella,” Rickon reprimanded sternly.

 

“Hi _Lella_ ,” Robb grinned down at her.

 

“Now kiss her!,” Shireen ordered gleefully.

 

She opened her mouth to protest but he wrapped his arms around her from behind, just like he’d done to Shireen and smacked a smattering of kisses on her cheek until she was giggling like she was no older than the kids.

 

With that he finally took the seat next to her, praising Pop as he brought over his ice cream and handing him a twenty before she could reach for her wallet.

 

She opened her mouth in horror at him and he stuck out his tongue at her, chuckling when she kicked his shin under the table.

 

“So who jumped off the pier today?,” he asked them.

 

“MEEEE,” both Shireen and Rickon exulted.

 

She grinned over at them but her smiled dropped when she really looked at Shireen. She pushed some hair off her face and tilted her chin upwards.

 

“Shy you’ve gotten too much sun,” she reprimanded gently, “You’ve got to be better about putting sunblock on after swimming. This skin of yours is too beautiful to damage.”

 

“It’s already damaged,” Shireen said glumly.

 

“No it isn’t,” she argued, “It’s perfect and I want it to stay that way.” She felt Robb’s hand on her knee, telling her to take it down a notch and she sighed. “I just want you to be healthy, okay, Shy? So wear some sunblock for meeee, pretty pretty please.”

 

“I ran out,” Shireen told her.

 

“When?,” she asked, realising that she hadn’t seen any in her backpack.

 

“Monday,” Shireen told her.

 

It was Friday. Her piece of shit aunt and uncle had let their daughter go to camp every day for a week without sunblock to protect her. They should know that she had to be extra careful. Her scar made her more susceptible to sun damage, and she really should be wearing a hat whenever she was in the sun.

 

“We’ll go to the pharmacy and get you some after this, okay?,” she asked. Shireen nodded happily, eating her ice cream. Ella was no longer in the mood for hers though. Robb’s hand was still on her knee, but it was no longer warning, just comforting. “Do you need anything else? Did you um… run out of anything else?”

 

“No,” Shireen said.

 

“What about your water bottle?,” Rickon piped up.

 

Robb’s hand tightened on her knee and she glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at her to warn her, his jaw was set.

 

“What happened to your water bottle?,” she asked.

 

Shireen and Rickon exchanged a glance, and she saw Shireen shake her head at Rickon. He looked at her wide eyed, clearly torn between being worried for his friend and not wanting to betray her trust.

 

“Rick,” Robb said sternly.

 

Rickon sighed and turned to his older brother, “Some kids stole it today.”

 

She placed her hand on Robb’s, because he was gripping her knee almost painfully. He loosened his grip and interlaced their fingers.

 

“Did you tell your counsellor?,” he asked his little brother.

 

Rickon glanced nervously at Shireen and shook his head, tears pooling in his eyes, “B-but I shared mine.”

 

It didn’t take a genius to know that Shireen had begged him not to tell. Even still, Robb was looking at his little brother like he still had some lessons to teach him.

 

It was no accident that every generation of Stark men were noble and good. The older ones always made damn sure of it.

 

Even still, he was only nine. It wasn’t his job to be her protector.

 

“That was very gallant of you, little one,” she told him, “Thank you. Shy we’ll get you a new water bottle too, okay?”

 

Her cousin nodded and she and Robb changed the subject, asking them about summer reading and if they were excited about the all-camp sleepover.

 

When they were finished with their ice creams, Robb had guided Rickon towards his truck and she’d taken Shireen towards her car, promising that they’d be right behind them after a trip to pick up a few things. They were both having dinner at the Starks that evening, as they so often did. Shireen had been brought into the pack just like she had.

 

Shireen wanted to listen to _girly music_ and the pair of them sang Taylor Swift at the top of their lungs, not caring about the odd looks other drivers were giving them. She took Shireen to the pharmacy and bough her four bottles of sunblock and bug spray, a new hat and swim shirt, and a water bottle that was meant to keep water cold all day.

 

She’d then purchased some pink nail polish and promised that her or Sansa would paint her toenails after dinner.

 

At the cash register they were selling face masks and on a whim she bought one to give to Robb as a gag.

 

They drove the familiar roads to the Starks, and when they got there Bran and Rickon and Jojen were running through the sprinklers. Shireen had gone to join them and she went into the house to see if Catelyn needed any help with dinner.

 

No one was around on the first floor though so she went up to third floor. Sansa’s bedroom was empty, and she remembered that Theon was giving her a sailing lesson today.

 

Though why Sansa needed a sailing lesson when they’d both learned when they were six she had no idea.

 

She went further down the hall to Robb’s room. She didn’t bother to knock, he never did, and found him pacing on the phone.

 

“Yeah, look just keep a special eye on her okay? Yeah, just make sure she’s wearing sunblock and has enough lunch and water… yeah let me know if you find out who did it. I know… I know he loves her, but he’s just a kid… yeah… mmhm, okay thanks…and if you notice anything just call me okay? Yeah I know, but call this number if she needs anything… thanks.”

 

“Who was that?,” she asked as he hung up the phone.

 

He froze, his back to her and she closed the door behind her. She walked around to face him and he looked at her guiltily.

 

“I called their counsellor, okay?,” he grumbled. “Rickon told me that Shireen’s been packing her own lunches.”

 

“I’ll talk to her nanny,” Ella sighed, “I’ll ask her to pack it the day before.”

 

“Why don’t we talk to her parents?,” Robb spat.

 

“Because that won’t help anything, don’t you remember when your mom tried talking to mine?,” she asked.

 

His eyes went wide, “I didn’t think you knew about that.”

 

“Yeah well,” she shrugged, “I did. You know, my family isn’t like yours, Robb. Why do you think I’m such a good cook? My mother lives on celery and vodka. You know, if it weren’t for Eglantine and your mom… just trust me, okay? I’ll speak with her nanny.”

 

He sighed and nodded, “Her counsellor thinks he knows who stole her water bottle. He’s going to keep a special eye out.”

 

“Thank you,” she said, banging her head against his chest, “Kids are the worst.”

 

“Basically,” he agreed, rubbing her hair.

 

She looked up at him and smiled, “But you are the best.”

 

He pulled her hair off her neck and twisted it around his hand, tugging it back.

 

“It doesn’t take a good person to know that what’s going on is fucked up,” he told her earnestly.

 

“No,” she agreed, running her hands up his shoulders, “But it takes a great person to look out for a little girl for no particular reason.”

 

He furrowed his brow, “No particular reason? How about she’s a little kid who should be taken care of? How about because my little brother loves her?…How about because you do?” She smiled up at him. “What?”

 

She pressed down on his shoulders until he sat on his bed, and she sat down on one of his legs. His arms wrapped around her waist and he was looking at her expectantly.

 

“I just realised that you have no idea how special your goodness is,” she told him honestly.

 

A blush peppered his high cheekbones and he gave her a bashful smile. It was hard not to kiss it, so she did, and he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. It wasn’t presumptive or inciting, it was a kiss for the sake of it.

 

He’d been teaching her all kinds of things, but this he’d learned from her.

 

He kissed her nose and it was her turn to grin.

 

“Where is she now?,” he asked.

 

“Outside, running through the sprinklers with Rickon and Bran and Jojen, being a _kid_.”

 

“We could go be kids with them,” he offered, and then tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, his eyes falling to her lips and wandering back up, “Or…”

 

“Or?,” she teased, cocking her head to the side.

 

“Or we could stay up here for some… adult activities,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose against hers.

 

She stroked her fingers through his soft curls and said, “I’m feeling awfully grown up all of a sudden…”

 

He grinned and pulled her to him, kissing her purposefully now, his lips parting hers and his tongue massaging hers. She’d realised about a week ago how much he’d held back with her in the beginning. He was still incredibly gentle, seeming to crave her softness at times, but there were others when he manhandled her in a way that made her feel delicate and desired like nothing else.

 

His hand grasped her thigh and started moving upwards, and her body responded to him.

 

“This sundress,” he groaned, the hem of it in between his fingers.

 

“What about it?,” she asked.

 

He tugged her hair back and kissed her neck, “It’s so prissy, just like you.”

 

“I’m not prissy,” she said haughtily and he pulled away from her and raised his eyebrows like _See?_ She grinned, “I’m _not_ I just… have high standards for myself and those around me.”

 

“Honey,” he chuckled, “You’re a priss,” with that he tackled her backwards, boxing her in and grinning down at her, “But that’s what I like about you.”

 

“Oh is that all?,” she wondered rather prissily.

 

He scrunched his nose adorably and allowed, “There may be _one_ or _two_ other things…”

 

“Oh yeah l-,”

 

“Robby!,” Sansa called, throwing open the door.

 

Robb sprung off of her and she smoothed down her dress.

 

“Oh, Ella good you’re here,” Sansa grinned, plopping down on the bed next to her.

 

“Well isn’t this a sight,” Theon grinned as he followed her in. She picked up a pillow and chucked it at him. He dodged it, “Don’t be such a priss, El.”

 

Robb burst out laughing and she glared at him, but he ignored her.

 

“How was your day?,” she asked them.

 

“Good, the movie was crap though,” Theon said quickly.

 

She turned towards Sansa who was looking at Theon, and said, “I thought you guys were sailing today…”

 

Sansa turned to her and there was something in her eyes she couldn’t quite place, but she informed her casually, “No wind.”

 

“Oh,” Ella nodded.

 

“So what have you guys been doing?,” Sansa asked her and Robb.

 

She glanced at Robb but he looked speechless.

 

“Trying to figure out what to do tonight,” she supplied.

 

“There’s a party at the Tarly’s,” Theon offered.

 

“Sounds good,” Robb agreed.

 

Sansa turned to her, a small smile on her face, “But then let’s have a just us day tomorrow?”

 

“Naked, hopefully,” Theon suggested.

 

This time it was Sansa’s pillow that was thrown at him and just like that, they were kids again.


	6. Chapter 6

Robb pulled on the jib line until the sail stopped luffing. He sat back down and leaned his head back so that he could feel the sun on his face.

 

They had a glorious day, bright and clear with a strong wind. They were on the north side of the lake, which didn’t get as many people in the afternoons because the water got choppier, so they had space to move freely.

 

It was the first of August, and time seemed to be speeding up at an unprecedented pace. Two weeks from now, Theon would be heading back to school down South in the Reach, Sansa following three days later to start at the Fashion Institute in Highgarden.

 

Classes didn’t start for him until the 25th, but Ella’s move in day was the 20th so he’d be going with his father and her then. He had a house off-campus with some friends and could move in any time he wanted, but he was in no real hurry to get back.

 

He wondered what it would be like when he did get to school, with Ella there. Before this summer, he wouldn’t have had to think about it. They’d hang out in the library and she’d come to see his rugby games. He’d take her out to parties with him, making sure his girl friends were nice to her and his guy friends were nowhere near her. They’d coordinate travel plans and look out for each other, like they aways had.

 

Maybe it didn’t have to be different now. Maybe they’d do all those things. They spent plenty of time together now, and nothing was strange about it.

 

In truth, he spent more time with her than any girl he’d ever dated. He’d never really had a girlfriend, but he had to imagine that this was what it was like. They went to parties together and went home together. They hung out with their friends and on their own. They had inside jokes and he knew how to make her laugh when she was in a foul mood and she knew how to bring him out of his.

 

With girls he’d dated in the past, he’d never really had much desire to be around them so much. He liked hooking up with them and he’d had a great time with Marg, but he always reached a point where he just wanted to go and be with his friends. But Ella _was_ his friend, and he never really seemed to get sick of her.

 

Maybe he would if they were dating.

 

“What are you up to tonight?,” Theon asked.

 

Robb’s brow furrowed, “I thought we were going to that party with Yara?”

 

Theon’s cheeks went a bit red, which was weird, and he shook his head, “Uh, no man I can’t. I’ve got plans.”

 

He narrowed his eyes at him, “What’s her name?”

 

Theon gave him a cocky grin and winked, “Which one?”

 

Robb rolled his eyes. He was about to press him for details, it was unlike Theon not to want to share names and exact measurements. He wondered briefly if the girl had a boyfriend, but Theon usually thought that was funny.

 

He was distracted by a buzzing in his pocket and saw he had a text from Ella.

 

_Wolf, your sister is ditching me tonight. It is now up to you to mend my broken heart by entertaining me._

 

He grinned and typed back _God El, you’re so needy_.

 

He watched as the typing bubbles appeared and a moment later he received _Come onnn let’s do something fun and stupid, you owe me._

 

_How do you figure?_

 

_Well, let me rephrase. You will owe me. Wink, wink._

 

He felt himself grow hard at the mere thought of what she might do. They hadn’t really gone too much further, but she had become expert at jacking him off and dry humping him into oblivion. It was strange, he knew, that he was satisfied by that. At school he had a number of girls he’d text if someone he thought was a sure thing turned out not to be. But he hadn’t been with anyone else since the first night he kissed her.

 

There were times when he knew that he could convince her to do more. She knew her own mind but her body was another story.

 

There were some nights when he considered it, when he thought about whispering in her ear how much he’d like to feel her lips around his cock, some mornings when she looked so beautiful that he wanted to beg for her to let him have her. He never did though, because that would change everything.

 

And not just for her.

 

Though he was not such a fool as to think that things hadn’t changed already.

 

He wondered if she ever thought about it. She never asked him about other girls, not once, though he knew he brought up Trystane’s name far more than he should. In fairness, he had stopped by once or twice when they were at her house - once with his family’s new puppy, who Ella had apparently mentioned wanting to meet at some point, and another _on a whim as I was driving by_. Luckily they’d been clothed both times, but that hadn’t stopped Trystane’s normally friendly demeanour from changing towards him in the last few weeks.

 

Not that that was any great loss in his opinion, but nobody knew about him and Ella and a jealous rival could be awfully inconvenient.

 

He wasn’t sure what the fallout would be like if everyone found out about them, but he knew that it would be substantial. The thing was that he’d used to worry about hurting other people when they found out, Sansa most especially, but now his fears were all tied to Ella and that she’d want to call it off.

 

Somehow or other this thing between them had become exactly that, _a thing_. Something more real and important than he’d care to admit. Something that he didn’t want to lose.

 

_I’ll pick you up at 8._

 

“Who’s the girl?,” Theon asked.

 

Robb furrowed his brow, putting his phone away and scoffing, “I think _I’m_ still waiting on an answer to that one…”

 

Theon chuckled, “She’s got you giggling like a schoolgirl and sketchy to boot? You’re fucked man.”

 

He hadn’t realised that he had been giggling. He found it a little hard to believe. At _most_ he had chuckled. Besides, who was Theon to talk?

 

He pulled on his sunglasses and leaned back, “Yeah well, pot, kettle, brother.”

 

*

 

He didn’t bother with the front door, knowing that her whole family was gone. They were all visiting her grandfather at Casterly Rock, but she had begged off, citing her inability to get off of work.

 

The fact that she didn’t have a job somehow had not occurred to either of her parents.

 

He hopped up onto the balcony off of her room. Why her parents allowed a beautiful eighteen year old girl to have a very accessible balcony off of her room, he’d never understand but would also never _really_ question.

 

“Knock, knock,” he said, rather than knocking because it always made her laugh.

 

His breath caught in his throat when she turned to look at him. She was wearing a sundress the colour of sea foam, that was fitted through her tiny middle and flared out, making her legs look impossibly long and slender. It criss-crossed at the neck and she wore her hair half-up, half-down, showing off her elegant neck and shoulders which were now a deep golden from days spent outside.

 

“Does this go with fun and stupid?,” she asked, half-twirling this way and that.

 

“You are so beautiful,” he told her.

 

She grinned, “I’ll take that as a yes,” and crossed to him, “Are these for me?”

 

 _Everything is for you,_ an idiotic voice whispered in his head.

 

She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side, and he shook himself out of it. He looked down at the flowers he was starting to scrunch in his hand and nodded.

 

“Finally figured out how to get them up here,” he told her, handing them to her.

 

“Did you put them in your mouth?,” she asked, “Tell me you did!”

 

He chuckled, “Now where would be the fun in my telling you?”

 

“Good point,” she conceded and looked at them.

 

He brought her flowers often, picking them along his way. It didn’t take much effort and they always made her smile a special kind of way. She’d smile at the flowers and not at him, and for some reason that felt important.

 

“They’re pretty,” she told him and then leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, “And so are you.”

 

She went to move away but he caught her by wrapping an arm around her back. He sought her lips again, taking her cheek in his free hand and she let him kiss her. After a moment though he felt her arms wrap around his neck, her body pressing against his and she kissed him back fully.

 

He wanted to reach his hands underneath her dress and feel the silky skin between her legs making her cry out his name again and again, but he didn’t. He settled for letting his hand wander down to her butt and squeezing it once.

 

She squealed against his lips, pulling back to grin at him, and he surprised them both by smacking his palm against her ass. Her breath caught in her throat and she let out a silent gasp, her eyes on his.

 

He would have apologised if not for the wildfire simmering in her eyes.

 

“Did you like that?,” he asked, rubbing his palm over her butt gently. Her nod was slight but definitive and he grinned at her and nudged his nose against hers, “Then I’ve got more to teach you.”

 

“Okay,” she all but whispered.

 

“But first,” he said, “I believe you requested fun and stupid?” She trailed her fingers over the flowers she was still holding and nodded. “Alright then, let’s go.”

 

She went to the vase on her night stand and took it into her bathroom. He heard water running and she came out, arranging her new bouquet and set it back down on the table.

 

“What do I need?,” she asked.

 

“Nothing,” he assured her, “I’ve got you.”

 

She walked over to him slowly, as though she were approaching an animal in the wild, and he felt her small hand slip into his. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, which was odd considering he’d touched every inch of her and she him. He looked down at their hands, and interlaced their fingers and pulled her out the door before either of them could think about it anymore.

 

He took her out to his truck and she climbed in. He climbed in the other side and pulled out of her circular drive and up her long driveway.

 

“So where are you taking me?,” she asked.

 

“You’ll see,” he evaded, pulling onto the main street.

 

“You’re quite secretive today…,” she teased.

 

She was the second person to tell him that today, but he shrugged and asked, “Don’t you trust me, El?”

 

She was silent for a moment and then asked, “Robb, can I ask you something?”

 

He could have told her that she hadn’t answered his question, but he didn’t. He merely nodded, “Course you can.”

 

He pulled onto the highway and he looked at her briefly. He couldn’t tell if she was trying to figure out where they were going or trying to figure out how to ask what she wanted to but he waited all the same. Pushing never did any good with her.

 

He switched lanes, drumming the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio.

 

“I guess what I’m wondering is, and there’s no wrong answer here, I’m merely _curious…,”_ she started.

 

“So this is for science,” he clarified.

 

“ _Exactly_ ,” she giggled. “So _objectively_ speaking is this… a date?”

 

He tried to figure out how to answer that.

 

Was this night any different than those nights they spent holed up in her room, kissing every so often but mostly laughing and talking and watching movies? Was this different than when they’d sneak off after dinner at his house and go make out in the boathouse? Had those been dates?

 

What did it mean if they were? And if they weren’t, did it change anything, really?

 

“I think so,” he said.

 

“Okay,” she nodded, and as he turned to pull off the highway the streetlights caught on her smile.

 

“Okay,” he repeated, parking his truck.

 

“We’re here?,” she asked, leaning her head out the window to look and turning back to him with a grin, “ _Best date ever_.”

 

He chuckled but reprimanded, “Be cool, Baratheon.”

 

She slid over in the bench seat, the fluorescent lights catching in her eyes, her voice taking on a bedroom tone when she promised, “Oh I was _born_ cool, baby.”

 

And when she pressed her lips to his, all he could think was _best date ever_.

 

*

 

Ella’s famous Baratheon bravado was on full display as they walked inside. There was no bouncer at the front door thankfully, because even with the confidence in her step there’s no way a face as angelic as hers wouldn’t raise some eyebrows.

 

He’d been here before and the trick was always to come at 8:30 when the bouncers changed shifts. It was always too busy for the bartenders to take much notice and once you were inside they figured you were of age.

 

He could have taken her to the yacht club where both of their family’s belonged. There was an undiscussed rule there that as soon as members turned eighteen the bartenders started pouring for them, but that was hardly special. They’d drank there just last week with Theon and Sansa and Yara and a few of the guys from Theon’s sailing team. The manager had bought them all a round of dark and stormy’s and they’d ended up in the kitchens eating truffle french fries and caesar salad’s with the cooks at the end of the night.

 

This though, a dive bar off Route 1 would be a first for Myrcella Penelope Baratheon, who was an indefinable mix of prissy and laid back, and he had long planned to be the one to show it to her.

 

She winked at him as they made their way through and he bumped into another patron - a burly guy who looked at him sternly.

 

“Sorry,” he apologised, “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

 

The man took one look at Ella and nodded, “Makes sense.”

 

Ella pulled him away before he could do something stupid and pulled up a seat at the bar. There were tons of people waiting for drinks, but none as pretty or bright as her, so the old bartender meandered over to them, ignoring the angry hands waving in his face.

 

“What’ll it be darlin?,” he asked her.

 

“A beer, please,” she said meekly and the bartender gave her a look. She shook her head then and said more confidently, “No um, make that a double gin and tonic - and none of that well stuff, top shelf - _he’s_ buying.”

 

The bartender turned to look at him and he said, “I’ll have her beer. Whatever you have local on draft.”

 

He nodded and set about grabbing their drinks. He turned to look at Ella but she was looking around. There was a small smile on her lips, as her head bopped slightly to the old school song coming out of the speakers.

 

He remembered his first time here. He’d probably looked much the same. It was nice experiencing it for the first time twice.

 

“What do you think?,” he asked her.

 

She returned his question with another question, a habit of hers, “Do you ever read Sylvia Plath?”

 

He chuckled, “Oh god, is it that bad?”

 

She grinned and nudged his shin with her foot, “No it just… it reminds me of this quote I can’t quite remember. Something about wanting to be able to go to places like this and blend in…”

 

“If you wanted to blend in, that dress was a mistake,” he told her, thanking the bartender who handed them their drinks, “But then again, so was that face.”

 

She chuckled and clinked her glass against his, taking a small sip.

 

“I like date Robb,” she informed him, half-shouting to be heard over the crowd.

 

“Is he so different than any other Robb?,” he all but yelled back.

 

“Not really,” she shook her head, sipping her drink more fully now, and shrugged, as though it were obvious, “But I like every version of you.”

 

“I like every version of you too,” he said softly.

 

She seemed to hear him anyway and raised a challenging eyebrow, “Even the one that beats you in darts?”

 

He grinned, sliding off his seat and picking up their drinks, “If I ever meet her I’ll let you know.”

 

*

 

He wasn’t entirely sure how it happened, because he’d only been in the line for the bathroom for five minutes, but when he came back Ella was _drunk_.

 

And very, very popular.

 

That part had happened a little earlier. She had in fact beat him at darts and a crowd had amassed when he’d challenged her to a rematch. The burly guy that he’d bumped into before had said _I’ve got winner_ and Ella had shrugged nonchalantly and said, _Your funeral_ before hitting the bull’s eye once again.

 

Bet’s were taken and lost, until one by one they all started believing in _the baby in the green dress_. Everyone seemed to know that she was underage and no one seemed to care, and when some middle aged women had dragged her into the middle of the floor to dance, he’d let her go without a second thought.

 

He began to wonder now though if there hadn’t been some shots taken amidst dancing, because as he came back he found her sitting on the bar, her ankles crossed primly even in her slightly reduced state, pouring whiskey from the bottle into a college girl’s mouth.

 

“Robb,” she smiled when she saw him, wiggling the bottle at him, “Give me a kiss and I’ll give you a swig.”

 

He chuckled at her and uncrossed her ankles, and stepped in between her legs, making sure that her dress didn’t ride up too far in the process.

 

“I’ll take the kiss but I’m all done for the night,” he told her, “I’m driving, remember?”

 

She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned her forehead against his, “You’re so _responsible_. So good.”

 

He took her face in his hands and told her sternly, “Higher your standards.”

 

She grinned and planted a kiss to his nose rather than his lips, “But you’re already so tall, _baby_.”

 

About a half hour ago he’d noticed the slight lilt in her voice that always came out when she’d drank a little too much. Her maternal grandmother had been a southern belle and every so often her vowels would catch in the most adorable way.

 

“Alright, Miss Scarlet,” he grinned, “I think I ought to take you home.”

 

“You’ll come with me though,” she told him, and then asked, “And stay?”

 

“If you want me to,” he confirmed.

 

With that she grinned and slid off the bar into his arms. He lowered her to the floor but didn’t quite let go, her back against the bar and her front to him. He gestured to the bartender that he wanted to close out and he signed his bill as Ella’s hands wandered up his shirt.

 

“ _Ella_ ,” he half chuckled half groaned.

 

“One, two, three, four, fivesixseveneight,” she cooed in his ear. “Too many abs for one person.”

 

“Should I give one or two away?,” he asked as he put his credit card into his wallet.

 

She looked up at him and sputtered out a laugh. He couldn’t help but look at her incredulously as tears all but fell down her face.

 

“What?,” he asked.

 

“You… you… you can’t just… give them away _, you ninny,_ ” she informed him.

 

It was then that he realised she was well and truly drunk, so he wrapped his arm around her and lead her out. She waved goodbye and blew kisses to people and not for the first time he wondered how she could call herself introverted.

 

He helped her into the truck, not that she was stumbling or anything, but she’d burrowed into his side and her lips felt warm against his neck in contrast to the cool August air.

 

He went around to his side and though he’d only had a beer, when he pulled out of the parking lot he decided to stay clear of the highway, not wanting to risk getting stopped with a very drunken underage Ella in the car.

 

He drove them down backroads, where the speed limit was slower, and she rolled down her window and leaned her head against his shoulder, resting her feet up on the window, her toes catching the wind.

 

All at once he was transported back in time to when he was younger. It had only been him, Sansa and Arya at that time and his dad had been driving them and his mom in a truck just like this. The girls were in the back seat in their car seats, but his Mom had let him sit up front in her lap and she’d rolled down the window and stuck her feet out just like El was doing now.

 

“Thank you for taking me,” she said, sounding more sober than she had only a few minutes before.

 

“You’re welcome,” he managed, a cold sweat running down his back.

 

“Robb I have a question,” she told him.

 

“Another one for science?,” he wondered.

 

“No,” she said, her fingers trailing up and down his arm, which had found it’s way around her. “This one’s for me.”

 

“Go on then,” he told her.

 

“Why aren’t you trying to sleep with me?,” she asked.

 

“Because I’m driving and you’re hammered,” he informed her.

 

She giggled and leaned her head back even further, laying her head in his lap and looking up at him.

 

It took everything in his power to keep his eyes on the road, but he had to. Precious cargo, and all that.

 

He felt her small hand on his cheek, and then her knuckles rubbing against his jaw.

 

“I don’t mean now, I mean ever,” she clarified.

 

He sighed and turned slowly onto the street that would lead to her house.

 

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he told her. “You must know that I do, but…”

 

“What’s that thing Dad always says?”

 

He smirked, because she meant his dad and not hers. If his father had heard that he probably would have keeled over and died out of pure joy.

 

But that was exactly the problem, wasn’t it?

 

She didn’t just belong to him. She belonged to all of them, and they’d no sooner let her go than they’d turn their backs on him.

 

“Everything would change, El,” he told her, “Everything.”

 

“Hasn’t it already?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is for @julesbarrett who read through not one but two completely different versions of this chapter -- if you're curious what the other one looked like let me know -- and has been unceasingly supportive and lovely.

“Okay so, Professor Thorne is…,” she prompted.

 

“He made my friend Jon cry once,” Robb noted as he clicked on a course titled _History of Female Pleasure._

 

“Does Jon… have a weak constitution?,” she asked as she took her laptop back and closed out of that course.

 

“Oh my god Jane Austen…,” he chuckled, grabbing his own computer and typing in _History of Female Pleasure_ and putting it on his alternates list, “No he does not have a weak constitution. He’s the toughest guy I know, though don’t tell him I said so when you meet him.”

 

It was Monday night and they’d begged off a party so that they could register for classes. They were lying on her bed, Parks & Rec on in the background, with both their laptops opened. Robb had already registered for a couple of his, prereqs for his business major, and she’d chosen the literature course that she wanted and had signed up for High Valyrian, but they both had a number of other courses to fill for the first semester.

 

Robb had been a godsend all summer, answering all of the questions she asked - about the best time to study in the library and if there were any buildings that were off campus. When she’d gotten her freshman dorm assignment he’d taken one look at it and said _Nope_ and had called the school and done a scarily accurate impression of her grandfather to have it changed. Coincidentally, he’d gotten her a large single room in the dorm closest to his off-campus house and the rugby field, but he’d assured her that it was the best one and that a friend of his would be her R.A. and would let her get away with anything.

 

_What kind of friend?_

 

_What do you mean what kind of friend?_

 

_Like a friend friend or a sex friend?_

 

_Um, a friend friend._

 

_So you haven’t had sex with her?_

 

_Well I mean… Once, no twice. But she’s a friend friend._

 

_You’re way too handsome for your own good, Wolf._

 

_Surprisingly, I’m cool with it._

 

But now it was time to really choose courses and she wanted to make sure that she chose right. She loved school and as excited as she was about parties and being away from her parents, she was really excited about her classes too. It felt luxurious that she’d get to study whatever she wanted for four years. Six if she decided to pursue a Master’s degree like she was planning to.

 

“Fine, so Professor Thorne is a _no_ ,” she said, scrolling down and looking at her other options for a history course. “How about Great Families of Westeros with Professor Luwin?”

 

“I was thinking of taking that too, actually, I took a class with Luwin last year and he’s great. He knows _everything_ and he’s really cool, I mean, he’s like a thousand but…,” Robb trailed off and expanded the outline of the course.

 

“We could be study buddies,” she told him, turning to look at him.

 

His gorgeous face turned pink and he grinned, turning to her and saying, “If you think I’m going to let you copy my notes just because I like your body… you are absolutely right.”

 

She giggled and asked, gesturing down to her tank top and boxers covered form, “This body?”

 

“Hmm,” he said, moving her laptop away, “Let me double check…”

 

She grinned, all but groaning at how corny he was, and he tackled her backwards.

 

He boxed her in completely, straddling her, and lowered his lips to her neck.

 

“ _Robb…_ ,” she sighed, tilting her neck to allow him better access, “These are due in two days…”

 

“More than enough time,” he assured her as he kissed her favourite spot behind her ear and making her see stars.

 

“Off!,” she all but shouted at him.

 

“Me?,” he asked in concern.

 

“No, you ninny, your shirt,” she clarified, “Off, off, off.”

 

He chuckled and pulled off his t shirt. Her gaze wandered over his chest and abs, all but licking her lips.

 

“You can’t just _say_ that, you know,” he teased, “What if I commanded you take off your clothes?”

 

She grinned, “It’d be a nice change of pace from you ripping them.”

 

His face fell in mock-horror and he all but fell down on top of her, “That was one time.”

 

“Yeah well it was my _favourite_ dress,” she pointed out.

 

“Mine too,” he grinned and kissed her lips.

 

Professors and courses flew out of her mind as his lips wandered over hers. He had this way of kissing her that made her forget everything that wasn’t him. She opened her mouth and his tongue slipped against hers, his fingers tangling in her hair as hers explored his back.

 

“We haven’t talked about it,” she told him, pulling away.

 

“Talked about what?,” he asked against her neck.

 

“Our conversation…,” she started and he pulled away and looked at her, “On the way home… from the bar?”

 

He got off of her and sat with his head against her headboard. She sat up, smoothing her tank top and sitting criss-crossed facing him.

 

“I wasn’t sure that you remembered…,” he said after a moment.

 

“Were you hoping I’d forgotten?,” she asked in a voice smaller than she would have liked.

 

“No,” he shook his head, but he wasn’t looking at her. She waited patiently and he looked at her and repeated, “No, no of course not.”

 

“We don’t have to,” she said quickly, “If you don’t want to, I mean I…I j-“

 

“Ella, honey,” he all but grimaced and all of a sudden she was in his arms and being pulled into his lap. “I have failed completely.”

 

“At what?,” she wondered, because Robb Stark succeeded at everything he did.

 

“At convincing you of just how utterly irresistible you are,” he sighed, leaning his forehead against her in frustration, “Which I’ve been working very hard at all summer.”

 

She giggled, “That wasn’t part of the deal…”

 

He grinned and looked into her eyes, nuzzling his nose against hers and all but cooing, “It was a side project.”

 

Warmth radiated through her body, all of her senses heightened. She’d been feeling it for weeks now, maybe longer, this overwhelming rightness when they were together.

 

She’d fallen for him, plain and simple. And now, in his arms, it felt like it really _all_ might be simple.

 

“So… you want to,” she supplied.

 

“Oh,” he nodded, his voice dropping an octave and making her shiver, “I definitely want to.”

 

“If we did…,” she started and he pulled away from her and tucked some hair behind her ear. She leaned her cheek against his palm and he stroked it softly. “What…”

 

“Would it mean?,” he supplied for her. She nodded and he sighed, “Well, I think it’d have to mean that-“

 

“OH MY GOD!,” a voice shouted from the doorway.

 

There, dressed to the nines, was her best friend and, at the moment inconveniently, Robb’s sister Sansa.

 

“Dovey,” she started as she hopped out of Robb’s lap. “I can explain.”

 

“I knew it, I _told_ him - I -“

 

“Told who?,” she asked her.

 

Sansa looked at her, her blue eyes wide and a flush on her cheeks. Ella had a pretty idea of who _he_ was but Sansa clearly didn’t want Robb to know so she didn’t press it.

 

“Dovey, this isn’t what you think,” Robb told her, getting off the bed and pulling on his shirt.

 

“So you’re _not_ dating my best friend?,” Sansa challenged, crossing her arms.

 

Which, if Ella was right about who he was, was just the tiniest bit hypocritical.

 

Robb glanced at her and scratched his head, “Well um…”

 

“We don’t know,” she told her honestly, “I think we may have been in the process of sorting that out when you walked in here.”

 

Sansa chuckled harshly, “Well considering the fact that you were on top of him and his shirt was off I think you’re more than just friends.”

 

Ella felt a vicious blush on her cheeks and she looked down at the floor.

 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you,” she said, “But I just… It started so casually and we didn’t think you’d understand and if you really aren’t comfortable with it then we’ll stop but -“

 

“We will?,” Robb reared at her.

 

She hadn’t been expecting ire to come from her left and she looked at him. She had never seen anyone look so hurt before and she wanted to take the words back, but she couldn’t.

 

“She’s my soulmate,” she told him, tears flooding her eyes, “If it comes between her happiness and mine… I’m always going to choose hers.”

 

He chuckled harshly. It was a familial trait.

 

“Yeah, El, and what about mine?,” he asked her.

 

“Robb, wait, please I just,” she went to grab his arm.

 

She couldn’t explain to them both at once that they were the most important person in her life. But they were. Most people didn’t get one person that they’d tear their heart out of your chest for but she had two and right now she felt like she was being stretched on the rack between them.

 

He shook out of her grasp and grabbed his laptop off the bed and stormed out. She and Sansa both watched him go in silence.

 

She felt a sob welling up in her body and all she wanted to do was run after him and tell him. Tell him that she wanted him and only him. That she wanted him to be her first because she was pretty sure she wanted him to be her last and she didn’t want to be a friend friend or a sex friend or anything other kind of friend except his girlfriend.

 

But Sansa was still standing there and she deserved an explanation.

 

“We didn’t tell you, because when things first started it wasn’t supposed to be anything,” she started, “We were… just… well the truth is I was kind of freaking out about having no experience and he offered to help because he didn’t want me being taken advantage of and -,” she broke off when Sansa started laughing. “What?”

 

Sansa’s face fell and she shook her head, “You think that’s why he offered?”

 

“He’s never lied to me, not once,” she told her.

 

Sansa nodded, “Maybe not, but he’s lied to me, and himself too I’d wager. For you.”

 

“Sansa I’m sorry I -“

 

“You know, El,” Sansa sighed, “I used to think you were the smartest girl I’d ever met.”

 

Ella flinched as though she’d been slapped. She’d seen Sansa’s coldness, the way she could wrap it around herself like armour, but it had never once been directed at her in eighteen years.

 

And it beckoned her Baratheon temper.

 

“Like you’re any smarter, fooling around with Theon Greyjoy,” she said spitefully, regretting it instantly.

 

Sansa opened her mouth and then shut it again. She shook her head and turned on her heel.

 

But she stopped when she got to the door, “We aren’t fooling around. He loves me, and I love him. It’s why I came over here, I was going to bring you to his house. We wanted to tell you and Robb together, because the secret was killing us both.”

 

There were a million things she could have said but all she could think of was, “What does it feel like?”

 

“What?,” Sansa asked.

 

“Being in love,” she answered.

 

Sansa offered her first genuine smile, her cheeks turning pink, “I don’t know how to describe what it feels like, but I’ll tell you one thing,” she said, gesturing to the bed where she and Robb had just been sitting, “I’ll bet it looks a lot like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is a bit shorter, but I want the next part to be from Robb's pov. I'd love to hear what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Robb lay in bed and pressed play on the voicemail.

 

_Robb, it’s me. I’m trying to give you your space because I know I upset you, but please call me back. I… I felt like we were on the verge of something great and I mucked it all up. I… just call me back, please, I miss you._

 

He had it memorised by now, and he’d only received it that morning. It had been two days since he’d seen Ella, and every single second of each of them had been spent trying not to go over to her house.

 

He scrolled over to the text messages he’d received from her.

 

_Please come back._

 

_I really want to talk about this, us._

 

_Can I come over?_

 

_I’m sorry I’ve been so pushy. I’m here whenever you’re ready._

 

The last he’d received a couple of hours ago. Each of them brought the usual spark of excitement that always accompanied a text from her, until he remembered and he was sobered once again.

 

He was about to press play on the voicemail once again when his door opened. For a brief moment he thought it might be Ella, but his sister walked into the room instead.

 

“Hi Robby,” she said quietly.

 

He forced himself to sit up in bed, ignoring how difficult it was. His head felt heavy and foggy, his limbs weak.

 

“Hey Dovey,” he managed.

 

“It’s a beautiful night out,” she noted.

 

“I know,” he agreed, “I was outside earlier.”

 

“When?,” she asked.

 

He leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes, yawning, “Yesterday.”

 

Sansa sighed and sat down on his bed. He slid back down until he was laying on the pillows. It felt better here.

 

“I was just with Ella,” Sansa informed him, undeterred by the fact that he clearly had no interest in speaking with her or anyone else.

 

“I’m glad you two made up,” he said honestly though.

 

“Are you two going to?,” she asked him, but he remained silent. “She’s a mess Robb.” His jaw clenched and he gritted his teeth, ignoring the pangs in his heart. “She’s hardly gotten out of bed, but she asked me to give you these.”

 

His eyes opened on their own accord and he looked at what Sansa was proffering.

 

It was a bouquet of wildflowers. Because of course it was.

 

He took them from her and felt warmth coursing through his veins. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at them, thinking of her picking them for him.

 

_Oh, so that’s why._

 

“You’re sulking,” Sansa pointed out needlessly.

 

“Brooding,” he corrected, like Jon always did when he accused him of the same.

 

Sansa scoffed, “Okay Jane Austen.”

 

All at once he heard Ella’s bright, twinkling laughter and could practically smell her jasmine soap.

 

“Sansa just… can you just leave me to figure this out on my own?,” he asked her.

 

“No,” she informed him, “Because I have a very heartbroken best friend and if you were any other boy I’d be kicking your ass right now but the sad fact is that I love you and I’m worried about you so I _can’t_ and it’s pissing me off.”

 

He chuckled, “I’m sorry.”

 

“You should be,” she pointed out.

 

“I shouldn’t have hid it from you,” he conceded.

 

“You think that’s what I’m upset about?,” she wondered, rolling her eyes, “Game recognises game, I’ve been dating Theon behind your back since July 4th.”

 

He burst out laughing, imagining the pair of them going on dates. Theon picking Sansa up, holding her hand. Telling her she looked pretty without his usual cockiness. It was ridiculous.

 

“Oh my god, thanks, Dovey I really needed that.”

 

“I’m not kidding,” she said with a straight face.

 

Too straight of a face.

 

“I’m sorry fucking what?,” he all but shouted at her, sitting back up. “You… and Theon. Theon Greyjoy. The guy who has girls saved in his phone by their bra sizes?”

 

Sansa’s face coloured in annoyance and she all but growled, “Not anymore.”

 

“He deleted them?,” he couldn’t help but ask.

 

“I made him start with the double d’s,” she told him a bit smugly.

 

He chuckled and shook his head, “I’m not okay with this.”

 

“Yeah well, that’s unfortunate for you, because we’re in love and we love you so you’re just going to have to get okay with it,” she informed him.

 

_If you really aren’t comfortable with it we’ll stop…_

 

He’d heard it in his head over and over again. It had been like whiplash. Real, honest to goodness whiplash.

 

He’d been about to ask her to be his girlfriend. His first girlfriend, and hopefully his last. He’d wanted to tell her that he wanted to be her first, her only, that he was ready whenever she was but that he wasn’t going anywhere and they’d take it as slow as she wanted. He was going to tell her that he’d fallen for her. Plain and simple.

 

Except that it wasn’t.

 

Because a part of him had been relieved when Sansa had walked in. Because Ella would be his first girlfriend but he wanted her to be his last and he was terrified that he’d screw it up, hurt her.

 

And then she’d told Sansa that they’d stop if she wanted them to.

 

Whiplash, and again.

 

“If only Ella had your fortitude,” he sighed.

 

“Oh fuck you, Robb,” Sansa practically spat at him. “Tell me you are not angry with her for that?”

 

“Sansa…”

 

“List me her best qualities,” she urged him and he shook his head. He had no desire to think about her best qualities, let alone list them. It was all he’d been thinking about. “Fine, I’ll do it. She’s generous, to a fault. Kind and empathetic. Selfless. Loyal. Are you seriously going to punish her for being herself?”

 

“Sansa,” he closed his eyes, trying to get the pain in his heart to dissipate. “I know how special she is. But it isn’t just that, I’m afraid that…”

 

“That what?,” Sansa asked in a kinder voice.

 

“That I’d hurt her, you know, that I’d grow bored, eventually, or get restless, the way I have with all the others… Roslin, the Jeynes, Marg…,” he trailed off, not even bothering to mention the girls at school.

 

“You really have no idea, do you?,” she asked him, her eyes trailing over his face as though trying to solve a puzzle.

 

“About what?,” he wondered.

 

“You say you understand how special she is,” Sansa started, “But you’ve never really thought about it, have you? You’ve never realised?”

 

“Realised what?,” he asked in frustration.

 

She smiled at him sympathetically, and took his hand in hers, “Why all of them look alike, and none of them look like her.”

 

*

 

The nights had grown cooler. August nights always did but it snuck up on him every year. There was a crispness in the air that made him think of falling leaves and new notebooks. Autumn had always rejuvenated him, the real start of a new year.

 

He walked the familiar path, the one he could travel with his eyes closed without misstepping once.

 

He didn’t know what he was going to say when he saw her, all he knew was that there was a beautiful girl on the other side of this path and that he missed her more than he’d ever missed anyone in his whole life.

 

He was trying to figure out how to tell her when he nearly bumped into someone.

 

“Robb?”

 

“Ella?!,” he asked, as his eyes adjusted. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

 

“I was coming to see you,” she said, “I know I said I’d give you space, I know I did but I can’t.”

 

There were so many things he could say to that but all he could think of was, “I don’t like you out here by yourself.”

 

“Good thing I’m with you then,” she pointed out a bit stubbornly in a way that made a smile tug at his lips. “Robb, I’m -“

 

“Let’s get you home,” he interrupted her, reaching for her hand. It felt like an icicle. “El you’re freezing!”

 

“I know,” her teeth chattered, “August always sneaks up on me.” He sighed and interlaced their fingers and started pulling her towards her house. He wrapped his arm around her after a minute because he could feel her shaking and it felt so good to have her in his arms once again that he wrapped his other arm around her too. “How can you see where we’re going?”

 

“I don’t need to,” he told her honestly. “I know the way by heart.”

 

“ _By heart_ ,” he could have sworn she whispered against his shoulder.

 

They were to her house in minutes, and it was now her who lead him up the back stairs. The house was dark and silent, her family gone once again, and he followed her wordlessly up the stairs, her brother’s cat following them dutifully.

 

When they got into her bedroom she turned to him and he saw her eyes rimmed in red, her nose slightly chapped.

 

“Please forgive me,” she started, tears falling out of her eyes, “I’ve fallen for you so completely and I can’t stand this. I can’t stand it. And I know, I know that it wasn’t part of the deal, I know that. And I know you’re angry with me, but before you end it…,” she broke off, wiping her eyes and stepped closer to him, looking up him with her jadeite eyes, “Just… just please don’t end it.”

 

He leaned his forehead against hers and she held him by the back of his head, kissing his lips and his cheeks.

 

“Do you remember, the night this all started?,” he asked and she stopped kissing him and nodded. “You told me that you weren’t my type. You weren’t wrong. I’d never been with anyone like you. But I realised tonight… well, Sansa kind of _told_ me tonight… that there’s a reason for that.”

 

“Because you like big boobs?,” she guessed and he chuckled when he saw her small smile.

 

“No,” he said, taking her face in his hands, “Because I never thought I was going to get you, and if I couldn’t have the real thing I didn’t want some knock-off version of you. So I went for your opposite. Because it was easier. It was easier than admitting…”

 

“Admitting what?,” she asked softly.

 

“That I never really fell for you,” he told her and felt her tense up, so he pressed his lips to her forehead briefly, “Or if I did, it happened so long ago that I didn’t even realise it. You’ve just been there, honey, you’ve just been there in my heart this whole time and I was either too stupid or too stubborn to see it.”

 

“Probably a little bit of both,” she muttered and then looked up at him and grinned.

 

He looked down at her, pushing some of her soft golden hair away from her face, his heart felt so full it was almost unbearable, “There’s something you have to know though.”

 

“What’s that?,” she asked bravely.

 

“I love you,” he told her, the first girl he’d ever said it to and he knew then and there that she was going to be the last. “I’m in love with you.”

 

A delicious blush spread up her cheeks and she closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against his hand. All at once a slow smile overtook her face.

 

“I love you too,” she assured him, her eyes opening and looking into his, “I’m so in love with you.”

 

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and warm and inviting and they wandered over his in the now familiar delicious pattern they’d created.

 

They were all lips and fingers as he walked her back to her bed and tackled her onto it.

 

“Robb,” she sighed as he kissed her neck, “You’re my boyfriend now, right?”

 

He grinned against her neck and then pulled away, “Yeah, that’s a pretty safe bet.”

 

“But you can still…advise me on things?,” she asked curiously.

 

He chuckled, “Still have to update my CV, but sure, what do you need?”

 

There was no laughter in her eyes, only love and desire, and she grazed her knuckle against his cheekbone, “Teach me how to make love.”

 

“I can’t,” he leaned down closer to her, “I’ve never done that before,” he told her, grabbing her hand and raising it above her head and interlacing their fingers, “So we’re just going to have to learn together, is that okay?”

 

She smiled, “Yeah, Wolf, yeah, that’s okay.”

 

He took hold of her face gently, committing every detail to memory, the elegant slope of her nose, the delicate line of her cheek, her otherworldy green eyes and the long lashes that framed them, and finally down to her perfect bow lips.

 

He leaned down and kissed her, and she kissed him back, sucking his bottom lip in the way that drove him crazy. They both reached for his shirt at the same time and he pulled it off, letting it fall to the floor. He pulled her up and pulled off her shirt as well, pressing kisses to her edible shoulders.

 

She fell back down on the bed and her hand came up to his abdomen, that always seemed to fascinate her, and it looked so small against him.

 

“You’re beautiful, Robb Stark,” she said with a small smile.

 

“Beautiful,” he said with a chuckle, “Do not talk to me of beauty, Ella Baratheon.”

 

She was wearing the light blue lace bra she’d tried on for him months before. The one that had almost made him stop it all because it was Ella and she was beautiful and perfect and innocent and he felt like a monster intent on corrupting her. He pulled off the offending garment, which he’d grown to adore, and pressed a kiss in between her breasts.

 

He took one in his mouth, letting his tongue lather her nipple. It peaked against him and she arched off the bed when he leaned back, not wanting to lose contact.

 

He kissed his way down her body, kissing the beauty mark on one of her ribs that he’d loved ever since he’d first seen it. He pulled down her soft cotton shorts and pressed a kiss to the matching boyshorts.

 

“Robb where are you going?,” she asked him.

 

He looked up at her and grinned, his chin on her stomach, “Oh you know where I’m going.”

 

“I don’t… can you just use your fingers tonight?,” she asked and he could feel the stress rolling off of her.

 

He moved back up her and took her cheek in his hand, “Of course, only what you’re comfortable with, you know that.”

 

In truth he was dying to bury his face in her cunt. He had done so a number of times since the first and he still wasn’t used to it, it was intoxicating, and he knew she enjoyed it. She didn’t seem to be enjoying the thought now though as she trembled lightly.

 

“Honey, you’re shaking,” he said in concern, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“Yes,” she said with strength in her voice, she wrapped her arm around his neck, “I just need you here,” she said and he let his forehead fall against hers, “If I can see your eyes I’ll be alright.”

 

He leaned in and kissed her reverently. She kept finding ways of telling him she loved him and he wanted them all greedily.

 

He moved his hand down her body slowly, pulling out of the kiss and looking down at her so she’d know his intention. He pulled the underwear down her and his hand found her cunt and he let his fingers flutter over it lightly. She was wet and warm and when he let his finger enter her he remembered how tight she was.

 

He dipped his finger in shallowly until her hips canted and then he gave her what she wanted and pushed it all the way in to his knuckle. All the while he kept his eyes on hers.

 

It was the most intimate thing he’d ever experienced. Had been from the start. He’d told her once that her body told him everything he needed to know without her saying a thing, it was all in the flash of her eyes, the clench of her muscles around him, the hike in her breath.

 

He got lost in her until there was nothing left but her eyes and the movement of his fingers and her sweet breath on his face.

 

“ _Robb_ , I’m going to,” she warned.

 

“I know,” he said and kept doing what he was doing, having added another finger. “I want to do this every night, god you’ve turned my world upside down. Come for me, it’s okay honey, that’s it, that’s _Oh Ella_ ,” he groaned as she came around his fingers.

 

He removed his fingers and brought them to his lips, sucking them deeply. Had he not been hard as a rock before, that would have done it. She was sweet like no one else, and he craved her in a way he’d never really gotten used to.

 

She pulled him and kissed him, pressing her naked chest against his, pushing him back on the bed and crawling on top of him.

 

“Fuck El,” he groaned as she kissed and licked his pecks.

 

Her golden hair was splayed out on his chest as she kissed lower and lower, her hand wandering down and cupping him through his shorts. Her hand moved to unbutton them and then she reached her hand underneath his boxers and took hold of him.

 

She nibbled his ear as she stroked him, more confident than she had been only moments before. She knew exactly how to touch him, and he groaned as he felt her tongue at his ear.

 

“El, stop stop stop,” he pleaded and she looked at him in surprise. He’d never requested that before. “I’m ready, are you?”

 

She nodded and he pushed her gently so that she lay on her back on the bed. He made quick work of his shorts and boxers and grabbed his wallet out of his shorts.

 

“What are you doing?,” she wondered.

 

He looked at her as he pulled a condom out of his wallet.

 

“I’m on the pill,” she informed him. “I… I want to feel just you.”

 

“Don’t you want to ask if I’m safe?,” he wondered, he knew he had a bit of a reputation.

 

“You wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t,” she reasoned and he loved her faith in him, that he would do the right thing by her.

 

He dropped the condom and leaned down and kissed her. She sucked on his tongue that he knew still had remnants of her on it. Her soft calf rubbed against his and she let her fingers trail down his back. Everything about her was so delicate and it made him feel like an animal.

 

“I need you, Ella,” he whimpered, losing sense, “I need you right now.”

 

“Take me,” she pleaded, “Robb take me please I’m ready.”

 

He kissed her once more and moved so that he was in between her legs, repositioning so that he could place himself at her entrance. She arched her back, her legs falling on either side of him, her calves resting on his. He took himself in hand and pressed against her entrance. She was wet and so inviting and he moved inside of her a little bit. Her hands fell to his biceps and he looked at her but she nodded so he pushed inside of her another inch. He felt her body resisting his and he realised then that as much as he’d taught her she’d taught him just as much.

 

So he kissed her cheek and her neck and he promised in her ear, “You’re doing so good, El, you feel so good.”

 

He felt her open for him slightly at the sound of his voice and he groaned as he eased in a bit further. He pulled out and then moved back in the same amount again, repeating it a few times until it started to get easier. He went a bit deeper and he knew he was nearing the point of no return and he eased back out once again. He hovered over her and she placed her hand on his cheek.

 

“Robb, you have to hurt me a little,” she told him strongly, voicing his worries, “It’s okay.”

 

“Ella, I don’t know if I can,” he said, shaking his head incredulously.

 

He had dreamed of this moment since the first moment he’d kissed her, further back if he was being honest with himself, but now that it was here he found himself unable.

 

“Of course you can, we’ll do it together,” she told him soothingly, and he felt pathetic. “I just need your help okay?”

 

He nodded at her and took her thigh in his hand. He moved in deeper and she canted her hips and she let out a little cry but all of a sudden their hips were against one another’s.

 

“Are you okay?,” he asked her.

 

She nodded, wiggling her hips and he saw stars. She moved to wrap her other leg around him and he went even deeper and they both cried out this time.

 

“You’re inside me,” she said a bit incredulously.

 

“I know,” he nodded, brushing hair out of her eyes, “How do you feel?”

 

“You’re my first, Robb Stark,” she said happily, tears in her eyes, “It’s so perfect that you’re here with me.”

 

“Oh _Ella_ ,” he said and now tears were flooding his eyes as well. He hadn’t even cried during his first time, but this was Ella. His Ella, his golden girl and she was so soft and brave and his. “There’s no where else I want to be. There’s nowhere for me except with you. There never has been.”

 

“Show me, show me,” she pleaded and he wiped a tear off her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

 

He pulled out of her slowly and thrusted back in. She didn’t protest so he did it again. His eyes found hers after he’d gotten into a rhythm and he found that she’d been watching him for some time.

 

He had been wrong. Because this was the most intimate thing he’d ever experienced.

 

Her breath hitched and so did his. He was overwhelmed, there was no way he’d last.

 

He told himself it was for the best, that she must be in pain, that it was alright if he didn’t last so long this time around.

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she sighed delicately, “You feel so good, _god do I love you_.”

 

“ _Ella_ ,” he groaned, “Say it again.”

 

“I love you, Robb, I love you completely and I’ve wanted, _oh that feels good_ , this for so long,” she said softly.

 

“Ella honey I’m not, I can’t go much longer,” he said.

 

“That’s okay, I want you to let go,” she said, “I want to feel you come inside me.”

 

 _“Fuck Ella,”_ he groaned out as he spilled inside of her.

 

He all but collapsed on top of her and she stroked her hand through his hair as he rested his cheek on her breast. If he was hurting her she didn’t say and she hummed softly as though trying to lull him to sleep.

 

He remembered his first time. It was with an older girl, Ros. She’d been gorgeous and experienced and had held him just like this after, which had made him feel a little bit like a child but he’d been so pleased with himself it didn’t much matter.

 

This was different though, so much different. She always told him how safe he made her feel, without realising that she made him feel the same. With her arms and legs wrapped around him, her delicate smell surrounding him, he felt safe and loved in a way he’d only ever felt with his family. It should have been strange, that, but it wasn’t, because she was his family. Always had been.

 

They’d always belonged to one another, never more than now.

 

He realised after a time though that she hadn’t said anything, and he realised that he had just made love to the girl of his dreams for the first time, but she’d just lost her virginity and her mind might not be quite as at ease as his. Plus she hadn’t had an orgasm.

 

“You’ll see, honey, it get’s better, you didn’t come this time around but we’ll learn each other and I’ll make you feel so much better.”

 

“It can feel better than that?,” she asked incredulously.

 

“Of course it can,” he said, terrified that she wouldn’t want to try again.

 

He’d still love her and everything and want to be with her of course, but he didn’t want that _entirely_ off the table.

 

“But…it…you,” she said, tears appearing in her eyes, “You felt _good_. It was…,” she said and her lower lip started trembling, “Perfect.”

 

He realised then his error. She’d felt like he was trying to take something away from her, something precious. He got off of her and pulled her into his lap, pressing kisses to her cheeks and temple.

 

“It was,” he confirmed, but she looked skeptical, “I’m such a ninny- I didn’t mean it like that. Ella, of course it was perfect, for me. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and you felt _so_ good, like you were made for me. And I’m so happy that it felt good for you too. I just… it was your first time. It can only get better from here.”

 

She seemed to believe him and rested her head on his shoulder. He let his fingers wander over her silky skin and they sat there for a little while. He’d always enjoyed this with her, the afterwards.

 

He enjoyed the during, of course, but while with other girls he’d always been ready to head out the moment everyone had come, with her he was never in any rush, choosing to stay over most nights and linger in the mornings.

 

He really was such a ninny, he should have known that he was fucked. Just like Theon said.

 

 _Theon_.

 

“Wait El, I know this is a really special moment and everything but I have to tell you something,” he said, “I can’t wait.”

 

“Okay,” she said and he could hear her grin.

 

“Theon and Sansa are together. Like together, together,” he informed her. She was silent for a moment. “I know, I was in shock too.”

 

She giggled and picked her head off his shoulder, turning to look at him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

“Okay, now I have to tell you something,” she said, “I know. I’ve known for a while now.”

 

“Um.”

 

“Well okay, I’ve _suspected_ for a while now,” she amended, “But I found out definitively the night Sansa caught us.”

 

“And you didn’t tell me?,” he asked.

 

She fixed him with a look, “You weren’t answering any of my calls.”

 

“Right,” he nodded, and then mumbled, “You could have texted it to me.”

 

She let out one of her deep belly chuckles that always brought a smile to his face and leaned her head against his, “Alright, the next time I find out about one of your sister’s secret boyfriends, I’ll tell you who it is immediately.”

 

He groaned, because nobody had figured out who Arya was infatuated yet, even though he, Sansa, Theon and Ella had been actively trying to sort it out all summer long. He wasn’t really sure what it was about him and his siblings that made them all so secretive when it came to this stuff, but he’d set a better example for them from now on.

 

Because there was no way he was hiding that he and Ella were together. He couldn’t wait to tell his parents, his Dad would be so proud.

 

“I’m still not happy about it,” he noted stubbornly.

 

She trailed her hand over his forearm and sighed, “I was skeptical too, but you should talk to him. He’s so worried about how you feel.”

 

“You’ve talked to him?,” he asked.

 

“He came over with Sansa yesterday to try to cheer me up,” she said softly, “We sat out back and he told me everything, how it all happened, how he’d been wasting his time with other girls because he never thought he’d get the one he really wanted…,” she trailed off meaningfully, “And you should see them together. They’re really sweet. It’s not like the way she was with Harry, you know, _pliant_ almost… she’s really strong with him, confident, and he’s total mush for her.”

 

He couldn’t really imagine Theon being mush, but if anyone was capable of turning him into it, it was Sansa.

 

“Fine,” he grumbled, “We’ll go to dinner with them tomorrow at the club.”

 

“Sounds very civilised,” she grinned and kissed his cheek, and then whispered in his ear, “Hey Robb?”

 

“Yeah, honey,” he whispered back.

 

“Remember what you were going to do…you know…before…,” she trailed off meaningfully yet again.

 

He grinned, all thoughts of Theon and Sansa and everyone else gone, and tossed her back on the bed making her giggle.

 

He crawled over her wolfishly and said, “You know, I was just thinking I was in the mood for something sweet. I was going to settle for one of your homemade cookies but this is so much better.”

 

He took her thighs in his hands and spread them, lowering his face to her. 

 

“I’ll have you know people love my homemade - _Ohh Robb.”_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments on the last chapter, it really means the world to me.

Ella smoothed her light blue skirt, making sure the matching tank top fell right, twisting this way and that. She tightened her ponytail and secured her gold studs before stepping into a pair of gold flats. She put on a bit of chapstick and grinned when she heard the doorbell ring.

 

She bounded down the stairs, Ser Pounce at her heels as though he knew who was at the door just as much as she did. She sprung it open and there was Robb, wearing a light blue shirt and dark blue khaki shorts.

 

“We match,” she grinned, all but vibrating with excitement.

 

His smile matched her own and he shook his head, “You look so beautiful.”

 

“No you,” she argued and leapt into his arms.

 

He caught her easily and their lips met in a sweet kiss. They pulled apart and looked at each other and she went to kiss his cheek as he went to kiss hers.

 

He squeezed her tightly, and said in her ear, “I missed you. It’s so annoying.”

 

She giggled, “I know, I missed you too.”

 

They’d only said goodbye to one another five hours earlier, but her stomach had been fluttering all day thinking of seeing him again. They’d stayed up late the night before and when they’d woken in the morning they’d been tangled in each other’s arms and their bodies had come together as though they’d been doing it their whole lives.

 

They’d had breakfast on her back deck and then gone back inside and fallen back into bed, and it was only after they’d woken from napping that he’d decided it was time to go home. Though she’d convinced him to stay an hour longer yet.

 

He set her down and stepped back and looked at her, “God damn it I’m a lucky man.”

 

She blushed but tugged him by the collar, “Trust me, baby, I’m the lucky one.”

 

It was true. He was the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen, all broad shoulders and square jaw, bright blue eyes that sparkled with mischief and desire and love when they looked at her. And he was good, so good, and smart and funny. And she loved him. God how she loved him.

 

Better yet, he loved her.

 

He blushed as well and then raised his eyebrows, “I have something for you.”

 

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she told him.

 

“I know, but I did so…,” he said and reached in his pocket and pulled out a small satin bag and offered it to her.

 

She took it from him, pressing a kiss to his lips and then opened the small bag. It was a delicate gold chain with a small pendant on it in the shape of a bouquet.

 

She looked down at it and grinned, running her finger over the gems. She should reprimand him, because she could tell that they were real, emerald and sapphire and amethyst, but she couldn’t seem to.

 

“Wildflowers?,” she asked in a small voice.

 

“Yeah well,” he said bashfully, “It’s going to get cold soon and they won’t be so readily available, so I thought that this might tide you over until springtime when I can pick them again.”

 

She felt a lump in her throat and she didn’t really trust herself to speak. She looked down at the necklace but all she could think of was _tide you over until springtime_. She knew he loved her, she could feel it, but that one little sentence was proof that they weren’t going to be like their friends who all fell in and out of relationships and one another’s beds. That he was thinking about them lasting.

 

Maybe for forever, like she was.

 

“Do you… do you like it?,” he asked which broke her out of her reflection.

 

She smiled at him, “I love it. And you. Thank you. Will you put it on me?”

 

He grinned, “Really?”

 

She scrunched her nose, “Of course really, you ninny.”

 

He chuckled and held his hand out so she placed the necklace in it and turned around. He stepped in close to her and wrapped the necklace around her neck, fastening it. His breath was on her cheek and she couldn’t help but lean back against his strong chest.

 

It probably made it harder for him to fasten the necklace but he didn’t complain, and he laid it flat against her.

 

She turned back around so that he could see it on her.

 

“It looks nice on you,” he told her and then grinned, “But everything does.”

 

She smiled and stepped closer to him, placing her hands on his cheeks, “I love the wildflowers you bring me, because they’re beautiful and special, but I love them most because you’re the one who brings them. It’s the you of it all that I love.”

 

“Let’s go,” he said, his voice taking on the deep quality that always sent shivers down her spine, “Before I drag you upstairs and keep you in bed for a week.”

 

There was something in his eyes, something she’d only seen glimpses of before, and it called to her in a way that nothing ever had. It was impossible to know if she was the moth or the flame but it didn’t quite matter when both would burn.

 

She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in closer to him, delighting in the way his eyes trailed down her face, when they reached her lips she grinned and leaned closer still until their noses touched. She pulled away, her eyes on his all the while, and stepped by him out the front door.

 

“You little minx,” he chuckled, following her and giving her ass a smack.

 

She giggled and he was all manners once again, opening her door and helping her into his truck. He drove them the familiar path to the yacht club, and she closed the window when she felt the nip in the air.

 

He leaned back and grabbed something out of his backseat and handed it to her without looking. It was a soft, navy blue cashmere sweater, and she wrapped it around her shoulders.

 

She slid over the seat and pressed herself against his side, and his arm came around her, warming her more than a sweater ever could. She wasn’t being sappy, he was just an actual furnace.

 

She turned to look at him and he kept his eyes on the road. He always did when he drove her. _Precious cargo_ , he’d called her once.

 

After a moment he grinned, “What?”

 

“This spoiling me thing,” she said, letting her voice fall into the lilt he seemed to love, “Is it gonna last?”

 

“Who knows, honey,” he teased, “Guess you’ll have to stick around and find out.”

 

She pressed a kiss to his cheek and he tightened his arm around her. He slowed as they reached the long drive of the yacht club and the sign that read _5 miles per hour, no motorcycles, no buffoonery._

 

He parked in the members parking lot and they both eased out of his side of the truck. He took hold of her hand and let her up the steps.

 

Familiar members of the staff greeted them, and if they were surprised to see them hand and hand they were far too professional to show it.

 

“Hi Des,” Robb greeted the maitre’d, “I made a reservation for four on the porch.”

 

“Of course, Mr. Robb,” the older gentleman said, “Miss Sansa and Mr. Theon are already outside. And hello to you, Miss Ella.”

 

“Hi handsome,” she grinned as they followed him out.

 

As promised, Sansa and Theon were already seated at the corner table overlooking the water. They were seated with their backs facing the water and Robb’s hand tensed.

 

“Robb?,” she asked softly, waving to their friends.

 

“That fucker thinks _he_ gets to sit with his back to the water?,” Robb said through gritted teeth, “No, nope, no.”

 

She tried to reason with him, “It’s a kind gesture.”

 

“It’s a statement,” he corrected.

 

She rolled her eyes, “You’re being a crazy person.”

 

“You just don’t understand men,” he argued, “This is going on my family’s account. No matter what he says.”

 

“Wow, your Dad is really showing his Dad, huh?,” she teased.

 

He clenched his jaw in annoyance but sputtered out a laugh. She grinned, tugging his hand and pressing her advantage.   
  
“You won’t do any good by punishing him,” she warned him, “He makes her happy. That’s all you want.”

 

“Not _all_ I want,” he grumbled and she dug the nail of her index finger into his palm because they’d made their way to the table.

 

“Dovey!,” she exclaimed, trying to set the tone, “Oh my god that _dress_.”

 

“I know right?,” Sansa grinned, “Just put the finishing touches on it today.”

 

It was beautiful and feminine, just like Sansa. Light pink and sleeveless with a scalloped hem.

 

She and Sansa embraced, kissing each other’s cheeks.

 

“How’s he doing?,” Sansa whispered in her ear.

 

“Just leave him to me,” she whispered back.

 

Sansa released her and she went to greet Theon, “Captain.”

 

“Goldie,” he grinned, kissing her cheek, “Glad to see you back on your feet.”

 

Last year he would have said it teasingly, but there was an earnestness in his tone as he gripped her shoulder gently.

 

He’d been really sweet when he’d come to see her with Sansa, not bothering to tell her she was being silly or that she shouldn’t be moping.

 

_I knew he was sneaking around with someone. Never guessed it’d be you._

 

_What’s wrong with me?_

 

_Nothing, that’s the point. You’re not the kind of girl a guy hides._

 

He’d told that he’d known whoever the girl was, she was someone special. That she’d turned his head in a way it never had been before. That he’d always thought they’d be great together and that she just had to have a little patience, because Robb was a Stark. Quick to anger, slow to think.

 

That had gotten him a smack in the face with a pillow from Sansa, which he’d accepted with a grin before pressing kisses to her cheek and said _Don’t worry, darlin’ you’ve got the Tully brain._

 

“Me too,” she grinned, “Thanks.”

 

They settled into their seats, she taking the spot in between Theon and Robb, figuring that Robb would probably hold off on decking Theon until she and Sansa were out of the line of fire.

 

“So,” Sansa started, picking up her menu, “I’m getting the sole muniere, what’s everyone else getting… WAIT, let me guess.”

 

She grinned, setting down her menu and sitting back in her seat, giving a _proceed_ gesture. Robb and Theon both set their menus down as well, both of them turning to smile at Sansa. Though Robb glared at Theon before doing so.

 

“Hmm…,” Sansa said, tapping a slender finger against her lip. Her eyes wandered over all of them, and then rested back on her, “Alright, El, you’re the easiest.”

 

“Don’t think that’s _entirely_ true,” Theon joked.

 

She and Sansa laughed but Robb didn’t, and she kicked his shin under the table.

 

“What?,” he asked her.

 

She fixed him with a look and he fixed her with one back.

 

“Quit stalling, Dovey,” she challenged.

 

Sansa narrowed her eyes, “You’ll start with a dry martini and the golden beet salad and have the crab cake appetiser as your entree.”

 

Robb and Theon both turned to look at her and she jutted her chin forward prissily, picking up her menu, “I haven’t quite decided yet.”

 

This time Robb did chuckle along with everyone and she placed her hand on his knee and smiled at him.

 

“Do Robb next,” she ordered.

 

Sansa looked at her older brother and he looked at her challengingly back. She grinned and said, “He’s going to have the caesar salad to start, and a burger, rare with cheddar cheese and bacon on it, and an old fashioned - no wait, he’s driving Ella, a beer.”

 

She blushed and Robb’s mouth fell open.

 

“You’re so weird,” he told his sister.

 

She grinned, “You love me anyway. Ask for the truffle fries to go with them, because Ella will want some.”

 

Robb turned to look at her and raised his eyebrows. She grinned, “Pretty please?”

 

Sansa turned her attentions on her boyfriend, “Hmm, Theon Greyjoy, you’re the hardest…”

 

The old Theon would have made a joke about that. She glanced at Robb to see if he’d noticed. If he did he was refusing to look impressed by it.

 

Theon leaned towards her, resting his elbow on the table and his chin in his palm, “Go on, darlin.”

 

Sansa looked over him and then grinned, “Half a dozen oysters to start, the steak frites but you’ll substitute onion rings for the fries and a martini.”

 

“Hot damn,” Theon grinned, smacking his hand on the table.

 

“You’re driving her after a martini?,” Robb asked.

 

Theon turned to him and shook his head, “No, we took the boat here. I figured you’d give us a ride back or we’d call Yara.”

 

“And Mom and Dad are having dinner in the dining room with the Glovers,” Sansa noted, more of an edge in her voice than Theon had, “He never drives me after more than a beer.”

 

“I never drive myself after more than a beer now either,” Theon all but murmured to her, tucking some hair behind her ear.

 

Her expression softened and she turned to him and smiled, leaning into his touch, “That’s right.”

 

Her heart swelled looking at them. She never thought that Theon would look at any girl the way he was looking at Sansa, and she loved how strong Sansa was in his presence. She’d been so meek around Harry, so pliable, always nodding at whatever he said. But she challenged Theon, demanded more from him, and in doing so, made him someone worthy of her.

 

She just hoped Robb would see that in time.

 

She glanced at him and found him looking out at the water. He was being such a grouch.

 

“Well,” she said, “I was thinking that we should do something next Monday, before Theon leaves. Just the four of us. Maybe we could take the sailboat and go to Bear Island, bring a picnic or something?”

 

“Oooh I love that idea,” Sansa nodded eagerly, “Theon?”

 

“Definitely,” Theon nodded, and then looked across the table at his best friend, “Robb?”

 

Robb opened his mouth but then turned to her and said, “Sure, honey. Whatever you want.”

 

_What I want is for you to be nice to your best friend._

 

The waiter came and took their order, and she noted that Sansa had called it exactly right except that Robb did order an Old Fashioned.

 

_I’ll leave the truck here and will get a ride._

 

_I didn’t ask._

 

She and Sansa tried to engage both Robb and Theon in conversation, _together_ , but it didn’t quite work. Everything Theon said, Robb jumped on, until Theon started doing the same.

 

All the while, they were both being extra attentive to her and Sansa. Recalling all of their inside jokes, regardless of whether they made sense to the conversation or not. Theon told her how much he was going to miss her and Robb made Sansa promise to call him three times a week. Robb scooted his chair closer to hers when he ordered his second old fashioned and Theon asked the waiter for extra lemons for Sansa without prompting.

 

It was the strangest pissing match she’d ever seen between them, and she’d seen her fair share.

 

“I’m um, going to go to the powder room,” she said, standing up, “If he comes back can you order me a jasmine tea, please?”

 

“Of course, honey. Want to split the lavender cakes you like?,” Robb asked her.

 

She scrunched her nose, “You don’t like them.”

 

“No, but I like you,” he told her sweetly.

 

It made her want to punch him in the face.

 

“Just the tea is fine,” she said instead.

 

“I’ll join you,” Sansa said, hopping up.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Theon told her.

 

“You’ll survive,” Sansa rolled her eyes and crossed to her.

 

She hooked her arm through hers and they walked through the porch, waving at friends of their parents and friends of theirs. She dutifully stopped by her Uncle Stannis’ table and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. They went inside the powder room and she plopped herself on the couch.

 

“Oh. My. God,” Sansa moaned, sitting down next to her.

 

“It’s… somehow both better and worse than I expected,” she noted.

 

“You weren’t the one being force fed onion rings!,” Sansa argued.

 

She tried to be sympathetic, but, “I really wanted one of those onion rings.”

 

They were both silent for a moment and then Sansa let out a broken laugh and she joined in. Soon they were doubled over, laughing in horror at the boys they loved.

 

“Wh-whe-when Robb started peppering your salad,” Sansa managed.

 

She cackled, “Oh my- what about Theon and… and… and…”

 

“I know,” Sansa giggled.

 

They both leaned back against the couch and she rested her head on Sansa’s shoulder, “They love you so much, Dovey.”

 

Sansa leaned her cheek against the top of her head and sighed, “I just wish they remembered that they love each other too.”

 

Ella nodded, taking her hand, “They will. It’s tough, for Robb, you know. He knows who Theon was before you.”

 

“But he knows who he was too,” Sansa pointed out, “And how you’ve changed him. Doesn’t he have faith in me? That I could change Theon too.”

 

“You know, Dovey, I don’t think I did change Robb. Not really. He’s always been like this with the people he loves. And he loves Theon, he’ll come around. You’ll see. They just need to bury the hatchet.”

 

Sansa was silent for a little while, and she just sat there, content to be sitting with her best friend while the boys they loved waited for them outside.

 

“We could… help, you know,” Sansa said softly.

 

“Help…how?,” Ella wondered.

 

“Harry’s at the bar, did you see him?,” Sansa asked almost casually.

 

“Dovey… what are you thinking?”

 

“Well, nothing unites an army quite so fast as a common enemy…”

 

Ella grinned, “I’m parched, I could really go for another drink. How about you?”

 

Sansa stood up and held her hand out, a mischievous smile on her beautiful face, “I thought you’d never ask.”


	10. Chapter 10

Ella’s tea was getting cold.

 

He and Theon had each ordered another drink and were halfway through them. They’d been sitting in silence since the girls left.

 

He took a sip of his old fashioned and all but slammed the glass down.

 

“They’ve been gone a while,” Theon noted.

 

“Yeah, no shit,” he agreed.

 

“Just say it,” Theon growled at him, “Just say it so that we can get past this.”

 

He was so annoyed with everyone telling him to get over it. It wasn’t like he’d been sulking for a week, he’d only found out yesterday.

 

He had to admit that Ella was right, Theon and Sansa were kind of sweet together. She was different with him than she had been with Harry, just like Ella said. Stronger, more herself.

 

How could she pretend when he’d known her since she was born?

 

Even still, he didn’t like it.

 

Theon was a great friend but was awful with girls. Robb knew that he hadn’t been a saint but he’d always prided himself on being better than _Theon_. And now his yardstick was dating his little sister.

 

He could have almost forgiven Theon for loving her, if he didn’t think about how they’d gotten together when he didn’t.

 

“How did it start?,” he asked.

 

Theon sighed, running his hand through his hair, “I um, was walking her home from a party. It was one that you and Ella weren’t at. Harry was there, you know they’d um… well I guess they’d been dating a bit, but he was there with Roslin. I was playing beer pong with Willem and she brushed by me crying so I followed her out. You know um… I didn’t want her walking home alone.”

 

“Because she was so much safer with you,” he growled.

 

“Fuck you, dude,” Theon spat at him, “You may hate me for dating her but don’t fucking say something like that. You know I’d never do anything to her, god how much of a dick do you think I am?”

 

Robb sighed and acknowledged, “Sorry, that was out of line. Keep going.”

 

Theon took a sip of his martini and set it down, “So anyway, we were walking back and I was trying to get her to tell me what had been going on, you know, figure out the degree to which we had to murder Harry, and she just… she was so sad. I couldn't understand it, I mean, I knew that she had feelings for him, but I didn’t think they went that deep.” He was tempted to cut in with Theon taking advantage of her feelings, but he bit his tongue, not being quite able to hurt him once again in spite of his anger. “Anyway, I got her laughing, I guess, and I walked her back to your house, talked to your parents for a bit and left.”

 

Robb glanced at him, “You left?”

 

“Yeah,” Theon nodded, “What was I going to do? She was your sister. So what if she’s the most beautiful girl in the whole fucking world. She’s your sister. So I left. And she texted me when I got home. And I got these… fucking… I don’t know it’s like every time she texted I got…”

 

“Butterflies?,” Robb supplied, thinking of how excited he got when Ella texted him.

 

“Yeah,” Theon nodded, “It was so annoying. Anyway, you and I were supposed to go sailing the next day, but you cancelled. Don’t have to guess what you were doing now, and Sansa told me Ella was busy so I took her. We um, just hung out, and I don’t know, we talked and… and I just realised how much she’d grown up, you know? Not like… _physically_ , she was just… she’s not a kid anymore and we got to talking about being down in the Reach together for school and how she wanted to come to parties at my school because hers would be all girls practically and I just thought about how difficult it was going to be to keep guys away from her and I said so and she got really angry at me. Like… so mad.”

 

Robb bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, because Theon looked terrified even now, “Why?”

 

“Because, and I quote _I’ve never been properly kissed so unless you’re going to do it I suggest you leave me to it,_ ” Theon said, perfectly impersonating Sansa’s haughty tone of annoyance. He glanced at him nervously though and went on, “And I told her _You know I can’t do that_. And she said, _Because of Robb_. And I said, _Yes._ And she said, _He’s currently kissing my best friend every chance he gets, I see no reason why I shouldn’t do the same_. And I was so confused, you know, because I didn’t believe her, that you and Ella were together though I obviously should’ve, that it took me a really long time to figure out what else she’d said. And I finally asked her, _Wait, what?_ and then she kissed me. And my whole fucking world changed. I was going to ignore it, you know, my feelings for her. I’d had a crush on her for a while, how could I not? But she was off-limits, right? And then I realised how fucking _fucked up_ that is… well, she kind of helped me realise that. You know, that she’s her own person, not just your sister, and isn’t it kind of backwards for me to think of her as your property?”

 

Robb chuckled, because it sounded like Sansa. She’d said as much to him before.

 

“So basically you’re blaming it all on Sansa?,” he clarified though.

 

“Yeah,” Theon nodded, “No matter how you look at it, it’s all her fault. Because the thing is, Robb, I love you, you’re my best friend, and I’d do anything for you, apart from one thing.”

 

“Giving her up?,” Robb guessed.

 

“Yeah,” Theon sighed, “You know, um, things have changed. My loyalty is to her now. I love her, man, I really fucking love her, and I’m sorry if that pisses you off but it doesn’t change anything. She comes first.”

 

Robb finished his drink.

 

“Fine,” he sighed, “I’m over it.”

 

“Really?,” Theon grinned.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, because all he wanted for Sansa was someone who put her first. Who’d stand up to anyone, anything for her. Even him, apparently. “But if you so much as look at another fucking girl I swear to god.”

 

Theon chuckled, “No worries there. She owns me, it’s…demeaning.”

 

Robb nodded, so excited that someone else was experiencing it too, “Right? Like… why can’t I even find other girls hot now? It’s so obnoxious. You were right, by the way. With Ella? I’m totally fucked.”

 

Theon finished his drink, “Yeah um, on a different night I definitely want to hear about how that all started because good god I never thought you’d get the balls to do it.”

 

Robb scoffed, “Excuse me?”

 

Theon rolled his eyes, “You’ve loved her for years.”

 

“WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS?,” he all but shouted at Theon.

 

“Because we thought you _knew_ ,” Theon explained, which was kind of fair enough.

 

Robb glanced at Ella’s tea, “Where are they?”

 

“Probably hanging out in the bathroom until we kiss and make up,” Theon guessed.

 

Robb nodded and waved to a female waitress, she came over and he said, “I think our dates are in the bathroom, could you tell them it’s safe to come out now?”

 

She furrowed her brow, “Your dates? The blonde and the redhead?,” he and Theon nodded, and she gave them a sympathetic look. _They wouldn’t have left, would they? Yes, of course they would have, to prove a point_. “They’re at the bar…”

 

Theon chuckled, “Can you please ask our waiter to put this on 2211?”

 

Robb shook his head, “1278.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “I’ll split it.”

 

Both he and Theon stood up, thanking her, and walked across the porch. They waved to a few people they knew, and he had to actively stop himself from walking over to Ella’s Uncle Stannis and punching him in the face for being such a shit Dad.

 

Theon patted him on the back though and they kept walking into the bar.

 

He expected to find Sansa and Ella there, a pair of martinis or glasses of rose in front of them, looking very pleased with themselves.

 

Instead, he found them talking to Harry and Trystane.

 

“Well, well, well,” Ella grinned at him, “ _Look_ who it is.”

 

“Your tea got cold,” he informed her and her smile widened.

 

Annoyingly it beckoned his own.

 

She held up her martini, “I was in the mood for something stronger.”

 

“And you?,” Theon asked Sansa.

 

“Me too,” his sister said, taking a casual sip of her martini and winking at Theon.

 

“Which is why they found us,” Harry said stupidly, and then ran his hand down Sansa’s arm, “Isn’t it, gorgeous?”

 

His stomach churned in annoyance and he glanced at Theon who was clenching his fists.

 

Ella’s eyes went wide and she turned to Harry and Trystane and said, “Well you know, it’s been fun catching up and everything but… we should be heading out.”

 

With that she tugged on Sansa’s arm and moved to walk towards them.

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” Harry shook his head, stepping in front of her, “You can’t just leave.”

 

“Actually I can,” Ella argued, and Harry made the dumbest move of all and tried to stop her with his hand on her arm.

 

He crossed the short distance to him and turned him around, “Keep your hands off her. Unless you want to lose ‘em.”

 

“Robb,” Ella interjected.

 

Harry grinned at him though and released her, “What are you going to do about it, Stark? Because the way I see it, you’re an awful lot of talk.”

 

Robb chuckled, and Harry shoved him. He was about to deck him when Theon stepped in front of him.

 

“Listen up, Hardyng, hitting on Sansa? _Bad move._ Grabbing Ella? _Bad fucking move, man_. Now you’re going to push my boy? You’ve got a death wish, don’t you? Touch any of them again and I will fucking _end_ you,” Theon promised, his forehead against Harry’s.

 

Harry looked for a moment like he’d do it. Harry wasn’t the type to back down from a fight and neither was Theon, and neither was he for that matter, but he wasn’t particularly keen to have to explain to his parents why they were no longer welcome at the club.

 

“Come on,” he said to Theon, grabbing his arm, “He’s not worth it. He’s just bullshit because he knows he’ll never get another chance with them.”

 

Theon chuckled, and pushed Harry to the side, placing his body in between him and the girls. Sansa and Ella walked by, their eyes downcast.

 

Trystane spoke for the first time, “Ella, I’m sorry.”

 

Robb glanced at him, he really did look sorry. He could have come to Harry’s defence, but he hadn’t.

 

Robb felt Ella’s hand slip into his and she said to Trystane, “You’re a good guy, Trystane,” and then she tugged on Theon’s shirt sleeve, and added, “You just need better friends, that’s all.”

 

He pulled her hand and placed his other on Sansa’s back, pulling and pushing them forward towards the exit. He glanced back at Ella who was still holding onto Theon’s shirt sleeve, clearly not trusting that they’d follow behind.

 

They walked out of the club into the cool August air, and he settled his sweater around Ella’s shoulders.

 

“Ladies,” Theon sighed, “I think you owe us an apology.”

 

Robb furrowed his brow at him but then glanced at Ella and Sansa who were both looking at the ground.

 

He crossed his arms, not totally understanding yet but also not willing to risk the chance to lord whatever it was over them. He never had the upper hand with either of them.

 

“Well?,” he asked stubbornly, because he didn’t have anymore information.

 

“Well Sansa thought -,” Ella started but stopped when Sansa smacked her arm. He and Theon glanced at each other and he could tell that Theon was trying not to smile just as much as he was. “ _We_ thought that… if you saw someone you _really_ didn’t like… you might… remember… that you like each other?”

 

Robb’s mouth fell open, “You set us up?”

 

“Only a little,” Sansa said softly.

 

He was fully intending to milk it a little longer but Theon sputtered out a laugh. The girls looked up at him and grinned, and they both looked so hopeful that he couldn’t help but laugh as well.

 

In truth, it was a pretty good plan.

 

Ella hopped into his arms and he caught her to him, “Will you forgive me?,” she asked, cocking her head to the side and looking up at him with her jadeite eyes.

 

“Anything,” he told her honestly, though unintentionally.

 

“Anything?,” she asked softly, a small smile on her face.

 

He nodded, because he understood what Theon meant. She’d changed him irrevocably. Loving her, being loved by her. He’d never recover from it. There was nothing she could ever do that he wouldn’t forgive.

 

Least of all this.

 

“So Theon and I kissed and made up…,” he told her and leaned closer to her, “When can we?”

 

Her eyes trailed down to his lips and then back up to his eyes, “Take me home and teach me something new.”

 

He was too busy calling an uber to much mind Sansa gagging in the background.

 

*

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she sighed against his lips, squealing and giggling as he banged her up against the door by accident. “You do realise you just tanked your uber rating.”

 

He grinned, turning her around so that she could unlock the door, “Worth it.”

 

There was no one around, her family was all gone, once again and the driver couldn’t wait to get rid of them. It was dark, and they were alone.

 

“Robb!,” she admonished as his hands wandered up her body and took hold of her breasts. He pulled her back against him, kissing her temple, rubbing her breasts. “We’re outside.”

 

“No one’s around,” he pointed out, his chuckle half breaking as she pressed her ass against his cock, “Fuck _Ella_.”

 

She reached behind her and wrapped her arm around his neck, grinding against him, “What’s wrong, _baby_? No one’s around…”

 

“You used to be so shy,” he groaned, covering her hand in his over the key and turning it, all but pushing her inside.

 

She turned around and grinned, pushing him against the door playfully. She leaned her body against his, looking up at him with wide eyes.

 

“Is that what you want?,” she asked, “Your shy, innocent, flower?”

 

He pulled her by the back of her head and kissed her deeply. She let her tongue slip against his as she started unbuttoning his shirt. He reached around her top, searching for buttons or a zipper anything to get it off but found nothing. He groaned in frustration and she giggled against his lips.

 

She pushed out his arms and gave him a small smile, taking hold of her shirt and showing him the zipper that seemed to go up one side. She raised her eyebrow meaningfully at him, so he continued unbuttoning his shirt. She dragged the zipper up slowly and he took his shirt off fully.

 

Her eyes wandered down his body hungrily, and she pulled her shirt over her head.

 

He was rock hard when he realised she was wearing the black thing, his favourite. All lace and low cut, and he knew that her perfect ass cheeks would be peeking out a little.

 

“You’ve been wearing that all night?,” he asked her.

 

She nodded, walking towards him once again, her fingers scratching his chest hair, “I got so wet thinking about you seeing me in it.”

 

“Is that right?,” he asked her, his hands wandering up the backs of her legs, underneath her skirt. He gripped her butt, smacking it once, and then moved one of his hands in front of her and pressed it against her cunt through her panties. She was dripping. “What else were you thinking about?”

 

“You never answered me,” she reminded him.

 

He wrapped his arms around her waist, unzipping her skirt and letting it drop to the floor, “I want _you,_ Myrcella Penelope Baratheon. Priss. Goddess. Wildflower. I’ll take any version of you that I can get, because I love you and you drive me fucking crazy.”

 

She pressed a kiss to his chest, and another, her fingers unbuckling his belt and then unbuttoning his shorts. She unzipped them as her tongue licked around his nipple, and he his hands disappeared in her hair because all he wanted was for her to keep doing what she was doing.

 

She pulled his shorts down, but when her fingers when to the waistband of his boxers he stopped her.

 

She looked up at him in confusion, which was fair because he’d never stopped her before.

 

“Aren’t you sore?,” he asked.

 

They’d had sex four times between last night earlier today, and though he’d tried to be gentle he had to imagine she was in a bit of pain. Especially after she’d gotten on top of him.

 

Which wasn’t a good thing to think about when trying not to have sex with your girlfriend.

 

“A little,” she admitted.

 

He was about to tell her that they could just hang out, kiss, watch a movie. He was going to ask her if she wanted him to run her a bath, he’d even take one with her if she wanted.

 

But then she dropped to her knees.

 

“Ella?,” he gulped.

 

She looked up at him and she was the Ella from two months ago. The one who’d worried she wasn’t a good kisser. The one who couldn’t seem to understand why he wanted to kiss her in the first place.

 

“I told you I wanted you to teach me something new,” she reminded him. And pulled down his boxers. “You’ve never asked me to do this.”

 

He wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to have a coherent conversation when he was standing in his girlfriend’s foyer completely naked, while she was wearing sexy lingerie and his dick was an inch from her perfect mouth and she was looking up at him with pleading eyes.

 

“I um…,” he tried, closing his eyes, “I didn’t want to… _holy fuck,_ ” he whimpered as her hands moved up his thighs. He felt like a virgin in front of a goddess. “I didn’t want to pressure you.”

 

“But you want me to, right?,” she asked softly.

 

“Yes,” he said, his eyes opening, “Yes, _fuck yes_.”

 

“Just tell me if I do it wrong,” she pleaded and he nodded.

 

She kept her eyes on his as she opened her mouth and took his tip inside. He moaned as he felt her wet tongue against it, and she took it for the encouragement it was and took more of him in.

 

She slid off of him with a _pop_ and he groaned, and she let her lips glide over him again, taking him further, so far that he felt himself at the back of her throat. She gagged a bit.

 

“Not so, you don’t have to,” he couldn’t speak coherently.

 

She leaned back and shook her head, “I can’t fit you all the way. You’re too big.”

 

“ _God damn it_ you’re going to make me come,” he said through gritted teeth, “Your hand. You can use your hand.”

 

She looked down at her palm and then, to his immense surprise, spit in it. He’d never seen her spit in her entire life. Even when she brushed her teeth in front of him she placed her hand on the side of her face so he couldn’t see.

 

For some reason it was incredibly sexy.

 

She took him back in her mouth and her hand wrapped around the base of his cock and she started moving back and forth. Her mouth was warm and wet and her hand firm around his cock just the way he’d taught her.

 

“Fuck, Ella,” he moaned, “So fucking good, honey.”

 

Her mouth became like a suction cup and he couldn’t help but arch his hips against her. He was about to apologise to her but his little minx smiled around his cock, her hand reaching up to hold his balls.

 

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m going to come, stop, stop, stop_ ,” he pleaded, but she just kept going. _“Fuck I can’t-“_

 

He released into her, gripping her hair, and she kept sucking him until he stopped. He pulled on her hair as gently as he could and she looked up at him and slowly pulled off his cock.

 

He hissed, he’d never been so fucking tender in his whole life, and she looked up at him in concern.

 

“Was that okay?,” she asked softly, rubbing his leg comfortingly.

 

He stroked his hand in her hair and leaned his head against the door, trying to catch his breath.

 

She pressed a kiss to his thigh, her eyes locked on his face.

 

He knelt down and took her cheek in his hand and kissed her gently. She kissed him back, her mouth closed and he pried them open. He could taste himself on her lips but he was surprised that he didn’t mind.

 

He kissed her and then leaned his forehead against hers.

 

“More than,” he confirmed, “I’m not um… thinking straight right now but yes.”

 

She smiled and kissed him again and then pulled away, “Good, but next time remind me not do this on a marble floor.”

 

He looked down at her and saw her and winced, “Oh honey…”

 

“I’m okay,” she smiled.

 

He scooped her up in his arms and she wrapped hers around his neck. She stroked her hand through his hair and leaned her cheek on his shoulder.

 

“Robb?,” she asked softly.

 

“Yeah honey?”

 

“You really don’t mind, do you?,” she asked.

 

“Carrying you? No,” he told her honestly, as he padded down the hallway to her bedroom.

 

He loved holding her.

 

“No,” she said, lifting her head off his shoulder and looking at him, “That I’m not… you know… as soft and innocent as I used to be.”

 

His brow furrowed and he laid her down on the bed, sitting next to her. He tried to think of what to say in answer to that, but he couldn’t, because he didn’t understand.

 

“Who said you’re not?,” he wondered, his knuckle trailing down her cheek.

 

“You did,” she pointed out.

 

“No,” he argued, because he had never, would never say that. “I said you weren’t shy anymore. And I was teasing you mostly, but you aren’t, with me. And that’s good, you know, I think because some of that shyness came from not being certain… about how I felt, or being afraid that I might not want you. So I’m glad you’re not shy with me anymore, because that means that you’re comfortable and… secure in that.”

 

She nodded, taking his hand, “I am… it… I can feel it, all the time now. It’s wrapped around me like a blanket. I’m surer of it than anything else in this world.”

 

“But honey,” he went on, because this bit was important to him, “Your softness? Your innocence? That’s not tied to sex. That’s who you _are_. You know, this isn’t the middle ages, I didn’t take your _virtue_ or anything,” he told her and she giggled. “Your body may be perfect, Ella, but your heart is pure.”

 

She looked up at him and a tear fell out of her eyes. He wiped it with his thumb, and she held his hand and wrist and pressed a kiss to his palm. _I love you_ she whispered against it.

 

 _I love you_ he mouthed to her.

 

He looked down at her, and let his hand wander over her lace covered abdomen.

 

“I can’t believe you were wearing this all night,” he grinned. “If I’d known…”

 

“What would you have done?,” she asked.

 

He glanced at her and there was a challenge in her eyes, heat simmering there. He trailed his hand up her body and took hold of her throat lightly. Wildfire exploded like it always seemed to when he did this.

 

They hadn’t explored it yet. It had been less than a week ago since he’d smacked her ass for the first time. But he could see it. Her desires a perfect companion to his. Naturally.

 

He tightened his grip slightly and she gasped.

 

“Do you really want to know?,” he wondered. She nodded. He squeezed gently, “Answer me, honey.”

 

“Yes,” she pleaded, her hips rising off the bed ever so slightly.

 

Anyone else might have missed it, but at this point he’d probably notice if she lost a single eyelash.

 

“I’d have taken you in the bathroom, or a coat closet, and slid your panties to the side,” he told her. She bit her lip, her fingers scrunching in the sheets, “And had my way with you.”

 

“We’d get caught,” she prompted him.

 

He grinned slightly and leaned over her and whispered in her ear, “I’d have covered your mouth, so nobody could hear the way you moan for me.”

 

“ _Robb,_ ” she whimpered.

 

He looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed, as was her neck. Her nipples were peaked. And she was rubbing her legs together.

 

“What do you want, El?,” he asked her.

 

He knew, but he wanted to hear her say it.

 

“Touch me, touch me _please touch me_ ,” she begged.

 

He shifted so that he was straddling her. His hand still on her throat and he squeezed her breast with the other, a bit harder than he usually might. She moaned, louder than she usually did.

 

He moved his hand down her body and cupped her over her panties. She really was soaking wet and he could feel the heat of her.

 

“Fuck El,” he groaned, slipping her panties to the side and rubbing her.

 

He pushed a finger inside of her, tightening his grip on her neck as he did.

 

“ _Ow,_ ” she whimpered in pain.

 

He removed his hands from her immediately, pushing her hair off her face as gently as he could.

 

“Honey, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry, I thought you were enjoying it but I pushed too far I’m so sorry.”

 

“No,” she shook her head, “No I did. I just… I _am_ really sore, I guess.”

 

He looked down her body and could see her legs clenched together.

 

“Can you sit up, please?,” he asked and she did.

 

He knelt above her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, before easing the straps of her lingerie down. He pushed her back down on the bed gently and pulled it down her body.

 

He stopped so that he could press a kiss to her breast, taking her nipple in his mouth and sucking on it. He felt her hands in his hair so he moved to the other, kissing underneath her breast and the side, all the spots of her that he’d learned were sensitive over the past couple months.

 

He continued pulling it down and she raised her hips slightly. He got off of her for a moment so that he could pull it off entirely. He lifted her legs, nipped her heel, trailing his fingers over her thigh.

 

He pulled her thighs opened and looked at her. She was glistening for him, pink and perfect. He laid down on his stomach though and looked, and he could see that she must be sore.

 

He pressed a whisper of a kiss to her and she gasped.

 

“Did that hurt?,” he wondered.

 

“No,” she told him, “It felt good.”

 

He hooked her legs more firmly over his shoulders, his hands moving up her body to rest on her stomach and he pressed his lips to her again. He licked at her, tasting her sweetness and he heard her delighted sigh.

 

He felt her hand take hold of his and he interlaced their fingers, his tongue searching for her pearl. He found it easily and her nails dug into him when he sucked on it.

 

He pulled back, kissing her softly, his tongue wandering over her.

 

He looked up at her and groaned. Her back was arched, her head thrown back against the pillows, one of her hands holding his and the other squeezing her own breast.

 

He found her pearl again and ran his tongue over it and she cried out, in pleasure this time, so he did it again. And again. And again.

 

“ _Robb_ ,” she cried.

 

He could die now a happy man. Her thighs on either side of his head, his name tumbling from her lips like a prayer.

 

He gave her pearl one final suck and her legs lifted off his shoulders, her head off the bed entirely as though she was going to curl in on him completely and she came in waves, the hand that had been on her breast abandoning it in favour of his hair.

 

He licked her through her aftershock and right into another orgasm. He’d never given her two in a row before and she let out a surprised cry.

 

She collapsed on the bed, completely limp, rolling into the fetal position.

 

He crawled up her boy and lay behind her, pulling her into his arms, kissing her shoulder.

 

“I thought that was an urban legend,” she said when her breathing had steadied, though her heart was still racing.

 

“What?”

 

“Multiple orgasms,” she said and then let out a delighted laugh, her body pressing against his, her cheek nuzzling his. “Oh my god, Hoster, it’s a good thing you’re a good guy.”

 

He grinned at her use of his middle name and hugged her tighter.

 

“Sure is, Penelope,” he agreed, “Otherwise I wouldn’tve gotten you.”

 

“Otherwise you could do whatever you wanted with me,” she corrected and he pushed himself up slightly so he could look down at her. She looked up at him and stroked his cheek and jaw. “You have such power over me, haven’t you noticed?”

 

He nodded, because he had and he’d never lie to her if he could help it. He kissed her wrist.

 

“I know, I’ve…I’ve noticed, and I have to be honest, I like it. But the thing is, El… it’s you who has the real power over me,” he told her, “I notice everything about you, every single thing, the flicker of your eyes, the catch of your breath, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I don’t want to, of course, but it’s more than that. I _can’t_. My body won’t let me. Every bit of me is loyal to you,” he thought about what Theon had said, “And you will always come first.”

 

She wrapped her arm around his neck and tackled him back to the bed. Her legs fell on either side of him and she leaned her head against his chest.

 

“Promise me something,” she asked.

 

“Anything,” he agreed, his fingers trailing up and down her back.

 

“End it,” she sighed, “The minute you stop feeling that way. The moment you stop loving me this way. End it. I never want to know what it is to have you and have lost you at the same time.”

 

It was the easiest promised he’d ever make. It’s easy to promise a solution to a problem that will never happen.

 

She didn’t want to hear that though. She’d press him on it. Remind him they were young. She’d tell him that her looks might go, or she could end up just like her mother. She’d tell him that he had no idea who they were going to be five years from now or ten and she wouldn’t want to hear that every version of him would always love every version of her.

 

She didn’t want his assurance that he’d love her forever. She wanted him to promise that he’d never put her through the pain of being with him when he didn’t.

 

So he simply said, “Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.many.feels.
> 
> more plot next chapter, Robbcella are off to college!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *cue Stefon voice* yessssyessyesss... this chapter has everything... Papa Ned, sex, Pod?! That thing where Robb is literally the sweetest boyfriend ever...

The landscape had turned beautiful once again about an hour before. They’d been on long stretches of boring highway for hours. She’d fallen asleep for some of it but Robb had nudged her leg and she’d woken in another world.

 

She’d loved The Vale for as long as she could remember. Her mother had wanted her to go to university in King’s Landing, like she and her father and her brothers, like Joffrey, but Ella had always wanted to come here.

 

She’d been raised on stories of it, the place where Ned and her father met. The drunken nights and the time they’d lead a search party in the snow. All the stories made her think of cozy sweaters and snow boots, crackling fires and rugby games won in the snow. Hearing them was like looking at a vintage photograph, everyone slim with ruddy cheeks and bright eyes, an innocuous moment captured for eternity.

 

“Which mountain is best?,” she wondered.

 

“I think Arryn is my favourite,” Robb said and Ned nodded in agreement from the driver’s seat. Robb turned around from his place in the passenger seat and explained, “But we’ll get you a freedom pass that allows you to go to any of the mountains. You can sign up for it during orientation.”

 

“I need new boots,” she told him, “Mine hardly made it through last winter.”

 

“Your poles are shot too,” he agreed, “We’ll get you all set up. I want it to be a fair fight when I leave you in the dust.”

 

Ned chuckled and she leaned her head in between the two seats, and turned to him, “Are you going to let him speak to me that way?”

 

He grinned, but his eyes stayed on the road, just like his son’s did when he drove her. He switched lanes, shaking his head when another car sped past them.

 

“He’s full of shit and he knows it,” Ned assured her, “He’s been following you down the mountain since the winter you learned to ski.”

 

Robb guffawed and she turned to look at him and he shrugged, “Just admiring the view I guess.”

 

She giggled and leaned back, pulling her hair into a bun on the top of her head. It was by no means her first road trip with these two, but it was her first just the three of them. Usually she and Sansa were in the way way back, talking or listening to one of their playlists, each with one earbud.

 

But Sansa had left for Highgarden the week before and had already started classes.

 

Ned and Robb were the best consolation prizes she could imagine though. She loved Ned, always had. He and her father had fallen out over the years, and she suspected quite a bit of it had to do with her, but he’d always treated her like one of his own children.

 

When she’d gotten into The Vale she’d surprised him at his office. He’d been in a meeting and she’d told his secretary that she could wait, but she’d simply said _He always wants to be interrupted for one of his kids_. He’d come out into the hall and she’d told him and he’d whooped and picked her up, swinging her around like she was no more than a girl of six. He’d apologised to his colleagues and left for the rest of the day, taking her out for an early dinner where they’d spent the whole time discussing what her four years could look like and her pestering him for details of his own college experience.

 

The next day a sweatshirt had arrived from the campus store along with a note.

 

_Ella,_

 

_There was never any doubt in my mind that you’d get in, there has never been any doubt that you will achieve everything you want to._

 

_Even still, I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you how very proud of you I am, and how special it is to share in your successes._

 

_Robb will be there to look out for you, but if you run into any trouble, you know I’m just a phone call away._

 

_I love you, angel, and I always will._

 

_Ned_

 

“How are you doing, angel?,” Ned asked, glancing at her in the rearview.

 

“I’m okay,” she lied. “Cool as a cucumber.”

 

Robb and Ned shared a glance and chuckled, seeing right through her. She knew that she would be fine, ultimately. But college was a big deal, a big step.

 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Ned told her, “I had to pull over and get Robb a drink about a half hour out last year.”

 

She giggled and all but shrieked, “WHAT?!”

 

Robb glared at his father, his cheeks red, “Thanks Dad.”

 

“Anytime, son,” Ned chuckled. “The point is, it’s okay to be nervous. It’s a big step, but you’re ready for it. I just don’t know that The Vale is ready for you.”

 

Robb turned to her, a grin now on his face. Ned’s pep talks were notorious amongst his children. They were usually peppered with cliches but none of them much minded, because it was impossible not to believe in yourself when he believed in you.

 

She sighed, “I guess, I guess I’m just mostly worried that my clothes won’t all fit.”

 

Both Ned and Robb let out a howl of laughter, Robb turning around.

 

“Now _that_ is a legitimate fear, angel,” Ned agreed, “I’m a bit worried about that one myself.”

 

She and Eglantine had worked really hard to downsize, leaving some of the more ridiculous garments that her mother had purchased for her at home, but even still, 90% of the baggage in the truck was hers. In her defence, Robb had moved a lot of stuff into his house after freshman year, but still.

 

“Don’t worry, honey,” Robb said, typing something on his phone, “Whatever doesn’t fit in your room, we’ll just put in my closet.”

 

It was said so unceremoniously. As though that were the obvious solution. As though he’d already thought about it and it seemed perfectly normal that some of her clothes would be at his home. That she could treat his closet like her own.

 

She wondered if he’d ever run out of ways to tell her he loved her.

 

She sincerely hoped he didn’t.

 

“Okay,” she said, just as casually.

 

Robb didn’t seem to think anything of it, but Ned caught her eye in the rearview. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes crinkled at her and she knew that he knew too. What it meant and how it made her feel. That he was happy they’d finally found one another in the way that they were always meant to. That neither of them could’ve chosen better.

 

She took a deep breath and looked out the window, smiling to herself.

 

It was always impossible not to believe in yourself when he believed in you.

 

*

 

“This is…,” she started.

 

“A dump,” Ned finished for her.

 

The house in question was an enormous colonial, with a large porch out front. Fifty years ago it had probably been rather impressive, but years of students living in it had turned it into a decaying skeleton.

 

“I love it,” she grinned, meaning it.

 

Robb turned to her, a small smile on his face, “I know, right? It’s perfect.”

 

She nodded and followed him into the house, his backpack slung over her shoulder. She had been upset at first that Catelyn wouldn’t be coming with them to move them in, but now she was grateful. She would have had a heart attack.

 

But Robb was right, it was perfect. They had their whole lives to live in shiny high rises and sprawling, maintained, mansions. But for now, this was exactly right. A house that had seen enough horrors that they wouldn’t crumble it.

 

Ned followed behind with a duffle of Robb’s, and grabbed her arm as she went to walk up the stairs. She turned and smiled at him and he gave her a sheepish smile as the staircase creaked underneath them.

 

Robb unlocked the door and all of her support went right out the window as she stepped outside.

 

“Oh my god, it reeks,” she groaned, plugging her nose.

 

Robb chuckled and then let out a howl. From all corners of the house, howls returned and then a stampede of boys ran into the foyer from more directions than she could have imagined.

 

There were five of them in total, all in various states of dress. Or undress really. Ned dropped Robb’s duffle and then went back out to the car to grab the last of it, and probably to give Robb a minute to greet his friends alone. She wondered if she should do the same.

 

One, wearing a lacrosse pinny and sweatpants stepped forward and shook Robb’s hand. He was enormous, with sandy brown hair and three days of scruff on his face.

 

“Grenn, how’s it going?,” Robb asked.

 

“Good, good man,” Grenn nodded, glancing curiously at her.

 

She smiled at him, but her attention was drawn by someone else.

 

“Hellooooo there, Maester,” she said to Sam Tarly.

 

“Hello Miss Ella,” he smiled shyly at her and she dropped Robb’s backpack and went and kissed his cheek.

 

Sam and his brother Dickon were in Robb's and her years respectively. Another family they’d grown up with. Dickon ran with Trystane and Harry’s crowd, he was a good guy overlal though, but Sam had always been sweetness personified and they’d had a bunch of classes together in high school.

 

“I can’t wait to meet Gilly,” she told him.

 

Apparently he’d found love in his freshman year.

 

“She’s really looking forward to it, she’ll be here tonight, will you?,” Sam asked.

 

“Oh,” she furrowed her brow and glanced at Robb, “I don’t know…”

 

“We’re having a party,” Robb informed her, “I um… can we talk about it later?” She nodded and he grinned, greeting the other guys. They all did that weird man hug thing and then he returned to her side and wrapped his arm around her, “And guys, this is Ella. My girlfriend.”

 

One of them let out a surprised laugh, and she bit her lip to keep from smiling.

 

“I’m serious,” Robb said.

 

The one who’d laughed gulped and looked at her, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you.”

 

“I know,” she promised, “You’re just surprised because he’s such a slut.”

 

“Ella!,” Robb admonished.

 

She gave the one who’d laughed an _oh-shit_ expression and he grinned, stepping forward. He was gorgeous, with his black curls pulled into a bun off his face, dressed in all black.

 

“You must be Jon,” she guessed.

 

He looked surprised, and pleased, that she knew who he was and he held out his hand to her, “Ella, is it?”

 

“That’s me,” she nodded.

 

He smiled at her, but only with his eyes and said, “So you’re the one.”

 

He said it like he’d always known there was someone. Like there had always been more to Robb than just the playboy.

 

“If not I’m going to scratch her eyes out,” she shrugged and he chuckled.

 

“Pretty and scrappy,” Jon nodded, and then turned to Robb, “Well done, Stark. Is there more stuff in the truck?”

 

“It’s all Ella’s,” Robb said, “We just got her keys and have got to go move her in.”

 

“Need help?,” Grenn asked.

 

“Oh you guys don’t -,” she started but Robb interrupted, “Yes.”

 

“They shouldn’t have to move in my things, Robb,” she pointed out.

 

He turned to her and challenged, “Oh but I should have to move it all in myself?”

 

“Yes,” she said stubbornly.

 

The guys laughed and so did Robb who grabbed her hand and kissed her palm.

 

“Don’t worry, Ella,” Grenn said, wrapping his arm around her, “You’re just giving us a chance to scope out the hottest freshman girls.”

 

She grinned, looking up at him, “Quid pro quo, eh?”

 

“Huh?,” Grenn asked and she blushed.

 

“Smartypants too?,” Jon asked, walking by them and slapping Robb on the back, “No chance she’ll stick with you then.”

 

Robb chased after him, the two of them wrestling like kids and she walked out flanked by Grenn and another guy named Pip on either side of her, the pair of them cracking her up as they commented on Robb and Jon’s chances of winning.

 

She’d been at school for all of five minutes and she’d already amassed a pack of wolves. Her mother would be so disappointed.

 

Ella grinned in delight.

 

*

 

Ella gasped in fear.

 

“Woah, it’s huge,” Edd commented.

 

He either had the driest sense of humour of anyone she’d ever met or he was serious. She looked at him and determined it was the latter.

 

It was a prison cell.

 

“I…,” she started, trying to figure out how not to look like a spoiled child in front of all of Robb’s friends.

 

Robb turned around, blocking her view of the room, “It’s going to be fine.”

 

“But -,” she started.

 

He took her cheeks in his hands, “Trust me, honey, it’s going to be fine. I just need you to leave.”

 

“But…all my stuff…,” she pointed out.

 

He smiled, “I know, I’m going to handle it. I promise. I just can’t do that while you’re having a panic attack.”

 

She looked up into his blue eyes and calm washed over her. Nothing could be so terrible if he was looking at her like that.

 

She nodded but then shook her head, “I can’t leave you to do all of it.”

 

He grinned and teased, “Oh, were you going to be doing the heavy lifting?”

 

She let out a sad giggle and groaned, leaning her head against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair.

 

“Dad, can you take Ella to lunch and leave me the keys?,” Robb asked over her head.

 

Ned was silent for a second and his throat sounded thick when he answered, “Sure thing, son.”

 

Robb released her and she went to stand on her tiptoes to look in the room but Jon blocked her view.

 

“It’s better if you don’t look,” he promised.

 

She chuckled and nodded, “Thanks guys. We’ll get you some pizza or something?”

 

All of them looked like they were going to nod but then stopped talking and looked behind her, all of their heads tilting to the side. She turned around and saw a gorgeous girl walking by.

 

“Get me her number instead?,” Pip requested.

 

She laughed and rolled her eyes. Robb chuckled, running his hand through his hair.

 

“Hey,” she said to him. He glanced at her. “I love you something awful.”

 

He grinned but his cheeks turned pink as all of the guys started making kissy noises at them. If he was any other guy, he might have tried to act tough, but he simply kissed her softly and then turned her around.

 

Ned took her by the arm and lead her down the stairs. He nodded to other Dad’s moving their sons and daughters in. They all seemed to share the same look.

 

_How is this happening?_

 

They walked out into the already crisp air and she let out a deep breath. She had to admit that though the room left much to be desired, the dorm itself was perfect. Very pretty from the outside and perfectly situated near Robb’s house and the heart of campus.

 

All around her, upperclassmen were walking in twos and threes, holding coffee cups or footballs. Classes hadn’t started yet but they were all back early, which was a good sign.

 

“So, where to?,” she asked Ned.

 

“The pub on campus is pretty good,” he told her and started leading her towards it.

 

On the way to it he pointed out the dorm he’d stayed in as a freshman and the bench where he’d asked Catelyn to marry him his senior year. She made him pose next to it down on one knee and sent the picture to Catelyn.

 

They got to the pub and sat at a table outside, and Ned ordered himself a beer and a cider for her. The waitress didn’t card her, even though it must be incredibly obvious she was a freshman, and left them to make decisions on what they wanted for lunch.

 

“Was this place here when you were here?,” she wondered.

 

“No, it was built a few years later,” he told her, “But there was a bar on the edge of campus that we all used to go to after classes. Wouldn’tve eaten any food they made there though.”

 

She giggled, imagining him and her father drinking dark beer rather than eating lunch.

 

She wished she’d known her father then. Before he’d met her mother. He must have been so much happier.

 

He sounded a lot like Robb actually, gregarious and fun-loving, loyal to his friends and a bit of a player. Not the sullen man with a thickening neck and perpetually glazed eyes that she knew.

 

“What did he say, my father I mean, when you offered to move me in?,” she wondered.

 

Ned’s jaw clenched and he shook his head, “You know your father isn’t the man he used to be…”

 

That didn’t answer her question.

 

“Ned,” she said softly.

 

Ned took her hand in his and squeezed gently, “He said that it should be me. And I couldn’t disagree with him. He knows he’s been no father to you. I’m not saying it makes it alright, but he knows.”

 

She held his hand tightly and said the thing she’d never said before, but had long thought.

 

“I look too much like her, I think,” she told him, “My mother, I mean.”

 

His eyes brimmed in anger but he said gently, “I think you’re right about that, angel. I think he finds it hard to believe that you’re not a Lannister through and through.”

 

She took her hand back and nodded, “It’s funny, because if he hadn’t been so worried about that, if he hadn’t distanced himself from me because of it, I might have more Baratheon in me.”

 

“Believe me, there’s nothing funny about that,” Ned sighed, thanking the waitress as she brought them their drinks.

 

Ned ordered himself a burger and she ordered the harvest salad and the waitress left them on their own once again. She took a sip of her cider and smiled.

 

“This is good, I’ve never had one before,” she told him.

 

He grinned, “Figured it was too early in the day for one of your martinis.”

 

Her mouth fell open, “Ned, what do you know?”

 

He chuckled at her, “You forget the receipts from all those nights at the club come to me. It’s easy enough to determine who’s who.”

 

She giggled, covering her mouth. They all thought they’d been so clever, always alternating whose tab to put it on. She should have known they only got away with it because the Starks allowed them to.

 

She told them about some of their wildest nights at the club and he chuckled and groaned in equal measure. He seemed concerned that they would have gotten in boats afterwards and relaxed when she promised they hadn’t. Though she did tell him that they occasionally went for swims.

 

She found herself being grateful that her father hadn’t been even marginally better. If he had, Ned might not have felt so compelled to be a Dad to her too, and she couldn’t imagine one better.

 

“He was right, you know,” she told him as she sipped her tea at the end of the meal. Ned raised his brows at her and she realised that is where Robb got it from. “My father, you know. It should be you, moving me in. I can’t imagine it any other way.”

 

His eyes crinkled at her, filling a little, like they had when she’d given him a _#1 Dad_ mug one year on Father’s Day.

 

“Me either, angel,” he told her and then leaned forward, “Now, let’s talk about you and my son.”

 

She gulped and nodded and then he held his hand up, as though he wanted her to high-five him. After a moment she realised that is exactly what he wanted her to do so she smiled and slapped her palm against his.

 

“I’ve always been so proud of him,” Ned admitted and she nodded. Robb was the kind of son that would make any man proud. “Never more so than seeing who he is with you though.”

 

“Really?,” she blushed.

 

He nodded, thanking the waitress for returning the bill and they stood up. He escorted her out of the pub and they walked down the path back towards her dorm.

 

He wrapped his arm around her, “Yeah, the thing is… he’s always been this _great_ kid, you know? Loyal and kind, a great big brother to his siblings, but you… you’ve turned him into a good _man_.”

 

She smiled, burrowing into him, “You’d done that long before I came along.”

 

He pressed a kiss to her hair, “No, no, angel. A Dad can lay the groundwork for all of that, but it takes the right girl to come along to really do it. I always hoped it’d be you.”

 

“I’m glad that it is,” she admitted, and then, because she’d never tell her parents she convinced him, “I love him in a way that scares me.”

 

“Good,” he said, “Because trust me, he is _terrified_. That’s the way it always is with great love.”

 

“Thanks Ned.”

 

“Anytime, angel,” he promised, “And not to be needy, but don’t you think it’s time you start calling me Dad?”

 

*

 

It was a different room. It had to be.

 

The room she’d walked into earlier had been dingy and tiny, dark. There had hardly been enough room to open the drawers of the desk without them hitting the bed.

 

Now though, everything seemed to make sense. There was even a little window seat she hadn’t seen before.

 

“What did you do?,” she asked Robb.

 

He pulled her inside with an excited grin, “The orientation was all wrong. So we just moved your bed and the desk and the dresser so that it’d make a little more sense. We’ll get you a pillow or something for that seat right there, because it’s got a great view of the quad.”

 

Everything was set up, pictures of her and Sansa and Jeyne, one of Rickon and Shireen making silly faces at the camera, a picture of her and Robb the night before Sansa left for school. There’d been a bonfire and they were both wearing sweatshirts and her face was all blotchy because she’d been crying but he was kissing her cheek and she was smiling.

 

Her bed was made and her laptop was charging and resting on it.

 

It was nothing like her room at home but it was comfortable and cozy, and all the more special because he’d set it up for her.

 

“I can’t believe you guys did all this,” she told him honestly, though the other guys had left.

 

Robb chuckled, “Yeah I kicked them out when the heavy lifting was done. I didn’t want Grenn unpacking your underwear.”

 

She let out a laugh and Ned chuckled and groaned from the doorway.

 

She hopped on the bed and gestured for them to sit as well. Robb took a seat in the desk chair and Ned perched on the window seat.

 

“Sorry I kind of freaked out,” she told them, feeling silly for her earlier reaction.

 

They both grinned at her and shook their heads, “We had a feeling you would.”

 

She blushed and rolled her eyes, not even bothering to defend herself because Robb would just assure her that he loved how prissy she was.

 

“Well kids, I hate to do this, but my flight is in a couple of hours,” Ned told them, “I should get to the airport.”

 

Robb nodded, “I’ll drop you off.”

 

Ned shook his head, “No you stay here, there are a bunch of taxis downstairs.”

 

She felt a lump in her stomach. She’d knew this had been coming but she wasn’t ready for it.

 

“We don’t mind,” she said softly.

 

His eyes crinkled at her and he stood up, “I know but if I don’t get out of here now I’ll start crying like a baby.”

 

She started to laugh but it turned into a cry halfway through and he opened his arms to her.

 

He wrapped her in them and then said, “Stop blubbering over there, son, get in here.”

 

All of a sudden she felt Robb’s arms wrap around them both. She was smothered in between them and she burrowed into Ned’s chest.

 

He kissed her hair, and then Robb’s forehead, and they all released one another.

 

He placed a hand on both of their shoulders and said, “You kids take care of each other, alright?”

 

They both nodded and with one smile more for each of them he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

 

The room felt smaller without him, somehow, her and Robb felt closer together. She wasn’t entirely sure who reached for who, but she was in his arms in the next moment, their lips meeting in a frenzied kiss.

 

She tackled him back onto the bed and pulled her long sleeved shirt off her. His eyes went wide as he looked at her, his hands gripping her waist and she pulled him up so that she could kiss him again.

 

He leaned her backwards, kissing her chest, his hand cupping her breast that was covered only in a thin layer of lace. She moaned and shoved him back down, her hips grinding against his as she kissed him deeply.

 

His hands squeezed her butt, pulling her right against him and she moaned into his mouth.

 

“God I wanted to sneak into your room last night,” he confessed, “My Dad all but strapped me to the bed though.”

 

She giggled, propping herself up so she could look at him, “I waited for you.”

 

“Did you now?,” he asked, “What were you wearing?”

 

“Boring old white cotton underwear,” she told him truthfully.

 

“And?,” he asked. She raised an eyebrow at him and he groaned, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Now I really regret it. Sorry I left you hanging.”

 

“It’s okay,” she promised, kissing him once more, “I made use of your gift.”

 

“My gift?,” he asked.

 

“The vibrator…,” she reminded him.

 

He’d gotten it for her about two weeks after they’d first started things. He’d been so surprised that she didn’t have one already and insisted that having one might make her _not_ hook up with douchebags because she’d be able to get herself off.

 

She’d never used it before last night though.

 

“You’re telling me,” he whimpered, “That you were in bed, a wall away, wearing nothing but underwear, and using the vibrator I got you?”

 

She looked at him innocently, “There was nothing good on tv.”

 

He growled at her and tackled her backwards making her shriek of laughter.

 

“You will be the death of me, Ella Baratheon,” he told her, kissing her neck. “What did you think?”

 

She shivered, “It was a very good present.”

 

He grinned down at her, his eyes trailing over her face, “That good, huh?”

 

She nodded, remembering the second setting she’d found and blushed.

 

“So am I being replaced?,” he teased and she smiled, shaking her head.

 

“I thought of you,” she told him honestly.

 

His eyes turned stormy and he buried his face in her neck, pressing a kiss to the spot behind her ear that drove her wild.

 

“I want to watch you use it,” he told her.

 

“You do?,” she wondered.

 

“God yes, honey,” he groaned and he took her hand in his and brought it to his cock, his very hard cock, “That’s what I’m feeling just _imagining_ you using it.”

 

She was struck once again by the power she seemed to have over him. The way their bodies responded to one another.

 

She pressed her advantage, rubbing him over his pants, “I’ll give you a show one of these days then, if that’s what you want.”

 

“Fuck, Ella,” he groaned, his fingers going to undo her jeans.

 

She unbuckled his belt and soon they were naked and he was on top of her and then he was inside of her. They’d learned their way together, just like he said, over the past couple of weeks and she moaned as he gripped her thigh.

 

“God you feel so fucking good,” he told her and she wrapped her legs around him, taking him deeper inside of her.

 

She gripped onto his back and he rolled his hips against her in the way they’d found she liked. She dug her nails into his back and he grunted, thrusting into her harder, so she dragged her nails down his back.

 

His breath quickened as did his pace and her breath hitched. He looked down at her and she up at him and the edges of her vision took on a shimmery quality.

 

She felt warmth pool in her stomach and her hands wandered down his body and squeezed his perfect ass, pulling him even harder against her.

 

“ _Oh fuck honey_ ,” he groaned, his hand reaching in between them.

 

His fingers rubbed over her clit vigorously, the way they always did when he really wanted her to come, and she moaned for him like she always did.

 

“That’s it,” he grinned, his thrusts getting long and hard.

 

He was so big and powerful and the feel of him filling her again and again was unlike anything else.

 

“ _Yes, baby, just like that,_ ” she cried, “Oh god Robb.”

 

“Are you gonna come for me, Ella?,” he asked her, his other hand finding her throat as he thrust into her again and again, his fingers still dancing over her clit.

 

His fingers felt warm and firm around her, she didn’t understand why she liked it and it didn’t much matter because he did too. She nodded, of course she was going to come for him.

 

He tightened his grip on her, fire in his eyes and rolled his hips against her, “Do it, come for me. _Now_.”

 

As though a switch had been flipped, she felt herself crash in a delightful wave of pleasure. Her body pulsed with it and then he was groaning against her neck as he exploded inside of her.

 

They lay panting, their bodies still intertwined, him still inside of her. She stroked her fingers down his back and it was covered in a sheen of sweat, she kissed his shoulder, finding it salty.

 

He eased out of her and she gripped his shoulders, he pressed kisses to her cheeks. Her body was still getting used to sex and even though she enjoyed everything they did, more than enjoyed really, she still needed a bit of tenderness afterwards. Robb was always very happy to give it to her.

 

“The guys all think you’re great,” he told her as they lay back on her pillows.

 

“I met them for like two seconds,” she pointed out.

 

“Greatness such as yours cannot be hidden,” he told her haughtily and she giggled, looking up at him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 

“They seemed surprised that we were together,” she pointed out.

 

“They shouldn’tve been,” he told her, and then tickled her, “After we went _instagram offish._ ”

 

She chuckled, it had been Sansa’s idea that both Theon and Robb do it in advance of returning to school.

 

_Why?_

 

_So that it’s clear._

 

_So that what’s clear?_

 

_That you’re not open for business._

 

Robb had looked at her, clearly wondering if they were in on it together, but she and Sansa hadn’t spoken about it. In truth, she didn’t really care if the world knew that she and Robb were together, she trusted him. And she’d made sure that he knew it.

 

Even still, later that night when she saw that she’d been tagged in a post by him she smiled. It was a picture of the two of them that Sansa must have taken earlier that day. She’d been laughing at something Theon was saying and Robb was looking up at her.

 

The caption had been simple: _This girl, that laugh._

 

She’d commented on it immediately: _The laugh courtesy of @squidboy, but the girl is all yours._

 

“Jon doesn’t strike me as one much for instagram,” she noted.

 

“Yeah I don’t even think he had a facebook in middle school,” he agreed, “But I’d like it… if you guys got to know each other.”

 

“Uh ohhh don’t tell Theon but I think we’ve got another bromance on our hands,” she teased.

 

Robb smiled but looked down at her, “I mean it, El. You guys are my best friends.”

 

She felt her heart thudding in her chest and burrowed into him. She considered Robb one of her best friends too, but she knew it was different for boys. The bro code and all that.

 

“I’m going to friend the shit out of Jon Snow,” she promised, thinking of the broody exterior and kind eyes. _Observer’s eyes_ , her grandmother would have called them. She had them too. She wouldn’t mind being Jon Snow’s friend, he seemed like he’d be a good one. And if it was important to Robb it was important to her. She wanted to be friends with all of them. “You know, a good start in that would be you inviting me to your party tonight…”

 

He grimaced and shook his head, “I wasn’t _not_ inviting you on purpose, I mean I was but…”

 

She rolled her eyes, “It’s okay, Robb, I get it. You haven’t seen these people in months, it’s totally fine if you want to spend the night just with them. I have three years to get to know all of them.”

 

“That’s not it,” he told her and she fixed him with a look. He stroked her cheek, “Really, it’s not. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone. I just… I _got_ a freshman year, you know? A chance to make friends with people in my dorm and the craziness of frosh week… I don’t want to take that from you. You’ll see you’ve got dorm orientation in what? An hour. People will start to group together, see what everyone else is doing tonight. And if no one has a plan you can trick them into thinking your cool by telling them you know about a party.”

 

She had been nodding along, because it all made sense, until the last.

 

Her mouth dropped open and she squealed, “Trick is it?”

 

He chuckled and tickled her, “Look, I happen to think it’s very cool that you read Jane Austen on Saturday nights and do needlepoint as well as my grandmother but…”

 

She tried to be annoyed with him but sputtered out a laugh, deep from her belly, because it was all true and he loved her anyway.

 

“Just for that I’m going to make _tons_ of friends and do really cool things with them,” she told him prissily.

 

*

 

Except she didn’t.

 

Dorm orientation started out fine. Everyone seemed pretty nervous, which made her less so, and they all introduced themselves one by one.

 

_Name, where you’re from, what you’re thinking of majoring in, one interesting fact about yourself._

 

_Wymar, The Reach, Business, I’ve got a big dick. *laughter*_

 

_Lya, The Eyrie, Pre-Med, I don’t believe Wymar. *laughter*_

 

It went around and around, she’d forgotten almost everyone’s names. The boy sitting next to her was up.

 

_Hi everyone I’m…Pod, not sure what I want to study…oh I’m from Lannisport…. what? oh… an interesting fact… um… can you come back to me?_

 

It was her turn and everyone looked at her expectantly. She smiled at Pod reassuringly, his round cheeks were red and there seemed to be sweat pooling on his upper lip.

 

“I’m Myrcella, but everyone calls me Ella, I’m from Wintertown, I think I want to study Art History, and…,” she should have been thinking about her interesting fact as everyone else was going, but she hadn’t.

 

She wasn’t really sure what exactly was interesting about her. She was eighteen, she hadn’t _done_ anything yet. She could tell them that she hated her family, but that didn’t seem very dorm orientation-like. She could tell him that her boyfriend was really sexy, but again, not really interesting about _her_.

 

“I hate bears,” Pod said to her left. She along with everyone else turned to look at him. His whole face was red now but he nodded, going for it completely and said, “Yeah, fuck bears.”

 

She laughed along with everyone else and when it quieted down she said, “I don’t think I can follow that…”

 

That seemed to be sufficient and the attention turned to the person next to her.

 

She turned to Pod and said quietly, “Thank you.”

 

He grinned at her, “Thanks for not laughing at me when I made an ass out of myself.”

 

“You didn’t,” she assured him, “This is a unique brand of torture for us introverts, hmm?”

 

He nodded and smiled at her kindly. She liked that he looked her in the eyes, not the way that she’d some of the other boys look at her and the other girls. She nudged her arm against his, giving him a smile in return and then listened as everyone else went.

 

After that they’d gotten a tour of the dorm. She tried to fall into step next to some girls, but they ignored her. They then played a few trust exercises.

 

Everyone seemed to have a partner except for her. How had that happened? As far as she knew, no one really knew each other, and yet, in that _stupid_ exercise everyone had already found their group.

 

“Ella!,” an excited voice called, “Come join us.”

 

She looked to where the voice was coming from and saw Pod. He was standing with someone, another guy, who was large, probably 6’3’’ or so and broad. He had a shaved head and she wasn’t entirely certain how the two of them had paired together because he seemed the complete opposite of docile Pod.

 

Even still, she didn’t have much choice so she walked over to them and held her hand out.

 

“Hi, I’m Ella,” she introduced herself.

 

“The girl with nothing interesting about them,” he noted as he shook her hand. She giggled and he smiled briefly, “I’m Gendry.”

 

She tried to place him and then asked, “King’s Landing, right?” He nodded, and she looked at him more. He shifted a little uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, you just… you remind me of someone…”

 

She couldn’t place who it was, but she felt like she’d met him before.

 

They did the stupid trust exercise and then listened as as their R.A. explained where the infirmary was and noted that people should walk home in pairs.

 

Everyone started breaking apart in groups, heading back to their rooms or maybe to the football game that was happening that night.

 

She watched as groups of girls travelled in packs. It made her miss Sansa.

 

“So,” Gendry said, “I guess I’ll see you guys later.”

 

“Wait, what are you doing tonight?,” Pod asked.

 

“Nothing,” Gendry said definitively.

 

He didn’t say it like he didn’t have any plans. He said it like doing nothing _was_ his plan.

 

She bet he, like Robb, wouldn’t judge her for staying in on a Saturday night to read or catch up on schoolwork. And Pod seemed like he would think it was kind of cool that she did needlepoint.

 

“Well um, if that falls through,” she teased and Gendry chuckled, a deep belly chuckle, “My boyfriend and his housemates are having a party.”

 

“Wait really?,” Pod asked excitedly, and she liked that both of them hadn’t seemed disappointed that she was dating someone. “Can we go? Will there be girls there?”

 

She grinned, “I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet. We definitely can go, what do you say, Gendry?”

 

He sighed but Pod started bouncing. Gendry looked at him in confusion but also like it was kind of working, so she started bouncing too.

 

“Come onnnnn,” she grinned, taking hold of his hands and trying to make him bounce too.

 

“Fine,” Gendry sighed, though he absolutely didn’t bounce, “But I’m not paying at the door.”

 

“Of course you’re not,” she assured him.

 

*

 

“That’ll be five dollars,” Grenn said.

 

“Grenn!,” she scolded.

 

He rolled his eyes, “Not you, obviously, but them.”

 

“But Robb said I could bring whoever I wanted,” she pointed out.

 

Grenn shrugged, “Yeah well Robb didn’t want to work the door, now did he? My door, my rules. All guys pay.”

 

She rolled her eyes and turned to Pod and Gendry to apologise. Gendry fixed her with a look but Pod proffered ten dollars and handed it to Grenn.

 

Pod grinned, “Our _first_ college party.”

 

With that he started bouncing again. So did she.

 

“Come onnn, Gendry,” she teased.

 

Gendry chuckled at them and gave them a single bounce which made them both hoot and holler.

 

“You guys are idiots,” he said, taking the red cups out of Grenn’s hand and passing one to each of them.

 

“Oh don’t be like that, I hate it when we fight,” Pod teased, following him in.

 

She patted Grenn’s arm and followed them into the house.

 

It was both exactly like a high school party, and nothing like it. It was the same general set up, guys and girls strewn about the room, some playing drinking games, others dancing, others just talking. The red solo cups were all the same, but no one was freaking out about their mother’s porcelain or their father’s office.

 

It felt wilder, even though it was early. No one here had a curfew, or had to be DD. Anything could happen.

 

Some indie rock song was blaring out of the speakers and she followed the boys over to the keg. Gendry offered her some but she waved him off, knowing that Robb would have a stash of something better, and scanned the room.

 

She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but somehow everyone here was hot. She tried to remember if a picture had been required on her application or if Robb and his friends just attracted a certain kind of person.

 

All the girls were beautiful, and all seemed so much older than her.

 

She saw Robb across the room, he was talking to Jon and some girl, both their arms around her shoulders looking down at her lovingly.

 

“AWOOOOOOO,” she called, and she could have sworn everyone in the party stopped and turned to look at her.

 

She couldn’t help but blush, but then Robb and Jon both smiled at her and called back, “AWOOOOOOOOOO.”

 

She wondered if Robb had spoken to Jon about being friends with her too.

 

Everything in the party started again and the crowd parted for Robb and Jon and the girl they’d been talking to. She was pretty, with brown hair and a shy smile. She didn’t seem like the other girls, for some reason, and she liked her on sight.

 

“Hi honey,” Robb crossed the remaining distance to her, picking her up and spinning her around.

 

She hugged him tightly, all of the insecurity she’d felt at orientation gone the moment she was back in his arms. He seemed to sense something was up and cupped the back of her hair. She burrowed into him for a moment and he set her down.

 

“How was orientation?,” he asked.

 

“Good,” she lied, though it was so obvious that it hardly counted as one.

 

He smiled at her sadly and stroked her cheek.

 

“I um… brought some friends though,” she said brightly, because everything came so easily to him and she didn’t want to be a wet blanket. She turned to Gendry and Pod, “Pod, Gendry, this is my boyfriend Robb, and his housemate Jon, and…,” she turned to the girl with them.

 

“I’m Gilly,” she introduced herself.

 

“Gilly?!,” she asked excitedly and Gilly nodded. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around her, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

 

Gilly hugged her, rubbing her back, “Me too. Sam tells me you’re the kindest person he’s ever met.”

 

She pulled away and smiled, “He said that?”

 

“And here I thought I was special,” Pod cut in.

 

She giggled and rolled her eyes, “You’re the one who saved _me,_ remember?”

 

“What’s this?,” Robb wondered, taking her red cup out of her hands and pulling a flask out of his back pocket and pouring something in it.

 

She took the cup back and took a small sip of whiskey, “This orientation thing… we all had to say something _interesting_ about ourselves and I couldn’t think of anything.”

 

Robb glanced at her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Couldn’t narrow it down, huh?”

 

She beamed up at him and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

 

“Thanks for looking out for her,” Robb said to Pod, “And Gendry, nice to meet you. Hey have we met before?”

 

“No,” Gendry shook his head, “Don’t think so,” he held his hand out though, “Nice to meet you though, man. Ella told me you’re on the rugby team?”

 

She and Pod exchanged a glance. It was the most Gendry had spoken in the entire time that they’d known him.

 

Robb clearly didn’t know that though and nodded, “Yeah, Jon and I both are. You play? We need a few new guys.”

 

Gendry nodded, “Yeah my team was all-state.”

 

“What position do you play?,” Jon asked him.

 

Ella felt a small hand taking hers and she looked over and saw Gilly.

 

“Come on,” she said, “This lot’ll be talking about that stupid game for hours and the season hasn’t even started yet. Let’s leave them to it?”

 

She grinned and nodded, following Gilly away. The older girl seemed to know some people, but not all, and waved shyly even though people seemed excited to see her.

 

They wandered into the kitchen and Gilly hoisted herself up on the counter, so Ella did the same.

 

“So orientation was rough, huh?,” she asked.

 

Ella picked at the sleeve of her dress, “Just a little, um… I didn’t realise how hard it can be to make new girlfriends. I’ve known all of mine since preschool.”

 

Gilly nodded sympathetically, “You will, definitely. Once classes start and everything. Robb mentioned you were studying art history? You’ll meet loads of girls in those classes.”

 

“I hope so,” she said, “Don’t get me wrong, Pod and Gendry are the duo I never knew I needed, and I love Robb, but I’ve never been the girl who just hung out with boys. Boys are so _smelly,_ except Robb.”

 

Gilly giggled, “Agreed. And no I am all about the girl power, but you have to understand how intimidating you are to a bunch of insecure freshman.”

 

“But I’m an insecure freshman,” she pointed out.

 

Gilly grinned, “Maybe on the inside, but on the outside you are the gorgeous girl with the handsome boyfriend who can literally stop a party in its tracks by letting out a howl. If my ear hadn’t been talked off about what a lovely person you are, you’d scare the bajeezus out of me.”

 

She giggled, “Sorry they’ve been talking your ear off. I think Robb’s worried about me.”

 

“No,” Gilly shook her head, “He just can’t stand the idea that anyone could miss it, what he sees in you. It’s like a personal affront to him.”

 

One of her favorite songs came on and she threw back the whiskey in her cup.

 

“I think the time has come,” she told Gilly.

 

“The time?,” Gilly asked her dramatically, “Could it be?”

 

“Oh yes, oh yes, yes, yes,” she grinned, hopping off the counter.

 

Gilly followed her off and they danced their way into the living room. The tempo of the party seemed to have gone up and they were packed in amongst a number of bodies.

 

She threw her hands up in the air and moved her body to the song, Gilly was doing the same and they smiled at each other.

 

The floor seemed to be shaking, and the windows were rattling, and they were all there.

 

Suddenly she was being twirled and she was surprised that it was right into Jon’s arms. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he placed his hands on her waist, and they were jumping up and down to the music.

 

“Sorry orientation didn’t work out,” he shouted to her over the music.

 

“It’s okay,” she shouted back.

 

“The thing you’ll learn,” he told her, “Is that most people suck!”

 

She cackled, the pair of them still jumping up and down.

 

“You’re a ray of sunshine, you know that, Snow?,” she asked him.

 

He crinkled his eyes at her, “It’ll get better.”

 

She smiled at him, “It already has.”

 

He took one of her hands and twirled her out and then pulled her back to him, “Did Robb give you the same speech he gave me?”

 

“About us being friends?,” she asked and he nodded, “Yep. Think you can handle it?”

 

“Being friends with you?,” he groaned dramatically, “Really bad for my reputation.”

 

“That’s too bad,” she sighed equally dramatically, and then made to fall back completely. Jon stepped forward and caught her before she could fall to the floor, and she looked up at him, “Because according to my R.A., this means we’re friends now.”

 

He chuckled and pulled her up and then onto his shoulder, spinning her around.

 

She was deposited back onto the ground and they were all there, Jon and Robb and Gilly, Sam and Grenn and Pod and Gendry.

 

It wasn’t the first night she expected, but it didn’t much matter, because all at once, she started to like college.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to beg but I'd love to hear what you all think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> um...no explanation for this chapter

 

Everything hurt.

 

He was vaguely aware that he was laying down. He believed he was outside.

 

There were a few things he knew for certain though. His name was Robb Stark. He was in love with Ella Baratheon. And Gendry Waters had just made the rugby team.

 

“Holy shit, dude, you okay?,” his newest teammate asked.

 

“I’m good,” he lied, trying to heave himself up.

 

Gendry grimaced and bent over, extending his hand and Robb gripped onto it, letting him pull him up. He coughed a few times and stretched, and it felt like his body parts were moving back to the right places.

 

He’d played a lot of sports in his day. Football, rugby, lacrosse, hockey. He’d broken his leg, dislocated his shoulder, and had enough concussions that his doctor gave him an MRI every six months. But he had never, in his life, been hit like that.

 

Gendry was a steel fucking door.

 

“Welcome to the team, man,” he said with a grin.

 

Relief washed over Gendry’s features. He’d clearly been afraid that he’d just screwed it up, but with the vast majority of their team from the year before having graduated, Jon and Robb as co-captains weren’t in the position to be picky.

 

Plus, Gendry could flat out play.

 

“Dude that hit was _sick_ ,” Grenn said coming over and slapping Gendry on the back, and then looked at him accusingly, “But what the hell were _you_ doing all summer?”

 

“More like _who_ were you doing all summer?,” their teammate Wymar asked.

 

At that exact moment, as though through divine intervention, they all heard a light voice call, “WOOOHOOO GO KNIGHTS!”

 

They all turned to look at Ella who hopefully had just arrived, standing on the sidelines. The fact that she hadn’t rushed over and tackled Gendry meant that she probably hadn’t seen him get knocked over.

 

“Dibs,” five of his teammates called.

 

He _hated_ himself for the bit of pride that ran through him at that. He wasn’t surprised by it, Ella was the most beautiful girl in the world, even still he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the fact that everyone wanted her but only _he_ got her.

 

“Sorry boys,” he shrugged, and tried to run over to her. He was still a little winded though and kind of half walked, half trotted. “Hi honey.”

 

“Hi,” Ella grinned, crossing the remaining distance and pulling his face to hers so that she could kiss him.

 

“Sorry I’m all sweaty,” he told her, trying not to get his muddy hands on her clothes.

 

“I’m not,” she told him and he chuckled. She furrowed her brow, cocking her head to the side and nodded towards the guys amassed, “How’re they looking?”

 

“A few of them are pretty good actually, Gendry’s crazy strong, no wonder his nickname in high school was Bull,” he told her.

 

“Huh, that’s funny,” Ella said, but she was looking past him.

 

“I know, just like your Dad, right?,” he asked her. She kind of zoned out for a minute and he waved his hand in front of her face, “Thinking about trading me in?”

 

She snapped out of it and giggled, “No, sorry, I was just thinking I should get to the library to grab a few things…”

 

He grinned, “It’s syllabus week.”

 

She blushed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “I know but I just… don’t want to fall behind.”

 

There was absolutely no chance of that. They’d had their first class together yesterday, and Ella had refused to walk over with him, citing his penchant for tardiness. He’d arrived, _two minutes early thank you very much_ , and found her sitting in the front row, her laptop already open, the pair of reading glasses he adored perched on her face.

 

She’d allowed him to sit next to her but had refused to speak with him even as Professor Luwin was setting up his presentation, and when he’d tried to pass her a note she had quickly stuffed it into her jeans pocket as though this were still high school and she might get detention.

 

She’d taken _extensive_ notes, searching the campus library database for the supplementary reading all the while.

 

She was just a _wee_ bit intense when it came to school, and he found it incredibly endearing.

 

He’d always been a good student and he liked certain subjects, like history and politics, but Ella loved the act of learning. Far be it from him to try and deter her.

 

“No, we wouldn’t want that,” he agreed, “I’m almost done here, want to meet me back at my house after and we can decide what to do for dinner?”

 

She smiled and nodded, “I’ll see you soon.” She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and waved to the teammates of his that she knew and started walking towards the library. He turned to go join everyone, knowing full well that he was about to get the piss taken out of him, “Oh and Robb?” He turned around and she gave him a grin, “Don’t shower before I get there…”

 

His mouth dropped in shock and she gave him a wink, sauntering off towards the library like she was absolutely aware of and delighted about what she’d just done to him.

 

He was chuckling by the time he got back to his teammates and they all stood there looking at him.

 

“Come on guys, are we gonna practice or what?,” he asked.

 

“Gendry,” Jon said.

 

“On it,” Gendry noted and charged straight for him.

 

*

 

Robb walked through Ella’s dorm, passing one room that reeked of weed, and another where it was obvious the guys inside were playing video games. He walked by a girl in a towel who grinned at him, and he stepped to the side to let her by. He walked by another room where the door was open and a small group of girls were sitting inside, listening to music and painting their nails.

 

He got to Ella’s room and knocked. She opened the door, a smile already on her face and pulled him inside, kissing him softly on the mouth.

 

He slammed the door shut and picked her up in his arms to grant himself better access and kissed her lips and her cheek and her neck. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and her glasses were on, and she was wearing boxers and knee socks and one of his sweaters.

 

He felt her hands in his hair as she deepened the kiss, and he walked her back to her bed, climbing on it and laying her down.

 

“I missed you,” he said stupidly. He’d seen her in class a few hours ago.

 

“I missed you too,” she told him though, her hands rubbing his back and snuggling into him, “Thanks for coming to me.”

 

He stroked her hair, “Of course, I know the house can be a bit much.”

 

In truth, he wasn’t sorry to leave it. He loved his housemates, but there was a party nearly every night. Even if it was just them and some of the rugby guys, things got out of hand.

 

Ella and Sam had made everyone dinner the night before and afterwards she’d been sitting on the couch with Jon doing some reading for class and Grenn had walked in with a bunch of girls who’d all demanded Jon do shots. She’d been a trooper but the girls hadn’t been particularly nice and she’d pressed a kiss to his lips after an hour saying _I’ve got an early lecture_. He’d offered to walk her home but Gendry had been on his way back from the library and come to grab her. The girls had taken one look at him and tried to make him do shots as well but he’d merely shaken his head, saluted them, and picked up Ella’s backpack and slung it over his shoulder.

 

He was glad she’d found Gendry, and Pod for that matter. Pod was a sweet guy, funny and good hearted, but Gendry was like solid granite. He wasn’t the fuzziest guy in the world, but there was a deep goodness to him and in spite of him acting like Ella was an annoying little sister some of the time, he was totally devoted to her.

 

They were oddly similar actually, though Ella was a good deal more bubbly. Both were quiet and studious, _observers,_ and while Ella was gregarious where Gendry was prone to sullenness, there was something strange about seeing them together.

 

And the oddest thing of all was that he wasn’t jealous of Gendry. At all.

 

He’d learned in his and Ella’s relatively short relationship that he didn’t have the longest temper when it came to guys hitting on her, he’d nearly taken a swing at Trystane a time or two before they were even official, but with Gendry he never got the least bit frustrated or nervous.

 

“I love the guys,” Ella said taking him out of his thoughts, “But you know me.”

 

He smiled at her, stroking her cheek, “Yeah, honey, I do.”

 

They heard a shriek of laughter from the hallway and he glanced at Ella who looked at the door longingly. She caught his eye though and smiled at him.

 

“It’s okay to be lonely,” he told her.

 

She leaned her head back on the pillows and let her knuckles trail over his cheek, “How can I be lonely when you’re here with me?”

 

He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to her warm palm. She was so sweet and loving and he was content to spend every moment with her that she’d give him, but Ella was a girl who needed girlfriends. He and the guys weren’t enough - even if she’d quickly stolen all of their affections away from him.

 

“Because Sansa isn’t,” he said softly.

 

Her eyes filled with tears for a second and he regretted saying anything but she smiled, “One of her teachers is already trying to set her up with an internship over the summer, did she tell you?”

 

He nodded, “Yeah she told me. She’s trying not to get her hopes up, which is ridiculous because -“

 

“She’s totally going to get it,” they both said at the same time.

 

“Gilly says girls find me _intimidating_ ,” she told him, a tone of annoyance in her voice, “Which… I don’t know, I think is kind of lame.”

 

He chuckled, “Well, that’s because it is kind of lame. It’s not your fault you’re pretty.”

 

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, tackling him backwards, “You see Stark? This is the kind of blind support I need in my life.” She looked at him seriously though and said, “But the thing is… I’m okay, I really am. I don’t need a ton of people, and I just don’t want you to be…”

 

“Be what, honey?”

 

She sighed, “I don’t know, like… disappointed in me or something. I know that you’re really social and popular and everything and I love that part of you because it’s _you_ , but I’m not like that, you know? I never wanted to be out every night and everything… and I just don’t want to be a wet blanket.”

 

He laughed at her, he didn’t mean to or anything but, “Ella you literally swung from the rafters on Saturday night. I thought I was going to have a heart attack,” he admitted and she giggled, smacking her face in embarrassment. He moved her hand away from her face and told her, “I’m not disappointed. I could never be disappointed in you. I just want you to be happy, that’s all. And if you tell me that hanging out with me and the guys and Pod and Gendry is enough for you then that’s fine and I’ll take you as much as I can get you. I just…”

 

“Just…,” she prompted.

 

“I just think it’s really fucking annoying that those girls haven’t invited you over to paint your nails… you’re really good at it,” he told her.

 

She grinned and scrunched her nose adorably, “Yeah, I’m _super_ good at it.”

 

He rolled her off of him and moved to go up, “I’m going to go tell them -“

 

She giggled, wrapping her arms and legs around him so that he’d stay put. He leaned back against her, her back on the bed and his back on her.

 

“I brought you something,” he remembered, reaching into his pocket and pulling it out.

 

She took it from him and held it in her small hand, “What is it?”

 

“A vape,” he explained, “I know you didn’t like the taste of the joint Jon rolled the other night, but you super loved being high.”

 

It had been Sunday night and they’d had the football game on. Ella had been laying with her head in his lap, her legs tucked up. Jon had thrown a pillow on her legs and rested against them, handing her the joint as though it was no big deal.

 

She’d glanced up at him and he took it from her wordlessly, taking a hit. He figured she didn’t want people to know it was her first time, but he didn’t want her not to know what to do either. She watched him studiously and then held her hand out for it. She’d coughed a bit and stolen his water, taken another hit and then passed it on to Sam.

 

They’d all been sitting there watching the game and then out of nowhere she’d just started giggling.

 

He looked down at her and there’d been tears rolling out of her eyes, and all of a sudden he’d heard Jon start laughing, and then Sam. He’d managed to hold it together alright which they’d all found _hilarious_ and then they’d all settled down.

 

_“I like it here,” she told them after a little bit._

 

_“It’s better when you’re here,” Jon had said back._

 

_Ella had looked up at him and grinned, “I told you I was going to friend the shit out of him.”_

 

She let out her deep belly chuckle and agreed, “Yeah I really did. What does it taste like?”

 

“Not much of anything,” he told her honestly, clicking the bottom of it a few times until it lit up. He handed it back to her, “Just take it easy at first, it’s pretty strong and it can ruin your whole day.”

 

She took it from him, sitting them up a bit, her calves resting on his thighs, her other arm wrapped around his chest, her head on his shoulder. She inhaled a bit and released the vapour.

 

“Ooh so much better, good looking out Stark,” she said and handed to him.

 

He took a few hits and handed it back to her and she took another two and then placed it on the bed beside them.

 

The hand that had been holding the vape started stroking his hair, and he leaned his head back against her shoulder. He could feel her soft breasts against his back and her fingers in her hair and her cheek against his.

 

He let his fingers trail up and down the smooth skin of her legs. She’s just shaved them and he could tell she’d put lotion on. He picked up one of her legs and pressed a kiss to her calf and her bedroom laugh vibrated in his ear.

 

They sat like that for a while, not talking. It wasn’t the weed, or rather, it wasn’t _just_ the weed. There had always been a comfort in their silences, she’d gravitated towards him when they were kids because her house was never silent and she liked to tell him that he drowned it all out.

 

He remembered her coming to sit beside him under the Weirwood tree on his family’s property. He’d come out there to be alone, and had been annoyed when he heard leaves crunching under someone’s feet. He hadn’t realised at the time how strange it was that his annoyance had disappeared when he saw that it was her.

 

_“My parents are fighting again,” she told him. “Sansa will make me talk about it.”_

 

_“I won’t,” he assured her._

 

_“I won’t make you tell me why you’re out here all alone either,” she promised, coming to sit next to him._

 

They’d sat in silence for a while, and then they both started to speak at the same time.

 

_“I don’t understand why they won’t just get divorced -,” she said, at the same time he told her, “Dad’s on me about my grades.”_

 

They had laughed, and both sighed and then she’d rested her cheek on his shoulder. They’d sat there for a long while and when he walked her back to the house, he’d gone in to study, because he really shouldn’t have been getting a B- and she’d gone to tell Sansa everything.

 

They’d always known how to give the other exactly what they needed.

 

“You’re enough,” she told him. He glanced over at her and she looked over at him, “If all I had was you, forever, it would be enough.”

 

*

 

“More!,” Ella shouted at him.

 

“Easy, Baratheon,” he chuckled but he acquiesced and poured a bit more whiskey in his shot glass.

 

She held hers up and wrapped her arm around Jon’s shoulders, standing adorably on her tiptoes to do so, “Alright Snow, what are we drinking to?”

 

He grinned down at her, wrapping his arm around her waist and teased, “Why do we always have to drink _to_ something, why not just drink?”

 

She looked at him sternly and said, “If you don’t choose something I’m going to make you drink to friendship.”

 

“Fine,” Jon sighed, “To… Ella’s ass.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” he agreed, knocking his back and then punching Jon in the arm.

 

Jon chuckled, shaking his arm, and let out a _wooop,_ “God damn it that felt good!”

 

He grinned and Ella rolled her eyes, bopping her head to the music. It was Saturday night and they were having yet another party. He wasn’t sure who most of the people were but it didn’t really matter because everyone had come with a glimmer in their eye.

 

Something was going to happen tonight, he wasn’t entirely sure what, but he could feel it.

 

Ella gave him a closed lip smile and he could tell she felt it too.

 

He pulled her by the back of her head and kissed her, and her tongue slipped against his gently before pulling away.

 

“Not in front of the kids,” she chided, gesturing to Jon and Edd.

 

“Yeah Dad,” Edd groaned.

 

“Whose ass were you all drinking to?,” a girl cut into their conversation.

 

She had dark red hair and clear blue eyes, a northern accent. She was pretty, in a wild sort of way.

 

“Mine,” Ella said in delight.

 

It hadn’t been her first shot of the night.

 

The girl looked her over and then made a twirling gesture. Ella turned around in a slow circle that all but made him groan and then grinned at the girl.

 

“Yeah, I’ll drink to that,” the girl nodded and Ella let out a _woop_ and poured her a shot.

 

She knocked it back and then also punched Jon in the arm.

 

Jon looked alarmed, and a little turned on.

 

The girl put her hand on her slim hip, “I’m Ygritte. Do you dance?”

 

“Jon, no,” he answered gruffly.

 

“I do,” Ella held her hand up.

 

Ygritte turned to her and smiled, holding out her hand, “Yeah you’ll do.”

 

Ella gave him an _oh-shit_ expression but let Ygritte pull her out of the kitchen. He and Jon wordlessly followed, but remained on the edge of the living room and they watched the girls start to dance in the middle of it.

 

It was some upbeat rock song, and Ella’s hands were raised above her head, her dress swishing against her legs as she moved. He wondered what she was wearing underneath, had been since she’d shown up earlier with her legs looking about a mile long thanks to her ankle boots.

 

“Which one of us do you think she was hitting on?,” Jon asked him.

 

Robb watched as Ygritte’s eyes lingered on Ella’s form and then she looked over at Jon and grinned at him.

 

“I think both of you,” he told him honestly.

 

“Do you think Ella knows that?,” Jon wondered, and they watched as Ella twirled Ygritte.

 

“Um, probably not,” he chuckled.

 

“Is she…”

 

“Is she what?,” he asked.

 

“Interested in girls too?,” Jon wondered.

 

Robb’s stomach lurched. He had never really thought about that. She’d never mentioned anything, but she probably wouldn’t. Not unless he asked, which he hadn’t, because the truth was, he’d never seen her look at anyone with desire in her eyes other than him.

 

He watched as Ygritte and Ella danced. They looked good together, regardless of what it meant. Ella looked happy.

 

“I don’t know,” he told him honestly.

 

 

 

He grinned as Ygritte said something in Ella’s ear that made her toss her head back and laugh. Ygritte’s eyes fell to her neck. He knew that look. But Ella didn’t seem to notice and waved someone over, throwing her arms around Gilly and introducing the pair of them.

 

The girls were busy dancing so he and Jon went over and got in the queue to play beer pong. They were up against Sam and Pod, which wasn’t really fair, and they made quick work of them.

 

Gendry and Wymar were a bit more of a fair fight but they still beat them, and then played against Grenn and Edd.

 

He glanced over at Ella every so often, she was still dancing with Gilly and Ygritte. She’d thrown her hair up in a ponytail and as though she felt his eyes on her she looked over at him and blew him a kiss.

 

He pretended to stagger back, clutching his heart and he could practically feel her giggle from across the room.

 

“What has that girl done to you?,” Jon asked at his side.

 

He shrugged, “The only thing to do with a girl like her is let her destroy you.”

 

Jon opened his mouth as though he was going to respond, but he nodded behind him and said, “Speaking of destruction.”

 

Robb grinned and turned, about to ask Ella if she wanted to throw a celebrity, but it wasn’t her.

 

“Hi stranger,” a sultry voice said.

 

“Dhorea,” he gulped.

 

She grinned, “Well don’t I even get a hug?”

 

He nodded and stepped forward, hugging her briefly. She pulled him away from the beer pong table, and Wymar stepped in next to Jon to take his place.

 

“So how was your summer?,” she asked.

 

“Best ever,” he told her honestly, “How about yours.”

 

“Oh you know,” she grinned, looking off into the distance before closing her eyes.

 

It was a gift of hers, making you think about sex whether you wanted to or not.

 

They’d hooked up for a while at the end of their freshman year. She was fun but absolutely wild and like Jon had noted, had a talent for destruction.

 

He felt a little guilty. He hadn’t thought about her once all summer.

 

“I kept thinking you’d call,” she pouted, taking his cup out of his hand and taking a sip of his drink.

 

She offered it back to him but he waved her off and ran his hand through his hair.

 

“Yeah the thing is, Dhorea, I’m in a relationship,” he told her.

 

She let out a melodic laugh, “No.”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, she’s around here somewhere.”

 

The laughter died and she shook her head, “But you don’t have girlfriends.”

 

“Um…,” he started stupidly. “Well the thing is…”

 

“Who is she?,” she demanded.

 

“Oh, well,” he gestured vaguely, trying not to look to the last spot he’d seen Ella. He didn’t want to introduce her to an angry Dhorea. “We grew up together.”

 

Dhorea looked at him and threw back the rest of his whiskey. She dropped the cup on the floor petulantly and he fought the urge to roll his eyes.

 

He never wanted to tell anyone how to feel, but he had to admit he thought she was being a little overdramatic. They’d never even been exclusive.

 

“Okay but -,” Dhorea started and then the hair on his arms stood up as she looked to his left.

 

“Hi, I’m Ella,” a sweet voice said.

 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

 

“You don’t like blondes,” Dhorea said instead of saying hello to her.

 

“Sucks to be me then,” Ella joked and he couldn’t help but chuckle. He looked over at her, trying to convince her with just a look that she had nothing to be worried about, but she merely smiled at him and shrugged, walking in between them, her fingers ghosting across his abs, making him shiver. “Well I’ll leave you guys to it.”

 

She walked away without another look at Dhorea, but she turned around and winked at him, walking backwards a few steps and then turning and walking down the hall.

 

“It was nice seeing you,” he said absently to Dhorea and followed Ella down the hall as though he was in a trance.

 

The light was on in the library and he looked inside, seeing her sitting up on the desk, her legs crossed, a book open in her lap.

 

He closed the door, prepared for her ire. He’d never really seen it but he had a feeling it was going to be pretty bad. She was scrappy.

 

“You guys have got quite a collection,” she told him, gesturing vaguely to the books, “All sorts of pretty things.”

 

He crossed to her and took the book from her hands, taking her cheeks in his, “Ella you have nothing to worry about. She’s just someone I used to sort of see.”

 

“Who is?,” she asked stubbornly, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Her name is Dhorea,” he sighed, “And she’s no threat to you.”

 

To his surprise she grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him. It lit a fire in his veins and he pried her legs apart so that he could step in between them, kissing her back.

 

“Why would I worried?,” she asked him, gripping his shirt in her hand. She let her tongue trail over his bottom lip and he groaned and she grinned against him, “You’re mine, Robb Stark,” she said and suddenly her hand was on his cock, “And so is this.”

 

“ _Fuck, Ella_ ,” he groaned as she started rubbing him through his pants.

 

Her hand moved up and unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants and reached underneath his boxers, “Isn’t that right?”

 

“Yes, _fuck yes,_ ” he whimpered as she started rubbing him expertly, her other hand still holding the back of his neck.

 

“Good,” she told him, her hand working him as she bit his bottom lip.

 

He growled at her and his hands moved up her thighs and pulled her underwear down, his fingers finding her cunt wet.

 

“Oh Ella,” he groaned, parting her lips and tracing his finger over her pearl, “So wet for me. Is that what does it for you? Knowing you own me? Knowing you can have me anytime you want?,” he asked, pushing two fingers inside of her, “Is that what gets you off now?”

 

She grabbed his hand and pulled it away from her and to his utter surprise and delight, took the fingers that had just been inside of her into her mouth and licked them clean.

 

He could have come right there, her eyes taking on the hazy quality they always had when she was really turned on.

 

She released his fingers with a _pop_ and said, “You’re what gets me off now.”

 

He attacked her lips with his, his tongue entering her mouth, lapping at hers. He’d never tasted her sweetness off her tongue before and it was the most glorious thing he’d ever had.

 

She moaned into his mouth, her hand going back to his cock, her other pulling down his pants.

 

“Let me, let me get the door,” he said to her, because there was no way he wasn’t having her on this desk.

 

He look towards the door but felt her palm on his cheek, turning him back to look at her. She leaned in close to his lips and whispered, “I don’t care.”

 

He grinned, because if she didn’t, then he sure as hell didn’t either. The entire party could come in and watch for all he cared.

 

Even still he couldn’t resist teasing her. He wrapped his hands around her thighs and pulled her closer towards him.

 

“You want people to see me making love to you?,” he asked.

 

She shook her head, and there was no smile on her face, and only desire in her eyes. She took his cock in hand and guided him towards her, arching her hips.

 

“No,” she told him, “And I don’t want you making love to me either.”

 

He groaned, steadying himself as she rubbed his cock against her folds, “You’re sending some mixed messages, El.”

 

Now she did grin, “I don’t want you to make love to me. I want you to fuck me.”

 

He batted her hand away and took his cock in hand and shoved inside of her. She let out a surprised moan and he yanked on her ponytail, attacking her neck as he thrust inside of her again.

 

Her hands wandered up the back of his shirt, and he rolled his hips against her, all but begging her for it. She gave him what he wanted, she always did, and dug her nails into his back, dragging them down.

 

“Fuck,” he grunted.

 

He set a merciless pace. He had never fucked her like this. Their sex was great, incredible, but it had never been like this. She had never been like this, so neither had he.

 

They’d always known how to give the other exactly what they needed.

 

Ella arched her back, her elegant neck falling back, her thighs locked around him as he pounded into her.

 

She looked so vulnerable and it released the animal inside of him and he gripped her hips harshly, pulling her against him again and again.

 

“FUCK, _ROBBB,_ ” she cried out with abandon. It was music to his ears. “Fuck, fuck, just like that baby.”

 

He rocked his hips against her, grabbing her by the back of her neck and crushing his lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, her hips rocking against his in their own delicious rhythm.

 

He groaned into her mouth, breaking the kiss as he moaned.

 

“God your cunt is perfect,” he told her, “So fucking good.”

 

“Robb, Robb,” she said, yanking his hair. “I want to ride you.”

 

He leaned in and kissed her, gripping her by her perfect ass and pulling her off the desk, turning around and hoisting himself onto it.

 

She got on her knees straddling him. He was still inside of her and she didn’t miss a beat, rocking against him.

 

“Fuck, El,” he groaned, spanking her. She let out a moan, and he felt her walls clench around him so he did it again. “That’s right, show me how much you love my cock.”

 

She cried out, her arms wrapping around his neck as she rocked back and forth on him. She was moving fast, their thighs slapping together. Her cheeks were flushed and she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and he just wanted to ravage her again and again.

 

He gripped a butt cheek in one hand, the other spanking the other cheek again and again.

 

“FUCKFUCKFUCK,” Ella cried, “I’m going to come baby, come with me, I want to feel you come inside me.”

 

“Almost,” he nodded, grabbing her breast, “So fucking close.”

 

She moaned in his ear, “Fuck I love your cock, baby.”

 

He bit her neck and he felt her walls tighten around him, spasming and all but milking his cock as he shuddered inside of her.

 

They stayed like that, panting against one another, his cock still inside of her.

 

“Dhorea seems nice,” she said conversationally and he sputtered out a laugh.

 

“I knew you were jealous,” he teased.

 

She leaned back and looked at him, “I wasn’t.” He fixed her with a look and she grinned, “I wasn’t.”

 

“Then what was this?,” he asked her.

 

She shrugged, “I guess watching you turn down beautiful girls is a kink of mine…”

 

He chuckled at her, “Well prepare to be turned on all the time…”

 

She smiled and kissed him sweetly, tenderly, in such painful contrast to what they’d just done that he felt tears flood his eyes. He loved her with such fervor that it was terrifying, but feeling her love him back in the same way was the most satisfying feeling in the world.

 

He cupped her cheeks and kissed them and her forehead and finally her lips again.

 

“I mean it Ella,” he told her, because even if she wasn’t jealous she had to know. He thought about what she’d said last week in her dorm room. “If all I had was you, forever, it would be enough.”

 

“Robb?,” she asked softly.

 

“Yeah, honey?”

 

“Make love to me.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is...it's college

 

“ _Mmmm,_ ” she smiled, stretching lazily.

 

Robb chuckled against her neck, which he’d just been nuzzling, “You sound like Ser Pounce.”

 

She giggled and then frowned, “I miss that cat.”

 

“Weirdly I miss him too,” Robb agreed, his fingers running over her ribs and making her shiver.

 

It was a rotten day outside, rain and wind, even some hail. She’d ran over to his house that morning and he’d immediately brought her into the shower because she’d been soaked through in spite of the short distance, warming her body with his.

 

She’d dressed in a pair of his sweatpants and one of his sweaters, and he’d pulled a pair of the socks his mom had knit for him on her feet. They’d crawled into bed and hadn’t gotten out of it six hours later.

 

She arched her neck backwards and he took the hint, continuing his attentions to it. He pressed soft, leisurely kisses to her, and she breathed in his clean boy smell, kissing his hair and running her fingers through it.

 

Her hand wandered down to his back and she rubbed his shoulders gently. He put his body through so much with rugby and it felt like every time they made love she found a different bruise on his perfect body.

 

He moaned against her neck, causing vibrations against it, so she kneaded him a bit more firmly.

 

“God El that feels really good,” he told her.

 

“Lay down,” she told him.

 

He got off of her and laid down on his stomach, hugging a pillow to him. He always reminded her of Rickon when he did that, the way his little brother would hold his stuffed wolf. She pressed a loving kiss to his cheek, hugging him gently, because she couldn’t hug the littlest Stark that she missed so much.

 

She got on his back, sitting on his butt and started rubbing his shoulders. He groaned and she moved down his back, working the knots she found there.

 

She’d always loved his back, it was so muscled, so impossibly masculine.

 

She dug her palm underneath his shoulder blade and he groaned in pleasure, so she repeated it with his other.

 

“God El you’re even better than my PT,” he said appreciatively.

 

She leaned down and said in his ear, “Wow baby, you really know how to make a girl feel special.”

 

He chuckled, grabbing her by the back of the head and pressed a kiss to her cheek and she sat back up, continuing her attentions.

 

“Robb, El, you decent?,” they heard.

 

“Go away,” Robb shouted at the same time as she said, “Yes.”

 

The door opened and Jon stood there. He looked at them, Robb laying on his stomach in sweatpants, her covered head to toe in oversized garments, and then the tv.

 

“Is this what boyfriends and girlfriends do?,” Jon asked.

 

“Um…,” she started and then realised she had no idea what boyfriends and girlfriends did, “I don’t know?”

 

“Massages and Parks & Rec? I want that…,” Jon grumbled, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

 

Robb chucked a pillow at him, “Stop looking at her like that, man.”

 

“But she’s so prettttty,” Jon teased him because Robb was so easy to fluster.

 

All the boys liked to pretend to hit on her in front of him. All except Sam and Gendry anyway. They asked her to sit next to them at dinner or complimented a new dress. They never let her carry _anything_ and always asked her to be their beer pong partner.

 

It drove Robb crazy. She thought it was hilarious.

 

“No massages, but you can watch with us,” she told him, gesturing to Robb’s overstuffed armchair.

 

Jon grinned and sat down, and she got off of Robb and sat back against his headboard. It wasn’t that there was anything _sexual_ about what she was doing, but even still it felt a little strange to be in that position in front of him.

 

“I really fucking hate you sometimes, Snow,” Robb told him, sitting up as well.

 

She opened her legs, knowing how she could appease him, and he gave her a soft, satisfied smile and sat in between them, his back to her front.

 

She wrapped her arms around him, her cheek on his shoulder, laughing as Tom and Donna tried on a myriad of ridiculous outfits.

 

“ _Treat yo self_ ,” Jon intoned from the chair and even Robb laughed.

 

“Fine. Leather. Goods,” she agreed.

 

Robb grabbed his t shirt and pulled it on and then settled back against her, rubbing her legs absentmindedly.

 

“If you had to fight Ron Swanson or Captain Holt, who’d you choose?,” Robb turned to Jon and asked.

 

Jon rubbed his cheek as though that was _the_ question, and thought about it for a while.

 

“Swanson,” he finally said definitively.

 

“Totally,” Robb nodded, as though he’d chosen his best friend very well.

 

She couldn’t disagree with him. Well, she’d rather fight Captain Holt because Ron Swanson might bite your ear off, but she couldn’t disagree with him about _Jon_.

 

They’d both teased him about it at first, but it had become abundantly clear very early on why it was so important to Robb that the pair of them became friends. Jon was his _person_. His barometer. He was his moral compass and his yardstick. And Robb was the same for him.

 

They were as close as brothers, though more often than not they acted like rivals, and fierce friends. A slight against one was a slight against both, but it was more than just testosterone. They took care of each other the way that she and Sansa did.

 

It had been easy, really. Jon wasn’t the warmest guy in the world to most people, but she knew that he was inclined to like her from the start out of loyalty to Robb. She liked to think that she’d won him over on her own though, and he was more like her and Gendry than Robb was - more of an observer than anything else.

 

He was kind to her, so kind, and horribly protective.

 

“April or Gina?,” she asked.

 

“To date?,” Jon asked.

 

“No to fight,” she replied.

 

“April,” they said in tandem and she giggled. She would have chosen April too.

 

Her phone buzzed on Robb’s night stand and Jon tossed it to her. She had a text from Ygritte.

 

_How are you spending this shit Saturday?_

 

“Get her over here,” Robb said excitedly.

 

“Get who over here?,” Jon wondered.

 

“Ygritte,” she informed him, and she and Robb turned just in time to see Jon’s cheeks turn pink. “Oh Jon.”

 

“Go away,” he mumbled and she giggled.

 

“Dude, you like her, so wouldn’t spending time with her be a good thing?,” Robb asked.

 

Jon scoffed, “You have a girlfriend for a few months and suddenly you’re some relationship guru.”

 

“It doesn’t take a relationship guru to know that its hard to date someone if you don’t see them,” Robb pointed out.

 

“What do you think, El?,” Jon asked and Robb through his hands up in exasperation.

 

She stroked his head, “Don’t worry, you’re so pretty.” He and Jon chuckled and she went on, “I mean… Ygritte is great, you’re great. You’re attracted to her and she’s definitely made some choice comments about your ass. But, she’s my friend and you’re Robb’s friend and it’s completely disgusting outside, so maybe this doesn’t have to be a big deal? I’ll just tell her to come over in her cosiest clothes and just hang out with us. We’ll smoke some weed and make some pizza and if you guys end up falling madly in love, great, and if not, you’ll be high and have a whole pizza to eat so…”

 

“See, Robb? _That’s_ helpful,” Jon said, “You’re so intense.”

 

“I JUST SAID YOU SHOULD SPEND TIME WITH HER.”

 

“YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT, MAN.”

 

If it were any other girl, she might feel guilty encouraging her to come to the madhouse. But Ygritte was cool and tough and could absolutely hold her own.

 

It had turned out that they had a literature class together, and had become friends over the past couple of weeks. She lived in the dorm next to her, so they hung out a bunch. Like her, Ygritte was surrounded mostly with guys, and when it was just the two of them she was a bit softer, and horribly horribly funny.

 

Now on Tuesday nights she had someone to paint her nails with. Gilly had even come over last Tuesday and they’d gotten drunk on a bottle of white wine like absolute amateurs and Gilly had almost peed in her pants laughing as she drunk dialled Sam.

 

She really enjoyed spending time with them both. Neither of them were a _Sansa_ , but nobody got two Sansas in a lifetime. There was no god that would be that generous.

 

Even still, it was nice having girls to hang out with, and she and Ygritte complemented each other well. Ygritte made her a little bit more wild and she brought her back down to earth a bit. It worked.

 

And she’d done more than just compliment Jon’s ass. But it wasn’t Ella’s place to say so.

 

_I’m at the boys’. We are having ourselves an oafish day and would love for you to join._

 

Ygritte typed back _How does Jon look?_

 

So she answered _Gorgeous and broody, as always._

 

_Be there in ten._

 

“Jon,” she said as gently as she was able, “She’s going to be here in ten minutes and - “

 

“Oh fuck, I have to clean my room!”

 

*

 

Things escalated rather quickly after that. They hadn’t gotten halfway through the movie when Jon had stood up and led Ygritte out by the hand towards his room. She and Robb giggled like school kids at first, commending themselves on their matchmaking abilities, but when Ygritte and Jon were on their fifth round of the evening they were a bit less giddy - and a good deal more tired.

 

After that, Jon and Ygritte were JonandYgritte. Completely inseparable and vaguely nauseating. Though sweet, really. Kind of. When they weren’t fighting. Or fucking loudly.

 

Her first semester seemed to be speeding by, and Sansa and Theon would be there the next weekend to visit. She couldn’t wait for them to come, they, her and Robb all had a group chat going which was updated constantly and she and Sansa had a separate text chain that they didn’t want the boys on and facetimed a few days a week, but it wasn’t the same.

 

Sansa and Theon were still going strong in spite of a few rough patches at first. As with Robb, there were a number of girls at Theon’s school that didn’t seem to accept that he was in an exclusive relationship. Where she usually found it funny, Robb always looked _terrified_ of the girls, Sansa had found it less so. She’d called her crying a couple weeks back because some girl had sent Theon unsolicited nudes.

 

 _I don’t get it, is he that great in bed?_ she wondered, because she couldn’t quite understand what would make a girl do that.

 

 _Yeah, he really is_ Sansa had confirmed glumly.

 

As far as she could tell though, Theon had been very well behaved, and a lot of the time the pair of them seemed really happy. She was admittedly a little curious to see what their dynamic would be like next weekend, but all in all she had high hopes that they’d stay together and happy for a long time yet.

 

She and Robb had been planning all sorts of activities. There would be a party at his house, of course, and they’d all go to watch his rugby game, but they were also going to take them skiing. She’d found an incredible fabric store in town that she wanted to take Sansa to, and she knew that Robb and Theon would want some boy time as well.

 

“We have to take them to that weird pub we found too,” Robb cut into her thoughts.

 

“Definitely,” she agreed.

 

They hadn’t been talking about what they were going to do with Sansa and Theon but she didn’t question that his thoughts mirrored her own. Their minds seemed to trade thoughts all the time, she’d started not to even notice.

 

“You can’t wear that,” he told her.

 

She scrunched her nose at him, “You don’t get to tell me what to wear.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “I’m serious, you’ll regret it. We’re going to be dancing for _hours_.”

 

She looked down at her outfit. She was wearing a pair of ankle boots and a black dress that she’d thought that he would like.

 

“Well, what exactly does one where to a _rave_? Also, are we really calling it a rave? It’s not 1995,” she pointed out.

 

He chuckled, “You can call it whatever you want to call it. It’s a warehouse party with something like six dj’s and people will be dressing like it’s 1995. But they are going to be thrashing all around and I don’t want you breaking your ankle because some idiot tries to crowd surf.”

 

She rolled her eyes, seeing his point. He was always so logical and caring. It would be annoying if she didn’t love it so much.

 

“Fine,” she said and sat down on her bed, unzipping her ankle boots.

 

She kicked them off and stood up, pulling her dress up her body and letting it fall to the floor.

 

Robb stood up and started walking towards her.

 

“No,” she warned, “We told them we’d meet them by nine.”

 

He grinned, “They’re always late…”

 

“Don’t try because you know I’ll give in,” she ordered. He gave her a small smile, “Stop looking at me like that.”

 

“Like what?,” he asked innocently.

 

“Like I’m…delicious,” she said in annoyance and he chuckled.

 

“But you are delicious,” he teased, pulling her by her waist towards him. Her body responded to him immediately, like it always did, her nipples peaked by the time they were pressed against his chest. His hand moved down and her gripped her butt, “Every inch of you.”

 

“And I want to feel every inch of you,” she promised, standing up on her tiptoes, leaning in as though she was going to kiss him, “When we get home.”

 

“I love it when you tease me, honey. And fine, we’ll _wait_ , it’s probably better because after I’m done with you…,” he trailed off, a small grin on his face.

 

“Now whose the tease?,” she asked and he smacked a kiss on her lips and released her.

 

She went into her closet and tried to find her most _rave_ appropriate clothes. She didn’t really have any, because she’d never been to one.

 

She settled for a black crewneck tank top and a pair of leather leggings, pulling on a pair of plain white sneakers, because she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun because her feet were hurting. She stepped out of her closet and put her hand on my hip.

 

“Is this better?,” she wondered, looking in the mirror, turning from one side to the other.

 

“Um, how long have you had those?,” Robb asked. “The leather pants…”

 

She shrugged, “A couple months I guess?”

 

He nodded, “I know I can’t tell you what to wear but um… can you… wear them more?”

 

She looked at him and found his eyes roving over her hungrily. She adored being looked at that way by him. It made her feel gorgeous and loved and even a little dangerous.

 

She milked it and turned around, “Really? They don’t make my butt look weird?”

 

He was to her in a second, pulling her roughly back against him, chuckling lustfully in her ear, “You’re such a fucking tease, Baratheon,” he told her, one of his hands squeezing her breast, “I might just have to punish you when we get home.”

 

A jolt of excitement ran through her body. He’d gotten a bit rougher with her, ever since the night they’d fucked on the desk while a party was going on on the other side of the door. Sometimes when they made love it was still very much that, all sweetness and heavy breaths, intertwined fingers and promises of _always_ whispered between them. She loved that, needed it in such a way that it consumed her. She could cry sometimes with the rightness of it, the way it felt to love him and be loved by him in return, the truth between them when their bodies were joined. But other times he was rough and dirty and wild and she found that she craved that too.

 

She turned to him and said, “Promise?”

 

His eyes bore into hers and he grabbed her face and pulled it to his, pressing one, hot, lingering kiss to her lips. When he pulled away she was starry eyed and he gave her a cocky grin that made her snap out of it.

 

They grabbed their coats and hats and mittens and trudged out into the snow. It wasn’t even Halloween yet but The Vale was kind of like the North. It got cold so early and stayed cold so long.

 

She didn’t mind it as much here though, not when they could ski every weekend, and all the restaurants had heated patios so you could still sit outside happily on sunny days.

 

And she especially didn’t mind it when Robb pulled her hand into his coat pocket along with his.

 

He hailed them a taxi and they drove through the downtown streets to the outskirts. It was odd, it looked like a pretty suburban area. But then the taxi driver kept driving, and they found themselves in the forest.

 

She scooted closer to Robb and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

 

“I’ve got you, honey,” he whispered in her ear.

 

Her nerves dissipated immediately and she breathed him in. She’d be content to stay in the back of this taxi all night, his body against hers, but the driver pulled up and the windows started shaking.

 

She looked at Robb and he grinned at her, beckoning her own and he paid the driver and lead her out.

 

She headed for the back of the line but he grabbed the back of her coat and then placed his hand on her back and lead her right to the doorman. He was enormous, with red hair and a red beard, wearing a t shirt in spite of the cold.

 

“Back of the line buddy,” he said to Robb and then looked at her, “You can come in though, beauty.”

 

She opened her mouth to tell Robb they should just get in line but Robb shook his head and said, “We’re friends with Ygritte.”

 

“Ygritte?,” the man’s face lit up into a smile, “She’s inside, got herself a new boy, he’s prettier than my daughters… go, go inside, and if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll sort them out.”

 

Robb grinned and thanked him and they walked inside. People who’d been waiting in line started yelling but the doorman fixed them all with a look that shut them up pretty quickly.

 

She pulled off her hat and mittens and stuffed them into the sleeve of her coat. It was cool inside, along the edges where they were, but in the middle where thousands of bodies were dancing she knew it would be hotter than hell.

 

“Is there coat check?,” she yelled to Robb.

 

He looked over at her and grinned, “You’re adorable, you know that?”

 

She blushed and he lead her right by the piles of coats and straight to the bar. He said something to the bartender who nodded and Robb grabbed her coat and handed the guy a couple of bills. Their coats disappeared and a plastic cup filled with clear liquid appeared in front of her.

 

She sniffed it, it was gin so she took a sip. She coughed a bit and took another sip. It was definitely not what she was used to but it wasn’t bad either.

 

It was wild in here, she could feel the music rattling her bones. Robb was right, everyone was dressed like it was 1995 and taking one look at the dance floor she was grateful that he’d made her change. Nobody was thrashing about but it looked like a sea of limbs and this music made her want to dance, _really_ dance. She didn’t want to bop her head or move her hips, she wanted her whole body in motion.

 

“I thought you’d like it,” Robb said in her ear.

 

She looked up at him and smiled, slipping her hand into his and they walked to the VIP area where Ygritte had told them to meet her and Jon.

 

The guy pulled the same move with them there, but Ygritte spotted them and waved them in. The doorman acquiesced and lifted the rope and she pulled Robb inside, excited to see their friends.

 

Jon was standing, all but bouncing as Ygritte sat on the couch, a slender arm extended behind her like she half-expected someone to paint her portrait.

 

Jon turned to them, a bright smile on his face, and pulled her and Robb into a hug, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

 

Robb chuckled and patted his back, “We’re glad to be here too, buddy.”

 

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek and his forehead fell against hers.

 

“Do that again,” he said and she chuckled, figuring he was just taking the piss out of Robb once again. But he was stroking her hair, “It’s so soft.”

 

She was surprised that Robb extracted his hand from her gently, pressing his other hand to Jon’s chest and pushing him away from her but not _pushing_. Stranger still, Jon covered that hand in his, gripping it.

 

“I love you, man,” Jon told him.

 

“I love you too,” Robb promised.

 

She wasn’t sure exactly what was going on but she sat down on the couch next to Ygritte, who pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

 

“What’s up with Jon?,” she asked.

 

Ygritte smiled and said, “He’s come up.”

 

“Come up to what?,” she asked.

 

Ygritte looked at her and looked like she was going to laugh but then said in her ear, “MDMA, he’s high.”

 

“Oh,” Ella giggled, it all made sense. No wonder the broody Jon Snow was the human embodiment of the heart-eye emoji. She should have guessed, most of the people here were probably on one thing or another, and there’d been some girls at a party last week that had been on it. She glanced at Ygritte, who looked wholly content with herself - though she always did - and asked, “Are you?”

 

Ygritte closed her eyes and nodded, picking her hair up and letting it fall all around her pretty face.

 

“What does it feel like?,” she wondered.

 

“Borrowed happiness,” Ygritte answered without missing a beat.

 

She smiled and sipped her drink. She wanted to go dance, but Robb and Jon settled on either side of her and Ygritte.

 

Robb curled around her and wrapped his arm around her waist, and said in her ear, “They have more.”

 

She turned to look at him and asked, “Have you ever done it?”

 

He nodded, “Once, last year.”

 

“What did it feel like?,” she asked, because though Jon and Ygritte looked perfectly happy, Robb would never lie to her.

 

He tilted his head to the side, thinking about it, and then grinned, “It felt like my blood turned into champagne. Popping in my veins.”

 

“You want to do it,” she realised.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “It’s intense but really nice and I… I want to do it with you.”

 

She found herself blushing stupidly, “Why?”

 

He grinned, “Because being with you is the closest I’ve ever been to feeling that way _sober_.”

 

She knew exactly what he’d meant. Sometimes when they kissed it was like her entire body was lifting off the ground, like she was weightless, like nothing else existed, only him, them.

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and he kissed her back.

 

“Okay,” she said against his lips.

 

“Okay,” he said against hers.

 

She turned back around and had to clap her hands in front of Ygritte and Jon who were making out. They pulled apart, both starry-eyed. If they’d been drunk they would have both been grouchy with her but they looked at her lovingly.

 

“Can we have some?,” she asked, holding the arm that Robb had wrapped around her waist, his chin on her shoulder.

 

Ygritte grinned and reached into her pocket, “Open wide, baby girl.” She felt Robb rub his knuckles on her abdomen, calming her nerves and she opened her mouth. Ygritte placed a small pill on her tongue and then turned to Robb, “You too, handsome.”

 

Before she could think anymore of it she took a sip of her drink and swallowed it.

 

“How will I know if it’s working?,” she asked.

 

“You’ll know,” they all answered.

 

She grinned and shrugged, trusting them, and went to take another sip of her drink. Jon grabbed it from her though and handed her a water bottle instead.

 

Ygritte stood up wordlessly and took her hand. She stood up as well and followed her out of the VIP space, Robb and Jon on their heels.

 

Ygritte started leading her through the throngs of people dancing, and she wasn’t sure if the crowd was parting for Ygritte or for Robb behind her, but they parted all the same.

 

They all stopped when they’d gotten to a point where they couldn’t see any of the walls. It should have felt claustrophobic, but strangely it didn’t, and the music was so good that she started dancing immediately.

 

She’d never really been into electro or whatever this was called, but that was because she’d never felt the bass reverberating in her chest, never stood in the middle of a thousand people all moving to the same beat as though tethered by string.

 

Ygritte started to dance, her eyes closed, her body moving in perfect sympathy with the music. There was a light sheen of sweat on her body already, and as though she were a magnet, Jon fused against her. It was like they were dancing in slow motion, their bodies moving as one. It wasn’t even sexual, but it was oddly mesmerising.

 

She looked at Robb to see if he was feeling anything, but he merely smiled his normal smile at her, dancing happily.

 

She moved her hips, her arms above her head, closing her eyes and giving into it all. Her cheeks felt flushed but her body felt cool, and it was familiar, like going for a run on a cold day, or sitting in the lake, the sun on her face.

 

The beat picked up and her body went with it, and then she felt an electric caress on her arm.

 

She opened her eyes, her fingers already reaching and found Robb all of a sudden right there, his hands on her arms. She looked up at him and his eyes were nearly black but no less beautiful, and he was looking at her like he’d never seen anything quite like her.

 

“Do you feel that?,” he asked, his finger trailing down her arm and she shivered.

 

The base had dropped and all around them people were dancing wildly but she and Robb were standing still and she’d never experienced anything like it.

 

“I feel everything,” she told him.

 

Champagne bubbles and adrenaline and him.

 

His hands moved up to her face and she closed her eyes at the feel of it, his lips touched hers and she gasped into his mouth. He kissed her slowly, patiently, his hands still cupping her cheeks, one of her arms wrapped around his neck, her other hand on his chest. All at once their bodies started swaying, and when she opened her eyes fireworks went off. The beat was rising once again and he opened his eyes and grinned at her, and they started dancing as one.

 

She placed her hands on his shoulders as it really took off and he had his hands on her waist and they were bouncing up and down and all of her atoms were hugging his.

 

“Is it what you expected?,” she asked him.

 

He shook his head, the vast orbs of his eyes drinking her in, drowning her, “More. You’re always so much more.”

 

She was about to tell him that he was too, but she felt a new hand on hers and she looked behind her.

 

“How do you feel, baby girl?,” Ygritte asked and Ella could only smile. “Attagirl.”

 

She twirled Ygritte, her best dance partner, and the other girl pulled her to her. She smelled good, like lavender and mint, and her hand was so soft in hers.

 

Ygritte draped her arms over her shoulders and they danced together. Her body felt good against her, so different than Robb’s, softer, smaller.

 

Ygritte ran her hands through her hair and it felt like electric currents, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation.

 

And then she felt a pair of unfamiliar lips press to hers.

 

She knew she wasn’t supposed to, so she pulled away and turned to Robb.

 

He was watching her already.

 

“Robb,” she said simply.

 

He stepped to her, “I’m here, honey. I’ve got you.”

 

She wasn’t sure if he’d seen so she said, “I kissed Ygritte, I’m sorry.”

 

“Did you like it?,” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” she told him truthfully.

 

She had liked dancing with Ygritte but the kiss had only lasted a second. But everything felt so good, even guilt.

 

“I liked it,” he told her and she looked up at him, “You’re so beautiful together.”

 

“Do you want me to kiss her again?,” she asked.

 

_Say yes. Tell me to. I want to. But I don’t know what that means._

 

She wondered if he could hear her thoughts even now.

 

He pushed some hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear and smiled softly at her, as though he knew and he’d always give her exactly what she needed, “Yeah, I want you to.”

 

“Stay close?,” she asked and he nodded.

 

She turned back to Ygritte, and reached out and rubbed her hand up her arm. Ygritte’s eyes closed and she smiled, and she continued moving upwards until she wrapped her arm around her neck.

 

Her body pressed against hers, her soft breasts against hers, and her other arm wrapped around her waist.

 

Ygritte’s wrapped around her waist and then moved down and squeezed her butt.

 

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the minute I first saw you,” Ygritte told her.

 

She leaned in slowly and pressed her lips to hers. It was so different, but it felt nice.

 

Everything felt so nice.

 

The hand around her waist moved up so that she could cup Ygritte’s face and deepen the kiss, and she sucked on Ygritte’s bottom lip the way Robb liked. She seemed to like it too and deepened the kiss, her tongue moving against hers.

 

It set off explosions in her mind and her hand disappeared into Ygritte’s soft hair.

 

She felt a different pair of hands on her hips, a pair of lips at her neck and she would have been frightened but she could smell Robb’s smell, felt the familiar feel of his body.

 

Ygritte stopped kissing her and took one look at Robb and then leaned down and kissed the other side of her neck. She moaned, it felt too good, having two people kissing her, one soft the other hard, their hands roaming over her.

 

She opened her eyes and saw Jon staring at her. His mouth was open slightly and his eyes, already nearly black, were shining with want. His whole body looked tensed, as though holding himself back.

 

He wanted. She wasn’t sure which one of them he wanted, but he wanted and there was only one of them he could have.

 

She stroked her hand through Ygritte’s hair and said her name. Ygritte looked up at her lustfully, kissing her lips again and Ella gave into it for a moment longer before pulling away.

 

“Jon,” she said and Ygritte looked to her right.

 

She stepped towards him and he stepped towards her, grabbing her by the back of her head and kissing her. She smiled, watching them. They were so pretty together, so happy - not fighting.

 

She turned around and looked up at Robb. He smiled down at her and they started dancing once again.

 

An upbeat song was on, and she felt like there was a breeze in the room though she wasn’t sure where it had come from. Robb’s skin was sparkling and every move of her hair was a caress.

 

She jumped up and down, her arms above her head. The floor felt like a trampoline, and the lights kept changing, each one becoming her favourite as soon as they fell upon his face.

 

She jumped up and as though he’d been afraid she would reach the moon he grabbed her to him, their faces inches from one another.

 

He was looking into her eyes, as though there were entire continents inside he had yet to explore, and she smiled at him, because it was impossible not to.

 

“I really fucking love you,” he told her.

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, “Maybe it’s the drugs.”

 

“No,” he shook his head and grinned at her, and then threw his head back and laughed, letting out a _woop_ and looking back at her, “No. I’m going to marry you someday, Myrcella Penelope Baratheon. Mark my words.”

 

“Is that a proposal?,” she teased, though her heart was thudding in her chest.

 

He leaned his forehead against hers, “It’s a promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'll still with me?


	14. Chapter 14

 

“El, you’re vibrating,” he teased.

 

She shoved him, “I’m just excited.”

 

“I know, me too,” he agreed.

 

Sansa and Theon had landed a half hour before at Eyrie International Airport. His little sister had been documenting their entire journey, her instagram story had to be at least fifteen pictures long at this point, and Ella had been devouring it all.

 

She’d been on edge all week. She’d cleaned her dorm room and then his bedroom, even though he’d told her that he would. Edd was out of town this weekend so she’d then cleaned _his_ room and put brand new sheets and a new comforter on the bed for “Theon”. As far as his parents were told, Sansa would be staying with Ella and Theon would be staying with him. And as far as he was concerned _that_ was what was happening regardless of the realities of the sleeping arrangements.

 

He was looking forward to seeing them. He and Theon kept in touch, but nothing like Sansa and Ella - it would be physically impossible for two people not in the same place to speak to each other more than Sansa and Ella - and he wanted to hear about how things were really going. He knew that there had been a few ugly fights between the two of them, which he supposed was normal, but they both insisted they were happy and solid.

 

He was actually getting a little worried because he and Ella _hadn’t_ fought yet. There had been that whole business when Sansa walked in on them over the summer, but since then it had been completely smooth sailing. There were moments of course when one of them wasn’t their best, he snapped at her after a rugby game that he’d played really poorly in and she’d done the same when she’d gotten a B+ on a paper. But they both apologised so quickly, telling the other that it wasn’t them, they were just disappointed in themselves, and the other had been quick to assure them that it was alright, that they were doing better than they thought, that they loved them even if they were a total hack/dummy.

 

He never got angry with _her_ though, never, and she never seemed to get angry at him. He was a little worried, because from everything he’d heard, couples were supposed to fight. He didn’t particularly want to fight with her, he didn’t want to be like Jon and Ygritte that picked at each other constantly. She was too smart to fight with, he’d definitely lose, and he also just didn’t like the idea of it - of them saying mean things to one another.

 

He knew he’d have to get over that, because it was bound to happen, but he’d take a happy, drama-free relationship for as long as he could get it.

 

He looked over at Ella and smiled. She was trying to keep herself busy by working on a paper while they waited and she was wearing her glasses, her hair up in a high ponytail, a fuzzy white sweater on.

 

“Hey El?,” he asked. She turned to him and raised her eyebrows, “Do I ever piss you off?”

 

Because apparently he couldn’t help himself, and starting their first fight ten minutes before their best friends showed up was obviously a good decision.

 

“Like when you interrupt me mid-closing argument?,” she asked, gesturing to her computer.

 

He grinned, “No I mean _actually_ piss you off.”

 

She scrunched her nose adorably, “No, I don’t think so. You’re so nice to me.”

 

She was really nice to him too. She did things for him all the time without even asking, always listened when he needed to talk something through. She was always happy to see him.

 

“Hm,” he nodded, because maybe they were just _better_ than other couples.

 

He liked the idea of that a lot.

 

“What?,” she asked, closing her computer and placing it on the coffee table.

 

She turned and tucked her feet up under her and focused on him entirely. She always did that when he spoke to her, she never texted while you were talking to her or tried to do something else. That’s why it always annoyed her when he tried to talk to her while she studied, because she never did anything halfway.

 

“I was just thinking that we never fight,” he told her.

 

She cocked her head to the side and then a smile graced her gorgeous face, “Oh, yeah, I guess we don’t.”

 

“Do you think that’s bad?,” he asked.

 

“Do you want to fight with me?,” she asked.

 

“No,” he answered honestly, “Of course not… I’ve just… well… what if it means that there’s I don’t know… something wrong with us, like… a lack of passion or something.”

 

“A lack of passion,” she repeated and he nodded. She sputtered out a laugh and then moved forward so she could sit in his lap. She pushed his hair off of his face, and up close he could see just how perfect her skin was, her nose dotted in freckles, her jadeite eyes like a cool river, looking earnestly into his, “I don’t mean to laugh at you if you’re really concerned about this, but are you forgetting how I woke up this morning?”

 

He closed his eyes and let out noise that sounded strangely like Grey Wind.

 

He’d gone for a run that morning and come back and found her naked in his bed. It wasn’t a rare occurrence but it hadn’t lost its lustre either. She’d moved to the spot that he’d vacated, probably drawn to the warmth he’d left behind, and she’d looked like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

 

He hadn’t even showered, he’d just gone to the bed and pulled the covers off of her, moving her onto her back and opened her legs, lowering his face to her. She’d woken up mid-orgasm, and when he’d gone to go shower she’d wordlessly followed behind. The water had gone cold by the time they were finished, after he’d made love to her up against the wall and then fucked her roughly from behind. He’d come twice, she’d come three times, and they’d fallen back into bed, kissing every inch of the other’s newly clean body for the next hour before they’d finally gotten up for class. He’d walked her to hers and then sprinted to his and when he got there he had a text message from her saying _My alarm clock is going in the garbage, you’re the only wake up call I want from now on._

 

“Good point,” he allowed.

 

She ran her knuckle gently across his cheek bone and he could tell she was thinking something through so he waited, his fingers rubbing her back.

 

“I’m sure we’ll have a fight,” she said after a moment, “A lot of them, it’s bound to happen. But I don’t think we should worry about what it means that we don’t, because every couple is different, right? And you and I were such good friends first, maybe we’re just…”

 

“Better?,” he supplied.

 

She giggled, “No, but _different_.”

 

He pretended to cough, “Better.”

 

She was about to shove him when his doorbell rang. Her entire face lit up, “They’reherethey’rehere.”

 

She hopped off his lap and sprinted to the door, opening it wide. She was in Theon’s arms in the next moment, and comically was reaching for Sansa as Theon was hugging her. Sansa was slapping Theon’s back impatiently and he finally set Ella down.

 

Sansa and Ella embraced, rocking back and forth, speaking over each other, laughing, crying. He and Theon watched helplessly, stupid grins on their faces watching it all.

 

“Sansa’s been a wreck,” Theon confided.

 

“So has Ella,” he confirmed.

 

Then, as though they were realising that they hadn’t seen one another either, they reached for each other and hugged briefly.

 

When the girls finally broke apart, he tackled Sansa in a hug. He’d missed her so much, and she burrowed into him, squeezing him tightly.

 

“All good, Dovey?,” he asked softly in her ear.

 

She nodded, hugging him tighter, “I just missed you.”

 

“I missed you too,” he told her honestly.

 

There was something to it though. It was different than when he’d gone home for Thanksgiving last year. She’d leapt into his arms, so excited to tell him everything. She’d already been accepted to the Fashion Institute and she’d been overwhelmed with happiness. She’d tugged him up to her bedroom and asked him tons of questions, though they’d spoken every week.

 

This was different though, she hadn’t burrowed into his chest as though she wanted to hide from the world.

 

He figured that it might just be that he was her first bit of home other than Theon that she’d had since she moved away. Last year he’d come to her, she’d had Ella and their family, all her friends. Now though, she’d been on her own. So maybe it was just that.

 

For some reason though, he doubted it.

 

*

 

“You didn’t!,” Sansa gasped.

 

“We did,” Ella nodded, “Don’t tell your parents.”

 

Sansa rolled her eyes, “As if I would tell Mom and Dad you did ecstasy. Dad would fly down here just to kick Robb’s ass and then wrap you in a cocoon and tell you that you had never done anything wrong in your life _ever._ ”

 

He chuckled because that’s exactly how his Dad would respond to hearing that.

 

They were sitting outside at the on campus pub, the girls wrapped up and him and Theon in jeans and sweaters. There were heaters outside and it was a beautiful day, and they had a smorgasbord of appetisers in front of them. He and Theon were drinking beers as Ella sipped on a cider and Sansa drank some tea - she’d never been a great flier and her nerves were a bit too jumbled to drink.

 

They’d been catching up on their first semesters, trading war stories. Apparently Sansa had almost gotten in a girl fight with an ex of Theon’s, and Theon _had_ gotten in a fight when some guy had been pawing at Sansa on the dance floor at some night club.

 

He couldn’t really picture his little sister in a nightclub, even though he knew from both Ella and her instagram that she frequented them often. The south was so different than here, and though they’d been at that warehouse party last weekend, they spent very little time in bars and mostly spent time at house parties and at people’s cabins in the mountains.

 

“So what was it like?,” Sansa asked Ella.

 

He glanced over at her and she looked at him and blushed. He wondered what part of the night was causing that beautiful pink to rise on her cheeks. If he had to guess, it was the fact that she’d kissed Ygritte, but it could have been what had happened when he’d brought her back to his house.

 

The MDMA had given them a ton of energy, and their love for each other only reinforced the chemicals it was putting into their brains, so they’d made love for hours. He’d never really had an out of body experience, but even looking back on it now he wasn’t entirely convinced they hadn’t become one person as their bodies joined.

 

He smiled at her and she smiled back, and he felt her hand squeeze his knee.

 

So it had been that.

 

Ella turned to Sansa and told her, “It was strange, because I was totally coherent, and I still felt like _me_ , you know it wasn’t the way you get when you blackout and do something you’d never do otherwise… it was just like every positive thought I’d ever had hit me all at once.”

 

Sansa sipped her tea and then asked, “Would you do it again?”

 

Ella glanced at him and he raised his eyebrows at her. He hadn’t asked her that.

 

“With Robb,” she affirmed and then noted to him, “If you wanted, sometime.”

 

They’d talked about it the next day, what had happened. She’d been worried that he’d be upset with her, about kissing Ygritte and he’d assured that he wasn’t. He told her that if it was just the MDMA and a bit of curiosity that was okay because it was college and everyone was good looking and kissing felt good. And he’d told her that if it _wasn’t_ all it was, that if she was attracted to girls, or thought she might be, that was okay too. She’d told him she wasn’t sure and he told her _that_ was okay too.

 

He’d offered to let her explore that on her own and she’d shaken her head _No, if I was ever to try anything, I’d want you there, would you be? I know it’s selfish, but…_

 

His chest had swelled with pride at the faith, the utter trust she had in him.

 

He made her brave, she’d always told him, and she made him better, he’d always known.

_Yeah, honey, I’d be there. I’ll be there, always, you never have to do anything, anything in this world on your own. And um, honey, watching you with another girl wouldn’t exactly be a task…_

 

He covered her hand that was still on his knee with his own and interlaced their fingers.

 

“Yeah, sometime, maybe, together,” he agreed.

 

He looked over and caught Sansa’s eye. She’d been staring off, and for a moment she looked incredibly young and a little bit lost, but she smiled at him brightly.

 

“What’s on the agenda for tonight, troops?,” she asked in a too-cheerful tone.

 

“Death, destruction,” Ella said and turned to Theon and they both said, “The usual.”

 

“Or we could just ditch and go to dinner and a movie or something,” he told her. Everyone turned to look at him and Sansa blushed so he said, “If you’re tired from the trip or something.”

 

“No, I’m okay,” she said and then stood up, “I’m just going to go to the ladies before we head downtown.”

 

“I’ll come with you,” Ella said, standing up as well.

 

She wrapped her arm around Sansa’s waist and his little sister leaned her head on her shoulder, the pair walking off together.

 

“You good, man?,” Theon asked him.

 

“Just thinking,” Robb told him.

 

It was only half a lie. He was thinking, but he certainly wasn’t okay.

 

_How could he be when Sansa wasn’t?_

 

*

 

She wouldn’t tell him anything.

 

He’d hardly had a moment alone with her. She’d stayed glued to Ella’s side all afternoon, the pair of them buying loads and loads of fabrics from the store Ella had found. Apparently he was getting a new tuxedo.

 

It was navy blue and it was going to be awesome but that wasn’t the point.

 

He knew that he could have asked Ella to take Theon off. The two of them would be happy to spend hours goofing around, and he knew that, but Sansa wouldn’t leave Ella’s side and he didn’t want to cause a scene over what could be just a bad mood.

 

It wasn’t that she was grumpy or anything. More like she was preoccupied. Sansa had always been the type to come to things in her own time, and he knew that trying to get it out of her would only dig her heels in further.

 

Even still, it was frustrating that she didn’t seem to realise that he was her big brother and he’d fix whatever needed to be fixed if she’d just let him. Whatever was going on they could sort out, he was sure of that.

 

They’d ordered a bunch of pizzas to his house and everyone had been hanging out and eating and drinking. People would start arriving in the next half hour or so, but in the meantime Jon and Theon were playing video games, Sansa and Ella were in his room with Gilly getting ready or just avoiding the testosterone, and he and the other guys were just drinking a bit.

 

“Dude, what’s _with_ you?,” Theon asked him, “You’ve been moping all afternoon.”

 

“I have not,” he argued.

 

Theon rolled his eyes, “What’s up? You and El seem better than ever.”

 

“We are,” he agreed, “It’s…,” he started and then lowered his voice, “It’s Sansa. Does she seem a little… off to you?”

 

Theon sighed, pressing pause on the game and ignoring Jon when he protested. He ran his hands through his hair and wouldn’t meet his gaze, which was a sure sign of guilt.

 

 _No_.

 

This is what he’d been dreading since he’d first found out about them. That Theon would cheat and he’d have to murder him and then he wouldn’t have a best friend anymore. Well he’d have Jon but he wouldn’t have Theon anymore.

 

“Like I said, she’s been a wreck for days,” Theon said though, “I hoped it was just nerves and excitement, you know about coming here but… yeah I guess she still seems a bit off… she’s so happy but… yeah, there’s definitely something. She won’t talk to me though, she’s shutting me out in a way she never has…I’m…”

 

Theon trailed off and shook his head. The guys weren’t really paying attention but Theon wasn’t really the type to talk about his feelings anyway, definitely not in front of a group of guys he’d only met once before.

 

He pat his chest lightly and stood up and Theon followed. He could have taken him into the kitchen but he took him out to the front porch.

 

“Alright,” Robb said.

 

Theon shook his head, “I, we’ve been great, you know. I mean I look at you and Ella and a week ago we were just like you. You know… you know how… fuck I hate talking about this shit.”

 

Robb nodded and sighed, “Yeah I know but the truth is, Ella has turned me into a giant ball of mush so you can kind of say anything to me because I guarantee I’ve thought it.”

 

“Well you know how Ella looked at you at the pub? I don’t know what the hell you two were talking about in your heads, but I know that look. It’s the one that makes you feel like the most incredible person that has ever lived, because you’d have to be for _that girl_ to look at you like that.” Robb nodded, because that’s exactly how it felt. “That’s how Sansa looks at me. Looked at me. Something happened last week and -“

 

“What did you do?,” he couldn’t help but ask.

 

Theon’s eyes went wide, “ _Nothing_. Nothing, we went to a party last Saturday, everything was good. She wasn’t feeling great so I took her back to her dorm. I asked her if she wanted me to stay but she didn’t, so I went home and went to bed. I called her the next day and she didn’t call me back, texted her, nothing. I went over there, I was afraid something was really wrong, you know? But she wasn’t there. I looked everywhere for her, tried to get a hold of her, couldn’t. She shows up at my apartment in the middle of the night and just crawls into bed with me. She doesn’t say a fucking word and I’m just laying there like a total idiot. The next morning, we wake up, and she acts like everything is normal. But…”

 

“But she hasn’t look at you that way since,” he guessed.

 

Theon shook his head, and to Robb’s horror tears filled his eyes, “I’m going to lose her. Fuck - I can’t fucking lose her. I thought it was just the trip, you know, that things would go back to normal but… she’s… what if she just didn’t want to break up with me before the trip and ruin it, you know? That’s something she would do, she’s so god damn worried about other people’s feelings all the time.”

 

In any other situation Robb would have laughed at Theon lamenting over one of Sansa’s best qualities, but there was nothing funny about watching your best friend terrified of losing the love of his life.

 

“It’ll be okay,” he said, gripping his shoulder, “I’m sure it’s something silly, you know, she’s waiting to hear about that internship, right? Maybe she’s just stressed about that, or a term project, you know a weekend away from working on it? Ella gets a little weird when she’s out and hasn’t finished a paper. It’s like she’s thinking of topic sentences as she plays beer pong -“ Theon chuckled and shook his head. Robb sighed, “The point is, it may be something, or it may be nothing. But I don’t think you’re going to lose her. She loves you, you know maybe she hasn’t looked at you like the sun shines out of your ass in a few days, but she loves you, and she’s not the kind of girl that falls in and out of love so easily.”

 

Theon nodded, seeing the sense in that. It was true, he wouldn’t say it if it weren’t. Sansa loved Theon madly, she’d never been like this with any guy. She’d call Ella sometimes when she was hanging out here and she’d go into the library and they could all hear her squealing as she listened to whatever cute thing Theon had done for her, or the great date they’d been on. She’d come back into the living room smiling and say _He’s so good for her_.

 

He was about to tell him that when the door opened, and the two girls in question poked their beautiful faces out.

 

“Are you two gossiping?,” Sansa asked with a giggle.

 

“Us? Never…,” he said.

 

Ella stepped out onto the porch and then flung herself dramatically into Theon’s arms. He caught her easily, and she took the hat he’d been wearing off and put it on her head.

 

“You haven’t spent any time with me at all,” she pouted.

 

“Awww did you miss me, Goldie?,” Theon grinned, grabbing her legs so that he was cradling her in his arms.

 

“Onlyalittle,” she muttered stubbornly as he smacked kisses to her cheek.

 

“Alright then,” Theon sighed as though she was very tasking, “Then the time has come for me and you to do some shots.”

 

“It’s the only way forward,” Ella agreed solemnly.

 

“Do you want to walk?,” he asked, she fixed him with a look and he grinned, “Right, of course not.”

 

Sansa held the door for them and Theon carried Ella in bridal style and they heard her shouting “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS” and then a chorus of his housemates shouting “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS”.

 

He chuckled and Sansa smiled, perching on the porch railing.

 

“They adore her, huh?,” she guessed.

 

“Yeah, they do,” he agreed, “I think one or two of them are actually in love with her but… you know.”

 

“And you guys are good?,” she asked and then shook her head, “I mean, I know that you are from Ella but…”

 

“We’re good, Dovey, but um, right now I’d rather talk about you,” he told her.

 

Her Tully eyes looked into his, and for a moment she was the little girl that asked him to kill spiders for her and check in the bathtub for monsters. He wished they were just kids again, when problems were so easy to solve. There was no monster he wouldn’t slay for her, but they were larger beasts that lurked now.

 

She gave him a soft smile and shook her head, “Me? I’m fine…”

 

“Don’t lie to me,” he told her and her eyes widened, “You don’t have to tell me, though I wish you would. But don’t lie to me.”

 

She nodded and opened her mouth like she might tell him everything, but she closed it again, drawing her arms around her. He approached her slowly and pulled her off the railing and wrapped her in his arms.

 

She just let him hug her at first, but slowly her arms wrapped around him too. She pressed her cheek to his chest, and he stroked her hair gently. He was so afraid that his next move might break her, but she let out a shaky breath and clung to him tighter.

 

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but he wasn’t going to be the one to pull away. He’d stand out on his porch all night if she’d only let him help her.

 

“Oh _uh_ sorry we can come back-,” a familiar voice cut into his thoughts and he turned to his left.

 

Pod was there with Gendry, each of them holding up two handles of alcohol.

 

“No, sorry,” Sansa pulled away from him and said brightly, “Just missed his hugs, that’s all. I’m Sansa.”

 

“Wow you’re gorgeous,” Pod said, which was pretty fucking bold considering he still had his arm around her. He blushed and shook his head, “I’m Pod, Robb please don’t murder me I come in peace.”

 

That did the trick and Sansa let out a giggle, a real one, and turned to Gendry.

 

“Gendry,” he introduced himself simply.

 

The smile died on Sansa’s lips and she all but stepped away. He looked down at her and she looked like she’d seen a ghost.

 

“Gendry?,” she asked breathlessly, “You’re… you’re Gendry?”

 

Gendry looked understandably bewildered and nodded, “That’s me - do I know you?”

 

Sansa shook her head and said, “No I just…,” she started and seemed to realise they were all looking at her and she smiled and said, “I’ve just heard _so_ much about you, and you Pod! From Ella, of course, but um… I guess I’ve never seen a picture of you.”

 

Gendry nodded, “Yeah I want to go into government work so um, no social media pictures…”

 

“Oh,” Sansa nodded, “That makes sense. Why don’t you guys head in? They were all doing shots so I um… bet they’ll be glad to see you,” she finished gesturing to the bottles.

 

Pod smiled at her happily and Gendry nodded at her. He grabbed the door for them and let them inside.

 

He turned back, “Should we head in?” She peered in the doorway and then pulled the door closed, all but stepping on his toes. “Sansa, god.”

 

“You don’t see it?,” she asked.

 

“See what?,” he wondered.

 

“Gendry,” Sansa supplied. “You really don’t?”

 

He shook his head, “I mean I guess when I first met him I thought he looked kind of familiar but he grew up in King’s Landing.”

 

Sansa nodded and he could see the wheels turning in her mind. It wasn’t the same as before, for some reason, whatever this was had jolted her out of it.

 

He loved her, he really did, but she was driving him _mental_.

 

She hooked her arm through his and said, perceptive as always, “I know I’m driving you crazy, but I missed you so badly. Can we just have fun and deal with life tomorrow?”

 

“Fineeee,” he sighed.

 

He lead her inside and he was happy that only Pod and Gendry and his housemates and Gilly were here. The party would take off soon, but these were the people he really wanted her and Theon to meet.

 

They walked into the kitchen and found the group of them standing in a circle taking shots.

 

He couldn’t help but smile at Ella, who was wearing a prissy maroon dress, Theon’s baseball hat still backwards on her head, jumping up and down as she poured a double in the middle of it all.

 

“Drink, Waters,” she ordered, turning around and facing him, “And then apologise.”

 

“For _what_?,” Gendry guffawed, a grin on his face as he looked down at her.

 

“Doubting my prowess,” Ella said haughtily, as though it were obvious, handing him the shot and standing toe to toe with him in spite of their vast height difference.

 

Theon chuckled, wrapping his arms around Ella’s neck from behind and leaning his chin on his arm, “That’s my fucking girl.”

 

Jon looked vaguely offended by that, but Ella grinned and fixed Gendry with a challenging gaze.

 

Gendry grinned and shook his head, “You’re such a brat, you’re lucky I love you.”

 

He tossed the shot back and let out a _hoo-rah,_ slapping his cheeks rapidly. They all echoed with a _hoo-rah_ of their own, and soon shots were being poured for all of them.

 

Ella went into the cupboard and grabbed a clean shot glass and filled it, offering it to Sansa.

 

His little sister wrinkled her nose and shook her head, “No, can’t drink whiskey anymore.”

 

“Oh,” Theon chuckled, “Yeah that wa-“

 

“Not. One. Word,” Sansa practically growled at him and he couldn’t help but laugh because that was the Sansa he knew and loved.

 

The pair of them stared each other down and then everyone handed their shots to Theon, hoping getting him drunk would earn them the story. He waved them all off, citing loyalty to his Lady Stark above all else, and all those participating took the shots.

 

Gendry held his hands up in front of Ella and she made a fist and punched one and then the other.

 

“What on earth?,” Sansa asked at his side.

 

“He’s teaching her self-defence,” he explained, “Her and a bunch of girls in their dorm.”

 

“Come on, Baratheon, is that all you got?,” he taunted her.

 

It was a stupid move and Ella stomped on his foot, _hard_ , and as he doubled over went to punch him, but stopped at the last minute.

 

“Now that’s the way to fucking _do it_ ,” Gendry grinned, “Whose gonna mess with you, little one?”

 

“Idiots and dead men,” Ella smiled back and Gendry wrapped his arm around her shoulders, patting her head.

 

He went to release her but Sansa said, “Wait,” and she pulled out her phone. They both turned to look at her questioningly and she said, “I have to take a picture of you two.”

 

“Yeah no I told you I don’t do social media,” Gendry shook his head.

 

“I won’t post it, I promise,” Sansa said earnestly, “But I make Ella a scrapbook every year for her birthday and I want to make sure to get some good shots of all of her new friends. Please?”

 

That reminded him that Ella’s birthday was coming up. He still had a few months, it wasn’t until February, but he’d have to start brainstorming with Sansa what they should do for it and what he should get her.

 

Gendry nodded, “Okay, yeah as long as you don’t post it I guess that’s fine.”

 

Ella pulled off Theon’s hat and placed it haphazardly on Pod’s head. Theon promptly snatched it off his head and put it back on.

 

“Alright Waters, pretend you’re not competing with Jon for Mr. McBroody 2019 and give us a smile,” Ella ordered.

 

Gendry rolled his eyes but wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled, as did she.

 

“Can you actually do one when you’re not smiling?,” Sansa asked, after snapping a picture. Both Gendry and Ella looked at her in confusion and Sansa shrugged and teased, “I’m going for authenticity.”

 

Ella giggled and Gendry shook his head chuckling but they both gave the camera their best dead faces.

 

“How do we look?,” Ella asked excitedly.

 

Sansa looked at her phone, “Unbelievable… truly, unbelievable.”

 

*

 

The party was still going on, but he hadn’t seen Sansa or Ella for about an hour so he figured they’d both gone to bed. He walked up the stairs and down the hall to his room and opened it quietly, thinking he’d find Ella asleep.

 

She wasn’t though, she was at his dresser in a towel, having clearly just showered, pulling out something to wear to bed.

 

“You don’t need those for what I have planned for you,” he told her.

 

“I’m um,” she said, her voice tight, her back to him, “Not really in the mood.”

 

“Okay,” he nodded, though she couldn’t see him.

 

It was, though it was honestly a little confusing as well. The only times she’d ever said that was when she had her period, and she wasn’t due for that for a couple of weeks.

 

She pulled off the towel, revealing her naked back and pulled on a pair of his flannel pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt that had once belonged to his Dad. She went into his top drawer and pulled out a pair of socks and then wordlessly went into his bathroom to hang up her towel.

 

She came outside brushing her hair and she was still averting his gaze.

 

“Can I do that?,” he asked helplessly.

 

It was unlike her to see him after even an hour and not come over to kiss him. She loved hanging out with him after a party, debriefing on all the wild things their friends had done. They had always been comfortable being quiet with one another, but this silence felt heavy somehow.

 

She nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed, placing the hairbrush behind her. He went and sat down behind her and picked it up. He picked up her hair, holding it tightly and pulled the brush through it gently.

 

She loved having her hair brushed. Her mother had never done it when she was a little girl, but his mother used to on the nights she slept over. She’d sit Sansa and Ella down in front of her and run the brush through their newly clean hair, remarking on how Ella’s was like spun gold.

 

When Ella had been really little one of his parents would pull her into his lap and hold her afterwards, both of them afraid she wasn’t getting enough affection at home. Sometimes he’d sit on the other side of his mom or dad and cuddle into them, his fingers trailing through her still wet hair.

 

He’d first brushed her hair only about a week into them hooking up. She’d taken a shower while he was there and had sat at her vanity, going through her skincare routine as they talked, and had gone to brush her hair but he’d gone up behind her and reached for the brush. It had been soothing, pulling it through strand by strand, and when he’d finished she’d laid her cheek on his hand, tears in her eyes and asked him to spend the night. It had only been his second night staying over but he’d pulled her up out of the seat and into his arms and carried her to bed.

 

Unlike the first night they didn’t do anything sexual, he had been there just to be there with her, and when he’d woken up he’d realised how deeply they had both slept - like children once again.

 

He picked up a smaller chunk and pulled the brush through it until it went through easily, and he followed it with his fingers. He repeated it group by group, the repetition of it lulling him as it always did.

 

He rubbed the back of her neck and found it tense, so he placed a kiss to her shoulder.

 

“El, honey, are you okay?,” he asked.

 

“I’m fine,” she said hollowly.

 

“I don’t believe you,” he admitted.

 

“Robb, please, can we just go to bed?,” she sighed, taking the brush from him and getting off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

 

She came back out, braiding her hair absentmindedly. He looked at her face and she seemed sober in a way that should have been impossible for how many shots of whiskey she’d had. The skin underneath her eyes also seemed raw, the way it always did after she’d been crying.

 

“No,” he shook his head and she glanced at him, “No, I am already dealing with Sansa not talking to me, I can’t handle it if you’re shutting me out too. Please, just tell me what’s going on so I can fix it.”

 

She sighed, rubbing her forehead, “You can’t fix _everything_ Robb, you know, I just… I’m fine, alright?”

 

“You’re obviously not fine,” he said.

 

Anger flashed in her eyes, “Why? Because I don’t want to _fuck_ you?”

 

“No!,” he said in horror, annoyed by how much that hurt him, “No of course not, how can you even ask me that?”

 

She sighed and shook her head, “I’m sorry, that was awful,” she looked at him and repeated, “I’m sorry.” He nodded at her, because he could tell that she was and that she hadn’t meant to hurt him. “You know what, I think I should just go back to my dorm, I’ll just see you guys in the morning for brunch.”

 

With that she went into his closet and pulled out a pair of snow boots that she often kept here and stepped into them.

 

“No,” he said and she looked at him, “No, I mean… if you really want to go I’ll walk you but you’re not walking back alone, it’s two in the morning.” She let out a sigh, her lower lip worried between her teeth. “ _Ella_.”

 

That did it and she let out a sob, her entire face crumbling. He was to her in two strides and he took her in his arms, utterly terrified.

 

“Stop, please just stop,” she cried, “You have to stop. I, if you… I can’t tell you and if you keep doing this I’m going to tell you everything because I hate keeping things from you but I promised I wouldn’t and please just…I can’t.”

 

“This is about Sansa,” he realised. Her body was racked with another sob and he squeezed her tighter, tears filling his own eyes. He knew it, he’d known something was wrong - really wrong. He didn’t want to ask, he wanted to respect his sister’s privacy and Ella’s friendship with her, which was the most sacred thing in her life, but he had to know, “Did someone… hurt her?”

 

She shook her head and relief flooded his chest, “No, nothing like that.”

 

“Is she alright?,” he asked stupidly. Of course she wasn’t.

 

She pushed out of his arms, “Robb.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said and then he shook his head, “What am I saying? No I’m _not_. My little sister is hurting and you’re hurting and I’m not going to apologise for being worried about that.”

 

She looked at him like she wanted to say something but she remained silent. He stared back at her, as stubborn as she. He knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of her, she’d told him months before, Sansa was her soulmate. If it came between her happiness and Sansa’s, she was always going to choose Sansa’s. As much as she may want to tell him - and he could see that it was killing her not to - she never would. It was wrong to punish her for that loyalty, Sansa had pointed that out to him before, but even still he couldn’t stop himself from staring into her eyes and willing her to break.

 

He’d do anything for either of them, apart from one thing apparently. He was incapable of letting either of them go.

 

She did break, but not in the way he wanted her to. She kicked the snow boots off of her feet and walked away from him. She walked over to the far side of the bed and pulled the covers back, crawling into bed.

 

He was satisfied at the very least that she’d be staying over so he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He splashed cold water on his face and took some advil, not wanting to wake up tomorrow with a hangover - knowing that the day would be hard enough as it was.

 

He’d drank quite a bit. Not as much as Theon, not as much as Gendry. Ella had started off drinking pretty heavily but had tapered off, and he’d only seen Sansa sip all night.

 

In fact, he’d only seen her with a drink in her hand at the start of the night. And the vodka he’d bought for her had been unopened when he went to make Gilly a drink.

 

He looked at Ella and found her curled up in his bed, staring blankly at the wall. She looked so small. So young.

 

He opened his mouth to ask, wanting to dismiss the idea out of hand, because it was impossible, but that blank stare called him off.

 

He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it in the hamper and unbuttoned his jeans and took them off as well. He turned off the light and walked over to his bed and lifted the covers.

 

“Aren’t you cold?,” Ella asked softly.

 

“A little,” he admitted, though now that he’d laid down he didn’t really want to get up again.

 

Wordlessly she came to his side. She lifted the covers and he felt her pulling the socks she’d been wearing onto his feet. She climbed on top of him then, covering her body with his. He liked sleeping with her this way, feeling the gentle weight of her, and he scooted towards the middle of the bed so she wouldn’t fall out of the bed if one of them rolled in the middle of the night.

 

He wasn’t sure how long they lay there, but after a while he felt tears dropping on his chest.

 

He thought about Sansa and Ella. What would have had to happen to shake these two dauntless girls to their core.

 

He thought about Sansa drinking tea at lunch, and a mysterious unexplained illness the week before.

 

“She’s pregnant,” he said and he felt her back tense under his hand, “Isn’t she?”


	15. Chapter 15

 

Ella woke up in bed alone.

 

Usually she was cold when Robb left her to go to the gym or to class, but she was perfectly warm now. A little too warm.

 

She kicked off the covers and looked down and realised why. Often when she woke up she was naked, one of them had reached for the other during the night, or she’d simply removed her garments throughout the night because Robb’s body temperature was more than sufficient. She was still clothed now though, and she looked down at her feet and saw that he must have pulled socks on her before he left.

 

She looked at the clock and grimaced, it was only 6:30 in the morning, they hadn’t gone to bed much more than four hours earlier. Even still, once she was up, she was up, so she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She looked out the window and squinted. It was still dark, but there was a figure in the backyard.

 

She went into the bedroom to get a better look and saw that it was Robb, hitting the punching bag that they’d hung from a tree.

 

She pulled on the snow boots she’d discarded the night before and walked down the hall and stairs as quietly as she could. She turned the light on in the kitchen and peered outside. He was hitting it again and again, and it looked like he was only wearing a long sleeved t shirt.

 

She walked into the living room to go to the back door.

 

“He’s been out there for an hour,” a soft voice said.

 

She turned around and saw Sansa sitting curled up on the couch, wrapped in the comforter she’d placed on Edd’s bed for her and Theon.

 

“You’ve been up all that time?,” she asked and Sansa nodded.

 

“I heard him leave, he um, isn’t as quiet as you are,” Sansa explained and Ella smiled.

 

Robb’s siblings called him the stampede, you could always hear what direction he was coming from in their big old house, stomping down the stairs from the third floor.

 

“He knows, doesn’t he?,” Sansa asked and Ella nodded.

 

She didn’t bother to tell her that she hadn’t told him, Sansa would know that. She hadn’t even confirmed it last night when Robb had asked, and he hadn’t asked anymore, he’d just held her tighter.

 

She’d fallen asleep fairly quickly, exhausted after her conversation with Sansa and all the tears - crying always tired her out - and Robb had still been awake when she’d drifted off, his fingers trailing up and down her back as though on autopilot. Now she wondered if he’d slept at all.

 

Sansa smiled sadly, “I’ll have to tell Theon today then. Robb’s a shit liar.”

 

She couldn’t argue. There was no way that she and Robb would be able to pull it off. Theon would know, he already knew something was going on with Sansa and if they all started acting strangely then he’d start freaking out, which wasn’t fair to him.

 

“Did you sleep at all?,” she wondered and Sansa shook her head.

 

“No, not really, I was tossing and turning so much that I finally brought myself out here so that I didn’t disturb him,” Sansa explained and then let out a shaky breath, “And I feel so terrible, lying next to him, knowing I’ve ruined his life.”

 

“You haven’t!,” she argued vehemently, crossing and sitting on the couch next to Sansa. She took her face in her hands, “Dovey, you _haven’t_. First of all, it takes two people to make a child. And second of all, no matter what you decide it will be the right thing. You aren’t ruining his life, you could never.”

 

Sansa’s face crumbled, gripping her wrists, “He’s just a boy.”

 

“You’re just a girl,” Ella reminded her. A younger than he is, she didn’t add.

 

Sansa shook her head, tears falling out of her eyes, “No, not anymore.”

 

She pressed a kiss to Sansa’s forehead and wrapped her in her arms. Her heart was tearing in two for her. There had never been a problem she hadn’t had the answer to, nothing they couldn’t fight together, but this was different.

 

This, no matter how much any of them loved her, loved them, would be something that they’d have to decide for themselves, shoulder themselves. They could support them, of course, and they would, they all would, no matter what, but this was the first thing that she couldn’t take on as her own and she felt so helpless.

 

“I got the internship,” Sansa said softly.

 

Ella didn’t bother to tell her congratulations, didn’t bother to tell her how proud of her she was.

 

“You are going to be… the _most_ wonderful mother,” she promised.

 

Because it was clear in that one sentence that Sansa had already made her decision, that no matter how Theon reacted, or her parents, or anyone, that she’d decided.

 

Sansa let out a cry and hugged her harder, and asked, “Will you be godmother?”

 

Ella couldn’t help but let out an overjoyed laugh, tears running down her face, “Of course I will be. Oh I’m going to spoil that kid _rotten_.”

 

Sansa let out a cry-laugh as well and nodded, the two of them holding one another tighter.

 

“He’s going to get hypothermia out there,” Sansa said after a while and Ella remembered that Robb was still outside.

 

She kissed Sansa’s hair and said, “I’ll put on the kettle for you.”

 

Sansa nodded and Ella stood up, wiping her eyes. She went into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water and turned it on, pulling out the chamomile tea that Robb had bought in advance of Sansa coming. She also filled the coffee pot with fresh grounds and water and turned it on.

 

She went back into the living room and found that Sansa had turned on an old movie and so she slipped out the back door and walked carefully down the back stairs.

 

Robb was still going at it, she wasn’t sure how his body hadn’t collapsed yet.

 

“Robb,” she said. He didn’t turn around, she wasn’t sure if he’d heard her so she repeated, “Robb!”

 

He turned around, his chest heaving, his eyes wild. If he were anyone else she might have been frightened of him. Objectively, he was terrifying - all strength and rage, like a vengeful warrior from some ancient myth.

 

But he had always been the hero of her story, tragic or not.

 

She stepped closer to him and he was the one that flinched away, afraid of hurting her. She approached him as she might a wounded animal, slowly, open.

 

“I think it’s time you came inside,” she said softly, taking hold of one gloved hand and removing it from his hand.

 

He winced, his hand shaking, his knuckles rubbed raw. His hand was white from cold and she raised it to her lips. She blew warm air on it, pressing her lips to the pads of his fingertips.

 

He let out a ragged, broken breath and she repeated the gesture with his other hand.

 

She moved her hands up his arm and rubbed them, hoping the friction would help.

 

“You’re going to make yourself sick,” she couldn’t help but admonish, hoping the concern in her voice would temper it.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, like a little boy being scolded by his mother.

 

“I put on some coffee,” she told him gently, “Come on, Sansa’s awake. You can talk before Theon wakes up. I’ll make you guys some breakfast.”

 

“I need to know what I’m walking into,” he said, “I know you’d never betray her, I get it but -“

 

“She’s pregnant,” she told him, because there was no use in hiding it. Sansa knew that he knew and he’d do better if he was prepared beforehand. “She’s going to keep the baby.”

 

“She’s just a kid,” he lamented, brushing the single tear that had dared to fall off of his face.

 

“No,” she shook her head, “Not anymore,” because Sansa was right. Her childhood had ended last Sunday morning when she’d watched the strip turn pink all alone in the bathroom of the pharmacy. And once again when her campus doctor confirmed it on Tuesday afternoon. “But she needs her big brother to tell her it’s going to be okay. To tell her he isn’t disappointed in her.”

 

“Of course I’m not disappointed in her,” he said as though the possibility of that was impossible to comprehend. “I’m just… I’m going to kill him.”

 

She smiled sympathetically, “You’d leave your niece or nephew without a father? No. This was no more his fault than it was hers, no more hers than his, it wasn’t anyone’s really. It’s happened now, and he’s going to need you just as much as she is.” He was silent for a moment and then a small smile appeared on his face, “What?”

 

“Nothing,” he said, ridding his face of the smile. She tugged on his hand and he shrugged, “It’s just a niece or nephew. I didn’t think about that.”

 

She stroked his cheek, “That little baby is going to grow up _loving_ their Uncle Robb.”

 

He blushed and she couldn’t help but wrap him in her arms because he really was such a mush when it came to the people he loved, he couldn’t resist them.

 

“I still might kill him a little,” he said stubbornly, burying his face in her neck.

 

She smiled, stroking her hand through his curls, “Okay, but only a little.”

 

*

 

Theon reacted better than any of them had imagined he would. She’d had faith in him, but even still, there was no saying how anyone would react to hearing that their life had irrevocably changed.

 

She and Robb had given them some privacy, citing the need to go to the library, and Sansa had sent her an _all clear!_ text message not a half hour later. They’d come back to Theon and Sansa reclined on the couch, talking quietly, and though Theon had looked terrified, he had been nothing but tender and attentive with Sansa.

 

For a moment she’d been worried about how Robb would be with Theon, but when he’d seen the way his friend’s sole focus was taking care of his sister, he’d merely clapped him on the back and said _I’m here for whatever you need._

 

They’d both offered to fly home with Sansa and Theon next weekend to tell the Starks, but they’d demurred, citing the need to do it themselves. Their first act as grownups.

 

They’d tried to have a normal rest of their day. She, Sansa and Theon had watched Robb’s rugby game, she and Sansa even made him a sign. The team had been starting to drink immediately after, but they’d all begged off and gone to the movies instead. They’d sat in the back row and eaten too much popcorn and laughed hysterically at a movie that wasn’t particularly funny. They’d gone to dinner afterwards at her and Robb’s favourite restaurant in town, a little Braavosi place. The owners were an old couple who doted on them, always sending them home with extra goodies.

 

The woman had taken one look at Sansa and _known_ and soon there had been a feast in front of them, all foods that were good for _ze baby_. She and Sansa had drank sweet, milky tea and Robb and Theon had gorged themselves and they’d walked back to campus through the Fall Festival the town had put on.

 

She and Sansa had made Robb and Theon get their faces painted and she’d bought an antique ornament that she thought Catelyn would like. They got hot chocolates and walked huddled together.

 

As they’d neared campus they’d passed people heading out. Sansa had told them all that she was happy to go but none of them were really in the mood to party. They’d gone back to Robb’s house, which was empty for once and changed into pajamas.

 

She and Sansa had beat the boys in Spades and Euchre and when Sansa had said she was tired at 10 o’clock, Theon had followed her to bed.

 

She and Robb cleaned up wordlessly and then trucked up to bed themselves. They brushed their teeth side by side and then got into bed.

 

He reached for her and pulled her towards him.

 

“Robb,” she said as gently as she was able.

 

“Don’t worry,” he sighed, “I’m not in the mood either.”

 

She stroked his cheek and then curled up to him, her arm underneath his. She breathed in his familiar scent and willed sleep to take her.

 

“My parents are going to be so mad,” he said after a while.

 

“At first, probably,” she agreed.

 

“Do you think they’ll leave school?,” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” she said honestly.

 

Sansa and Theon were better off than most young parents. Both had trust funds accessible as of their eighteenth birthday. They could buy a house, hire a nanny. They could stay in school if they wanted. But money wasn’t all it took to raise a child.

 

No one knew that better than her.

 

“My father told me a couple years back what would be expected of me if it ever happened,” he told her, “I’d drop out of school and work for him. I wonder if he’ll tell the same thing to Sansa.”

 

“Probably not,” she thought.

 

“No,” he eased onto his back, pulling her with him, “Probably not.”

 

“Why did he tell you that?,” she wondered, “Did… never mind.”

 

“I never got anyone pregnant,” he answered her unasked question, “But he knew I was seeing a few girls, knew what I was doing. I think he wanted to shake some sense into me. As though I didn’t already know how babies were made.”

 

She couldn’t help but smile at that, imagining Ned explain the birds and the bees to a seventeen year old Robb.

 

“You’re lucky,” she told him. “There’s no saying what my mother would do.”

 

“Nothing,” he said firmly. She looked up at him, “She wouldn’t do anything to you or our child.”

 

“Robb…,” she sighed.

 

“I mean it, Ella. I know we’re supposed to be thinking of Sansa and Theon right now and I am, but I can’t help but think about what we’d do if we were in their position,” he told her.

 

She pulled out of his arms and sat up, “And what would we do?”

 

He sat up as well and took her hand in his large one, “Whatever was right. For us.”

 

“And what if what was right for us was to not have the baby?,” she wondered.

 

“Well we’d have to see what -“

 

“No,” she said, snatching her hand back, “What if it wasn’t right? You say we’d do whatever was right for us but _you’ve_ already decided for me.”

 

“No!,” he argued, “No, Ella no. I just think we don’t know what we’d want to do until we were in that position.”

 

“You mean _I_ wouldn’t know what I want to do,” she corrected.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” he sighed, “I just think that… fuck I didn’t want this to turn into an argument, all I was saying is that you shouldn’t be afraid of your mother or your father or anyone, because I’d protect you.”

 

She sighed, rubbing her forehead, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to without hurting him. She’d been thinking about it too, all day, since last night when Sansa had told her.

 

She felt like a terrible person, the most selfish kind of person. She tried to push it to the back of her mind but it was still there, like a tell-tale heart.

 

The truth she’d never said out loud.

 

“I don’t want to have a child,” she said, because he’d always been the boy she could bring her secrets to.

 

“Neither do I,” he all but guffawed, “God I’m not ready to be a father, Ella, I’m just saying that -“

 

“No,” she shook her head, “I’m not talking about right now.”

 

“Ever?,” he asked.

 

“Ever,” she confirmed.

 

“But… but you have to,” he argued.

 

“I _have_ to?,” she asked incredulously, getting out of bed, “Robb this isn’t the Dark Ages, women can do anything they want.”

 

“I’m not talking about _women_ , I’m talking about _you._ You were put on this earth to be a mother,” he went on, following her out of bed. “Ella, what are you doing?”

 

She was shoving into her snow boots is what she was doing.

 

“If I stay here I’ll say something I’ll regret,” she told him, turning on the light and searching for her phone.

 

“Honey just -“

 

“Don’t _honey_ me,” she growled, grabbing her phone and shoving it into the pocket of her pajama pants. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

 

“I didn’t mean -“

 

“I don’t care, Robb,” she all but shouted, “I don’t _care_. I don’t want to hear about my divine destiny of being your brood-mare, alright? I’ll just see you tomorrow.”

 

“At least let me walk you back,” he pleaded.

 

“I can take care of myself,” she told him, daring him to contradict her.

 

He didn’t, even though she was sure it killed him.

 

She walked out of the room and down the steps. She didn’t care that the whole campus would be off to one party or another and that she was wearing flannel pajamas. All she cared about was getting away from him.

 

She went to the front hall closet and grabbed her coat just as Jon was walking in the front door.

 

“Theme party?,” he joked, looking over her outfit.

 

“When did you become a fucking comedian?,” she snapped at him.

 

“Ella what the fuck?,” he asked.

 

She shook her head, pulling on her coat. She knew he didn’t deserve it but she didn’t have it in her to apologise. She just had to get out of there before her Baratheon temper swallowed them all whole.

 

She opened the front door and trudged down the steps, but she had hardly made it two steps down the front walk before Jon caught up to her.

 

“What are you doing?,” she asked him.

 

“Walking you to your dorm,” he told her firmly.

 

She sighed and kept walking, as did he. Usually their silences were comfortable, but she was too angry for anything to be comfortable.

 

“You could’ve held out another week,” he told her.

 

“For what?,” she couldn’t help but ask.

 

“Your first fight,” he supplied, “I had next week. I owe Grenn ten bucks now.”

 

She smiled in spite of herself. Of course they had bet on it.

 

“What did he do?,” Jon asked.

 

“How do you know I didn’t do something?,” she challenged.

 

“You were the one storming out,” he pointed out.

 

“He’s just so certain of things,” she told him. And then shook her head, “But it’s not right to talk to you about it, he’s your best friend.”

 

He shrugged, “Yeah and no one knows better than I do how god damn stubborn he can be.”

 

He was right, but she didn’t want to say so. She was angry at Robb, really angry, but she didn’t want to, _couldn’t_ , say anything bad about him.

 

They walked the rest of the way in silence, and they stopped as they got to her doorway.

 

“Thanks for walking me,” she said and added, “Sorry I snapped at you.”

 

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek and went to open her door.

 

“It was you, wasn’t it?,” he asked.

 

She turned and looked at him, “Wasn’t what?”

 

“The thing he was certain of,” Jon supplied. Her silence told him everything and he smiled, shaking his head, “That’s the most annoying thing about him… He’s always right.”

 

“Not about this,” she couldn’t help but argue. “He doesn’t see me clearly, he loves me too much.”

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Jon shrugged, “But if I had to bet on which one of you didn’t see _you_ clearly, it wouldn’t be him.”

 

“Yeah well, don’t go betting Grenn,” she sighed.

 

“Goodnight, Ella.”

 

“Goodnight, Jon.”

 

She walked into her dorm, past the kids drunk in the hallway. She opened her door and took her jacket and snow boots off and locked the door and climbed into bed.

 

She pulled her cell phone out and saw that she had one voicemail.

 

She didn’t want to, but she pressed play anyway.

 

_El, it’s me. I hate that I upset you. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was… I don’t think of you as a broodmare. I just… I see it all, you know? Us, married. A house on the lake, or maybe in the Riverlands where it’s a bit warmer for you. A dog, maybe even a cat. And kids. I’m sorry, but that’s what I see. And if that has to change then it’ll change because I want you, and I want you to have whatever future you want, so if kids aren’t a part of that then I’ll get over it. You’re the only non-negotiable. You’re my future, honey, you’re all of it. And it’s gonna look however you want it to. I love you, and I’m sorry. Sleep tight._

 

She listened to it once more, turning out her light and pulling the covers over her head. It ended and she pressed play once again.

 

She didn’t even think about it, she just pressed on his name. He picked up on the first ring.

 

“El? Ella, I’m so sorry, I -“

 

“What if I’m like her?,” she interrupted.

 

“Like who? Sansa? Honey we’ll -“

 

“My mother,” she clarified. “Robb what if I’m -“

 

“You wouldn’t be,” he interrupted, “Ella, is that… that’s why… _No._ You wouldn’t be anything like her. Look at Shireen, look at Rickon. You already started knitting a hat for Sansa’s baby and we only found out about it last night. Don’t you see, El? I don’t think every woman is supposed to be a mother. Your mother is proof of that. But you? No. You’re nothing like her and you never will be. I promise.”

 

“Can you come over?,” she asked.

 

_Knock, knock._

 

“Sorry, there’s someone here,” she said, getting out of bed. She unlocked her door and there he was, in nothing but his pajamas and a pair of snow boots. He had a few snowflakes melting in his hair and his cheeks were red as though he’d been running. “What if I hadn’t called you back?”

 

He grinned, “Then I’d have banged on your door until you let me say it in person.”

 

He was so certain of everything that it was infuriating. But she always wanted to be one of the things he was certain about.

 

“Two cats,” she said and his brow furrowed. She couldn’t help but smile, “I want two cats, a grey tabby and an orange tabby, and the grey tabby will have little white feet. I’ll live in the north at the lake or in the Riverlands or on the moon as long as you’re with me,” she went on and then he was smiling too. “And I don’t know if I want babies but if I’m having anybody’s then they’re going to be yours and I’m sorry that I yelled, and I’m sorry that I left and I love you.”

 

“Anything else?,” he teased.

 

“And _get in here_ ,” she ordered, grabbing him by his shirt, “So that we can see what make-up sex feels like.”

 

He hurried inside and kicked the door shut, “God I fucking love you.”

 

She wasn’t ready to be a mother, maybe she never would be. But she knew then that he was right, she’d never be like her mother.

 

Not while Robb Stark loved her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I'm back... 
> 
> it was really hard getting back into this one, so apologies if it is a bit clunky.

After the initial shock his parents got on board with the news of the newest addition, and as the lake froze, relations between them and their eldest daughter and her soon to be husband thawed.

 

Theon had offered Sansa his mother’s engagement ring under the mistletoe at the Lannister’s annual Christmas Eve party, giving the event’s long imprisoned attendees the impression that for once there was something worthy of celebration within the cold foreboding walls. She was resplendent in a dress of silver tinsel and his smile shown brighter than any ornament on the tree.

 

New Years was a tamer affair than it had been the year prior, a weekend in the mountains rung in just the four of them, all of them opting for cocoa rather than champagne.

 

Before he knew it, he and Ella were back at school for their second semester, their lives once again revolving around class schedules and tests. With the rugby season over, he had more time to spend with her, and they spent long hours in the library side by side, typing away, their arms brushing up against one another’s every so often. Occasionally disappearing into the stacks to make out.

 

Their entire campus had been under a thick layer of snow since November, and Ella had adopted cross-country skiing as her main source of transportation in the new year. Though she was not the only person to do so, people soon started calling her _Swish,_ admiring the way she zoomed by them on her way to class in her burgundy red coat, her golden hair spilling out underneath a cream-colored hat - complete with a pom-pom on top.

 

February had brought with it lots of pressure. His first Valentine’s Day as her boyfriend.

 

She’d told him not to make a big deal of it, that it didn’t matter to her, but he still remembered his senior year of high school when she had worn wings and shot people with felt arrows pretending to be cupid. She may not be the type of girl to be angry that her boyfriend hadn’t done something for her on Valentine’s Day, but she was the type of girl to be over the moon that he had.

 

So he’d woken her up on the snowy Saturday and drove her to a friend’s cabin in the mountains. They had skied and drank wine at the sunny afternoon cafe at the top of the mountain and then he’d had a chef come to the cabin and make her favorite meal. He’d been nervous, even though he was pretty sure he had planned it well, and when he and Ella had been curled up in front of the fire and she told him that she loved him, for the hundredth-thousandth time, told him he was her home, he knew that he’d done well to ignore her protestations of not needing to celebrate.

 

She had given him a present over dinner, a beautiful, handmade card, resting on top of lacy lingerie. It had been the best gift he’d ever been given, especially when she whispered in his ear the things she’d like to do to him while she wore it.

 

With one test over with, he was on to his next, her birthday, her 19th, the first one they’d have together as a couple.

 

He was less nervous about this. He was _good_ at birthdays, and given that he had always been very happy to commemorate her joining the world, they already had a tradition, had ever since they were kids. He’d wake her up early and they’d get all bundled up and get donuts and coffee (formerly hot chocolate) and watch the sun rise.

 

Her birthday had been on a Friday last year and he’d skipped class, telling his professors that he had a _family commitment,_ which didn’t even feel so much like a lie. He hadn’t told her he was coming and he’d snuck in her house. At first he’d thought she’d be afraid, a man coming into her room in the middle of the night, but he’d bent down at the side of her bed and nudged her gently and the next moment she was in his arms.

 

 _I knew you’d come_ , she’d whispered, her warm forehead against his cold neck.

 

 _How could I stay away?_ , he’d whispered, breathing her in and holding her tighter.

 

In truth, he honestly questioned his intelligence. He had no idea how he’d not realized how in love with her he was, how in love with her he had always been. He’d never so much as taken another girl out for dinner for their birthday, but the idea of not taking Ella to watch the sunrise, of not seeing her smile and rosy cheeks as he handed her his awful handmade card, was unfathomable to him. He remembered that he’d explained it away then by being homesick, wanting a weekend with the kids, but he also remembered the feeling when her arms wrapped around his in the dark, the pride he’d felt when she’d confessed the faith she had in him.

 

And now she was really his, well and truly. And he didn’t have to make up excuses or convenient half-truths to disguise the way he felt about her. He could just love her, wholly and unreservedly, and he didn’t have to pretend that he didn’t. And he didn’t have to be afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same, because she did, and there was nothing he felt more confident in than that.

 

So when he’d told his housemates that they were going to have a party for her, and that _everything_ was going to go exactly according to plan, he didn’t mind that they’d made kissy noises and teased him for being whipped, because he didn’t care. And in truth, when he’d asked them _Do you want her birthday to be ruined?_ They had all shaken their heads and puffed out their chests, because they all loved her too, wholly and unreservedly, and would not allow anything to ruin her day.

 

Which was why his house was cleaner than it ever had been, and streamers hung from the ceiling, a _Happy Birthday_ sign hanging above the mantlepiece. He’d bought bottles of champagne, which were all chilling in the snow, and Sam and Gilly had made a cake yesterday.

 

And the coup-de-grace, of course, was that Sansa and Theon were flying in for the occasion.

 

He’d told Ella everything except that. Their best friends flying in was the only surprise he could be confident that she wouldn’t be upset about. She was always gracious, but did not enjoy being unprepared. But he had no concerns about her reacting _exactly_ appropriately to Sansa and Theon walking through the kitchen door, holding her birthday cake, which is how he had planned it would happen.

 

He really _was_ good at birthdays.

 

Which was why it was 5:45 AM on a Saturday and he was trudging over to Ella’s dorm room in the snow. Jon had offered him his car kindly, which he had used earlier but for this part he had his own plan.

 

He used the set of keys that Ella had sneakily made for him by campus security to let himself into her dorm, and then walked up the stairs to her room. He didn’t bother to knock, knowing she’d be in a dead sleep, and let himself in.

 

She had hung twinkly lights in her window, so it wasn’t pitch black, and he could see her snuggled in bed. Usually he had a hard time not wanting her the moment he saw her, but now he saw her as she was at 6, and 8 - the first year he’d done it - and his heart swelled with love for her. She was the single most important person in his life, and he took a moment to be thankful for her, on this, her birthday.

 

He stepped closer to the bed and knelt down, the same way he had last year. He stroked his hand through her soft hair.

 

“ _Happy Birthday to you,”_ he started and a smile overtook her face, one jade eye popping open.

 

He didn’t even get to the next part of the song and she was in his arms, her warm cheek against his cold one.

 

“You’re here,” she said in his ear.

 

He rubbed her back, “Where else would I be?”

 

Unlike last year she leaned in and kissed him in answer. It was soft, and slow, and hecould tell she was still waking up.

 

“Do I need to get dressed?,” she asked him.

 

“Just bundled,” he assured her.

 

She pressed a kiss to his nose and stood up, going to her drawer and pulling out thick socks and then stepping into her snow boots. She went into her closet and pulled out a big chunky sweater, and then wrapped a scarf around her neck. She grabbed her long parka and pulled it on, zipping it to the top, and then grabbed her hat and mittens.

 

“I’m sweating,” she told him.

 

“You’re essentially wearing a comforter,” he pointed out and she grinned, grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste out of her shower caddy and running into the hall.

 

He sat down at her desk to wait and looked down at her notebook. He grinned when he saw her neat, handwritten notes. She’d clearly been making an outline for an essay and he picked it up - fascinated as always with the way her mind worked.

 

A paper fell out of the notebook and he grabbed it, wanting to make sure he put it back in the right place.

 

_Dear Miss Baratheon,_

 

_It is my pleasure to offer you a place in the Autumn 2020 Young Scholars…_

 

He knew he shouldn’t read the letter, but it was an offer, directly from the Dean himself, for Ella to be one of five students to represent Vale University in Braavos next semester. The Young Scholars was famous in Westeros, one of the only programs of its kind. It was more than just a study abroad program, it was a ticket to a seat in Parliament if you wanted one.

 

“Ready, ready, ready,” Ella whisper-yelled as she ran back into the room.

 

He stuffed the letter back into the notebook and grinned at her. She was pulling on her hat and grabbing her mittens, and he couldn’t imagine a semester away from her.Even still, no one deserved the opportunity or would be a better representative of their school and country than she would. And he wanted her to have everything, even if he didn’t always get to share it.

 

“What?,” she asked him, a small smile on her face as she held her hand out to him.

 

He shrugged, “I just love you a little bit.”

 

She smiled, “I love you a lotta bit.”

 

He grabbed his hat off the desk and stepped forward and took her hand. They walked down the hall and stairs together and when he opened the door to the cold winter air she burrowed against him.

 

“Where are we going?,” she asked him.

 

“When have I _ever_ answered that question?,” he asked her in return.

 

She grinned and leaned her head on his shoulder, fluttering her eyelashes at him, “Well I have different ways of convincing you now.”

 

“It’s not too far,” he assured her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

 

She stuck her hand into the pocket of his coat and leaned her body against his. He knew without looking that she had her eyes closed. It was something she liked to do with him when they were walking home from parties. He’d called himself her seeing-eye-dog once and she’d grinned _my seeing-eye-wolf maybe_.

 

He walked them through the quad, until he got to the bench where he had left the basket and blanket. If it had been three hours earlier he would have been afraid that some drunken sophomore would steal it, but no one was around at this hour.

 

He sat her down on the bench and she opened her eyes as he reached in the picnic basket and pulled out the thermos of hot coffee.

 

“A mug for the lady?,” he asked her.

 

She grinned and nodded, holding her hands out for it. He placed it in them and poured her a cup and then poured one for himself settling down next to her and pulling the blanket over their legs.

 

She was looking around as she sipped her coffee, looking back and forth and then she turned to look at him, a bewildered smile on her face.

 

“Robb…,” she all but whispered.

 

He rested his arm on the bench behind her and his other hand on her leg.

 

“This bench is where my father sat with my mother while she waited for the bus to take her back to her university. Every other Sunday for two years, while she was in one school and he was in the other. It’s where he caught the bus every other Friday to go and see her.” He remembered hearing the story as a kid, and not understanding how anyone would ever want to be on a bus for six hours each way to see someone. But now he did, and he knew he’d happily ride that bus if it meant he got to see Ella even for an hour. “And in their Senior years, its where he proposed to her.”

 

“In the snow,” she smiled, “He dropped the ring his fingers were shaking so much.”

 

“From the nerves,” he nodded, “Not the cold.”

 

She looked at him and even in the dark he could see that her eyes were shining, “Robb…”

 

“Don’t worry,” he assured her, “I’m not proposing.”

 

She grinned, “One wedding this year is enough.”

 

“But three years from now,” he told her, “I’m going to bring you right here. And I’m going to get down on one knee, and I’m going to offer you my grandmother’s wedding ring. So start thinking about your answer.”

 

He wasn’t bluffing, he’d already asked his father for it at Christmas time. He’d promised not to give it to her until they were both ready, and he’d promised to never give it to anyone else.

 

“Why are you telling me this now?,” she wondered.

 

He stroked her cheek, “Because you hate surprises, and I want you to be prepared.”

 

She leaned her forehead against his, anchoring him in that way of hers. It was the strangest feeling, the shift in gravity he’d experienced.

 

She took a deep breath and told him, “In all the history of girls loving boys, none of them ever loved anyone quite as much as I love you, Robb Stark.”

 

There was nothing much to say to that, so he teased, “And I haven’t even given you your donut yet.”

 

She grinned and pressed a quick kiss to his lips and turned towards the basket. She pulled out the cider donuts she loved and handed one to him, and they cheersed their mugs and then their donuts.

 

Something peaked through the clouds and he told her, “Show’s starting.”

 

She turned eastward and leaned her head on his shoulder. They settled back against the bench and watched the sun rise, finishing off the donuts and the coffee.

 

When the sun had settled in the sky he took her back to her dorm room and gave her a special birthday kiss, and when she fell asleep in his arms, he found him wishing they were just a little older, because he for one, felt ready.

 

*

 

Everything was going exactly according to plan.

 

The party had started an hour earlier, and Ella looked beautiful and happy in her leather leggings ( _Really? You’re wearing those?_ Yeah, you asked me to wear them more… _But it’s not my birthday…_ Of course its not. On your birthday I won’t be wearing anything…) and silver tank top, her hair piled on top of her head and a perpetual grin on her face.

 

Everyone had shown up somewhat early, no one had predrank, they’d just brought extra booze like an offering to the gods.

 

In some ways it was just a normal house-party, but in others it was different. There was a keg, but most people were drinking champagne. People were drinking but not to excess, most sitting or standing in small groups talking and laughing. The music was good and upbeat but not blaring, and had been paused three times already to sing Happy Birthday to Ella.

 

His phone buzzed and he couldn’t help but grin when he saw that it was Sansa.

 

 _We’re here_.

 

He gave Jon the signal, who nodded in return before making his way to Ella. His job was to stop her from coming in the kitchen. Robb made his way for it and stepped inside just as Sansa and Theon were walking in the door.

 

“Robby!,” Sansa squealed and he was to her in two strides.

 

He didn’t pick her up and swing her around like he used to, but he held her tight.

 

“Dovey,” he grinned, then looked down at her belly, “How’s my niece or nephew doing?”

 

She clutched her protruding stomach and smiled down, looking very much like a Botticelli Madonna.

 

“Healthy, and hungry,” she joked.

 

“ _Always_ ,” Theon agreed and they shook hands.

 

“We’ve got food!,” he assured her, “I can make you something.”

 

She shook her head, “No, I travelled all this way to wish my best friend a happy birthday. I’m not waiting for a grilled cheese to do it.”

 

He grabbed the cake out of the fridge and they arranged the candles. When Sansa was satisfied with the arrangement they lit them and then he grabbed the door for her.

 

“HAAAAAAAAAPPPY Birthday to _you_ ,” he, Sansa and Theon started singing as they went back into the main room.

 

Everyone joined in and the crowd parted, revealing a smiling Ella. But then she saw who was holding the cake and her face fell and she screamed.

 

She ran through the party, straight into Theon’s arms. He swung her around like he had on her tenth birthday and Robb took the cake from Sansa. Theon set Ella down and then she and Sansa were hugging and crying.

 

They blew out the candles together and the party went back to itself, leaving him with Theon and Sansa and Ella.

 

Ella had her around around Sansa, her head on her shoulder.

 

“You did this?,” she asked.

 

He shrugged, “Well…”

 

Ella let out a tear-filled laugh and Sansa cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

 

Jon came over to greet Sansa and Theon, and Gilly and Sam followed, Gendry and Pod close behind.

 

“I have something for you,” Sansa informed Ella.

 

Ella clapped her hands in glee, “The scrapbook?”

 

Sansa nodded, “The scrapbook.”

 

With that his little sister disappeared and Ella tucked herself under Theon’s arm. He was making up a range of excuses as to why _he_ didn’t have a present for her - everything from it had fallen into the river when he was saving a crying toddler to Grey Wind having eaten it - and she was laughing and making him come up with more and more, each one more outlandish than the last.

 

Sansa came back, holding a large tome and Ella encouraged everyone to come look, citing how _spectacular_ Sansa’s scrapbooks always were.

 

He went behind Ella as she opened it and they both chuckled at the first picture. It was a picture of Ella and Sansa at five years old, dressed as dinosaurs, doing their best _rawrs_ at the camera.

 

She flipped the page and looked up at him with a smile. Looking up at them from the page was a picture of the two of them sitting in the back of Theon’s truck. Ella was laughing and he was too and he knew that when they were old and gray they’d look at it and say _look how young and happy we were_.

 

Ella flipped the page and there was an image of her and Arya singing into spatulas in his kitchen at home, and another one of her with Bran and Rickon who were both hugging her in her graduation cap and gown.

 

There were pictures of her and Theon looking tan and healthy on the sailboat, and others of parties and sleepovers. Pod appeared in one and a picture of Gilly and Ella dancing in another.

 

Ella flipped the page and nearly stumbled back. He took hold of her waist and looked at what she was looking at.

 

He looked from the page to her and to Gendry and then back again.

 

It was a picture of the pair of them, looking deadpan at the camera. The lighting was off, making it appear like a vintage photograph, and they looked young and beautiful and miserable.

 

And horribly, horribly familiar.

 

“El…,” he started.

 

She shook her head, “It’s not…”

 

Sansa stepped forward, “It is…”

 

Ella looked at her in horror, “What are you talking about? How could you possibly -“

 

Sansa shrugged, “When you can’t go out and party you have a lot of time on your hands…”

 

“What’s going on?,” Gendry asked.

 

Not for the first time he felt like a complete idiot. Looking at him now, there was no missing it. The raw power of him on the rugby field, the proprietary yet platonic way he had with Ella, the look of him from his black hair and blue eyes to the width of his shoulders.

 

“What’s your Dad’s name?,” he asked him.

 

Gendry’s brow furrowed and he shook his head, “I never knew my father…”

 

Ella glanced up at him and he nodded and then looked at Gendry, “Would you like to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As full warning, there is going to be a time jump in the next chapter (to the summer). I know exactly where I'm taking this one but just have to get myself together to get there...
> 
> let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As noted this one has a time jump! I've glossed over some things that aren't going to be hugely important, because I really wanted to get to this point.

Summer was passing too quickly.

 

Myrcella had never really stopped to think about time as a concept, it had always just _been_ , but now she understood relativity.

 

The way two minutes can feel like hours, and so can two months.

 

July brought the birth along with it, and though Sansa and Theon’s new son had been christened Robb Eddard Stark, everyone just called him _Baby._ Thought it would have been more accurate to call him _Prince,_ for Winterfell became his court and all his aunts and uncles his courtiers.

 

He was rarely set down, and slept just as easily in Bran’s arms as he did in his mother’s. He was used to commotion already, and could sleep through a lively family dinner, or the fireworks the Umbers set off at night sometimes.

 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it was his oldest uncle whom his namesake adored the most.He could be squalling for hours only to have Robb walk through the door and scoop him into his arms and within moments he’d be sleeping against his sturdy chest. He knew Ella’s voice and would gurgle when she was nearby, which she often was.

 

She and Sansa spent hours underneath the willow tree on the Stark’s property. They’d spread out a large blanket and place Baby in the center of it, a few dogs milling about and they’d read and eat fruit and watch him sleep.

 

Theon had transferred to Wintertown University, where he’d be earning his degree part time and working for Ned the rest. He and Sansa had bought a little townhouse in old town and married quietly but beautifully earlier that spring. Even still, with the birth of Baby and the gorgeous summer days, everyone was staying at Winterfell.

 

Even Myrcella had for a portion of it, though her family home was just down the road. She’d wanted to go further but Robb had convinced her that it would be far enough to escape the blast.

 

On a snowy afternoon a DNA test had proven what Myrcella had known since she’d seen the picture in the scrapbook that Sansa had made her, the one in which she and Gendry looked like clones of her parents, and what Sansa had known since the moment she first met Gendry. That Gendry was her father’s son, but not her mother’s. That the comfort she’d felt with him since the very first moment wasn’t all that strange at all, because he was her big brother - even if it was only by three months.

 

It was Ned, in the end, who convinced her father to come visit the campus during the first thaw. There, in Robb’s living room, Gendry and Robert met for the first time, and the next weekend Robert and Ned came back for the first lacrosse game of the year.

 

Robert told Cersei, and though she’d always known about her husband’s affairs, it was not all together the same as seeing the proof of one of them in the flesh. Particularly not when he looked just as Robert had at his age, and had more in common with him and her daughter than either of her sons did. So in April Cersei Lannister flew south to King’s Landing, taking Joffrey and Tommen along with her.

 

When Myrcella traveled North for the summer, Gendry came along with her, and seeing his daughter through his son’s eyes endeared Robert to her in a way that he never had been before. For her part, Myrcella accepted his interest just as she’d endured his indifference, with patience and grace and only a little bit of fear.

 

But that fear was nothing compared to the fear she felt at the thought of summer ending. For autumn would take her east to Braavos, for The Young Scholars, and Robb back to the Vale, and though she was grateful to be involved with the prestigious organization she could not help but begrudge it as well.

 

She refused to be the sort of girl that missed out on potentially life changing opportunities because of a boy, but that did not mean she relished leaving him either.

 

He was convinced that it would be fine. That the time would fly by for them both. Myrcella wasn’t so sure.

 

She wondered if he’d ever studied the theory of relativity.

 

***

 

Robb hopped off of Theon’s sailboat and held his hand out for the cooler. Theon handed it to him and hopped off as well, and they walked down the dock to the edge of his family’s property.

 

“Do you know where they are?,” Robb asked.

 

“I’ll give you one guess,” Theon joked drily.

 

Robb nodded and they headed wordlessly to the large willow tree where Sansa and Myrcella could often be found, looking very much like characters from a Fitzgerald novel, wearing gauzy sundresses and bare feet, slender limbs lazing about and the breeze lifting their silky hair every so often.

 

They found them, just as expected. Sansa was lying on her stomach with her eyes closed, her dog Lady laying with her head resting on the small of her back. Ella was sitting criss-crossed holding Baby, with Grey Wind’s head in her lap.

 

“Hey El,” Theon called.

 

“Shhhhh,” Ella hissed, “I just got her down.”

 

“Please don’t call my son _her_ ,” Theon pleaded, ignoring her call for quiet.

 

“I meant Sansa, you ninny!,” Ella whisper-yelled.

 

“I’m awake,” Sansa informed them.

 

Though it was entirely possible Sansa had been awake the whole time, Ella glared at Theon as though it was very much his fault.

 

Theon went to his bride and knelt down, stroking his hand through her hair, “You should go back to the house and take a nap, Dovey. You barely slept last night.”

 

“I’m fine,” Sansa yawned.

 

Robb went and sat with his back against the large tree trunk, pulling Ella back so that she rested between his legs. She leaned back against him and he put his arms underneath hers, supporting them and Baby both.

 

“How’s he doing?,” he asked in her ear.

 

She buried her nose in his neck and told him, “Perfect, as always.”

 

Ella was a helpless fool for their godson. She had been from the start, the very first moment, and it was not an uncommon occurrence to find her sitting in the rocking chair in his nursery, the pair of them sleeping soundly.

 

“Robb, El, are you guys good with him for a bit?,” Theon asked.

 

“Yeah just leave the bottle,” he assured him and Theon pulled one out of the picnic basket and placed it next to them.

 

With that he scooped his new wife up into his arms, making her laugh like the nineteen year old she still was and carried her up to the house.

 

He and Ella sat in silence for a little bit, and then Shaggydog came up from the lake.

 

“No!,” Robb warned as he approached.

 

“Shagggyy,” Ella pleaded.

 

As though he were deaf or perhaps just mischievous, the big black dog walked right over to them and shook of the lake water, spraying it all over them.

 

Baby started crying and Ella was plucking a piece of fur off her lip and Robb didn’t want to find it funny but he kind of did.

 

“I bet Braavos will seem very calm compared to this,” he joked.

 

But Ella didn’t laugh. Not even the pity laugh that she sometimes gave him on his lamer jokes.

 

“El?,” he wondered and peered around to look at her. To his surprise her cheeks were splotchy and her lip was trembling. “Honey, what is it?”

 

She shook her head, the way she always did when she didn’t want to cry.

 

“Nothing,” she lied. He nudged her and she sighed, “I don’t want to go… well I do, but I don’t want to _leave_.”

 

He hugged her around the waist and leaned his chin on her shoulder, “I know, honey. That’s the problem with being so lucky, you’re always leaving something behind. But it’s not even six months, it’ll -“

 

“Please stop saying it will fly by,” she interrupted.

 

He opened his mouth to argue and then thought better of it. He knew that she thought he was minimizing, but he wasn’t, not really. He knew that it would be hard, and he certainly wasn’t looking forward to five months without her, but he also knew that they could make it work, that she’d be home soon, and that he’d never forgive himself if she passed up on the opportunity for him.

 

“Well,” he started, “I was going to wait to tell you, but I’m going to come visit you for Fall Break… so really it’s only like two months until we see each other.”

 

She was silent for a long time. Usually their silences weren’t awkward but this one was. It was made all the worse by not being able to see her face.

 

“Have you already booked your tickets?,” she asked in a voice so hollow that it made him miss the silence.

 

“No,” he admitted and in the way that others could not resist touching a plate they’d been warned is hot he could not refrain from asking, “Why?”

 

“I…,” she started and then sighed, “Nothing, let’s just talk about it later.”

 

“You leave in two days, Ella,” he pointed out.

 

She sat up on her knees and placed Baby into his little carrier and then stood up, walking away from them. The lake breeze whipped her sundress against her legs and the sun made her skin shine as she walked out from underneath the shade. She looked beautiful, particularly so, the way she always did when they fought.

 

It was the fear turning into adrenaline and making everything brighter - her most of all.

 

He checked to make sure Baby was secure, but with Grey Wind resting against the carrier, he wasn’t going anywhere, so he stood up. He approached her slowly and placed his hand on the small of her back. When she didn’t turn to look at him, he did it for her, turning her body towards his.

 

Tears streamed freely from her eyes and his heart felt like it was going to come out of his chest.

 

“You’re scaring me, Ella,” he admitted.

 

She wiped her cheeks, “I’ve been thinking…”

 

“Don’t,” he pleaded, a man on death row clinging to the bars of his cell. “Ella don’t do this, please.”

 

She shook her head, “Robb, please this is killing me.”

 

“Of course it is,” he agreed, taking her by the cheeks, “Because it’s wrong, do you hear me? It’s _wrong_ you are _wrong_.”

 

“It’s not forever,” she reasoned, but her voice broke halfway through.

 

“No, it’s not! It’s five months,” he reasoned, “Damn it, Ella, do not do this over five inconsequential months.”

 

She shook her head, “It’s not fair to ask you to wait.”

 

He shoved himself away from her but could not help but point at her, “Fuck you.”

 

“Ex _cuse_ me?,” she railed, “Don’t talk to me that way.”

 

“Don’t talk to _me_ that way!,” he argued. “What have I ever done to deserve _that_? All I’ve done throughout this whole thing is support you and encourage you to do this! And I haven’t even looked at another girl since we’ve been together…”

 

She nodded, “I know… I know. But this is different, we won’t be in the same place, you know I’ll be across the sea meeting new people and -“

 

His swallowed down bile, “It sounds like _you’re_ the one who wants to be free!”

 

She shook her head, “That’s not fair.”

 

“Yeah well, neither is this,” he pointed out, “You’re throwing away _everything_ for five fucking months.”

 

“No, not everything,” she shook her head, stepping forward and trying to take his hands, “We can be together when I get back, you know we can take this time apart and then when I get back -“

 

“You don’t just get to put me on pause, Ella! I’m not one of your old movies, I’m a person and we’re - Ella how can you even _think_ of doing this? It’s five months - I’ll visit, we’ll video chat… it’s…,” he shook his head.

 

He trailed off though because he saw it. He saw it in the straightness of her spine and the purse of her lips. She always looked most like her mother when her mind was made up, when she was placing all of her resolve by a decision.

 

Usually he admired her for it. He liked the way she _normally_ had the ability to entertain multiple opinions at once, but the way she stood by her decision once she’d chosen one. When she committed to something she committed absolutely. It was what made her such a good student, and ballet dancer, and girlfriend.

 

Except that she wasn’t his anymore.

 

“Why?,” he wondered.

 

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and shook her head, “I don’t want to say, it’ll sound selfish.”

 

His stomach churned. He wondered if she was bored of him. If maybe she was starting to regret not having other relationships. That maybe she was feeling like she’d missed out not having one night stands and flings and all the rest.

 

And though he thought he’d never begrudge her anything, he begrudged her this.

 

“Have you considered that maybe the reason it’ll sound selfish is because it is?,” he wondered.

 

She let out a pained sigh and said, “I’ve considered everything.”

 

He nodded, knowing it was true. He didn’t want to think too hard on it because it would only make him angrier to think about when she must have been considering the options.

 

Had it been when they were in bed together? When she sighed his name and gripped his hair? Had it been when they found a secluded spot on the beach and built a whole sandcastle city like they had when they were children? Had it been when she held their godson in her arms and he’d been thinking of what it would be like to see a child of their own resting there?

 

She’d been lying to him, that much was clear, and it hurt even more than her wanting to end things because she’d never lied to him before. Or maybe she had. He realized now that she was awfully good at it.

 

“And here we are,” he said, because he had to say something.

 

“Robb, please,” she stepped forward, “I love you.”

 

He stepped away and hated the coldness in his voice when he asked, “Do you?”

 

She flinched away from him and he couldn’t look at her. He was afraid he’d get down on his knees and beg or failing that spit in her face.

 

So he walked away from her. The girl he never thought he’d walk away from. He went and scooped up Baby in his little carrier and walked towards the house.

 

And in spite of himself once he’d deposited his nephew with his mother and he’d gone upstairs to his bedroom and looked out the window.

 

The truth was, he’d have forgiven her instantly if she looked up at him and held her hand up, the faintest waggle of her fingers that said _See you soon_ rather than goodbye. If she’d shrugged her shoulders he’d have nodded, and when he had cooled down he’d have snuck in her bedroom window with a bouquet of wildflowers and they’d talk it all out.

 

But she didn’t wave and she didn’t shrug, because she’d already walked away. So Robb didn’t forgive her, and he wasn’t sure he ever would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know we are all mad at Ella. We all *should* be mad at Ella. But I hope you stick with the story!

On her second week in Braavos, Myrcella began to learn her way around the city. She learned never to visit the docks in the afternoon, when the heat mixed with the smell of seafood, and the fruit vendor who had the best apples. She learned that for the most part if you walked with your head held high you were alright to walk alone, and even if a person or two shouted something it didn’t really mean that they were going to _do_ anything. She learned that the hardest time to get a dinner reservation for was 10:30 PM, and always to eat the house specials. She learned that you could dance until 6 AM and pick up a hot coffee with milk and the baker would ask you to try one of their loaves for free.

 

She learned that she liked being in a city where a thousand different languages were being spoken at anytime. Where _street style_ bloggers had a field day and where the old and new mixed without turning into a competition. She liked her little apartment overlooking the Narrow Sea that she shared with another student, a girl by the name of Lena whose family raised cattle in The Reach. She had eyes the color of amber and the kindest smile Myrcella had ever seen on a stranger, and by the end of the first night they weren’t strangers at all, having gotten drunk on a bottle of cheap red wine and talking about their fathers until the wee hours.

 

There were five of them, in all. Five students from Vale that had come for the Young Scholars program. She was the youngest of them, and she and Lena the only girls. There was a boy by the name of Gus, a floppy-haired senior who was currently designing a plan to reform the entire transportation system of Westeros in his spare time. There was a boy that seemed to be ageless who told them his name was Simon. He wore very tight pants and his jet-black fringe always covered his eyes and he constantly had a book in another language tucked under his arm. He didn’t seem to eat at all and defied the stereotype of drinking only espressos by seeming to subsist solely on a unnaturally green energy drinks. The fifth of them was a junior named Wrey. He always wore crisp button downs with the sleeves rolled up and would only ever speak in class to end an argument.

 

The five of them argued constantly, exactly as their professor wanted them to. In the course of the semester they would study ancient texts and modern issues, they’d read the romanticists and test hypotheses. The classes were conducted entirely in High Valyrian and for the first time in her life Myrcella felt truly challenged.

 

She found a local studio where she could train with a former Prima Ballerina. She had beautiful white hair that must reach all the way down her back when it was down but was always fastened in an elegant knot. She hadn’t smiled once in any of their three training sessions and was not liberal with compliments. Myrcella knew that she was out of practice, she hadn’t devoted much time to her ballet over the past year and it felt good to have an ache in her bones and to feel a difference in her posture as she walked through the hilly streets.

 

When she wasn’t in class or ballet she walked. She had resolved to learn every inch of the city, so that when she returned at fifty, or seventy, she’d remember seeing the archway for the first time, and the little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that had been there for half a millenia. When her feet were blistered and her muscles tight she found a spa that specialize in different pools, and she boiled slowly in one only to freeze in another.

 

In the middle of her second week the day reached a record high, and the long golden hair that had always been inextricably linked with her identity felt heavy and matted upon her back. So she booked an appointment and had the stylist chop it off so that it curled just underneath her chin and left the back of her neck vulnerable to the breeze.

 

In her slim cropped trousers and her button down shirts the locals described her as _gamine_ and they liked her because she tipped well and never failed to find a quip. They had seen many young Westerosi women come to their city, watched as they gave into the _alternative lifestyle,_ how provincial they seemed amongst the stubbornly international. They had seen them come and go, tourism was up and gentrification in full force, and so they had developed a natural disdain for these foreign beauties. But the golden haired girl was different, she was one of them. They knew, even if she didn’t, that she wasn’t exploring, but rather escaping.

 

They saw the way a smile disappeared as quickly as it had taken up residence, and how she kept her sunglasses on until the lights dimmed and her red rimmed eyes would not be so pronounced. They noticed the way she’d drift away at a crowded table and how she was always the first to get up to dance.

 

Her classmates and she formed a unit, an unlikely one to be sure, but a unit nonetheless. They’d all go their separate ways after class and then one would go to a bar and one by one they’d all file in. Myrcella would return one of Simon’s books to him as Wrey bought them all a round. Lena would cozy up next to Gus only to ignore him when he finally had the courage to speak to her, and Simon would wonder if anyone had noticed the little constellation of freckles on Myrcella’s left shoulder blade, and hate himself for falling for such an obvious beauty.

 

He told himself though that he hadn’t fallen for her wide green eyes or bow lips but for the pain he saw within her. She was _more complicated_ than she seemed, he’d tell himself as he imagined how soft her newly shorn hair must be.

 

Wrey didn’t fall for her pain. He saw it, it was impossible not to if you looked at her for longer than a moment and he’d looked much longer than that. He had no problem falling for the cliche things about her - the charm in her laugh and the way her legs looked when she crossed them in class. He knew that she was bright, frightfully so, and when he took her side in an argument it was only a little to help him get into her pants. And when she smiled at him over her wine glass he couldn’t help but feel as though he was getting closer and closer to his goal by the minute.

 

He knew that her heart was elsewhere, but at the moment he wasn’t terribly interested in her heart.

 

But at the end of every night, Myrcella would be the first to stand up. She’d throw some paper money on the table - always too much for her share - and tell them she’d see them in class.

 

She’d leave and walk through the city, down by the docks that had been hosed off and up, counting the bakers who were preparing for the day. She’d open each lock on her front door, _one, two, three_ and she’d turn them all once again.

 

She’d pour herself a large glass of water and undress unceremoniously, letting her clothes fall to the floor without concern. She’d sit at her window seat and predict the number of minutes it would take the sun to rise and she’d grab her notebook and a pen and write out the date and the same phrase each night.

 

_Dear Robb,_

 

And she’d stare at it until the sun had fully risen and it was time for her to rise as well. She’d close the notebook and leave it for the next night, when she’d start a new page, dated in the upper right hand corner.

 

She didn’t expect to get further than her opener, because there was nothing much to say. Or rather, there was far too much to say and she couldn’t find the right words. They had to be perfect, because she’d only ever get one shot. They had to be worthy of him, even though she wasn’t.

 

So every morning she closed the notebook and resolved that she’d try again that evening, and day by day the right words seemed farther away. She knew where they were, along with her heart, but every night she opened the notebook and tried once again.

 

***

 

In the third week of school Robb knew he had a problem. People were starting to dislike him, which he couldn’t really blame them for. He was moody, disassociated, quick to anger and slow to apologize. He hated them, everyone at school. All his friends, his professors. He hadn’t spoken to his family since he’d gotten back. He hated them all.

 

He hated them for not being her and for reminding him of her daily. Not that he needed help remembering. She was everywhere. When he closed his eyes he saw her smile and he reached across the bed for her at night. His closet still had her things in it and his wall was littered in evidence of her existence. There were pictures of her everywhere. It was like a shrine, which in a way was fitting because it felt to him like she’d died. He hadn’t heard from her since she left, though her instagram feed told him that she had made it to Braavos.

 

She’d cut her hair. He wanted to hate it but he didn’t. He had loved it long, loved to run his fingers through it, for it to surround them like a gauzy curtain until nothing else existed. He liked to press his face in it and breathe her in. Now though it showed off her elegant neck, and it would show off the constellation of freckles on her left shoulder blade. It made her look older, more mature, more worldly.

 

He wondered what else she’d done to make her so.

 

A smarter man would have blocked her, but he couldn’t find it in him to do so. He devoured her instagram stories and looked at every post. There was a girl there named Lena that looked familiar, and the two seemed to be palling around the city. There were guys featured in the stories as well, the same ones again and again. A mama’s boy and a goth and a trust fund douchebag.

 

He followed Lena’s account. He knew that he shouldn’t but he did it anyway. Lena liked to take artsy photographs of the city and her friends. Ella seemed to be something of a muse for her. There was Ella at the windowsill with a steaming mug of coffee, and one of her haggling with a fruit vendor, another with her holding armfuls of flowers with a wide smile on one of the bridges.

 

Lena’s stories were less curated than her posts, and she often posted videos of them out at night. It was through these that he’d learned that the trust fund douche and the goth were both in love with Ella, and he wondered which one of them she was fucking.

 

He wondered if she sighed their name in their ear or if their touch caused goosebumps to rise all over her perfect body. He couldn’t help but think about her body in their hands.

 

He hated them. He hated her. He hated everyone.

 

Most of all though, he hated himself. He had been so stupid, last year. He’d reprimanded himself for the way he’d been before her, a different girl all the time, no strings, no feelings. It was better that way. It had been hubris in its simplest form, to think that the gods would let him remain happy.

 

He vowed to himself, late at night, just him and a bottle of whiskey, that he’d never be that happy again. That was the key, he knew. To never feel it. Because if you never felt it you couldn’t lose it.

 

He dialed her number a thousand different times. Wrote out long, scathing text messages. But he never pressed call, and he never pressed send, because he was afraid - not of hurting her, but of not.

 

In his entire life, Robb Stark had never feared anything quite so much as Mycrella Baratheon’s indifference.

 

Before, her pain had been his biggest fear. Now though, he craved it. Not her physical pain, he’d never in a thousand lifetimes wish her any physical pain - the idea of it caused bile to rise in his stomach - but emotional pain. He hoped she was crying herself to sleep every night, and he despised her for her smiles on the bridge and her laughter in the early hours of the morning in one of Lena’s videos.

 

She was supposed to have called by now. She was supposed to realize she’d made a mistake by now. She should be fighting for him by now. Thats what everyone said would happen. Everyone.

 

His family hadn’t believed it when he’d told them he wouldn’t be driving her to the airport. When he got back to school, the first thing Jon had asked was “How’s El?,” and none of them could understand when he told them what had happened. He had known they loved her before but he had not seen the extent of their love until he told them what had happened. It was like he told them the sky was red or the earth was flat, like one of the truest things they’d ever known - Ella’s goodness, her devotion, their love - was a lie.

 

He knew that they still loved her. They were his friends, had been from the start, but he knew their loyalties were now divided. And if she called a single one of them in the middle of the night they would hop on a plane to Braavos without a second thought.

 

Deep down he couldn’t begrudge them that, though. Because he would do the same thing.

 

He didn’t forgive her, and he never would, but he knew now that he’d never stop loving her either. In a way he was nearly proud of it. Being capable of that much love, that much unconditional, _unrequited_ love, it had to be a unique talent of his.

 

All he wanted every day was to not get out of bed. To stay and wallow. In his darkest moments he wanted to contract some horrible disease so that the news would make its way to Braavos and Ella could be overwhelmed with guilt. She’d abandon trust fund guy and the goth and fly to his bedside. She’d press a warm compress to his forehead and tell him how wretched she was for leaving him.

 

But he couldn’t wait around for some incurable disease so every morning he got up. He went to class when he was supposed to and the library. He went to rugby practice and the gym. And he went out and drank. But he stayed in and drank too. Too much and too often.

 

And every night he checked his phone before he went to bed and again when he woke up. He told himself each day that this would be the day he wouldn’t check, that he wouldn’t hold out hope. But he did, every night and every morning. It wouldn’t have to be poetry, or the perfect wording. It could be something small and inconsequential. Anything. Just his name upon her lips. And every night when his stomach sank because she hadn’t called he tossed his phone to the other side of the bed and hugged a pillow to his chest, and he’d tell himself that tomorrow he would try once again not to care.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a monster and now I can't stop...

The rain poured down heavily, in the way it only seemed to in the mountains. It was fat, heavy, cold rain mixed with mist so thick it was impossible to see the other side of the field. That didn’t matter, they practiced anyway.

 

He could call the practice, he was the captain after all, but he didn’t. There was something life-affirming about being this uncomfortable and he hadn’t felt alive for weeks now. He didn’t care if the other guys were miserable. If he was being entirely honest he’d admit he even enjoyed it a little.

 

He was bleeding in at least two places and his face and hands and knees were covered in mud. All of them were. Someone was bound to at least twist an ankle, but none of them held back.

 

Robb charged forward for the ball but Gendry got to it first. He barreled into him, taking him out at the waist, and the two of them fell face first into the mud. Robb grabbed the ball and stood up, but as soon as he did he felt a pair of arms around his calves, and a firm, swift tug.

 

Even without the mud, he would have fallen to the ground. Gendry was an absolute beast, stronger than him even on his best day, and when he hit you it was like being hit by a steel door. So with the rain it was as though he had slipped on a banana peel and he fell face first into the mud.

 

His ears started ringing and a bright light blinded him. He shook his head and tried to get it to stop, but it was relentless like the blood gushing from his nostrils. He was fairly certain he’d broken his nose and he spit out some blood as he forced himself to his feet. Slowly his sight returned to him and though he felt woozy he couldn’t let it go now.

 

“What the fuck, Waters?,” he grunted, using the majority of his strength to tackle Gendry back into the mud, “Or is it Baratheon now?”

 

“F _uuck_ you, dude,” Gendry spat, throwing him off of him.

 

Gendry stood and Robb did the same and though he knew their teammates were crowding around he didn’t give them much thought.

 

Gendry held his arms wide showing off his blue pinny, “I’m on your fucking team and you just tackled me.”

 

There was nothing much Robb could say to that. He’d known Gendry was on his team and he’d done it anyway.

 

“Get over it,” he evaded, bending down and grabbing the ball so that they could continue with the scrimmage.

 

Gendry chuckled harshly and slammed his palms into Robb’s chest, “You get over it! It’s been a month, man, this is _pathetic!”_

 

Robb growled and went to charge him but Jon stepped in between them, “Woah, woah, woah… let’s all take a beat.”

 

Gendry shoved him out of the way and Robb almost smiled. _This_. This is what he had been waiting a month for. Adrenaline coursed through his veins and he could have laughed in relief.

 

Gendry seemed to feel the same way and shoved Jon away from him, “No, no I’m done taking a _beat,_ ” he said getting in Robb’s face, “I’m done tiptoeing around this prick.”

 

Now Robb did laugh and he shoved Gendry hard in the chest. Gendry recovered quickly and hooked him in the jaw. Through sheer force of will Robb kept his balance and lowered his shoulder and knocked into Gendry’s chest, tackling him once again to the ground.

 

He didn’t give him time to get up, he straddled him and brought his fist to Gendry’s cheek.

 

Guys were on him in a moment. He was surprised they’d let it go on this long. He was being dragged by both arms and his chest as Jon was helping Gendry to his feet.

 

Gendry walked forward and Jon tried to stop him but he swatted his hand away.

 

“Just fucking ask me!,” Gendry shouted at him.

 

“Did you know?,” Robb shouted back. He hated that his voice broke but now he had to know. “Did you know what she was gonna do? You lived with her, you fucking lived with her!”

 

“Yeah and she was with you every day, did you? Did you know?,” Gendry shouted back. He shook his head, “It’s fucking _Ella_ , man. She doesn’t talk this shit out… _No_ , I didn’t know, but…”

 

“But what?,” Robb challenged.

 

Gendry stared him dead in the eye, “But if she were here right now I wouldn’t let you in fifty fucking yards of her.” Gendry spit blood out of his mouth and started walking away, but he turned around and pointed at him, “And you know I’m right.”

 

With that Gendry walked away and a few guys on the team walked away with him. Robb stood there in the freezing rain and tried not to think about how on days like this he and Ella wouldn’t even get out of bed. They’d cuddle under his covers and she’d make him laugh by tracing dirty words on his stomach with her finger. The memory was warm, and suddenly he was too.

 

All of the guys had left, and it was just him standing there, until Jon came to his side.

 

“I don’t want to hear it,” he told him.

 

Jon nodded, “That’s not really your call anymore, man. He’s right, you’ve gotta find a way to move past this.”

 

Robb smirked, “Get past it? You’ve got no idea how this feels - you have-“

 

“You’re right,” Jon interrupted, “I’ve got no idea how it feels but I know you. This guy, this douchebag isn’t _you_. And I’ve got your back forever, but right now you’re making it really fucking difficult.”

 

“Yeah this must be really hard for you,” Robb spat.

 

“Fuck you,” Jon shook his head.

 

“Fuck you!,” he argued back.

 

They stood there in silence for a moment. The rain beat down on them and a small part - a tiny, inconsequential, pesky little part - of him felt bad that he was making Jon stay out there, because he knew that Jon wouldn’t leave without him. He knew he’d stand out here all day and all night by his side and wouldn’t even think of leaving him.

 

And that tiny, inconsequential part got peskier because it made him start to feel guilty. Not about the rain, Jon was tough he could handle it, but about the way he’d been acting. He’d been a dick, which was what it was, but more than that he’d been ungrateful. He’d been blind, selfish. When Ella broke up with him he’d forgotten about everyone else and everything. That he had family and friends who loved him.

 

He’d forgotten that there was love other than hers.

 

“She wouldn’t want this,” Jon said.

 

“I don’t give a shit what she wants,” Robb argued petulantly.

 

“Yeah, you do,” Jon said, “You care what she wants and what she’s doing, you care how she feels, there isn’t a single fucking thing about Ella Baratheon that you don’t care about and you’re just gonna have to live with that - and I don’t know what she’s doing or what she’s thinking, but I do know this… you don’t want her coming back and seeing this person. Because then you really will lose her. This was her fault, it’s _her fault._ She fucked up. Because guess what? Ella Baratheon isn’t perfect. She’s not an angel and she's not a saint, she's a girl who found the love of her life way too fucking early and right now her head is up her ass but sooner or later you’re gonna forgive her, you just are. You won’t be able to help it. And if you think you hate yourself right now it is _nothing_ compared to how you’ll feel if you ruin your chances with her forever.”

 

Tears had filled his eyes and he felt like a baby as they ran down his cheeks, mixed with the blood and the rain and the dirt.

 

“I don’t know how to stop caring,” he admitted.

 

“That’s not the trick,” Jon suggested, “The trick is to start caring about something else again.”

 

“I don’t know how to do that either,” Robb told him.

 

“I’ll help you,” Jon sighed, clapping him on the back. Robb nodded and they started walking forward toward the edge of the field, “But first we have to go to the infirmary, I think Gendry broke your nose.”

 

***

 

_**TWO WEEKS LATER** _

 

There were too many people in her apartment. If someone had told her earlier that day that fifty people would be here she would have asked them if they were planning to stack the bodies on top of each other. Nevertheless, over fifty people _were_ in her apartment and had been for the better part of seven hours.

 

There had been a debate between them and the other universities who’d sent delegates to the Young Scholars program, and Lena had decided that they’d all worked hard enough and should be rewarded, so she’d announced into the microphone after Vale accepted its trophy that there would be a party that evening at their address. Even the professors were there, and if Ella wasn’t mistaken she’d seen a judge or two.

 

Scholars mixed with scholars, flirting using double and triple entendres and drinking some IQ points away. Music was playing and the windows were open, bringing in the sounds and smells from the street along with the warm breeze.

 

She was wearing cream silk pants and a matching knit top with a high neck and a low back. Her lips were painting a deep cabernet and her feet were bare.

 

She drifted through the party purposefully. She had no purpose except not to be spoken to, and was having a good deal of success.

 

 

She walked into the kitchen and to her immense surprise found a black cat.

 

“Where did you come from?,” she wondered.

 

There was a boy rifling through her fridge and his head popped up and turned at the sound of her voice. It was Wrey, looking only slightly disheveled.

 

“He came in through the window,” he explained, which was odd considering she lived on the third floor. “Don’t know how he got up here, you got any milk?”

 

“Top shelf,” she told him as she went into her cupboard and grabbed out a bowl.

 

She set it down next to the cat and the cat looked at her. He had the most peculiar blue eyes and he squinted at her as though to ask _What are you looking at?_

 

Myrcella admired his gumption and let him sniff the back of her hand. When he swiped his cheek against it she pet his head. His fur was soft and he didn’t look as skinny or as dirty as the cats she often saw on the street.

 

He made her miss Ser Pounce, and she wondered if there was a girl in Braavos somewhere missing him.

 

“Do you have a girl of your own?,” she asked the cat as Wrey poured milk in the bowl for him.

 

The cat nuzzled against her palm so she scratched him behind the ears. He must not be hungry, she thought at first, but then she saw the way he looked at Wrey. Wary. Smart. She nudged the bowl closer to him and stroked his back and the cat lowered his face to it.

 

He lapped up the milk until it was all gone and she nudged Wrey so that she could get to the fridge and pulled out some leftover salmon she’d planned on putting in a salad tomorrow for lunch.

 

The cat ate that up and then rubbed himself against her.

 

“He likes you,” Wrey said uselessly, as the cat put its paws on her shoulders.

 

She picked him up and let him nuzzle into her neck. His soft purring set against her chest and it was the most comforting thing she’d felt in a long time.

 

“Everybody likes you,” Wrey said more softly.

 

She looked up at him and saw that his eyes were glazed. He was probably high, he preferred it to drinking, and it made him dopey and needy in a way that annoyed her.

 

“Have a glass of water,” she recommended.

 

“Why won’t you go on a date with me?,” he asked her.

 

“You’ve never asked me on a date,” she pointed out.

 

“Because you’d say no,” he reasoned, “And I don’t like rejection. So why won’t you?”

 

“Look, you’re a nice guy,” she started.

 

“No,” he shook his head, “Not really.”

 

“No,” she shook her head, “Not really. So really, it shouldn’t be all that surprising that I wouldn’t want to go out with you.”

 

“No other girl has ever minded,” he pointed out cockily.

 

“Then go find one of them,” she sighed, placing her wine glass down on the counter, “And stay out of my fridge.”

 

With that she took the cat and walked through the crowd into her bedroom. Nobody was in there, thankfully, and she turned on the record player Gus had fixed for her and opened her window.

 

She grabbed the small case Simon had gifted her and opened it, revealing nine neat little hand rolled cigarettes. She lit one and sat on her window sill, letting one leg dangle over the edge, and leaned back listening to the sounds of the street more than the music.

 

She really did love it here. She loved the city in a way she’d never really loved any place except Winterfell. It was hers and she was its.

 

The cat stood on the window sill and then sat looking at her. His eyes really were the most peculiar blue.

 

“No family?,” she asked and the cat purred. “Do you have a name?,” she wondered, he wasn’t wearing a collar.

 

He ran his cheek against her leg once and then hopped onto the window seat, down onto the floor and then up on her bed. He walked around in a few circles and then plopped down on the foot of the bed.

 

“Alright, you can stay,” she sighed, taking a small drag of the cigarette. “But you’re getting a bath tomorrow and you’re going to hate it.”

 

The cat didn’t look even a little afraid and she started trying to think of names for it. She picked up her cell phone and saw that it was three am. It would be eleven at Winterfell, right around Baby’s feeding so she found the number she wanted and pressed call.

 

“Hiya,” Sansa yawned.

 

“Did I wake you?,” Myrcella wondered, it had been a few days and Baby might be on a new schedule.

 

“No, not at all,” Sansa promised, “Just tired. What time is it there?”

 

“3,” Myrcella said, flicking some ash out the window, “Lena threw a party.”

 

Sansa chuckled, “Of course she did. Why aren’t you at it?”

 

Myrcella had no good answer to that so she changed the subject, “I got a cat.”

 

“Original,” Sansa teased and Myrcella smiled.

 

“He came in through the window,” she explained, “What should I call him?”

 

“I don’t know, Incubus Of the Viral Plague?,” Sansa suggested.

 

“I don’t think that’ll fit on the tag,” she pointed out.

 

“What does he look like?,” Sansa wondered. Myrcella snapped a picture and sent it to her, and smiled when Sansa squealed, “Look at the kittyyy.”

 

“He’s got blue eyes,” Myrcella told her, “Like you and Baby.”

 

“And Robb…,” Sansa goaded.

 

Myrcella scrunched her eyes and took another drag, “Sansa please, not tonight…”

 

“He’s my brother, Ella, what do you expect me to do?,” Sansa lamented.

 

“I don’t know,” Myrcella admitted. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Have you said that to him yet?,” Sansa asked. Before Myrcella could open her mouth she went on, “I’m sorry but have you? Have you even called him?”

 

“He doesn’t want to hear from me,” Myrcella said.

 

“How the hell would you know?,” Sansa snapped. Tears sprung to Myrcella’s eyes but she blinked them away. She had no right to cry, Sansa was absolutely right and she deserved far worse than she was getting. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Myrcella said honestly.

 

On the other end of the line she could hear Baby start fussing. Sansa tried to quiet him down but it only seemed to egg him on.

 

“El I’m sorry -“

 

“Go, go, go,” Myrcella urged her, “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

Sansa was silent for a moment and asked, “Are we okay?”

 

Myrcella smiled, “Always. Kiss my godson for me and text me if you think of any names. Love you, Dovey.”

 

Sansa told her she loved her too and they both hung up. Myrcella reached behind her to her desk and picked up the notebook and pen. She wrote the day’s date in the upper right hand corner and started out with the familiar _Dear Robb_.

 

 _How the hell would you know?_ rang in her ears and she tossed the notebook across the room. The cat lifted its head off the bed and looked at her in annoyance and she couldn’t help but stick out her tongue at it.

 

She closed her eyes and typed the familiar numbers and held the phone to her ear. It rang once, and then twice. She was about to hang up, he was probably out, or asleep, or -

 

“‘Lo?,” a groggy voice asked.

 

Tears sprang to her eyes at the sound of his voice. She loved the way he sounded right after he’d woken up, and her body felt warm and tingly.

 

“It’s me,” she all but whispered.

 

“El?,” he asked and she could all but hear him sit up, “Are you alright?”

 

Her voice broke and she couldn’t help but sob, “No.”

 

“What is it? What happened? Are you hurt?,” he asked in quick succession.

 

“No,” she told him quickly, “No…I’m just…not okay.”

 

“Ella,” he sighed.

 

“I miss you,” she confessed. There was silence on the other end of the phone and tears ran down her cheeks, “Say something.”

 

“What do you want me to say?,” he asked her.

 

He didn’t ask her cruelly or sarcastically, he asked her helplessly.

 

“That you miss me too?,” she suggested pathetically.

 

He was silent for a moment and then he said, “You know that I do.”

 

“Can you forgive me?,” she wondered.

 

“Yeah, yeah El,” he said quickly, too quickly, “I forgive you.”

 

“You’re lying,” she accused.

 

“Yeah,” he admitted.

 

They were silent for a little while and she considered telling him about the cat. That was the kind of story she’d call him about right away if they were dating. He loved how much she loved animals and how much they seemed to love her.

 

Now though, he wouldn’t care. She didn’t get to tell her stories to him anymore, but it’s all she wanted.

 

“Tell me what to do,” she pleaded, “Tell me how I can make this better. I knew it was a mistake the minute I got here Robb and I miss you, I miss you every second of every day and I love you. Please just -“

 

“I met someone,” he interrupted and her blood ran cold. He went on, “I’m… I’m dating someone.”

 

“Oh!,” she forced lightness into her tone, “I think that’s great.”

 

“You’re lying,” he accused.

 

“Yeah,” she admitted, a tear rolling down her cheek.

 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he told her.

 

“You don’t have to explain,” she pointed out.

 

It was exactly what was supposed to happen, she’d had this coming.

 

“I waited for this call for over a month,” he went on anyway, because maybe he wanted to explain.

 

Maybe he wanted her to know that it was all her fault, that she could have stopped it if she’d only grown up and called him the second she’d wanted to. That if she hadn’t been such an idiot none of this would have happened.

 

She knew all that.

 

“Tell me about her,” she requested.

 

“Ella,” he sighed.

 

“Please,” she said softly.

 

Robb was silent for a moment and then he said, “She’s a nursing student.”

 

“Beautiful and good,” she guessed.

 

“That’s my type,” Robb said more sweetly than she deserved and she couldn’t stop the sob from leaving her body. “Honey…”

 

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and shook her head though he couldn’t see her do it.

 

“I’m just happy that’s all,” she lied. “What does she look like?”

 

“Ella,” he warned gently.

 

“Does she look like me?,” she pressed on anyway.

 

“Nobody looks like you,” he whispered vehemently.

 

Myrcella held the phone away from her and covered her mouth as another sob wracked her body. She wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there but the cat was in her lap, purring against her chest. She stroked his soft head and took a deep breath, and brought the phone closer to her ear.

 

“What’s her name?,” she asked.

 

“Talisa.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the support on this one! I'll be responding to all of the comments but the story has just been pouring out of me at this point and I haven't wanted to stop. 
> 
> I hope you're all enjoying it, and Happy Thanksgiving!

Robb left his Econ test and grabbed his gloves out of the pockets of his coat. It was snowing, had been for days as was to be expected this time of year in the mountains, and though he wasn’t particularly cold Talisa told him that his hands felt _dry_ and he should _really wear the gloves she’d bought him._ He didn’t mind them, and it was an easy way to make her happy so he’d been wearing them ever since.

 

He walked through the quad, feeling the excitement in the air. After this week of tests there would be a week long break, and then only a month until finals and the long holiday break. Couples walked hand in hand, and a snowball fight was taking place across the field.

 

“On your right!,” a voice shouted behind him and he moved to the left just in time to see a girl swishing by on cross-country skis.

 

Her hair was black and her coat was white but it still made him think of Myrcella in her red coat, her golden curls flying behind her as she sped from one class to another. He wondered what the weather was like in Braavos. Probably warm, and she’d be probably wearing one of her sundresses that seemed like it might just be see-through but never was. She’d probably have found a shady tree that she liked to read under by now, and she’d take off her shoes and rub her toes in the grass. He bet she’d met a guy and he imagined that he’d sit with his back against the bark and hold her to his chest the way he liked to. Maybe Ella read to him, the way she’d read to him, her melodic voice making the driest prose sound like poetry.

 

They hadn’t spoken since the night he’d told her about Talisa. He hadn’t expected them to, but even still things felt firmer now, more solid. They weren’t broken up anymore, they just weren’t together. He still checked her instagram more often than he should. She’d gotten a cat that she referred to as No One in her captions. Like all things with a heartbeat, the cat seemed to adore her, and she posted pictures of him sleeping on her computer while she was trying to work on a paper and videos of him chasing her around the room. The trust fund douchebag had fallen out of her posts but the goth still seemed to be hanging around. Lena had posted a photo of them and another guy in a club a few nights ago - it had been black and white, everyone was dancing except Ella who was leaned up against a column taking a drag from a cigarette looking bored and glamorous.

 

It was helpful, the new look. The videos she posted of the cat were harder, because they were so her. He’d turn the volume all the way up and wouldn’t even watch them, he’d just close his eyes and listen to her laughter like a fucking creep. In Lena’s photos though she was borderline unrecognizable. She was no longer the girl next door, but some unknowable, untouchable thing. A girl torn from the pages of a magazine or taken out of a film noir.

 

He got to a brick house on the other side of the quad and opened the door. Warmth engulfed him immediately as did delicious smells.

 

“It’s me!,” he called.

 

“In here, darling, I’m just on the phone with Mummy!,” an elegant voice called back.

 

He took off his boots so that he didn’t track in the snow and hung his jacket up on one of the neat little hooks in the front hall. Talisa’s house, the one she shared with two girls in her program, was so different than his and the guys’. It was right on the quad in the oldest section of campus. It had actually been the first girls’ dormitory, and it had a fireplace in each room. The tenants through the years had been chosen by the university carefully so it had been maintained incredibly well, and Talisa and her housemates were no exception.

 

He walked through the living room back into the kitchen and found his girlfriend standing at the stove, balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear while she stirred a pot of something. She looked stunning in black yoga pants and a zip up and he went behind her and place his hands over hers on the spoon and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

 

She squealed when he pressed his nose against the warm column of her neck, “You’re frozen! Say hello to Mummy.”

 

She put the phone on speakerphone and he said, “Hello Mummy.”

 

“Robb dear, we were just talking about you,” the elegant, vaguely accented voice that belonged to Mrs. Maegyr informed him. “What are your plans for the Winter Break?”

 

Talisa glanced at him nervously and it made her eyes almost comically wide and her lips turn into the most delicious frown so he kissed it off of her.

 

“Heading North, we’ll probably go skiing for New Years,” he told her.

 

The voice on the other line asked him, “Any chance you’d stop over in Volantis first?”

 

A chill ran down Robb’s spine and he suddenly understood where Talisa’s fear came from. _Volantis?_ He and Talisa had only been dating for a couple of months. Sure, this wasn’t the first time he’d spoken to her mother, but that was because her mother usually called when they were together.

 

He had no real gauge for the timing of these things. Ella was his only previous real relationship, and there were no steps like _meeting the parents_ because they both knew each other’s already. They hadn’t had to go through the normal milestones of a relationship because so much of that had been taken care of in their youth.

 

Robb wondered if the timing of this wasn’t just a little rushed, even though he understood intrinsically that logistically it made sense. Talisa was a year older than him, a senior, and therefore would have an internship next semester which would keep her almost chained to campus. She wouldn’t get to go home for Spring Break, and her parents didn’t like to travel internationally anymore he thought she’d told him so really, this was the only chance to meet him until the summer. And they might not even be together by then.

 

Something told Robb that would not be a good observation to bring into the discussion.

 

While he was thinking this all through he had been silent, and Talisa was no longer looking at him and had taken the spoon back and was stirring purposefully.

 

“I’d love that!,” he exaggerated, and then walked it back, “But um, let me talk to my parents. Sometimes they make plans for us without checking because they just assume we’ll be there so I just want to make sure I’m not meant to be somewhere else. Is it alright if I get back to you in a few days, once midterms are over?”

 

“Dear you can show up unannounced! Be a good boy and talk to your parents and if they’d like to talk to me for any reason please just give them my cell phone -“

 

“Mummy he’s not eleven!,” Talisa admonished and Robb chuckled.

 

“ _Parents_ speak the same _language_ ,” Mrs. Maegor informed them and then added, “Perhaps you two will find out some day. Ta for now!”

 

With that she hung up and masterfully left him and Talisa in the wreckage of her hit and run.

 

He went to the fridge and grabbed himself a beer, taking a long sip of it while Talisa pretended to make herself busy at the stove. At this point their stew was going to be a puree.

 

“We can put her off,” Talisa said as he hopped up on the counter next to the stove.

 

“Mmhm,” Robb nodded, taking a sip of beer.

 

“You know she just says things sometimes,” Talisa went on.

 

“Yep,” Robb said, grabbing a carrot out of the pot and popping it into his mouth.

 

Flavors exploded in his mouth, it was spicy and sweet somehow and so delicious. His stomach growled.

 

“Though you know, they really _would_ like to meet you,” Talisa averted his gaze. He made some non-committal noise and she looked over at him. He crossed his eyes at her and her mouth popped open, “You little sneak! I was freaking out that _you_ were freaking out.”

 

He chuckled, “I know, it’s adorable.”

 

She shook her head, “Just for that I should send you to bed without dinner.”

 

He shrugged, running his finger down her neck, “As long as I can still have dessert.”

 

He glanced at her, waiting for it. She was good, stubborn, but she couldn’t hold out forever. A small smile appeared on her lips made wider when he laughed maniacally at her.

 

He hopped off the counter and tugged him towards her. She was tall, nearly as tall as he was, and her slender arms rested on his shoulders.

 

“It doesn’t have to be a thing,” she said sweetly.

 

He fixed her with a look, “If I’m flying to Volantis to meet your parents, it’s a thing.”

 

She scrunched her nose, “Okay well it doesn’t have to be a _big_ thing.”

 

He looked into her warm brown eyes as the warmth of her house and the smells of her kitchen surrounded him. He hadn’t expected to like anyone as much as he liked her. He never expected to meet anyone ever again that would interest him, but on the second night of his _Recovery Tour_ as the guys had taken to calling it, he’d seen her at a party laughing prettily with one of her housemates.

 

He’d walked right over to her and said, “Where’s your coat?”

 

And she’d fixed him with a look, “How is that your business?”

 

“Come on, I’m taking you for breakfast,” he told her.

 

She laughed, “It’s only midnight!”

 

He had scoffed and said, “There’s no _wrong_ time for breakfast.”

 

She’d narrowed her eyes at him and he’d raised his brows at her and wordlessly she’d handed her drink to her friend. She’d gotten her coat and they’d trudged into town to one of the diners. She’d ordered an egg white omelette and he’d gotten three pancakes, bacon, home fries and eggs and when she’d looked longingly at his plate he shoveled some of it onto hers.

 

They’d talked until three and in spite of everything Jon had told him to do he told her about Ella. She admitted that she’d seen them together on campus last year and told him a story of her own heartbreak - a guy a few years her senior back in Volantis who had proposed to someone else while he was meant to be waiting for her.

 

She’d waited a week and a half to sleep with him, longer than any girl other than Ella ever had, and soon he found himself smiling when she texted and waking up under her fluffy comforter more mornings than not.

 

He didn’t fool himself into thinking he was in love with her. He knew that he wasn’t, but the truth is, he was terribly, terribly fond of her, and she made him feel good, better.

 

“It can be a big thing,” he told her.

 

***

 

“Oh,” she said, putting down the piece of charcoal she’d been using.

 

Myrcella had taken up painting while she was in Braavos, but preferred the act of drawing. She liked planning it all out, and the sketchiness of an unfinished work. She wasn’t entirely sure that she had a talent of it, and was happy when she managed to get the shape of Lena’s eyes right.

 

She had been sitting at her kitchen table now drawing the blue and white porcelain bowl filled with different kinds of fruit when Sansa called. They’d been catching up for the most part, Sansa had put her on video chat so that she could say hi to Baby who was getting so big and whose cheeks she wanted to gnaw on. Sansa had told her all about the new boutique in town where she’d been hired as a buyer after the owner had admired one of her handmade dresses and about how she thought Arya might have a secret boyfriend.

 

They’d moved onto the topic of the holidays. It was their favorite topic because it meant they’d be together, but amidst the happiness Myrcella felt dread as well. She wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to leave Braavos. She’d made a life for herself here, and while it was different than any kind of life she’d ever had it was no less important to her.

 

But that wasn’t really it, not even in the slightest, because she knew that if Robb was waiting for her she’d be on the first flight out. He wasn’t waiting for her though, and here it was easier to ignore that than it would be at home.

 

Especially with Sansa’s latest bit of news.

 

“I just heard this morning,” Sansa went on.

 

“Okay,” Myrcella said.

 

No One had crawled into her lap, the way he always did when she was upset. She hugged him to her chest and he purred against her.

 

“El?,” Sansa asked.

 

“I’m here,” she told her in a small voice.

 

She heard Sansa sigh on the other end of the line and not for the first time she imagined how difficult it must be for her, to be caught in between her brother and her best friend. Myrcella never brought Robb up, always tried to ask questions about Baby and Theon and the other kids, but she knew deep down it was always in Sansa’s mind, and she suspected that she was angry with her. She never really showed it, but Myrcella would be angry at the girl who did this to Gendry - no matter who she was.

 

“They’ll be at the Holiday Party at the club,” Sansa informed her clinically, the way a doctor might inform you that you had tuberculosis. “They’ll spend a few days in Volantis first, with her family, that’s what started this all, and then they’ll come here.”

 

“Okay,” Myrcella repeated.

 

“Please say something other than okay!,” Sansa pleaded.

 

Myrcella couldn’t help but laugh, “What do you want me to say?”

 

“Say that it sucks!,” Sansa suggested.

 

Myrcella smiled, “Of course it does, but Dovey… there’s nothing to be done about it. He’s with her now and if he’s happy -“

 

“Don’t say you’re happy,” Sansa warned.

 

“I wasn’t going to,” Myrcella assured her. “But if he’s happy that’s all that matters.”

 

“That’s bullshit,” Sansa argued.

 

“What is?,” Myrcella asked.

 

“All of it! All of it, it’s all ruined and now Robb is with someone else and you’re a character in a Sylvia Plath novel and it’s all just fucking bullshit!,” Sansa lamented and then said in a softer voice, “What? No, I’m fine.”

 

“Sans, have you started to hallucinate over there?,” Myrcella wondered.

 

Sansa laughed, “No it’s just Theon, he’s been standing in the corner for the past five minutes shaking like a little girl.”

 

“Have not!,” Theon argued into the phone and she could hear him pulling back a chair.

 

“Hullo Captain,” Myrcella said.

 

“Hi there,” he said back. “For what it’s worth, I agree with Sansa.”

 

“Theon,” Myrcella sighed, “If I were anybody else you’d say I deserved this.”

 

Theon was silent for a minute and then asked stubbornly, “So?”

 

She smiled, he was a loyal beast, “So maybe I just deserve it… I broke his heart.”

 

“You broke yours too,” Sansa said.

 

“And now I get to live with that,” Myrcella agreed. “Look guys, I’m.. It’s late, I think I’m just going to go to bed. I’ll call you this weekend and we’ll make a plan for New Years Eve, alright? And I want Baby to myself for a whole day!”

 

“No arguments there,” Sansa and Theon said in unison.

 

“Love you,” she told them.

 

“Love you more,” Sansa said and she hung up the phone.

 

It was midnight and she had a paper to edit in the morning. Next week she had her finals and then she’d be on a plane back to the Wintertown International Airport.

 

If she were smart she’d get into bed and pull her silk sleeping mask over her eyes and drown out the world. Instead, she went into her room, No One trailing close behind, and went into her closet. She pulled out a silver sequin dress and tugged it over her head. She fluffed her hair and grabbed a tube of deep red lipstick and swiped it on and then spritzed herself once with her perfume. She slipped on flats - wearing heels in Braavos was a death sentence - and placed her key on a little silver chain and then fastened it around her neck. It disappeared underneath her dress and she scratched No One behind the ears and left her room without another glance in the mirror.

 

She left her apartment without her cell phone and without money. She trucked down the two flights of stairs and out the front door and walked down the hill towards the center of town. Before she got there she turned down an alley and then another and another until she found herself in front of a little hole-in-the-wall.

 

“Princess,” the doorman greeted her.

 

She gave him what passed as a smile and he opened the door revealing the dingy club behind it. They played the best music in town and it was the sort of place that a girl could go and nobody would expect her to talk. She didn’t go to the bar, she didn’t want a drink, she just walked to the middle of the dance floor.

 

There were writhing bodies everywhere. The tourists didn’t come here and the locals didn’t pay her much mind, not anymore. They’d grown used to the blonde Westerosi who could dance from dusk till dawn without stopping for so much as a drink of water.

 

She found a spot for herself and started moving to the beat. She could feel it in her chest and when she was dancing she didn’t have to think, she could just be. She could be anyone. She could be no one.

 

And honestly, that’s what living without Robb Stark’s love made her feel like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - Winterfell!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh I've been wanting to write this one for a while! I know I'm torturing you with the drama so the only thing I can do is warn you: it isn't going anywhere so quickly.

The Great Room at the Yacht Club was covered in garlands and wreaths and twinkly lights. Older siblings were sneaking younger siblings drinks from the bar, and husbands danced with women who were not their wives and nobody said a thing.

 

So it had been for the past century at least, at the annual Holiday Party. Everyone was in black tie attire and the club had hired drivers to ensure that nobody got on the road after too much to drink. That was the only thing that had changed about the event, his Uncle Benjen had once told him that drunk driving was a sport when he was his age.

 

Friends from high school and of his parents had been coming up to him since he arrived, and it was strange to see the kids in Bran’s class trying to grow facial hair and sneak booze without their parents seeing.

 

He’d gotten home yesterday, after a few days in Volantis with Talisa’s family. He had only been a little worried about the trip but as soon as he arrived those worries went out the window. Her mother was just like her, elegant and kind with a sharp wit and her father was an absolute goofball who had made him stay up until four the first night doing karaoke. Though she only had one little brother, she had a huge extended family and their family meals were filled with bursts of laughter and interesting discussions. He’d been assured that he was welcome back anytime and he found that he was eager to return.

 

Something had changed between him and Talisa while they were there. They’d been more than a fling before he went, that much was clear, but seeing her at home, the jewel of her family, had made him understand how lucky he was to have her in his life. They had spent hours laughing as they explored the city and woken up tangled in each other’s arms. They’d grown closer, or maybe just he had. Something told him she’d already been there, waiting for him to catch up.

 

He rubbed her bare back now and she turned from the conversation she’d been having with Sansa to smile at him. She looked gorgeous in her black silk gown and she straightened his plaid bowtie that matched his cummerbund.

 

“This isn’t what I expected,” she told him.

 

“No?,” he wondered, looking around, “What were you expecting?”

 

“I don’t know,” she shook her head, scrunching her nose in the way that told him she really did know and was trying to find a delicate way of saying it, “Something…grander?”

 

He chuckled, thinking about the palatial structures in Volantis. Looking around the room through her eyes it looked shabby and old-fashioned and plain.

 

“Yeah, that’s not the way we do things here… Northerners hate anything ostentatious,” he explained, thinking of how the wealthiest kids always wore hand-me-downs.

 

Talisa shook her head, “A different world. Just like Mummy said.”

 

There was something in her tone that made him think the conversation had been about more than just ballrooms, but standing with his Dad and Rickon, with Sansa next to her didn’t seem like the perfect time to ask about it. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to ask about it anyway, imagining it would take him into territory he was not prepared for.

 

At first Robb was grateful for Rickon shouting and distracting them, until he heard what he had shouted.

 

“LELLA!”

 

 _No, no, no, no_ , he thought as dread mixed with excitement in his veins.

 

“Ow!,” Talisa reproached and he realized that he’d squeezed her hip.

 

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly, and then said quietly in her ear, “Ella is here.”

 

He felt her tense and he tried to rub her side soothingly, but the truth is he was shaking. He hadn’t seen Ella since the day they’d ended things. He knew Sansa and Theon had seen her but his mom had told him that nobody else had. He hadn’t asked, but she’d warned him that Ella was always welcome in their home and that the two of them would have to find a way of dealing with one another.

 

She hadn’t said it without sympathy, but over the years Ella had become as much a daughter to her and his father as Arya and Sansa, and she would never turn away one of her children.

 

He followed Rickon’s gaze to where Ella was standing with her Uncle Jaime and Olenna Tyrell, laughing at something the older woman was saying. She turned at the sound of Rickon’s voice, a bright smile still on her face.

 

_No, no, no, no._

 

He’d been looking at pictures of her for months now but it was nothing like seeing her in the flesh. Her golden hair kissed her chin and her lips were painted a deep burgundy. She wore a figure-hugging champagne colored gown covered in sparkles and small red flowers at the crown of her head. She looked like she’d lost weight but her limbs were so golden and fine that it was impossible to tell.

 

She said something to Jaime and Olenna and, after casting a nervous glance at him so brief he hadn’t even been able to catch her eye, she focused all of her attention on Rickon as she walked over. He could feel Sansa’s eyes on him, and his father studiously not looking at him, and Talisa was still rigid at his side.

 

As she neared them Rickon bounded over to her, closing the distance between him and his first love.

 

“Little one!,” she exclaimed as he nearly knocked her over with the force of his hug. His eleven year old brother had gone through a growth spurt that semester and was now taller than her. In acknowledgement of it she asked him, “Am I still allowed to call you that?”

 

“Always Lella,” he assured her, betraying his age when he wrapped his arms around her again and leaned his head on her small shoulder.

 

He could tell she’d pulled him closer, stroking his curls and breathing him in and she laughed when he released her and offered his arm to her like a gentleman. She accepted it gracefully and he lead her over to the rest of them.

 

“Hi angel,” his Dad greeted her, sweeping her into a hug.

 

“Hi D-Ned,” Ella corrected herself and his father’s smile wavered momentarily. Robb hated her in that moment because she’d done it for Talisa’s benefit and it was just so _Ella_ to be kind to someone she had no reason to be kind to. She tempered his father’s disapproval by straightening his bowtie and saying, “Handsome as ever.”

 

He hugged her to him again and then took her by the arms and pushed her gently away, “What, they don’t have food in Braavos?”

 

She blushed and looked down at her feet, a clear sign she was thinking of an excuse just as it was proof that he was lying, and she smiled up at him, “Nothing like your lasagna anyway.”

 

He stroked her cheek, blushing himself and then she and Sansa embraced. Sansa made her spin to show off her dress and Ella asked her where Theon was, to which Sansa pointed to where Theon was whirling Arya around the dance floor.

 

The moment had come and Ella turned to him and Talisa. She focused her attention on his girlfriend, which he was grateful for - proof of just how much of a coward he truly was - and he watched with bated breath as the two beauties came face to face.

 

“Hi, I’m Ella Baratheon,” the golden one introduced herself and supplied, “You must be Talisa?”

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Talisa returned a little stiffly.

 

“And a bit awkward?,” Ella asked conspiratorially and Talisa nodded reluctantly. Ella smiled her brightest, fakest smile - the one that appeared genuine to everyone except those who knew her best - and took hold of Talisa’s hand, “It’s so nice to meet you as well, I’ve really heard so many lovely things from Sansa. She told me only a fool wouldn’t like you and I’ve always prided myself on not being a fool.”

 

Talisa relaxed and laughed lightly, “I’ve heard as much.”

 

The pair smiled at one another and then Ella turned to him. The smile stayed on her face but try as he might he couldn’t force one onto his. He wanted to strangle the life from her, he wanted to take her away from everyone and everything.

 

She was a worthy adversary though and thought of the perfect opening line, “Hoster.”

 

To which he could not help but respond, “Penelope.”

 

Talisa, now more relaxed than he wrapped her arm around his waist, “How many names do you all have for one another?”

 

His eyes caught Ella’s jadeite ones and he felt triumphant when her pupils widened, and it was to her he murmured so that she’d know exactly what she’d given up, “A lifetime of them,” and then turned to Talisa with the wide grin he’d withheld from Ella, “Give or take.”

 

He felt terrible as soon as he’d done it. He didn’t look at Ella’s face because he didn’t want to see the wreckage he’d left in his wake.

 

Rickon saved the day when he stepped up to her side and said, “Lella will you dance with me?”

 

He knew he hadn’t imagined Ella’s sigh of relief when she turned to his little brother brightly and said, “I’d be delighted.”

 

Rickon lead her out to the floor, completely unembarrassed to be the youngest person out there. He lead Ella clumsily, his growth spurt making him gangly, but Ella started to lead him and he followed her dutifully like the puppy he’d always been for her. He let out a peal of laughter when Ella surprised him by taking his hand and twirling herself, and then spun into him dramatically, her dress making her look like candlelight flickering brightly.

 

“So it’s true,” Talisa leaned in and whispered with her chin on his shoulder.

 

“What is?,” he wondered, forcing his attention back to her.

 

Talisa sighed, “She really is perfect, isn’t she?”

 

***

 

She’d always loved the holiday party. Had since long before she could remember. Her and Sansa used to have matching party dresses every year that Cat supplied for them, and even Arya wouldn’t mind dressing up for it when she and Sansa hugged her between them.

 

She’d gotten drunk for the first time at the Holiday Party. Theon had snuck in a flask and she’d stumbled upon him and Robb sneaking nips from it. They’d shooed her but she’d been stubborn and Theon had extended it to her as Robb blocked her and after three sips she’d been tipsy enough to think that a snowball fight in her couture gown was a good idea. Her mother had been furious but everyone else had thought it was pretty funny when she’d hit the commodore in the face with a snowball.

 

Last year Robb had escorted her and they’d danced for hours and hours. She’d worn a long sleeved emerald gown that made her feel like a film star from the thirties and Robb had kept _accidentally_ guiding her under the mistletoe to have an excuse to kiss her - as though he’d needed one - whispering dirtier and dirtier things in her ear as the evening went on.

 

This year she’d been dreading it and even the one of a kind gown her mother had sent her from King’s Landing as a gift hadn’t warmed her to it. She knew that she had to attend, she had to face them all sooner or later and it would be better here, where she was comfortable and she could prepare for it - how she’d look and what she’d say - than fear running into Robb and Talisa in the library after she’d been to the gym.

 

Sansa really had - begrudgingly so - told her that Talisa was lovely. She was a beauty, though she’d known that already from stalking her and Robb on instagram, and she, two years her senior, made Myrcella feel like a child standing before her. Talisa and Robb were nearly the same height and they looked terribly fine with their matching tans and toothy grins they shared only with one another as though they were in on a marvelous secret.

 

She’d been making the best of it, determined not to leave too early, absolutely refusing to cower away. She’d danced with Rickon and Bran and Theon, her Uncle Jaime, Sam and his brother Dickon, Willem Bracken. Willem had offered her a hit of a joint which she’d taken and Dickon had grabbed her ass when no one was looking, which she’d admonished him for and it was all turning out to be just fine, though in all honesty she wished that she was at Theon and Sansa’s little townhouse sitting on the couch holding Baby and watching an old movie, which is where she’d been for much of the time that she’d been home.

 

She went to the quieter ‘pub’ off the main ballroom where people had been taking breaks from dancing and she took a seat at the bar.

 

The kindly bartender placed a glass of water down in front of her and nudged the salted nuts towards her and asked her, “What’ll it be, love?”

 

“Double Gold Label, neat, please,” she requested and he nodded.

 

“I thought your drink was a martini,” a deep voice asked from behind her.

 

“A girl can change,” she shrugged and haughtily refused to turn around.

 

As she’d predicted it would the seat beside her was pulled back and a gorgeous boy in a custom tuxedo sat on it.

 

Trystane raised his brows at her and looked her up and down meaningfully, “Clearly, but I’ll admit I thought we were going to have to pry a martini from your cold dead hands.”

 

She grimaced, hoping it would pass for a smile. She’d lost her taste for martinis as soon as she’d gotten to Braavos. She hadn’t realized it but she’d grown a liking for whiskey, having tasted it so often on Robb’s lips, and some nights she’d gotten good and drunk just hoping a glass of it would finally feel like a kiss. She was something of a connoisseur by now.

 

“You look good,” Trystane told her somewhat begrudgingly.

 

The bartender slid the whiskey towards her and she took a sip, a peck nothing more.

 

“So do you,” she told him.

 

He chuckled, “You didn’t even look at me.”

 

Her eyes flicked to his and his pupils dilated, so she cocked her head to the side, “Happy?”

 

His eyes softened, “Happier than you, I’d wager.”

 

She didn’t like that look. It was too earnest, too pitying. It made her long to be amid the masses of the fruit market where no one knew who she was and what she’d lost. No, not lost, thrown away thoughtlessly, like the cliche rich girl she’d always told herself she’d never be.

 

She slid off her seat and said, “Happy holidays.”

 

With that she grabbed her whiskey and walked away, back into the main ballroom. If he were another sort of boy he might not have followed her, but as it stood he wasn’t the sort who’d let a girl he’d just upset walk away.

 

He caught up to her as she made her way to the edge of the dance floor.

 

“Ella, I didn’t -,” he started.

 

“I know you didn’t,” she assured him.

 

She wasn’t looking at him though. To a casual observer it might appear that she was just looking at the beauty of all the different couples dancing, but no one here would think that and she didn’t even mind.

 

“You’re prettier than her,” Trystane told her, following her gaze.

 

“Don’t do that,” she reproached.

 

“Why not?,” he wondered, leaning in closer, “It’s true.”

 

“Because it’s unoriginal,” she told him pointedly and looked up at him meaningfully, “And transparent,” and then she looked back over at Robb as he slow danced with Talisa, the pair of them looking into one another’s eyes, “And irrelevant.”

 

Trystane had clearly not been offended by her accusations, he’d never been one to be ashamed of hitting on her, and shrugged dismissively, “She’s just a rebound.”

 

“No,” Myrcella shook her head, watching the way Robb ran his knuckles up Talisa’s bare spine, and repeated, “No. He looks at her the way he used to look at me.”

 

She took a sip from her whiskey and then a larger one. She felt Trystane’s eyes on her but she didn’t much mind.

 

“Not quite, Ella,” he told her finally and she looked over at him and raised her brow in question. “He looks at her like he’s afraid to look away.”

 

She glanced over at Robb and saw the fierceness of his gaze, hating herself for the flutter of hope in her stomach that made her ask, “And how’d he used to look at me?”

 

Trystane sighed and said, “Like he _couldn’t_ look away.”

 

***

 

The evening had passed without further incident. He had felt Ella all evening, trying to keep his distance but all the while he knew exactly where she was at any given moment. He heard her peal of laughter as Willem tried to swing dance with her, and Dickon had nearly lost an arm when he’d tried to grab her ass, and he’d seen the way she danced with her cheek against Theon’s chest hiding from the world.

 

He’d been a tentative date to Talisa, fetching her drinks and offering to sit down so that she wouldn’t wear out her heels. They’d been making the rounds and she’d been charming everyone, as was her way.

 

His family was very diplomatic, and for every moment Sansa whispered to Ella she made sure to lip sync with Talisa. His father had asked her to dance even though he hated it and Arya had taken her to the bathroom and they’d come back giggling, both wearing the same shade of lipstick freshly applied. Even still he’d seen his parents sitting with Ella at one of the tables, she between them as they looked at photos on her phone. And Bran and Rickon had followed her around like ducklings, and Arya had disappeared for a time and come back with pink cheeks holding Ella’s hand as though there was a new secret between them.

 

Talisa was kind and beautiful but she would never be what Ella was to his family. To _their_ family.

 

And for his part, if he thought he’d been close to falling in love with Talisa in Volantis he had been wrong and it was impossible to deny with the real thing in front of his eyes.

 

His eyes drifted over to her, they’d never been able to help doing so, and he caught hers for the briefest moment and her lips popped open and then she turned on her heel and left the ballroom.

 

“I’ll be right back,” he told Talisa, but she was laughing at something Theon was saying and waved him off.

 

He crossed the ballroom and went through the doors and caught up to her as she was in the lobby.

 

“Ella,” he said.

 

As though she’d expected him she turned with a small smile, “She’s lovely.”

 

“I know,” he said, annoyed with her politeness.

 

She either didn’t know or didn’t care so she continued with it, “It’s nice to see you, you look good.”

 

“You look skinny,” he retorted.

 

Her brow furrowed and she looked cross with him. He could have smiled in relief but it disappeared too quickly.

 

She crossed towards him and he found himself wanting to back away. Even though he'd followed her out here he wasn’t prepared to be so close to her, to smell the jasmine on the skin and see the brightness in her eyes.

 

In trying to avert them he caught sight of a delicate gold chain resting across her neck. He knew without seeing it that there would be a wildflower pendant hanging from it. Dizziness overcame him, made all the worse when she stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his cheek.

 

“Happy holidays, Wolf,” she all but whispered and then turned and walked away.

 

“Ella,” he repeated.

 

She stopped, “Please let me go.”

 

 _I can’t_.

 

“I just…,” _miss you, love you, am so damn angry at you,_ “Need to know that you’re okay.”

 

She straightened her spine, her back still to him, “I’m okay.”

 

“You’re lying,” he accused.

 

“Yeah,” she admitted, the fight going out of her.

 

“Ella I just-“

 

“Robb please,” she cried and turned around, her eyes filled with tears, “I’m all out of grace, okay? Please just let me go.”

 

He had thought he wanted this, her pain, but he had been wrong. It felt like an infection in his body.

 

“But you seemed so -“

 

“So what?,” she interrupted, “What did you think I was going to do in front of your family, in front of her? Cry? You know me better than that.”

 

She was right, he did know her better than that. Everyone who knew her did. It was why Gendry had thought it was so ridiculous that she would have spoken to him about it before she’d broken up with him. She didn’t allow herself to be vulnerable often, and only with those closest to her, and only ever in private.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I do.” He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, all he knew was that he didn’t want her to walk away, not like this. Not with her heart shattered into a million pieces and his feeling like it was going to burst out of his chest. Not when there was a perfectly beautiful girl in the next room whose only crime was not being her. “Ella, I -“

 

“Got your coat, El,” a moneyed voice informed them both as Trystane stepped into view.

 

Ella’s eyes went wide and all the sympathy within him evaporated.

 

“You’re leaving with him?,” he asked her.

 

“He’s just giving me a ride home,” she told him.

 

“You don’t have to explain,” he told her curtly, even though he’d asked.

 

Ella stood there looking at him and he stood there looking at her. Trystane walked up the steps and placed her long coat over her shoulders.

 

Her eyes begged him to stop her but they were too far past that now. The Narrow Sea was no longer in between them but it may as well have been, for looking at her now with Trystane at her side she might as well have been in one of Lena’s pictures.

 

Beautiful and removed and untouchable.

 

He left them standing there and reentered the ballroom and told himself that he’d justhave to grow use to the way it seemed dimmer with her no longer in it.


	22. Chapter 22

 

It felt good to be back on campus. She’d been dreading it, wishing she were back in Braavos all through the holiday break, but now that she was here she realized how much she’d missed it. She’d always associated Vale with Robb, but it was more to her than that. It was her favorite spot in the library and a hot chocolate from the bakery in town, it was her cross-country skis and large auditoriums filled with the best and brightest.

 

She hadn’t seen very many people since she’d been back, just Gendry and Lena and Ygritte and Gilly. After her semester in Braavos she wasn’t entirely sure what it would be like to go to a university party again, to go from carafes of wine to kegs of beer. She was avoiding Robb’s housemates, too, which was harder than she’d thought. There were a lot of them, for one thing, and they were _big_ and seemingly everywhere.

 

She had a dorm room in a great old building close to most of her classes, a nice corner room that overlooked the quad. Next year she’d have a house or an apartment but with having spent the first semester away it didn’t make sense.

 

Campus was covered entirely in a blanket of snow, as it would be until April, and students with pink cheeks and mittened hands trudged from one class to another chattering happily with each other.

 

Myrcella entered the large stone building holding a latte in one hand and her bag in another. With most other classes she preferred hand-written notes, but she’d taken a course with this professor last year and he spoke a mile-a-minute and was known to expect his students to retain the obscurest of facts. The lecture hall was warm and smelled vaguely of the cleaning supplies the university staff would have used over the holidays, and she settled into a seat in the second row because the professor - as brilliant as he was - had a habit of spitting as he spoke.

 

She unzipped her parka and stuffed her hat and mittens in the pockets and then set up her laptop. She typed the name of the class and the date on a blank document and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket while she waited for more people to file in.

 

_Gendry: Horror movie marathon tonight in town, you down?_

 

Myrcella smiled and typed back: _Aww do you need me to come hold your hand?_

 

Her brother had been attentive to her since she’d arrived on campus over the weekend. In truth, he’d been attentive to her ever since finding out that she was his sister, and long before that if she were entirely honest. Other than Sansa, he was the person she kept in touch with the most while she’d been in Braavos and though he hadn’t pretended to understand her decision to break up with Robb he’d never punished her for it either.

 

The summer they’d spent together with their father had bonded them in a way she’d never been with Tommen and Joffrey. The kind of bond made from rolling your eyes through family dinners and sneaking in past curfew. He was her protector and supporter and one of her truest friends, and in return she was his confidant and cheerleader.

 

He typed back a wise-ass response and she responded with a plan and she put her cellphone back in her pocket after ensuring it was on silent.

 

People started filing in and she waved to some of the girls from her program. They all seemed to be coming in twos and threes though and none sat beside her. She missed sharing classes with Lena and Gus and Simon and even Wrey. There was no thought to seating order when it was just the five of them, and none of them ever made her feel like an intruder. She pulled her phone out of her pocket again reeand texted their group chat: _Dinner at Satchel + Vine on Thursday?_ Within moments a number of affirmative texts had appeared and she smiled as she placed her phone back in her pocket.

 

“Ella?,” an elegant voice asked.

 

She looked up and saw the most obnoxiously beautiful girl she’d ever seen, looking down at her with warm brown eyes and a timid smile.

 

“Talisa! Hi!,” she said brightly, too brightly, “Are… you in this class?”

 

Talisa nodded, “Yes it’s my elective and…,” she looked around, “Well I don’t know anyone… and I figure we could be awkward around each other or we could just… not?”

 

Those did seem to be their options, and though Myrcella would be perfectly happy to never see Talisa’s impeccable bone structure ever again, she had to admit that she was curious about her. Besides, cruelty wasn’t in her nature and she really didn’t have it in her to reject an olive branch so gently offered.

 

“Then let’s not,” Myrcella tried for a more genuine smile, “Please, sit…”

 

Talisa arranged herself quietly, each movement deliberate. She would have been a beautiful ballet dancer, Myrcella admitted, and wondered what else they might have in common.

 

Talisa turned to her with a wide smile as she opened her notebook, “I’m so excited! I love art and I’ve been wanting to take an art history course for the past three years and now’s my last chance and… I’m just excited.”

 

“You’ve chosen perfectly,” Myrcella informed her, “Professor Freer is one of the best in the entire department.”

 

“This is your major, isn’t it?,” Talisa asked and smiled, “Robb told me… I hope that isn’t weird to say…”

 

Myrcella’s stomach churned but she admitted, “It would be weirder not to. Yes, I declared in the fall and am really happy to be back in an art history lecture. It was woven into my coursework in Braavos but not in any formal way.”

 

Talisa opened her mouth to say something else but the lights dimmed and the professor walked in. He’d hardly introduced himself before he started on the first work, a 17th century still-life that Myrcella had seen in person in King’s Landing. Professor Freer didn’t believe in syllabus week, and Myrcella typed away like a madwoman trying to keep up. By the time class was over she’d taken ten pages of notes, which she would have to spend the next hour in the library rearranging and trimming down to make sense of.

 

When class ended she placed her laptop back in her bag and pulled on her coat. Everyone else was getting up but Talisa was still sitting there.

 

“Are you alright?,” Myrcella wondered.

 

Talisa looked up and blinked at her, and then let out a laugh, “I just have never seen anything like that.”

 

Myrcella smiled and nodded, “He’s one of a kind, that’s for sure. You’ll get used to it.”

 

Talisa nodded and put her things away and grabbed her coat. It would have been rude to just walk away so they found themselves walking out together.

 

“Well, next week I’ll definitely be bringing my laptop,” Talisa informed her. “I hope you don’t think this is rude but… I kind of thought an art history class would be…”

 

“Easier?,” Myrcella guessed and Talisa blushed. Myrcella waved her off, “Well we aren’t saving lives for one thing…”

 

Talisa smiled, “No but the sheer amount of knowledge you need - from mythology to religion to trading habits of the 17th century…”

 

Myrcella chuckled, having never thought about it that way. Talisa was right though, because art, particularly the Old Masters, was made as a reflection of and a teaching method for the people of its time it was important to understand a lot about the daily lives of those people.

 

She was about to tell her that she was going to head to the library, when Talisa clapped her hands together.

 

“Did you come to surprise me?,” she asked in an all-together different voice.

 

 _No, no, no, no_.

 

She looked up just in time to see Robb look down at his feet, a clear sign of dishonesty, before saying, “Of course. I wanted to see if I could take you to lunch.” He then cleared his throat and glanced at her, “Hey Ella.”

 

“Hi!,” she said, busying herself pulling on her mittens, “You guys enjoy your lunch! I’m going to go work through this madness.”

 

Talisa laughed and Robb nodded and she moved to walk by them. A nagging in the pit of her stomach stopped her from leaving just like that though.

 

She turned around and said, “Happy birthday, by the way.” Robb turned around and she saw his jaw clench, “It’s this Saturday, right?”

 

She hated herself for pretending not to know. Hated that all she could imagine right now is his birthday last year and the way they’d spent all day in bed, longed to have him tell her that he had no need for a birthday wish with her by his side.

 

Robb nodded, “Uh yeah, thanks.”

 

Her mouth set in a grim line and she gave them a brief wave and turned away. She’d fully been intending on going to the library but now her only destination was _away_. Away from them, away from the annoying part of her that suspected he might just have been there to see her.

 

“Ella, wait!,” Talisa called and Myrcella swallowed hard before turning around, forcing a look of polite interest onto her face. Robb was determinedly _not_ looking at her but Talisa wore a bright smile, “We’re throwing him a party, his housemates and me this Saturday. Everyone will be there, you should come.”

 

“Oh,” her brow furrowed, “No, that’s kind but -“

 

“You should come,” Robb said suddenly and then threw his arm around Talisa, “ _We’d_ love to have you.”

 

She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do this. That she wouldn’t make a fuss. That she knew it was all her fault and he was allowed to be angry at her but he didn’t have to make such a show of it. She wanted to tell him that she hadn’t slept with Trystane, that she would never, that she hadn’t slept with anyone if that’s what he was afraid of. She wanted him to know that it was okay for him to be happy with someone else, that he didn’t have to fight a war within himself.

 

Instead she fixed a smile on her face that she knew he’d know was fake and assured them both, “Wouldn’t miss it.”

 

***

 

“So remind me what the thought process was here?,” Jon asked him as they stood in the corner of their living room.

 

Robb’s jaw clenched stubbornly, because in truth there really hadn’t been one. Well there had been one, but not steeped in anything logical. Just annoyance at Talisa for suggesting it and Ella for how pretty she looked, anger about her leaving with Trystane and a petulant desire to hurt her for it.

 

He knew she’d been ignoring the guys. According to Grenn she’d broken into a dead sprint when she’d seen him at the gym and all the others had different suspected _Swish_ sightings. It was ridiculous but entirely predictable behavior on her part, and he couldn’t help but want to force her directly into the wolf den. All that awaited her were puppies but she didn’t have to know that.

 

He shrugged, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

 

Jon looked at him and narrowed his eyes, “We’ve talked about this.”

 

Robb scoffed, “For fucksake it’s my birthday.”

 

“Yeah and you’re not five, you don’t get to throw a tantrum,” Jon reasoned.

 

It had been Jon he’d gone to after Ella had called him from Braavos. He’d been a mess, the pain in her voice alone had thrown him over the edge and he didn’t know what to do. Ever since that night Jon had been urging him to be kind to her, but that was easy for him to say. She hadn’t ripped the heart out of Jon’s chest and disappeared without another word.

 

Even still he’d been a fool to challenge her. Ella, sweet as she was, was a Lannister through and through. A challenge would be met in kind, which was why it was unsurprising that she had shown up in the black leather leggings he loved with an arm draped around Ygritte’s shoulders.

 

Any timidness she’d been feeling around his housemates seemed to evaporate as soon as she arrived, and had Robb expected any solidarity from them he would have been sorely disappointed.

 

Robb looked over at Jon and saw him smile as he watched Ella tell Gilly a story, her arms gesturing wildly.

 

“I can’t believe you,” Robb accused.

 

“What?,” Jon asked.

 

“You want to go talk to her, don’t you?,” Robb questioned.

 

“What? No!,” Jon lied and Robb fixed him with a look, “Well it’s just -“

 

“Unfuckingbelievable,” Robb sighed. “I can’t believe you want to talk to her.”

 

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO INVITED HER,” Jon all but shouted at him.

 

“I don’t see how _that’s_ relevant,” Robb mumbled.

 

Jon chuckled and clasped him on the shoulder before making his way through the party. He didn’t go over to Ella, he was too loyal for that, but Robb knew that if she approached him the game was over.

 

Robb went into the kitchen and grabbed himself another beer and then went back out to the party. His house was packed, and lots of well-wishers stopped him for hugs and jokes and all the rest. He tried his best to laugh and smile and say nice things, but it was hard because he could feel her.

 

He’d always had it when they were together, a sixth sense that allowed him to find her no matter what, like their goddamn heartbeats were communicating in morse code. Now it felt like a tell-tale heart, no matter where he went or what he did, no matter how loud the music was, he could hear it. _Beat, beat, beat_ , but it was less steady than that. Broken somehow.

 

A pair of slender arms wrapped around his neck from behind and Talisa pressed a kiss to his cheek, “How you doing, birthday boy?”

 

“Better now,” he told her honestly, pulling her arm so that she had to face him.

 

She looked beautiful and a bit too sophisticated for a house party and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. They were nearly the same height which made it very easy to press a kiss to her lips, which he did now.

 

She kissed him back softly and then pulled away.

 

“I have a surprise,” she told him with a bright smile. Then made some hand gesture and the music stopped and she turned to the crowded room, “Okay everyone! We are here to celebrate Robb Stark!”

 

The room erupted in cheers and he felt himself go ten shades of red. He never really minded the spotlight but he didn’t court it either.

 

Grenn came over with a hat turned upside down and handed it to Talisa.

 

“In this hat there are questions about Robb written on a piece of paper, everyone pick one out and pass the hat around and you’re going to answer it,” Talisa informed them.

 

Robb fought the urge to roll his eyes. He wasn’t ten, and everyone had been having a good time. He knew she was doing it to be sweet, so that it wasn’t just another house party but with cake, but he didn’t need her to make such a fuss. He was into _other_ people’s birthdays, not really his own.

 

Everyone followed her orders though and passed the hat around.

 

“I’ll go first,” Talisa smiled and unfolded her piece of paper, giggling, “What is Robb’s favorite book?”

 

“DIE HARD!,” Pip shouted.

 

“That’s a movie,” Talisa pointed out.

 

“I said what I said,” Pip dug in.

 

A wind chime giggle erupted and he knew without looking it was Ella. He’d been about to laugh as well but the smile died on his lips.

 

Talisa furrowed her brow at him, “Do I know this? Is it Aegon’s Travels?”

 

He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and lied, “You got it.”

 

Different people went around, the questions weren’t always facts, some of them were just _tell your favorite story about Robb_ or _tell everyone how you met Robb_. He couldn’t deny that he was feeling very loved, and some of the stories people were breaking out had him in hysterics.

 

“Woah, woah, woah,” one of the guys on his rugby team stopped a girl he couldn’t see, “You can’t leave without answering the question.”

 

Robb was about to step in to defend her, nobody should have to play the game if they didn’t want to, especially because some people here had probably come as friends of friends and didn’t know him well.

 

But then the crowd parted and he saw who the girl was. He didn’t think he imagined the hush that fell over the room, because it was Ella. Of course it was.

 

She was looking down at the piece of paper and Robb glanced at Jon who had instinctually gone to her side. Ella looked at Jon too and let out a small, pained laugh.

 

“Name your favorite thing about Robb…,” she recited from the slip of paper. She could have gotten his favorite color or food, she could have answered both. She could have answered the obscurest questions known to man and gods but she had gotten that. Her cheeks were beet red and suddenly she was the girl next door again. The girl who hadn’t made any friends at orientation except her half-brother and a stowaway named Pod, who had once told him that she didn’t want to disappoint him for not being friends with a million people, who always breathed a little easier when he was nearby. He nearly fell to the ground as she snapped back into focus. Her jadeite eyes found his and she gave him a smile, a real one, unmitigated by the tears shining in her eyes, “I think that would have to be the way he makes you feel - Robb always makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the world.”

 

People shifted uncomfortably and he could feel Talisa’s eyes on him, so he raised his beer bottle to Ella and took a sip. She took a sip of her drink as well and then Jon saved the day by reading from his slip and regaling them all with a ridiculous story about the time they’d nearly gotten arrested.

 

Other people went and the party began once again. People were dancing and drinking and he was pretty sure he’d seen one of his rugby teammates slip into the library with three girls.

 

He talked to Talisa and Sam and Gendry. They’d buried the hatched months before but there was a new hesitancy to their friendship that had never been there last year or through the summer. He’d counted Gendry as one of his closest friends but he knew that he scared the shit out of him. To Gendry he was a ticking time bomb that was going to blow up his beloved sister without a moment’s notice, but there was something else there too. An awkwardness he couldn’t place his finger on.

 

He was talking to Gilly in the foyer when a familiar figure in a red coat brushed by them.

 

Gilly’s kind brown eyes looked at him in sympathy and he said, “Ella?”

 

She turned around with her fake smile on and said, “It’s getting late, happy birthday, Robb.”

 

“Alright come on, I’ll walk you,” he said as he had a hundred thousand times before. 

 

Her lips popped open and she stood there stunned for a moment, but she came to her senses before he did and shook her head, “No you can’t leave your own party.”

 

“It’ll take two minutes, come on,” he said, grabbing his coat off the hook, “Your dad would _murder_ me if I let you walk home alone right now, and so would mine.”

 

He hadn’t meant to say it. Hadn’t even thought about it, but he knew she’d heard it. The phrasing and the absolution it provided.

 

She nodded and waved to Gilly and stepped onto his front porch. He followed her out and they walked down his steps and the front walk. It was snowing softly, but the air wasn’t too cold, and they turned down the street that would lead them to the quad.

 

“You don’t have to walk me,” Ella said when they’d made it halfway.

 

“We’re almost there,” he said.

 

“I walked alone in a far more dangerous place than this,” she pointed out.

 

“That was your decision, this is mine,” he said harshly, more harshly than he’d meant to. He knew that he had startled her but she kept walking with her head held high so he tempered it, “Just humor me, as a birthday present.”

 

“Okay,” she said softly and they continued walking.

 

This was the longest he’d been with her in months, and he had no idea that this is what silence could feel like. Their silences had always been comfortable, _comforting_ even. This wasn’t. There was too much to say, too much they weren’t saying, too much between them. They couldn’t make small talk. He didn’t want to hear about Braavos and all the fun she’d had there.

 

They got to her dorm, an old building where most of the girls who went on study abroad would stay for a semester.

 

It felt like a lesson in surrealism, to stand outside in softly falling snow with antique street lamps casting a hazy glow over everyone and everything, looking at the love of your life and not being able to touch her. Even hating her a little bit.

 

“Thank you for walking me,” she said politely.

 

He nodded, “Goodnight.”

 

He turned to walk away but she stopped him with two words, “I’m sorry.” His body felt like lead as he turned to look at her and she shrugged, “I hadn’t said that yet, had I?”

 

“No,” he allowed, “You hadn’t.”

 

She nodded, “Well I’m saying it now. Without agenda or hope or anything except… I’m sorry. You were right, it was wrong, _I_ was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

 

His jaw clenched, “Thank you.”

 

She gave him a small, sad smile, “Happy birthday, Wolf. I am _so_ ,” her voice broke as a tear fell out of her eye, “Happy you were born.”

 

With that she turned and unlocked the door to her dorm and opened it wide. He could have just let her go, if he was stronger, or smarter, or a better man.

 

Instead he said, “You were wrong.”

 

Her head whipped around and her brow furrowed, “I know, I just -“

 

“No,” he interrupted her, “Not about that. About what you said earlier, during the game…”

 

“I don’t understand,” she admitted.

 

_And that’s the problem right there, isn’t it?_

 

He nodded and admitted, “I don’t make _everyone_ feel like they’re the most important person in the world.”


	23. Chapter 23

 

If she were being entirely honest with herself, she’d admit that she had thought that would be it. That after he’d admitted to her, to himself, that she was still… that _he_ was still… that it would be all over between him and Talisa.

 

But it wasn’t.

 

Instead, he pretended like it never happened. So she did too. After a couple of weeks she wondered if he’d really said it at all or if she’d just imagined it.

 

If it were up to her, she would have spent every night in bed with No One watching old movies and crying her eyes out, but her friends were stubborn and had other plans. There seemed to always be something to do - a party with Ygritte, a movie marathon with Pod and Gendry, an art exhibition with Lena. She was out nearly every night, and all the others she spent in the library trying to make up for it.

 

She lived her life as she had in Braavos. She explored the town and the campus, went to different house parties, she found a little wine bar where she could sit for hours listening to music and no one would bother her. She went to on campus productions and practiced her ballet.

 

She lived. And maybe it wasn’t as good of a life as she’d had with Robb but it was a life all the same. And it was hers, and maybe that was enough.

 

It was easier to believe when she didn’t have to see Robb or Talisa. Avoiding Robb was easy enough, he was avoiding her too, but Talisa was trickier territory. They had their class together twice a week and it was now impossible not to sit with Talisa. Every lecture the older girl came in with a bright smile on her face, asking about her weekend and telling her about hers.

 

To her credit, she never lingered over the gory bits of her and Robb, but he was always there, in the background. She hardly ever said his name, but what’s worse it was always _We_. _We went to the rugby house. Ohh we saw the new Scorsese have you seen it?_ It was as though he was such a fixture of her world that she hardly noticed he was there at all.

 

In her darkest moments Myrcella thought that it might be a tactic. Keeping her friends close and her enemies closer. But now she realized that it wasn’t the case at all. To Talisa, it appeared, she wasn’t a threat. She almost acted big sisterly, asking about boys and if she was doing alright finding an internship. Like Myrcella was just a child Robb had once dallied with before he’d grown up and found her.

 

In truth, she’d have preferred to be considered an adversary.

 

As it was though she played her part dutifully. Smiling and feeding Talisa little bites of gossip. Sending her the notes from the one lecture she was too sick to attend, and agreeing to study for their first exam together.

 

She had been doing alright, really she had. But then Talisa crossed a line.

 

_“Oh I meant to invite you! Sansa and Arya are coming in this weekend and you should really come over,” Talisa said._

 

It was one thing for Talisa to lay claim to Robb, but the Stark girls were another story. They were _her_ sisters and she’d be damned if she’d let Talisa act as though visitation was in her _gift_.

 

Of course, that’s what she’d wanted to say, but had merely said: _Oh I know, I’m so excited! We’re doing dinner on Friday night but we’ll totally stop by the boys’ after._

 

Talisa had simply smiled and nodded as Myrcella imagined all the different ways of rearranging her perfect bone structure.

 

But now it was Friday night, and the Stark girls, her sisters were here. She had met them for dinner at a little place in town that she loved. They had all caught up, Sansa had told her all about Baby and Arya had told them about her senior year. They’d drank a bottle of wine and then another, and had walked out of the restaurant with her in between them, their arms wrapped around each other as they navigated the icy sidewalks.

 

Sansa was eager to get to Robb’s, and Arya had her own reasons for wanting to go, so she had followed dutifully along.

 

The party was well underway when they arrived, and Sansa and Arya charged their brother. A weaker man would have fallen under the weight of all that sisterly adoration, but he picked them both up and let out a loud howl that the whole party returned.

 

She’d busied herself with Jon and Ygritte, Sam and Gilly. Arya had disappeared and Myrcella had merely smiled when Sansa mentioned it, and the two had sat on one of the large chairs in the living room and had the kind of heart-to-heart that you can only have at a very loud party.

 

Sansa told her all about how hard motherhood was, and how she wasn’t sure that she was a very good wife. Myrcella wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that because she’d never been a wife, and she wasn’t sure how to tell if you were good at it or not. So she’d merely told her what she knew was true, that she loved Theon and she tried to show him, that she was a wonderful mother who was worshipped by her infant son, and that she’d be there for her no matter what.

 

She told Sansa all about how odd it was to be here, in this house, and not be able to take her up to Robb’s room. How she knew that there was still a stock of good gin in one of the top cupboards, but how she’d never drink it now. That it hurt her feelings that Talisa spoke of her so fondly but that she didn’t want her to be sorry about it.

 

They talked for a long while and then they got up to dance. They danced with Robb’s housemates and with Gilly and Ygritte. Lena showed up, Gus trailing along. Robb avoided her and she avoided him, and in order to do so she knew exactly where he was at all times. She could feel his eyes on her every so often, and she made sure to laugh a little bit more, smile a little brighter, dance a little harder so that he wouldn’t know that her heart was splitting in two.

 

She drank a little bit but not very much, and when Wrey showed up she gave him a hug and smiled as he introduced his new girlfriend Sophie.

 

When pretending she was okay got to be all too much, she went to the bathroom and opened the window and breathed in cold, greedy gusts of air. She planned to go back to the party and dance a little more. She’d make a plan with Sansa for tomorrow and blow kisses goodbye. She’d trudge home and get into bed with No One and she’d try again tomorrow.

 

At least, that’s what she would have done if she made it back to the party.

 

***

 

He didn’t want to, but he did it anyway. He followed her and waited for her and when she came out of the bathroom he tugged her by the hand into the library and slammed the door shut behind them.

 

“Robb! What the hell?,” she asked.

 

“How could you do that? Bring _him_ here?,” he asked her.

 

Her brow knit in confusion, “Bring who here?”

 

“That… that trust fund _douchebag_ ,” he repeated the identifier that had rolled around in his brain for months.

 

He’d been watching her all night. He’d seen her the moment his sisters had jumped into his arms, the bright smile on her face - her only genuine one of the night - watching the Starks reunite. He’d seen her whispering with Arya and winking at her as she slipped away. He’d seen her and Sansa create a bubble around them as they shared ancient truths. He’d seen her laugh and dance, and watched her put down half full cups as though she were afraid of drinking too much.

 

So he’d seen it when that douchebag had made his way right for her. It was like he had a sensor for her, the way he’d held his arms wide as though to say _Don’t worry, beautiful, I’m here_.

 

He’d hated him from across the Narrow Sea and he hated knowing that he was in his house as they spoke. That someone who had touched Ella was under his roof, that he existed at all.

 

Ella looked at him like he was crazy at first but then understanding dawned on her face, “Wrey? I didn’t… he came with his new _girlfriend_ who is a friend of _Talisa’s_.”

 

“Oh,” he said, because that wasn’t what he thought she’d say.

 

Now that he thought about it he did remember Talisa mentioning that her friend Sophie wanted her to meet her new boyfriend. That she wasn’t entirely sure of him and needed their opinion. In fact, he should probably be out there right now meeting him.

 

“Yeah _oh_ ,” Ella, who was his more pressing issue repeated sarcastically. “God Robb what _is_ your problem?”

 

An uncontrollable fury overtook his body, “What’s my _problem_? What kind of question is that?”

 

Ella wasn’t backing down though and she shouted at him, “The one I’m asking!”

 

He had never seen her like this, and the fact that she was so indignant in the face of it all was appalling. Who was _she_ to be angry at _him_? He wasn’t the one who had broken up with her. He wasn’t the one who had left her. He wasn’t the one who -

 

“You haven’t fought or me! You just _left_ and then you were off doing god knows what with god knows who every night in Braavos and I was just _here_ imagining it all!” Robb shouted back. Ella’s face went pale and she shook her head softly, less in denial and more as though in argument with herself. He felt winded already, short of breath but he repeated more softly, “You haven’t fought for me.”

 

“You have a girlfriend,” Ella said in defense.

 

“Of course I do!,” he agreed, “What did you _think_ was going to happen?”

 

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Ella cried, “I thought you’d flirt, you know, fool around a bit maybe… I didn’t expect you to fall in love with someone!”

 

If he had been thinking he wouldn’t have done it. But here, in this room, where they’d made love in the middle of parties and had spent hours reading while it rained outside, he wasn’t thinking at all. Not with her standing there, terribly angry and so incredibly beautiful.

 

He was to her in two strides and then her back was against the bookcase. He lowered his lips to hers and if he had given it any thought at all he would have kissed her exactly like this, but the truth was the moment their lips touched his body took over and did exactly what it had been wanting to for so many months. He kissed her roughly and possessively and she took all of it, the way she always had. No hesitancy, no fear, just absolute surrender.

 

He was still holding onto her when he seethed, “I think we both know I didn’t fall in love with someone.”

 

“Does she?”, her lips trembled as her jadeite eyes looking into his. She wasn’t looking at him with love or desire or anger, but confusion. She shook her head and a voice he’d never heard from her asked, “Who _are_ you?”

 

He released her then, pushing himself away from her. In truth he wasn’t entirely sure who he was at the moment and he definitely didn’t trust himself around her.

 

She stood there for a moment, her back still against the bookcase and waited. When it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else, she brushed past him, wrenching the door open and disappearing behind it.

 

He came to his senses a moment later and ran after her, but she was already pushing her way through the party.

 

He called after her but she wasn’t listening. Gendry was though. Robb hadn’t seen him in hours but he saw him now. Gendry’s eyes found Ella and he all but shoved people out of the way to get to her.

 

He blocked her path and she tried to push past him. He held onto her arms and asked her questions. Ella shook her head and he nodded and pushed her gently towards the foyer.

 

Robb wanted to follow her but Gendry looked up and shook his head, “What the hell are you doing, Stark?”

 

And then he followed his sister out into the cold, and Robb was unsurprised when both of his followed after.

 

*

 

He hadn’t slept at all. His sisters hadn’t come home that night and though Sansa had texted him to tell him that they were alright he wasn’t happy that they hadn’t slept in his house.

 

He knew that they were in a terrible spot, and that he had made it all murkier by his actions. Before, they were loyal to him and Ella both but sympathetic to him. Now though it was impossible to discern who the wronged party truly was.

 

It wasn’t so much that he wanted their sympathy, but he didn’t want their ire either. He wanted to be the big brother that they looked up to, not the guy who hurt their closest friend.

 

He figured that if he wasn’t going to sleep he might as well study, so he’d gone to the library for a few hours. When it became clear that that wasn’t going to work, he’d gone to the gym. Jon had met him there and they’d worked out and then sparred a bit, and when he left he felt a little better than he had when he’d gone in.

 

He was supposed to be meeting Talisa, Sansa and Arya for lunch so he went back to his house to change. Even if Sansa and Arya weren’t going to show up, Talisa would, and he wasn’t going to stand her up on top of everything else.

 

He walked into find his house still in disarray. When he’d left that morning partygoers had still been sprawled on all surfaces so it didn’t really make sense to clean up, but now he was overwhelmed by the smell of stale beer and body oder.

 

He was about to go into the kitchen to grab a trash bag when he saw Grenn standing there.

  
“Oh, hey man,” he said a bit warily because Grenn looked a little creepy.

 

“Ella dropped this off for you,” Grenn explained, handing him a small package wrapped in brown paper.

 

He took the package from Grenn carefully and looked down at it. There was an envelope on top with his name written on it in her elegant scrawl.

 

His heart started pounding but he was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing.

 

“I’m just gonna…,” he started.

 

“Yeah,” Grenn said and clapped him on the shoulder and walked away.

 

Robb walked through the living room down the hallway into the library and closed the door. He sat down on the couch and set his backpack on the floor and put the package in his lap.

 

He pulled the envelope off the package and opened it. There was a small white card inside, impressed with _Myrcella Baratheon_ on it along with a simple note.

 

_This is what I did every night in Braavos._

 

His heart thudded in his chest as he set the card down beside him. He opened the package and let the brown paper fall to the floor.

 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting, but a notebook wasn’t it.

 

Robb opened the cover and the breath left his body. At the top of the right hand corner was a date _September 1st, 2019_ and on the first line _Dear Robb_.

 

There was nothing written underneath it so he turned to the next page. _September 2nd, 2019. Dear Robb._

 

He turned to the next page and the one after that. A whole month of _Dear Robb_ and nothing else. On some pages it was clear she had started writing something and erased it, and his fingers traced over the vicious eraser marks. She had always been such a perfectionist, of course she’d want to get it, _this_ , right.

 

He made his way into October, more nearly blank pages, until he got to October 14th.

 

_Dear Robb,_

 

_I’ve been trying to write this letter for over a month now. I thought it had to be perfect. I wanted it to be perfect, for you, the way that I couldn’t be. But now it’s too late, I waited too long, you’re with someone else._

 

_Ironic, isn’t it, that the moment this becomes moot I have all the words I was looking for?_

 

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If I could take it back, change it, I would. I know that I can’t, and that’s okay. Really, it is._

 

_I hope Talisa makes you happy. I hope she makes you laugh. I hope she loves the way you bite your lip when you read and how cuddling with you is like hugging a furnace. I hope she feels safer when she catches your eye at a party, and I hope she feels proud when you lead the team on the rugby field. I hope she feels special when you tuck her hair behind her ear, and lucky when you take hold of her hand in front of everyone. I hope she brings you the chocolate chip cookies from the cafeteria that you love and makes you wear your glasses when you’ve been studying for too long._

 

_I hope she drives you a little crazy and I hope that just the sight of her makes you calm. I hope your parents love her, and that in time, you will too._

 

_Because being loved by you is the most spectacular thing, and I’m sure she’ll be smarter than I was and not let it go so easily._

 

_But if you do fall in love with her and she is the great love story of your life, I hope you know that it was real. Us. It was all real, and it didn’t stop being so the day I left. And for me, I’m not sure that it ever will._

 

_I love you, Robb. Always have, always will, and I’ll regret making you doubt it forever._

 

_Your Ella_

 

October 14th had been the night he’d told her about Talisa. He read the letter three times before turning the page. On October 15th she’d written one thing over and over again.

 

_I love you._

 

And on the 16th she’d told him all about her cat. He laughed as he read about her trip to the veterinarian, the way the cat had chased a Mastiff around the waiting room. The vet had told her the cat might have a spirit inside it, and rather than take the cat to a different vet she had asked him what he meant. So he told her all about the god of death and his servants who called themselves _No One_.

 

The paper on the 17th was crinkled from dried tears and the ink had bled too much to make out much more than _I’m sorry_ and _I miss you_.

 

So it went on and on all through October and November. Some nights she wrote about old times, recounting stories of their childhood and relationship. On others she told him all about Braavos. She wrote an entire letter about the walk to one of her favorite bars, and he traveled the broken cobblestone streets with her, climbing up and up and up and down one alley and then another. He passed by fruit carts and bakeries and houses of ill repute. He followed her through smokey rooms and listened to the sea crashing against the rocks.

 

Some nights the letters were short, a few words only. They were always filled with love and regret, and the smudginess of letters made him think she’d been drinking when she wrote them. Others were long and excruciating.

 

The sheer liveliness of her pain was clear in every one. The way she carried it around with her like shackles.

 

He read on and on and on. Going back and reading a letter from October to make sense of one in December. The pads of his fingers lingered on the indentations she’d made when she was particularly angry with herself. He read them again and again and again.

 

She stopped writing the night before she left Braavos. She told him in the letter that she wouldn’t keep writing, that she was coming home and that it wouldn’t do anybody any good for her to be mooning around. That she knew she was going to have to face him and that she hoped she’d have the courage to say the things that needed to be said when she did.

 

He read that letter five times, it felt like losing her all over again.

 

It was past one by the time he’d finished. He’d be late for lunch, no way of avoiding that. He wasn’t sure that he could eat a thing, that he could face anyone, but he wasn’t entirely sure what else there was to do.

 

He went to close the notebook but it fell open to last page. Another envelope was pressed to the back.

 

He tore it off greedily, forgetting all about lunch, and opened it. In the upper right hand corner there was last night’s date written, and it started out as they all did with _Dear Robb_.

 

_Dear Robb,_

 

_I don’t know what to say. What good are apologies now, after all that has happened? I’m not the girl who broke up with you anymore, and you aren’t the boy I broke up with._

 

_I’m not making sense, am I? That’s just as well. I have thought about this over and over and over and it hasn’t made a bit of difference because there’s nothing logical about this - any of it._

 

_I realized tonight that this whole time you thought I broke up with you so that I could see what it was like to be with other people. That would have been logical. I’m only nineteen and I’ve only ever been with you. Had that been the reason, would it really have been so unforgivable?_

 

_But the truth is, I didn’t want to know what it would be like with other people. I wanted to know what it would be like on my own._

 

_Since we got together I was wholly reliant on you. I went straight from the shelter of my parents’ house to the shelter of yours. Your friends, your life, I folded myself into it because I didn’t have the courage to make one for myself. I was so happy with you that I never wondered if I was happy on my own._

 

_And then Braavos came along. All of a sudden I was going to be without you, and I didn’t know how to do it. You were my crutch, my habit, my addiction, and I knew there would be no weaning myself off of you - I had to go cold turkey._

 

_See? I told you it would sound selfish. And you were right, it was._

 

_Because at the time I didn’t care that you were dependent on me too. I couldn’t see it. All I saw was how much I needed you and it made me hate myself a little bit. And as hard and lonely as it was in Braavos, as angry at myself as I was, I began to like myself too._

 

_I began to rely on myself in a way that I never have._

 

_I practiced my ballet and my High Valyrian, I explored a city and its people, I studied ancient texts and invented new ideas and I did it all on my own. And I know, I know you wouldn’t have held me back from any of it intentionally, but having you would have fooled me into thinking I didn’t need any of that. I would have stayed in my apartment and video chatted with you and when you came to visit I would only be able to take you to the touristy parts because they would be the only places that I knew._

 

_The thing about loving you, about being loved by you, is that it feels like enough. Being with you is such a heady thing, the love we shared was the kind of love that makes you feel like you can do everything, but having that love made me feel like I didn’t need to do anything. I had you, what else could I ever need?_

 

_So maybe it’s selfish to say that I wanted more, but really, I wouldn’t be worthy of your love if I didn’t._

 

_Please know that I don’t say any of this to make you feel like I thought you were holding me back. If there is one thing I know it is that you have always wanted me to have each and every thing I’ve ever wanted, that you would stop at nothing to help me get it._

 

_I am more confident in that than I will ever be in anything for the rest of my life, even if I never get to feel it again._

 

_We said it on one of those first night’s, didn’t we? Maybe it was okay that we only belonged to each other for a little while. I was your first love, and you were mine, and maybe it was never meant to be more than that. Maybe we could only hold onto each other for a little while, because the people we were holding onto were slipping through our fingers._

 

_That’s what I’ve been telling myself these past months. That it was what it was, a beautiful relationship while it lasted. But now I think that’s rubbish._

 

_Were we really so fragile that we couldn’t stand growing up?_

 

_I may not be the girl I was, but I bet you’d fall in love with the woman I’ve become if you’d let yourself. I for one know that I love you - and that I’ll keep loving every iteration of you, even if it’s from afar._

 

_I broke up with you because I wasn’t sure I could live without you. Now I know that I can. I can do it, I’ll be alright. But I’ll never be happy, the way I think I was meant to be, without you._

 

_You wanted me to fight for you, so there it is. I will be able to live my life knowing that you’re happy, but will you be able to live yours knowing that I’m not?_

 

_I never claimed I’d fight fair, but no one in love ever really does. It’s a brutal business, but it’s all we’ve got._

 

_Your Ella_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Peaks out from behind fingers* I'd love to hear what you all think! xx


	24. Chapter 24

Robb’s sneakers were soaked through by the time he got home. He’d been at the gym with Jon, training together the way they always did in the off season, and when he’d left he’d found that the day’s earlier snow had turned to freezing rain. He’d jogged home but not quickly enough and he kicked his sopping sneakers off as he hung up his coat.

 

It had been a long day. Though they all seemed long now. He hadn’t slept a wink since reading Ella’s letters, hardly more than a few hours in the past five days. He had read the notebook all the way through at least ten times by now.

 

He knew that he should have reached out to her about it, after reading it there was no guessing how she felt, and he knew that she would be waiting by the phone waiting for him to call. He wasn’t trying to punish her, he just didn’t know what to do.

 

It was all he’d thought about. She was right, he had thought she’d broken up with him to be with other people. And he’d thought that when she’d left with Trystane the night of the holiday party that she’d been with him too. Now though he knew that she hadn’t. She hadn’t been with anyone, she would have told him in one of the letters if she had.

 

He hated himself for being relieved. She was right, honestly. Would it have been so bad if she _had_ wanted to be with other people? He had years of hooking up with girls before he’d gotten together with her. He knew what one night and two night stands felt like. What it was like to have a threesome. She’d only ever been with him and they’d been talking about forever. In truth it wouldn’t have been so crazy if she’d wanted to explore a bit, now, while she was young.

 

Knowing that she hadn’t though relieved him in a way that he couldn’t entirely explain. He knew it was archaic, naive, but he couldn’t help it. To him, Ella was entirely pure. Everywhere that he was base, she was divine. He was a slave to his emotions, his desires, and she controlled hers. She was wrong, so wrong. She thought she was the weak one but she’d always been the stronger of the two of them, always. Before her he had gone on a binge of girls that looked nothing like her because he was afraid he’d never get her. Had she wanted to do the same in Braavos she could have easily. Men and women alike would have lined up for the opportunity, as he was sure they had. Had he been in her place he would have had a feast, but she abstained in favor of higher pursuits.

 

He walked into the living room and found Sam and Pip playing video games. They paused when he walked in and looked at him.

 

“It’s fucking disgusting out,” he informed them eloquently.

 

Pip nodded and Sam gave him his _Sam_ look, the one where his cheeks got a little red and his eyebrows started moving of their own accord and he didn’t blink.

 

“There isn’t another package here, is there?,” he asked.

 

He wasn’t sure that he could take that.

 

“Not… exactly,” Sam replied.

 

His brow furrowed, “What the fuck does that mean?”

 

Pip shook his head, “Just go upstairs, man,” then mumbled under his breath, “Fucking drama.”

 

Robb ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. He wasn’t entirely sure what _fucking drama_ was awaiting him, but he really wasn’t ready to see Ella. At this point he’d rather the entire King’s Landing rugby team was waiting for him than her.

 

He trudged up the stairs with lead in his feet and walked down the hallway to his room. His door was closed and stood outside for a moment, gathering his strength, and then he turned the knob and opened the door.

 

And just as he suspected there was a beautiful girl sitting on his bed.

 

“Hey,” he greeted her, with far less enthusiasm than he should have.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Talisa told him, her back to him.

 

He sighed and closed the door. She was absolutely right. He’d shown up late to meet her and his sisters for lunch on Saturday. It had been an awkward meal and when it was over and Sansa and Arya were heading to go meet Ella he had kissed Talisa goodbye and told her that he had to study. It had been a lie, he’d raced home to read the letters over again.

 

Since then he’d been responding only every so often to her text messages, and he’d cancelled their usual dinner on Tuesday. He wasn’t doing it to be cruel, in fact he was _trying_ not to be. He’d had no idea where his head was at and he didn’t want to lie to her. No more than he already had anyway.

 

“I know, I’m sor-,” he started but she interrupted him.

 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she repeated and went on, “And I didn’t know why. I thought maybe your sisters had… I don’t know. Anyway, I thought I might have done something, so I came over here to surprise you.”

 

Her back was still to him so he had time to look around the room. There were dozens of unlit candles, and his heart sank to his stomach.

 

“I wore the lingerie you like,” she told him, “And I was going to light all these candles. I was going to be here lying on your bed waiting for you when you got home. But your bed was an absolute mess, so I went to make it, and that’s when I found,” she finally turned around and he saw that her face was blotchy from tears. She held up Ella’s notebook, “This.”

 

Never in his life had he been well and truly speechless until this moment.

 

The sight of her on his bed, her cheeks stained with tears and Ella’s notebook in her hands like a bloody knife was almost too much to bear.

 

“Talisa I can expl-,” he started.

 

She shot off the bed though and shook her head, “Explain? Explain? You’ve been _sleeping_ with it!”

 

With that she threw Ella’s notebook clear across the room. It fell with an angry thud and both he and Talisa stared at where it lay, directly in between them the way Ella had always been.

 

“I thought it was _over_ between you two, you told me it was _over_ ,” she railed at him, “You came to my _home,_ you met my _parents_ , why? Why would you do that?”

 

Guilt hit him like waves crashing against the shore. Every time he thought he got his bearings another one engulfed him.

 

“It was over,” he told her and she glared at him. He stepped forward and she stepped away, holding her hand out in front of her so he stopped in place. “It was over. I hadn’t heard from her in over a month when I met you. And then when I did -“

 

“October 14th,” Talisa guessed, “She called you that night and you told her about me.”

 

His jaw clenched, “Yes.”

 

“Did you even get out of bed to take the call?,” she asked and he nearly doubled over, but she pressed on, “Or did you take it with me lying next to you?”

 

He’d gone out into the hall but that didn’t matter to her. She didn’t know that he’d gone to Jon’s room straight after, that he’d only slipped back into bed with her when the sun was rising.

 

“We didn’t speak again until the Holiday Party,” he told her. Her eyes flicked to his and he could tell she knew there was more to it so he admitted, “I left at one point, remember? I followed her out into the hall. Seeing her… affected me more than I let on I think.”

 

Talisa nodded, “Yes, you’re a brilliant actor, I’ll give you that. Nearly as good as her.”

 

“Talisa please, I never meant to hurt you,” he told her honestly.

 

Her eyes flicked to his and she said, “Maybe. But you always knew you were going to, didn’t you?”

 

He nodded, because she deserved the truth. He knew that even if it wasn’t going to be Ella, it wasn’t going to be her. He had fallen for her more deeply than he expected to, but not enough. They had always had an expiration date and he wouldn’t pretend now that he didn’t know it.

 

She had deserved better, so much better than she’d gotten, but as he hadn’t given it to her he imagined she didn’t want to hear it from him.

 

“For a bright girl she’s not a very good writer,” Talisa informed him coldly, she started walking towards him and now he felt the urge to run away. “Run on sentences, tangents, self-indulgent really,” she went on but she stopped when she got to the notebook and bent down and picked it up. He hated himself for how much he disliked seeing it in her hands. “But I’ll say this, she knows how to get her point across.”

 

“Talisa, please,” he tried.

 

She handled the notebook deftly, as though she knew exactly where she was going, and so suddenly he did too.

 

“Something I found _particularly_ compelling was this,” she said, flipping to the last page and pulling out the last letter. She let the rest of the notebook drop to the floor and unfolded the paper, “ _You wanted me to fight for you_.” She looked at him and fresh tears filled her eyes, “When did you tell her that? What _happened_ on Friday night? While I was in this house? What did you _do,_ Robb?”

 

There was no point in denying or sugarcoating any of it. There was no way out of this and if he were perfectly honest he didn’t want one. He should have broken up with her weeks ago, months even. Certainly since the holiday party. He had known the minute he saw Ella that it wasn’t over, that it never would be. He had let Talisa play second fiddle for far too long and he deserved whatever she wanted to give him.

 

“We got in a fight,” he told her and her brow raised, “I saw a guy with her, your friend Sophie’s new boyfriend. He was one of the guys in Ella’s program in Braavos. I saw them together and I -“

 

“Didn’t care because you had your loving girlfriend?,” Talisa asked, “No?”

 

“I got jealous _in spite_ of having my loving girlfriend… I pulled her away and we fought and… I kissed her.”

 

Talisa’s head dropped. The fight went out of her entirely. Her shoulders slumped, and then they started shaking.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he told her, “It was…nothing you did.”

 

Her shoulders started shaking and then he realized she was now laughing. She looked up at him, “It was nothing I _did_? No shit, you asshole!”

 

“Talisa, please,” he tried weakly.

 

The laughter died and her nose scrunched and she crumbled up Ella’s letter and chucked it at him. She hurriedly picked up her things and went to whiz by him.

 

“I am sorry,” he told her softly.

 

She’d already gotten to the door but she paused and told him, “Even if I believed you I wouldn’t care. Years from now when you want to look back at me fondly as a minor character in your and Ella’s love story, know that you will always be the villain in mine.”

 

***

 

Myrcella woke to hissing. And then a loud crash and a bang and an angry cat screech. If she weren’t so petrified it would have almost been amusing - it could have been a soundbite from any number of television shows.

 

She shot up in bed and saw a large figure standing over her bed.

 

“It’s me it’s me it’s me,” a petrified voice assured her.

 

“ _Robb?_?,” she asked with a yawn.

 

“Yeah _ow, OW_! _,”_ he whimpered and she could only guess what No One was doing to him.

 

She made a clucking noise with her tongue and just like that her cat abandoned his victim and hopped up on the bed. She pulled him to her and stroked his fur, but his purring wasn’t calming her the way it usually did.

 

Because Robb Stark was still standing there in her room and he hadn’t told her why.

 

“You’re here?,” she asked.

 

“Yeah I picked the lock,” he told her.

 

“No that’s not - well, actually that’s mildly terrifying,” she admitted and shook her head. She was so tired, she had only just fallen asleep and nothing was making much sense to her. She tried again, “I meant, what are you doing here?”

 

He walked the short distance to her bed and to her immense surprise sat down on it. His face came into focus and she saw that he was giving her a small smile and then just like that her pulse slowed to that steady _thrum, thrum, thrum._ She couldn’t remember the last time he’d smile at her, and suddenly she didn’t care if she was asleep or not, because he was angry at her in all of her dreams too.

 

“We’ve got a sunrise to watch,” he told her, then asked, “Where else would I be?”

 

“A…sunrise?,” she repeated.

 

“It’s your birthday, did you forget?,” he wondered. She nodded dumbly, because she supposed she had. She knew her friends were planning something but she hadn’t given it much thought. “I didn’t.”

 

All at once she was wide awake and she launched herself forward and hugged him. She wasn’t sure what this meant, if she’d been forgiven or if he was just too kind to break tradition even when she’d broken his heart, but in that moment she didn’t care.

 

He was here, for her, the way he’d always been. The way she’d feared he wouldn’t be.

 

He hugged her back and he was so warm and he smelled so good and he was holding onto her like he’d missed the feel of her in his arms.

 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she told him. “I’m so sor-“

 

“Let’s not do that now,” he said in her ear, “Let’s just get you dressed before the coffee gets cold and we can talk about all of that later.”

 

She nodded and squeezed him once more and then jumped out of bed. She pulled clothes out of her closet and turned to him.

 

“I’ll just…,” she gestured to the door and he nodded.

 

She had no idea if he was still with Talisa, but even if he wasn’t it felt strange to change in front ofhim now. It was silly, she knew. He had seen every inch of her, kissed every inch of her, but now it felt odd to be naked in front of him.

 

Her dorm room had an ensuite bathroom so she opened the door and went inside. She pulled off her pajamas quickly and dressed in a hurry. When she was dressed she washed her face and brushed her teeth and swiped on some deodorant and then spritzed herself with a bit of the perfume she knew that he loved. Her hair was matted to her head from tossing and turning so she ran her brush through it, shaking her head to give it a little more life.

 

She gave herself one last look and forced herself to breathe normally before opening the door.

 

Robb was still sitting on her bed but now he had No One in his arms, purring loud enough that she could hear it from where she stood.

 

“That didn’t take long,” she said.

 

Robb chuckled and scratched under his chin, “He’s not so bad.”

 

She smiled and grabbed her coat and hat and mittens, stepping into her snowboots.

 

“Shall we?,” she asked.

 

Robb kissed No One’s forehead and then set him down on the bed, “We shall.”

 

He stood up and walked towards her, and as though the last seven months hadn’t happened he reached for her hand. She gave it eagerly and he pulled her outside into the hallway. They went down the stairs and he took her out the back to the parking lot behind her dorm where his truck was waiting.

 

She felt high, the way she’d felt the first time they’d done MDMA together. Everything had taken on a shimmery quality and she felt weightless, anchored only by him, her hand in his.

 

He walked her to the passenger side and opened the door and she glanced at him briefly before getting in.

 

She eased back against the seat, her seat, and waited as he walked around to his side. She leaned her cheek against the seat and watched as he opened the door. It was still dark but she could see the slope of his cheekbone and the stubble resting on his jaw, she could see his breath in the cold air and his eyes on hers.

 

He eased himself into the truck and started the engine.

 

“Where are we going?,” she wondered.

 

He grinned as he pulled out of the parking lot, “Come on, El. You know me better than that.”

 

She smiled because he was right, and he was teasing her and he’d called her El. She contented herself with sitting next to him, and the overwhelming comfort she’d always felt being driven by him.

 

He drove them to the edge of town and then onto the highway. She didn’t pay much attention to where they were going but they must have gone five miles or so when he pulled off at an exit and went down a long country lane.

 

He turned into another snowy parking lot and shut off the car.

 

“Can you grab the coffees?,” he asked.

 

“Yep,” she told him and took hold of them.

 

She got out of the truck and walked around to the trunk where he was pulling out a large basket. Her body filled with warmth, and her insides turned gooey when he caught her staring and turned and gave her one of his small, crinkly eyed smiles.

 

She risked ruining it all by asking, “Robb… does Talisa know you’re here?”

 

He shut the trunk and said, “Talisa’s not really concerned where I’m spending my time anymore. Come on.”

 

She followed behind him and stopped when he did. They didn’t seem to be anywhere yet so she was confused when he double backed, but then he placed his hand on the back of her jacket and scrunched it in his hand. 

“It’s slippery up there, take it slow, okay?,” he asked.

 

She nodded, “Okay.”

 

They made there way together through the dark another fifty feet or so and then a bench came into focus. Robb set down the basket and opened it, pulling out a large blanket.

 

She sat down on the bench when he gestured for her to do so and he sat down next to her, pulling the blanket over them both. She handed him one of the coffees, the one that tasted bitter, and he took it and took a small sip.

 

She sipped from hers too and smiled when she looked out in front of them. They wereat one of the famous lookout spots in the area, and from here they’d be able to see the sun rise over the mountains.

 

A gust of wind came up over the peak and she shivered. As if out of habit Robb wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

 

It was so perfect and normal and at the same time so exhilarating that she couldn’t help but say, “Robb -“

 

“You always deserved my love,” he interrupted. He turned to look at her and said, “In your last letter you said -“

 

“I know what I said,” she interrupted him.

 

“You always deserved it,” he told her again.

 

She heard the past tense and she couldn’t help but ask, “Do I deserve it now?”

 

“What does that matter?,” he asked harshly and she flinched, “You _have_ it, and you’re always going to have it. I’ve been so… mad at you Ella. And I’m not sure that’s going to go away so easily. But I am _so_ ,” he told her a tear dropping out of his eye, “Happy you were born.”

 

She let out a tear filled laugh and he caught it on his lips. It was soft and sweet and so different than the kiss at his house that it felt like flowers might sprout right up in the snow.

 

Their foreheads pressed together as their lips parted, “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Don’t say that,” he shook his head. “I’m mad at you, but I’m mad at me too. For what I thought about you, about why you did it. I should have gotten on a plane and followed you - I should have _fought_ for us, the way I wanted you to. I should never have been with Talisa… You ended things, but I’m the one who made a mess of them.”

 

She pressed her lips to his again and he kissed her back. There was more to discuss, so much more, but right now all that mattered was that she loved him and he loved her. They had their whole lives to figure out the rest, and that thought filled her with calm the way it had once made her nervous.

 

He pulled away and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear,“Show’s starting.”

 

She settled against him, their arms wrapped around each other. Their forgotten coffees went cold and the doughnuts went uneaten.

 

And in all her life Myrcella had never seen anything more beautiful than the sun rising in Robb Stark’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you think. I was really worried about the pacing, but I just don't think Robb would have waited any longer. I hope you enjoyed, xx!


	25. Chapter 25

Robb raced into the restaurant at a few minutes to 8. It was snowing out but he wasn’t running because of that, he was running because of who was sitting at the bar waiting for him.

 

Gendry caught sight of him and nodded in his direction, which made Ella turn around.

 

A happy, gorgeous smile overtook her face and he made his way through the crowded restaurant.

 

He and Gendry slapped hands and then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ella’s smile. Her soft hand touched his cheek and his heart steadied to that thrum that he never quite achieved when she wasn’t around.

 

He ordered a glass of whiskey from the bartender and rested his arm on the back of Ella’s bar seat. Gendry was mid-story so she nudged her brother with her toe as she took a sip of her dark red wine.

 

Robb chuckled as Gendry explained in bewilderment the politics test he’d just taken and as he continued Ella pressed her arm ever so gently against his chest. He pressed back, grateful for the contact.

 

He hadn’t seen her in three days and he’d missed her terribly. It was part of the _Robb and Ella Reunion Tour 2020_ , not being inextricably linked with one another. They’d talked _a lot_ about how they both wanted things to be going forward, and they’d both admitted that they’d been entirely too reliant on the other - so much that when they didn’t have each other they’d lost themselves too.

 

So they had agreed that they both had to pursue things - interests, friendships - outside of their relationship. Ella was back to ballet four times a week and he and Jon were starting to develop a business plan for after university. She went out with Lena and Ygritte and he went out with the guys.

 

It felt healthier, certainly, but even still it drove him a little crazy. They had been away from each other for so long, and the desire to always be together hadn’t left either of them.

 

They’d spent all day Saturday together and on Sunday Ella had texted him as he was getting into bed.

 

_Ella: I know I’m breaking the rules…_

 

_Robb: I’ll be there in five._

 

That was all it had taken and he’d raced over to her dorm and crawled into bed with her and No One. They’d talked a little bit and made love and then just slept, tangled in each other’s arms, relishing the deepness of the sleep. He’d kissed her goodbye on Monday morning and hadn’t seen her again until tonight.

 

They’d texted a little bit each day, good mornings and goodnights and an I love you here and there, but nothing major.

 

They were trying, really trying. They both knew that this was it, forever, and they wanted to get it right this time.

 

She looked beautiful in a cream turtleneck sweater, her still short golden hair held off her face with a headband and her lips painted a red as dark as her wine, and he couldn’t help taking his hand off the back of her chair and letting his fingers trail up and down her spine.

 

Ella looked up at him and grinned and he smiled down at her.

 

Her eyes got wide and then she turned to Gendry with a smile and said, “You’ll never guess what Dad did.”

 

She then regaled them with a story about their father trying to plant flowers in the middle of winter so that they’d be there for her when spring came. The way she told it was hilarious and he could picture Robert falling on his ass in the snow and cursing whatever gods and devils existed, but there was more to it than that. Before Gendry came along her father wouldn’t have bought her flowers let alone planted them.

 

It was one of so many things that had changed in the past year, she had a brother and a father - not the family she expected but more than she’d had all those years that her parents left her alone for weeks at a time and her brothers and she passed each other like strangers.

 

Robb looked at Gendry who was hanging on her every word, making her laugh as he interspersed commentary on their father’s insanity and riling her up until she was talking faster and faster trying to get it all out in between laughter. Gendry caught his eye and nodded at him and he nodded back and it felt like things were finally getting back to normal between them too.

 

It had taken a little while. Gendry was understandably wary of him after the way he’d acted, and he of all people had seen how unhealthy his and Ella’s relationship could be at times. Even more than that though, just as Ella had never had a true brother, he had never had a sister. The pair of them were thick as thieves, one another’s confidants and truest companions, and a part of Robb thought that Gendry was worried he’d lose Ella a little bit.

 

He shouldn’t have been though, the thing about Ella was that she had no limits of room in her heart and once you were there you were locked in forever. She called them _her boys_ which made Jon and Grenn horribly jealous but made Gendry swell with the same pride that Robb always felt when Sansa called him and told him she was putting him on speaker phone because Baby loved his voice. The feeling of being needed by the people you love was no small thing, and he and Gendry understood one another implicitly in that.

 

When he was halfway through his drink the hostess came over and told them that their table was ready. They walked over to a semi-circle booth and he and Gendry got in on either side of Ella.

 

The conversation soon turned to appetizers, and how they _had_ to get the burrata or Ella would walk back to Winterfell to Sansa who was the only one who understood her _anyway_ , and he and Gendry agreed that the sausage was a must even though Ella made a face, but they all agreed on the tuna tartare so they were all friends again.

 

The food was delicious and they ordered a bottle of wine to go with it and then they were having such a good time that they ordered another.

 

As they sat sipping from their glasses Ella pulled out her phone and checked it. She giggled and then started typing something quickly back.

 

“That’s very rude, young lady,” Gendry noted.

 

“Sorry sorry,” she said, typing all the while. “Arya says hi.”

 

“Hiiii Arya,” Robb said.

 

“Oh not to you -,” Ella said and then her jaw dropped.

 

“Ella!,” Gendry all but shouted and she covered her mouth and then snorted out a laugh.

 

Robb was focused on Gendry who was shaking his head at his sister but then choked out a laugh as well. The pair of them dissolved into hysterics and he sat there in bewilderment. This struck them as all the funnier and they were clutching their sides.

 

“What on earth is wrong with you two?,” he finally asked.

 

Ella fanned herself and Gendry tried to straighten up.

 

“Um, should we tell him?,” Gendry asked.

 

“Yeah, I think you fucking better,” he answered, though the question had not been directed at him.

 

Ella looked at Gendry, “Do you want me to?”

 

Gendry placed his elbows down on the table and then his face in his hands, “Yeah that’s probably for the best.”

 

Ella turned to him and looked at him until he looked back.

 

“Hi,” she smiled.

 

“Hi…,” he repeated.

 

“So, do you remember -“

 

“Oh Ella just fucking get there!,” Gendry whisper-shouted at her.

 

Ella’s head whipped towards him and asked stubbornly, “Oh I’m _sorry_ would _you_ prefer to tell him that you’re dating his sister or shall I?”

 

“What was that?,” Robb asked, sure that he had heard wrong. Sansa was _married_ she couldn’t be dating him and Arya… Arya. “ARYA!?!”

 

“Oops,” Ella said and then shooed Gendry away when he flicked her.

 

“Yeah so,” Gendry said, crossing his arms and then running his hand through his hair and then taking a sip of wine and then repeating this again, “This summer -“

 

“THIS SUMMER!!??,” Robb interrupted.

 

“Robb they are going to kick us out,” Ella chided.

 

“Right, sorry,” he nodded and looked at Gendry, “So it’s been you this whole time? Sansa though there was someone but…”

 

Gendry nodded, “Yeah uh, since the 4th of July.”

 

“Thank fucking god,” Robb sighed.

 

“WHAT?!,” both Ella and Gendry shouted, looking incredibly and unbelievably alike for a single moment.

 

Robb shrugged, “Yeah well we thought there might be someone but when she wasn’t telling us who it was we figured there was something wrong… you know um, he was way older or like in a gang or something. Classic Arya stuff.”

 

Ella turned to look at Gendry and gave him a thwack on the arm with a grin, “See? Didn’t I _tell_ you?”

 

“Hey!,” Robb said to her. She turned and looked at him with wide eyes. “How long have you known?”

 

“I’m sorry?,” Ella asked innocently.

 

“Ella,” he chuckled.

 

“ _SinceJuly5th_ ,” she mumbled.

 

“Ella!,” he admonished.

 

“I was protecting their love!,” she argued.

 

“Stop it,” Gendry growled.

 

“But you _loooove_ her,” Ella teased and Gendry looked her dead in the eye as he picked up her glass of wine and downed the rest of it.

 

Ella shrugged and slid over towards Robb and picked up his glass and took a small sip. He wrapped his arm around her and when Gendry glared at him he glared right back.

 

“Just so you know, if you ever hurt her, I’m going to make what happened on the rugby field look like a day at the fucking beach,” he warned him.

 

“Copy that,” Gendry nodded.

 

“What happened on the rugby field?,” Ella asked and suddenly Gendry and he were back on the same team. She looked between them, “Boys?”

 

“Should we get that pistachio cake you like?,” Robb asked just as Gendry signaled for the check.

 

She looked between them and sighed and he and Gendry grinned at one another. In one way or two they’d likely be brother-in-laws one day, and if they had a chance against Arya and Ella they were going to have to band together now more than ever.

 

“You boys are unbelievable,” Ella chided.

 

“Yeah, well, you love us anyway,” Gendry shrugged.

 

*

 

“Oh my god,” he groaned as he buried his face in the back of Ella’s hair as he pushed her gently into his bedroom. “You. Naked. Now.”

 

“God I love when you recite poetry,” she teased and he tackled her to the bed chuckling.

 

They were a mess of limbs and lips and discarded clothing. Of all the things that had changed or stalled in their relationship, this wasn’t one of them. They knew each other’s bodies so well that they didn’t have to think about anything when they were together.

 

They were naked now and Ella was kissing his chest, her fingers wandering over his torso.

 

“Oh I missed you,” she purred against his chest.

 

“Fuck I missed you,” he admitted, “I think we need to rethink this whole not seeing each other as much thing.”

 

She looked up at him with a small smile on her lips, “I was actually talking to your abs…”

 

He chuckled, “My abs, is it?,” he tackled her backwards and boxed her in, brushing her soft hair out of her face, “Still only love me for my body, huh?” Ella fluttered her eyelashes at him and he let his index finger trail down the slope of her cheekbone, “And what are you going do when I’m old and fat?”

 

“Kiss your rolls,” she told him without missing a beat, and then her fingers threaded into his hair and her eyes shimmered as her voice dropped into sincerity, “And love you all the same.”

 

He lowered his lips to hers and she kissed him back fervently. Their laughter was gone as they moved with one another, and soon they were all shared breaths and sweaty limbs.

 

He knew he wasn’t perfect, and he’d even admit that she wasn’t either, but together, like this, they could be.

 

As the snows melted and the pain of the fall and wintered disappeared along with them, they stopped worrying about all the things they were supposed to do. Over the years there would be more heartache and growing pains, but all the lessons they learned, they learned together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you for reading this story! All of your comments and notes on Tumblr have meant so much to me, and I appreciate you all sticking with me through the hard bits.
> 
> I hope this was a worthy end for them, and it was important to me that it wasn't so much an end but a continuation. They are still young, and have a lot to learn, but they know the most important thing which is that they love and need one another.
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts, and thank you again! xx


End file.
